|Misty with a Chance of Storm
Author: MyHobbyIsToRunFromReality PM
In which Fon attempts to teach Mammon the joys in life other than money. FonxViper/MammonRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Fon & Mammon/Viper - Words: 2,708 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 10 - Published: 06-17-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8227426
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Summary: In which Fon attempts to teach Mammon the joys in life other than money
Misty with a Chance of Storm
Viper sat at the table, counting the money that she had recently collected on an assassination shortly before she was requested to complete a mission with six others. The blood from the gang leader was still slightly damp on her clothes. Oh well. Not like anybody could tell, the illusionist's clothing was too dark.
A hand passed her a steaming cup of tea. She looked up. Ah, the martial artist.
"Mu, what?" Viper asked.
"Have some oolong tea, it's very soothing." The Chinese man offered with a smile.
"I'm not going to pay for it." Viper said, going back to counting her money and ensuring that she wasn't conned. $900, $1000, $1100…
The man chuckled. Viper frowned and look up, giving him a glare. "What?"
"Do you not even take a cup of tea without paying for it?" The man asked. "I'm offering it in hopes that we may work well together along with the others."
"So as a bribe?" Viper asked, satisfied with the amount of money and pocketing it.
The man shook his head slightly. "No, just a…peace offering of sorts. I am Fon."
Viper took the cup and nodded in regard. "Viper."
Viper drained the cup as Fon left, choosing to offer tea to the others. He gave up when the paranoid hitman threatened to stick something very private of Fon's into the scalding beverage if he did not let off.
The man sat in between Viper and Luche after that, and although most might not have been able to see it, Viper, a psychic, knew Fon was close to breaking out in cold sweat. She couldn't blame him; none of them knew each other, and they didn't trust each other.
Everybody chose to do their own thing: the COMSUBIN was arguing over the phone with someone who was apparently her student, the scientist looking over formulas relating to inventions used for invisibility, the pregnant boss began to hand out cookies, the paranoid hitman disassembling and reassembling his gun at Mach speeds (obviously a show to tell the others that he was not one to be messed with), and the stunt man was lounging around, probably sleeping but Viper didn't bother using her psychic powers to find out something so meaningless.
Fon looked over at Viper, who was accounting and making sure that she got the best out of it.
"Do you only care about money?" Fon asked. Viper looked at him.
"I believe that money is important in living." Viper merely said…Now if she used illusioned money when buying her food… she would save…
"But there are greater things in life other than money—"
"Besides life itself?"
"I don't believe you, then." Viper stated strongly. Fon sighed.
"I believe that there are greater joys in life than money; and don't worry, I'll be sure to teach you, my greedy illusionist friend, Viper."
Viper seethed and broke the pencil she was holding and cursed sharply.
That was their first meeting; Viper's first impression was set in stone:
He's a nomadic, pacifist prick.
After several years of the seven working together (with the occasional tag-along of Lal's student), they managed to become closer, eventually making a name for themselves as the Arcobaleno. Of course, none of them had the faintest idea why they would be called the 'rainbow' (Viper had the sneaking suspicion that it was Verde's doing, what with 'baleno' meaning lightning), but they didn't question it. Fon continued his preaching about money and while Viper listened some times, most were spent ignoring the martial artist.
During a particularly tough mission, Viper was caught in a pinch. The enemy knew that if they aimed a firearm at somebody else, they would never live to tell the tale, however, a physically weak illusionist…
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" The man cried out, aiming a Bazooka launcher at Viper. The illusionist looked up with wide eyes from under her hood and tried to create an illusion to stop or at least slow down the missile.
Viper was surprised to see a flash of red, feel a gust of wind, and be on the ground a second later.
Fon smiled down at Viper and the girl glared, her nose scrunching up, before sending an Uroboros to attack the enemy. His screams were fresh in the air for the next few moments. Viper sighed. "I'll pay you for thanks." The girl reached into her inner pocket to retrieve several thousand yuan.
Fon sighed, and looked over at the rest of the Arcobaleno, who were retrieving the stolen documents from the man's body, which shockingly enough have not been shredded. "I'll take something else as thanks."
Viper frowned and was about to ask, when the smiling man, with his title as the fastest Arcobaleno and proving it, swooped down, caught her lips, stood up straight and walked towards the rest of the Arcobaleno as if it never happened.
Viper jumped a foot in the air after realizing what happened. Fon turned with that shit-eating smile of his.
"I saved your life so I believe a little kiss pays it back, ne Viper?"
Viper jumped to choke the man and Fon played along, allowing the illusionist to try and strangle him, all while having the same infuriating smile and offering oolong tea with what little breath he could muster. Skull was the first one to notice.
