|A Million Fragments Of You And Me
Author: itsnotaboutlove PM
We're meant to be. A series of one-shots with Pike and his lady. Spin-off from Snapshots Of A Life. Read & Review please!Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - C. Pike - Chapters: 18 - Words: 31,394 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 04-08-13 - Published: 06-19-12 - id: 8235373
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Christopher Pike wasn't a man of religion or in believing in God or any religious figure. He and Amelia didn't marry in a church and they didn't baptize their son after he was born. While the injured and the families of those who perished during the attack on Vulcan prayed for a watchful eye, Christopher released his thoughts on a Starfleet registered shrink. The first six months was filled with intense physical therapy sessions that left him in near tears or completely exhausted. Amelia extended her maternity leave and added on an undisclosed amount of time off, just to take care of Andrew and to help around the house.
Feeling worthless and having thoughts that he couldn't bear to express towards his wife, Chris ended up calling Leonard one evening and telling him everything. While the doctor couldn't help, being that he was light-years away on a five-year mission, he did call upon a psychologist that owed him a favor and managed to get Chris in for weekly appointments.
"Are you sure you want to see a psychologist? I mean why can't you talk to me?" Amelia asked the next night as she made dinner.
"Because there are things that I can't tell you, Mia," he said, as Andrew sat in the baby carrier on the table.
Amelia looked over at him and nodded, "Oh.." she said softly, before turning back to the stove.
Chris sighed, "I want to tell you all these thoughts I have in my head, but it's just too much. I don't want to freak you out and make you worry," he said.
"I'm always worried, Chris. You could still be on the ship and I would always be worried," she said, turning around to face him. "That maternal instinct doesn't end with children, Chris. You're my husband. I'm allowed to be worried."
When Chris first met Dr. Cora Alyata, he was cold and distant. Her questions made him feel worse than he had already felt, and after each session he craved for a bottle of scotch to drown his miseries. When she suggested that Amelia should come and sit in on one of his sessions, he automatically said no.
"It's part of the healing process, Christopher," she would say.
So when Christopher brought it up one night as they got ready for bed, Amelia thought it was a great idea.
"I would like that," she said, as she fiddled with the baby monitor.
"It's going to be boring, Mia. You really don't want to sit there for an hour and thirty minutes," he said, trying to get her to back out.
"Chris, I'm going. We're in this together, remember?" she said, settling down for the night.
That Friday, Amelia and Chris arrived right on time for his weekly appointment. Amelia had been taken back at how young Cora was and would later comment on it, wondering if medical schools were giving degrees out to whoever showed up. The first twenty minutes consisted of Cora asking how his week went. About physical therapy and how he was doing with work. Then the questions were directed towards Amelia.
"So Amelia, how are you dealing with all of this?" Cora asked, a sunny smile plastered on her face.
Amelia glanced at her husband before turning back to the younger woman, "Fine.." she said.
"Well would you like me to say that I'm not dealing with this?" Amelia asked.
"Mia.." Chris said softly, reaching out to take her hand.
Cora held her hands up, "All I'm asking is how you are dealing with this situation. I know you two have a baby, correct?" she asked.
Amelia nodded, "Yes, we do," she said.
"Then is it safe to say that you didn't sign up for all of this?" Cora asked.
Chris closed his eyes and shook his head, suppressing a groan as Amelia stared down the woman.
"Excuse me?" she hissed.
Chris knew that she was glaring and knew that Cora was in for a spat of her life.
"I'm sorry," Amelia said, laughing bitterly. "But it sounds like you're suggesting that I signed some type of application on how I wanted my marriage to play out," she said.
"Amelia, I know it's hard. Dealing with a baby and helping your husband with his injuries.." Cora started, before Amelia cut her off.
"Do you? Do you really know what it's like? Because I don't think you do."
"Mia do you want to step outside?" Chris asked, as his wife trembled in her seat.
"No. I don't. I am so sick of people trying to make me feel like I can't handle this! First my parents and my sister and now I have a shrink questioning what I signed up for when I married you, whatever the hell that means, and I can't stand it!" she shouted.
