Author: Kipling Bunny PM
Diana accompanies Bruce to an appointment.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Bruce W./Batman & Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman - Words: 2,694 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 11 - Published: 06-21-12 - id: 8240874
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I am super addicted to writing BMWW oneshots, if you couldn't tell. This has been unbeta'd due to the fact that I sent my beta a very large chapter, and I thought I would be kind. :)
Thanks for reading!
"You really didn't have to come with me," Bruce said as he pulled his Bugatti into a parking spot.
The woman beside him waved her hand dismissively. "Nonsense, I wanted to come."
"But I'm warning you, it won't be that exciting."
"Bruce, it is my first time seeing a real dentist in action, how is that not exciting?" She asked as they exited the car. Thankfully Diana had no idea how crazy she sounded. Poor Amazons really had it bad when it came to the entertainment department.
Bruce shrugged. "Ok, but you'll see what I mean."
The two walked hand-in-hand in the soft morning sunlight towards the looming building that held Dr Sifferman's office. The dentist had been in Bruce's life for as long as he could remember, with the senior Dr Sifferman being his parent's dentist as well. Ironically, Bruce had been only blocks away several hours ago, breaking up a massive street fight that involved two warring gangs. One very lucky punk got one very lucky break as he had hit Batman across the face with a two-by-four during the ruckus.
It had been the one and only time Batman took a hit last night, but the blow to the jaw had been hard enough to crack a molar (the kid who managed to make contact with his face hadn't been so fortunate). In times past, Bruce would have managed to seal the crack himself, but this time, with the aid of an x-ray, the fracture ran deep into the root. Thus this prompted him to call his dentist, who was oh-so happy to make room for him on the morning's schedule.
Once Diana caught wind of this, she was on board and wanting to tag along. Now she strolled merrily at his side, as he inwardly fought a small bout of anxiety.
The Batman was afraid of nothing. He had the arsenal and advantage to take care of point blank bullets, fear toxins and vicious guard dogs; nothing Gotham threw at him instilled fear. On the other end of the spectrum, the Billionaire Playboy was possibly afraid of bad parties, poor stock reports and illegitimate children. But when it came down to the real Bruce, the Bruce who wasn't hiding behind either mask, his fears were normal. As a child he had feared bats, but he used that fear to guide him down a warpath of vengeance. Many years ago he had been afraid of running a Fortune 500 Company, but now he was so proficient at it, he could practically manage it as he slept. Considering his sleep schedule, or lack thereof, he literally did. And to be noted, fairly, his most current yet substantial fear included Diana and any notion she would leave him.
But the one fear that Bruce could not shake after all these years? The one that was the most embarrassing above all? Yes, as cliched as it was, he was afraid of dentists.
Bruce and Diana walked nonchalantly into the lobby of the extravagant high-rise, earning stares of admiration from on-lookers. Bruce walked to the elevator, Diana in tow. He hit the up button and the doors lazily glided open. Once they were inside, the real challenge begin. Now he had to push the correct floor.
Bruce held his pointer figure close to the numbered button, the second to the top floor, and paused, staring at it. Just push it. Push. It.
"Are you alright?" Diana asked, clearly wondering why, of all people, Bruce was having trouble operating an elevator. This prompted him to lean into the button, allowing the doors to slide closed.
He nodded. "Never better."
She wasn't dumb. She looked at him squarely in the face. "Are you... nervous?"
This made him stand up straighter and vehemently shake his head. "No!" He laughed. "Why would I be nervous?"
"Your heart rate increased and you're starting to perspire. Tell-tale signs of distress."
Damn her hearing. Ok, so her ears weren't as attuned as Kent's, but they were definitely closer to the super-human side then not.
Bruce shook his head again and took her hand. "My heart always beats faster when I'm with you." He leaned into capture her lips with his, and he succeeded. Diana left a sweet, tingling kiss on his mouth as she pulled away.
"That was the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say, Mr Wayne. But thanks, you're sweet."
Hopefully that would subside her.