"V-Viper-nee, w-what's wrong?"
"D-Die, you damn martial artist!"
"Now, now Viper-chan let Fon go…"
"No use telling that stubborn illusionist Luche. See you guys on the mission tomorrow. Chaos."
"O-Oi, Reborn! Help us get Viper off!" Lal growled out.
"Ulk! V-Viper, take deep breaths and calm down!" Fon choked out.
After that little episode, Fon made an effort to save Viper's life more often. Viper made an effort to save her own life more often in retaliation.
Needless to say, Fon was not pleased.
The fated day came and they were cursed as babies, all of them were shaken. Viper went on more missions to collect as much money as possible while still adjusting to her new form.
Déjà vu struck as Viper was sent flying over a forest. 'But at least I took that asshole out with me…' Viper thought, ready to hit the ground.
Instead, she landed on someone's head.
"VOOOOIIIII! What the hell is this?" a long haired man shouted out, picking up Viper. "Arcobaleno? VOI! We don't have time for you!"
Viper looked at the patch on the man's jacket. "Varia?"
"You're looking for a Mist user and illusionist correct? I'm more than qualified. Hire me." Viper said, standing up in the man's hand.
"VOOOI! Shitty boss, what do you think of this?"
Viper blinked as the Varia Rain officer got nailed in the head with a shot glass.
"You're hired, trash. You start now; we're going to recruit a knife throwing eight-year-old prince that killed his family." An unscarred Xanxus told Viper.
"Mu, alright. Call me Vi—Mammon. Call me Mammon."
Viper was declared MIA. The Cradle Incident went down. Xanxus was freed. The Varia flew to Japan for the Half Ring Battle. The day before the Lightning Half Ring Battle, Bel dragged Mammon to a sushi shop called Takesushi. Mammon looked around.
"Mu, this place looks expensive."
"The prince will pay for Mammon if you eat here with me~" Bel purred out, pinching a cheek. Mammon pouted slightly, shooing the hand away.
"That's alright, Bel. I know a place where I can eat some good food for free." Mammon stated, leaving. She sat at the top of a shop in and looked around. She saw a gyoza stand with a slightly shady-looking man running it. Mammon sat down.
"Mu, hello Fon." Mammon stated. The vendor looked up, froze for a second and took off the glasses and hat, revealing his face.
"Viper! It's a pleasure to see you again, I heard you were MIA!" Fon smiled. Mammon sighed.
"My name is Mammon now. I work in the Varia. I would like some lunch; what do you recommend?" Mammon asked, taking a cup of oolong tea that Fon offered.
"Here, have some gyoza and ramen." Fon said, giving Mammon the food happily. "I would be delighted to hear what you've been doing recently."
"Mu. If you want information, you're going to have to pay me." Mammon stated stubbornly. Fon sighed and Lichi jumped from Fon's head to the space nearby Mammon and licked her cheek. Phantasma looked down from her master's head and jumped next to the monkey.
"Oh! Why didn't our pacifiers glow when you came by?" Fon asked. Mammon swallowed before answering.
"An invention of mine. If you want more information—"
"I know, Viper, I know." Fon answered, "So why don't I tell you about me?"
"After the curse was put on us, I was pretty much training with Gyoza Kempo. I've taught some excellent pupils and I've found that working a gyoza stand has good hiding and resources so I've been running several stands in Japan and China; I even have one in the States."
"That's sounds very nice." Mammon said, "It also seems to be having a good business if you have that many stands. You're cooking is as good as I remember."
Fon smiled. "Thank you Mammon. And have you found something greater in life than money yet?"
Mammon thought over it some. "I'm not so sure; knowledge perhaps? If you have knowledge, then you might be able to break a curse and live your life normally."
Fon sighed. "Better, but not completely there yet."
Mammon stood to leave. Phantasma looked up, croaked a farewell to Lichi, who waved, and jumped onto her master's head. "How much for the mea—mu!"
Once again, instead of taking money, the sly bastard leaned forward and gave her a kiss.
"That should pay for it." Fon said simply, and although his mouth was hidden the second the kiss ended, Mammon knew he had that damned all-knowing smirk on his face.
Lichi giggled slightly and moved towards Fon.
"Ushishishi, Mammon, come on, it's almost time for Baka-Levi's battle!" Bel said, picking up a slightly flustered Mammon and walking towards Nami Chuu with the baby in his arms.
Fon sulked as he saw the two walk away.
Mammon inwardly gave a relieved sigh. It looks like Bel hadn't seen—
"Ushishishi, Mammon-chan, if you give the prince a kiss too, then I won't tell Boss or Taicho about your little Arcobaleno boyfriend~" Bel smiled.