She then turned and looked at Cora, "I took a vow when I married Chris. In sickness and health. Not "Until you become a victim of a freak alien attack and you had no control over and now you need to use a wheelchair". He could have any lungworm and I still wouldn't leave him!"
"Amelia I didn't m-" Cora started.
"It's hard. Yes and why shouldn't it be? When Doctor McCoy explained what happened I knew it would be a long road. Unfortunately this happened right after we had our baby, but I think I've handled everything quite well in the last six months," Amelia snapped.
Cora nodded, glancing down at the pad in her lap. "Alright. Moving on," she said, skimming her notes. "When was the last time you and Chris had an intimate session?" she asked.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Amelia asked with a scoff. She then turned to Chris, "What is going on here?" she asked.
"Amelia, she is just asking a question," he said, trying to calm her down.
Cora leaned forward in her seat, "It's just a question. The answers to these questions wont leave the room if that's what you're worried about," she said.
With a bitter laugh, Amelia shook her head at looked up at the ceiling. "Let's see, the last time I fucked my husband was two days before I pushed out a baby. So nearly seven months?"
"Jesus Amelia.." Chris groaned, covering his face with his hands.
"And is that a personal choice?" Cora asked.
Amelia stared at her, "I had a baby. It was a difficult labor and he practically ripped me apart. It took two months to recover instead of the six to seven weeks. Would you like me to send you my medical record?" she asked.
Chris sighed, "I think that's enough for today," he said.
Cora agreed and they said their goodbyes and went out to the car. The drive back to the house was silent and Chris debated on even starting a conversation. Amelia helped him out of the car and into the house before disappearing into the study. Chris was checking the answering machine when he heard Amelia shouting down the hall.
"McCoy so help me god, I could KILL you right now!"
Ten minutes later, Amelia returned from the office and announced that she would make lunch. Chris wheeled into the kitchen a few minutes later and watched as she sliced tomatoes with such force, which worried Chris.
"Any harder and the knife will go right through the cutting board," he said, as she stood with her back towards him.
She remained silent and continued slicing with said force, before grabbing the next victim from the dish.
"Mia, I'm sorry," he said.
Amelia set the knife down onto the counter, her head bowed down. "Do you really think that I hate this life? That I'm.. mad at you because of what happened?" she asked softly.
Chris sighed, "Sometimes I think I disappoint you," he said.
Amelia turned around to look at him, "You don't. And you never did."
"I'm the reason why you had to leave work. And why you have to depend on others to watch the baby when I can't," he said.
Making her way over to the table, Amelia pulled out a chair and sat down. "Sometimes it's nice having a helping hand, Chris. I don't mind having your sister helping out. Or your friends from work," she said.
"Dammit Mia. I can't stand it!" he snapped. "The looks and the sympathy that they give me. I'm a crippled man who can't do a damn thing! Can't play with my son and I can't please my wife,"
Amelia shook her head, "But you can! You make it sound like you'll be stuck in this chair forever! And you will if you keep thinking like that, Chris. You're improving so much and the doctors were taken by surprise when you regained feeling six weeks after you came home," she said.
Chris looked up at her and she sighed, reaching out to place her hand on his cheek. "Whatever the outcome is, I don't care. I love you and I'm not leaving you. You're my husband and the father of my son," she said softly, as tears filled her eyes.
He reached up and laid his hand against hers, "Even if I can't keep it up?" he asked, making her laugh.
"God, what is with you men and sex? I didn't marry you for sex and I don't care if we never have it again," she said, shaking her head.
Amelia sighed, "We can find ways around it, Chris. I'm not in any rush to jump your bones."
Chris sighed, "I'm sorry if I made you think that I doubted your feelings," he said.
"I'll just have to remind you everyday then," she said, before standing up.
Leaning over, Amelia kissed him gently. "Do you want me to stop seeing Cora?" he asked, when she pulled away.
Amelia shrugged, "It's up to you. I can't force you to make a choice, but I want you to talk to me. We're in this together, Chris. I can help you with healing and getting through this. Have a little faith in me," she begged.
He nodded, "I will," he promised, before kissing her again.