|A CAVE Story Unabriged
Author: BlueRetroPenguin PM
For all of you who were baffled by how bland the Cave story dialouge was not the plot we have spiced this cave story up. This is a collaboration with authors BlueRetroPenguin and Lunara the Ara using Cave Story. Enjoy, or perish. Very, Eh-hem, WordyRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,486 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 06-13-12 - Published: 06-12-12 - id: 8212336
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: This was not written by myself only. This was a collaboration between myself and the wonderfully talented Lunara the Ara. For any audience members out there that my find this offensive, please leave a review of your reasons of injustice and a phone number to call in case you sue. (ha, bad cave story pun) We will use the flames to bake anchovie pizzas and have them sent to your house. Thank you.
OMG SUEE! TALK TO ME ALREEADY! PLEASE SUE! I'll.. I'll... I'll eat a cockroach if you pick up. Or Ill make you eat a cockroach. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Sometime later: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
More time Later: SUUUUUEE! OH DOUBLE-M GGGGG!
More time later: You know that time I put bugs in your bed when you were asleep. Well I'm sorry about that. Or maybe that time I read your diary. I know you're a very dirty little girl
About time for him to go insane: DAMN IT, ANSWER BITCH! OR I'LL BURN YOUR DIARY WHICH I HAVE RIGHT HERE, IN MY HANDS, READING ABOUT THE TIME YOU TRIED TO DESTROY MY TELESCOPE.
...Just answer already...
Meanwhile: A guy who looks a lot like Ash Ketchum sat up from hearing the commotion. Strange how this guy could hear things coming from his headphone whats-it's on the sides of his RATHER LARGE HEAD. IN CAPS, BITCH.
"SUUUUUEEEEEEE! ANSWER MEEEE YA LITTLE ASS! I HAVE YOUR DIARY AND I'LL TELL MOOOOM!"
Shut UP. He thought, turning the volume down on his headphone-whats-its. GOD.
And so our Rather-Large-Headed Hero stumbled out of the cave, beginning to notice his amnesia, which was probably due to his large hangover. "What the- where the hell am?" I he thought to himself. So in his daze he stumbled to the left instead of the right, which showed just how stoned he was (because everyone knows video game players never start a game going left. Duh) And then he fell off a ledge, and landed in some ever so conveniently place spikes, and blew up in a spectacular and dramatic explosion. GAME OVER. THE END.
AN CONTRAIRE, MY FRIEND.
Our hero appeared in the FIRST CAVE again, and again could hear A TRANSMISSION... " SUE, I swear to god if you dont pick up I will burn each and ever one of your Barbie Dolls, and mabye even your panties while im at it. Yeah I went there. NOW YOU BETTER PICK UP YOU SLUT!
Our RLHH sighed and turned down the volume again, and walked out of the cave, having lost his hangover from his DRAMATIC DEATH. "WHO THE HELL LEAVES OUT DEADLY SPIKES IN A FREAKING CAVE" He yell. "Someone needs to clean up around here." So he jumped around etc etc. until he went into HOBO JOES SHACK and as the criminal robot he was made to be, stole the gun and... Left. WTF? NO KILLING? NO SHOT TO THE HEAD! NOTHING YOURE A KILLER ROBOT FOR CRIPES SAKE!
But no, he decided to waste some of the cute bats and Cricketts instead. Loser.
A transmission... "Sue... I think im hearing things. I think I hear something... someone... yelling about... spikes and... killer robots... and... OH NO! CUTE BATS! SUE SAVE ME! THERE ARE CUTE BATS!"