Their ride up to the 31st floor was over as the doors dinged open, revealing a simple yet lavish dental office. The waiting room was adorned with modern art, contemporary leather furniture and mood lighting. A brass-plated sign indicated their arrival at Dr Seymour Sifferman's office and the two shuffled in, heading for the receptionist desk.
The girl at the desk greeted Bruce warmly; his over-all presence made all straight (and perhaps some not) females in the general area swoon, and she was no exception. Usually when Bruce was with a female companion, other women would treat them poorly, vying for his attention. But one plus about dating Wonder Woman: she was well-liked by everyone. Even competing girls. Another plus about Diana? She also automatically made him more likable.
Thankfully Stacy the receptionist was professional on all counts. She handed over a clipboard and a pen. "Please take a seat and fill this out, Mr Wayne. Dr Sifferman should be ready in about ten minutes."
Stacy turned her attention to the other woman in the room. "Oh and Wonder Woman," she now smiled shyly, "could I please get your autograph for my little sister?"
Little sister? Bruce thought. Stacy was probably going to take it home and add it to her own personal Wonder Woman shrine.
After obliging and making small talk with the girl, Diana took a seat next to him in the waiting area. "She was really nice. So what are you doing exactly?"
Bruce paused, pen in hand. "Medical questionnaire and a waiver." He wrote a few notes on it and moved down the list. "Let's see... Do I have heart problems? Only when I'm with Amazons." Diana snickered. He continued, "Am I pregnant? ..Maybe. Do I have a super-hot girlfriend? Why yes, yes I do." This now made her laugh.
"It doesn't say that."
Bruce looked over at her. "It should. They can be bad for your health and highly addicting."
Diana leaned in closer, he could feel breath on his neck. "I know you're lying."
His eyebrow raised and he smirked. "About you being addicting?"
"About you being nervous."
He frowned and gripped his clipboard harder than he should have. Instead of answering, he shrugged it off, and he placed his medical questionnaire down and reached for the closest magazine he could get his hands on. It was a fairly new issue of National Geographic. Figuring serene pictures of animals and nature could calm him, he opened it up. Apparently it was a special issue on rural tribes in Africa. Absolutely everyone in the picture was topless.
Nope. That was not helping.
Bruce put the magazine down and as soon as he reached for an US Weekly, the door between the dentist's lair and the waiting room burst open, revealing Stacy and possibly a dental assistant.
"Dr Sifferman will see you now, Mr Wayne."
He took a half-second too long to respond prompting Diana to grab his clipboard and help him out of his chair. Soon Bruce found himself walking down the hall, nearing ever closer...
I am the goddamn Batman. I am the goddamn Batman. I am the goddamn Batman.
Diana on the other hand, looked like a kid in a candy store. For some odd reason, anything and everything fascinated her about Man's World, and a dental office was no exception. Bruce thought she was crazy. Just as Bruce's upbringing had made him an oddity, her upbringing made her one as well.
Sometimes the fact of how compatible they were rang like a bell in his mind. But unfortunately, his mind was preoccupied.
The dental assistant led them to a decent sized room equipped with a large, white dental chair and rows upon rows of sterile metal.
"I need to take an x-ray, Mr Wayne," the dental assistant said. She ushered him into a chair and placed a lead apron over him. Next she aligned the x-ray tube with his cheek.
Diana, meanwhile, was trying not to laugh. Apparently the scene before her was hilarious; seeing the ever unflappable Bruce Wayne lounging in a dental chair like sad puppy wasn't something you saw every day.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he said, glaring at Diana.
Bruce practically saw the light bulb above her head. She reached into her pocket and fished out the iPhone he had given to her. "Smile!"
If that picture somehow found its way to Wally, hell was going to break loose. Apparently Diana was now texting the picture to someone. DAMMIT.
The dental assistant came over, and pulled Diana out of the room, citing a paragraph about ill-effects of radiation and how Bruce should be the only one receiving it. Then Diana and the assistant broke out into conversation about how Diana probably didn't need to worry about it, but it was better to be safe than sorry... blah blah blah.
