"Benny I want a divorce." "Happy Anniversary! Hold on what?" "I want a divorce." "No you don't." "Ben…" "Why would you want a divorce?" "Because Ben, I want to try new experiences." "New experiences? New experiences! Why not trying to experience our 12th anniversary?" "Ben I want to try other things. Like threesomes, orgies, lesbian sex. I want to see a man have sex with another man." "Are you serious? Those are the experiences! Watch some damn porn for all that!" "Benny don't get hysterical." "Don't get hysterical! My wife wants a divorce because she wants to go on a 50 shades of grey adventure!" "It's not just that Ben." "Then what is it then." "I'm not excited." "You're not excited. Why are you not excited?" "Well I don't feel the excitement in our marriage. (Benny just stares at her blankly) Like when we got married, I felt excited. When we had the kids, I felt excited. When we made love for the 1st time, I felt excited. Our very 1st anniversary, so much excitement, everything was exciting. But now everything seems like a routine." "That's what marriage is!" (Benny starts to cry) "Benny don't cry. That's making this harder." "The love of my life, the only girlfriend I ever dated, and my wife wants a divorce because she wants to experience the 50 shades of grey. And you expect me not to cry." "Well no. (Benny looks at her with frustration) All you have to do is sign right here and we won't have to take this to court." "Wow you're a bigger jerk than I thought." "Don't be like that Ben." "So you want child support and alimony." "No alimony, just the house and child support." "Well aren't I lucky." "The kids spend Monday through Thursday with me— "I see that here." "Ok I'll let you look through that. (Benny continues to look at the papers) Benjamin, I know you want me to be happy. The same way I would want you to be happy. (Benny deeply sighs and still looks at the papers) Fine, I'll leave you alone." (She leaves the room and Benny signs the papers) "There's your divorce. I hope whatever you looking for breaks your heart too."