Mammon frowned and reminded herself to give the prince nightmares of his twin killing Bel that night before looking up and giving Bel's chin a half-second meeting with her lips. "You didn't say where."
Bel frowned. "You're cheap Mammon."
Time passed. Eventually, Mammon came back to Namimori for the Inheritance Trials. She sees Fon but only briefly. These were her exact words when she is about to leave:
"Try to kiss me again, you damned martial artist, and I'll give you nightmares."
Fon only chuckled and begins to walk away, only to turn around and hug Mammon from behind. When she turned around to throw some creative vocabulary around, the Storm Arcobaleno was gone.
More time passes. The Representative Battles happen and end, with the Vongola Decimo pulling off something no short of a miracle, defeating Checker Face and breaking the Arcobaleno Curse as well. Mammon handed the boy several million yen in thanks which the boy refused in a startled manner. Mammon left along with the Varia.
She did not see Fon again, except for short visits, until she was standing in a park in Japan, about three years later.
"Tea?" A voice asked, a thermos the beverage being offered. The warmth of the tea felt nice near her face during the winter cold.
"Thanks. Stupid Boss signed me up for a mission like this when he knows I hate the cold." Mammon growled. Fon shrugged.
"Disadvantage to being the only female Officer, I suppose, despite what Lussuria likes to think." Fon muttered.
"Yeah." Mammon nodded. "I'll hang around your stand later; a seduction mission doesn't really work well if there's another guy around the seducer that's not the target, you know."
Fon blinked. "Oh, I forgot to tell you? It's a restaurant now. Use your Thoughtography to find me later."
"Mu, fine." Mammon mumbled, taking in another gulp of tea and handing the thermos back.
Fon left and cherished in the warmth of his restaurant. Perhaps running out in the cold just to see someone was stupid, but oh well.
Mammon walked into the restaurant later that night, not completely sober, but not drunk either. Just a bit tipsy.
Fon looked at her. Like the very beginning, the blood was still hardly visible on her clothes unless you were looking specifically for the stains. Fon offered her tea, water, or soda, but Mammon shook her head. "I want to get so drunk that when look at my pacifier I'll see a plum; damn Boss is signing me up for another seduction in Russia in a week."
Fon, although a peace-maker, appealed to her wishes and gave her several glasses of the strongest sake he had in stock, giving some cups of water in between.
Once Mammon was as drunk as she wanted, it was far past closing time.
"Mammon, you better go, I'll call you a cab—" Fon began, and stopped when the illusionist grabbed his red shirt with a small fist.
"F-Fon… I think I finally found something better than money…" Mammon slurred, drunk as a skunk.
"Really, that's amazing Mammon, what is it?" Fon asked. Mammon's hand released its grip and tugged on Fon's braid instead, dragging the man's head down. Mammon tilted her head up and kissed him full on the lips.
Fon relished in this for a good thirty second before pulling away with a gentle smile. "Mammon, how drunk are you?"
"Mu… I swear on the drunk I'm not Trinisette…" Mammon mumbled, collapsing on the Storm's broad shoulder.
Fon sighed. That answered his question. "You mean 'I swear on the Trinisette I'm not drunk'?"
Fon chuckled and placed a kiss on the illusionist's red cheeks. "I'll ask you when you're sober."
Omake (Just 'cause I'm a dick to Viper/Mammon like that) :
Mammon groaned as she snuggled closer into the pillow. Her head was killing her…
"Ah, are you finally awake, Mammon?"
Mammon shot up and looked at who spoke. Fon was standing there, wearing his pants and grabbing his shirt from his closet.
"…Eh?..." Mammon managed to utter. Mammon, hangover be damned, looked to see what she was wearing
Fon's shirt, without a doubt, which reached her mid-thigh.
Mammon paled and looked up at Fon. "O-Oi… Did we…?"
"Did we what Mammon?" Fon asked, smile at max power.
"Don't play with me dammit!" Mammon hissed, grabbing Fon's braid, not unlike how she did last night, and looked him dead in the eye. "Did. You. Fuck. Me."
And shook his head. "Sadly, no."
Mammon released her grip and sighed in relief. "Then why am I wearing your shirt?"
"Your clothes were wet from the snow yesterday. They're currently in the wash." Fon answered.
"Oh and Mammon," Fon started.
Mammon looked up and Fon smacked her lips. "So, is that better than money?" Fon asked coyly.
Mammon blinked and dove under the covers. "I'm going back to sleep."
Fon chuckled slightly before leaving to make breakfast.
He swore he saw her blush before she hid herself, and that was good enough for him.