After the picture had been taken and the lead apron was nowhere in sight, a slightly graying, 50-something man in scrubs marched into the room. Dr Sifferman at once greeted Bruce and then took in the sight of Diana. Despite the fact that Diana was not in her full costume, she still looked as regal as ever. Even in white cotton shorts and a plain t-shirt.
"Wonder Woman! It's great to meet you! Though I had not expected it to be here of all places." He gave her a charming smile. Wonder Woman could charm the pants off of anyone.
"Thank you, I am happy to be here, doctor."
Bruce rolled his eyes at their interchange.
Dr Sifferman took a seat beside Bruce and looked at him intently. "Are you comfortable? If I re-call last time..." Last time Bruce almost hyperventilated and required a blanket and pillow and for the tv to be switched from CNN to Mr Rogers' Neighborhood.
"No, I'm fine!" Bruce interjected. He didn't want to look weak in front of Diana.
He stole quick glance at her as the assistant placed a bib across his chest. The assistant next pulled over a varying array of sharp utensils. Bruce swallowed hard.
Dr Sifferman was studying the x-ray that had been taken. "Hm, looks like quite the fracture on number 29, occlusal mesial." He then looked over a Bruce and pointed to his jaw with a gloved hand. "And I see some bruising. What happened?"
Bruce recalled to mind the two-by-four breaking in half. Thankfully his cowl protected the majority of his face, but the partially exposed area hadn't been so lucky.
"Oh, you know," Bruce started, giving the doctor a sly grin, "my girlfriend's an Amazon..." Bruce had a bad habit of becoming a cad when he was reacting to something uncomfortable.
He watched Diana narrow her eyes at him and cross her arms in front of her chest. "Bruce, there's nothing to be ashamed of."
His eyes widened as he wondered what else was going to tumble out of her mouth.
Diana smiled at the doctor. "Long-range shooting. The butt of the rifle kicked back. He's somewhat embarrassed." Now Bruce's eyes widened in shock. Since when had she become so good at lying? Though, the more he thought about it, what she said sounded like a Myth Busters episode she had recently watched.
Dr Sifferman laughed. "Oh, poor Bruce here can't handle his guns."
With that, the doctor placed a mask over his face and pulled over another collection of sharp, pointy objects. Bruce knew full well what they were. High and low speed drills. Fiber-optic lights. Diamond filaments and drill bits. It was probably a good thing that the Joker never desired to 'fix' any ones teeth, for he could only imagine what horrible nightmares would plague him.
The assistant, who apparently was named Ashley, gave Bruce some shades as he was lowered into a reclining position, a bright light now shining over his mouth. Diana was watching this take place as if it were the most exciting thing she had laid eyes on. He was also surprised the doctor hadn't kicked Diana out of the room by now, but then again, kicking Diana out of anything was a near impossible task.
Bruce opened his mouth and felt a cool analgesic being placed upon his lower right molars. The doctor waited a couple of minutes to let it set before pulling out a large aspirating syringe filled with novocain. Bruce gripped the armrests harder than needed, and this hadn't missed Diana either. Concern for him was etched upon her features; she looked as though she wanted to save him. Scoop him out of the chair and fly them out to safety. He reminded himself to kiss her senseless when the feeling in his mouth returned.
After half of his face was numb and felt like it was going to fall onto the floor, the doctor pulled out a high speed drill while the assistant pulled his cheek back. The squeal of the drilling made Bruce's spine quiver as he white knuckled the arm rests. After a few minutes crawled by, Dr Sifferman stopped to replace his drill and had Ashley pack Bruce's cheek with cotton.
"So Wonder Woman," Dr Sifferman asked, "who is your dentist?" Oh great, now he was trying to up sell Diana. Like she needed a dentist, her teeth her the epitome of perfection. He felt he need to remind him that.
"'Er 'eef are 'ine!" Bruce managed to spit out. "E oes-ent 'eed a entis..." (Translation: Her teeth are fine. She doesn't need a dentist)
"Bruce, please refrain from talking."
Diana shook her head. "I don't have one. I've never had one." The idea of a female dentist on Themyscira complete with battle axes and swords would have made Bruce chuckle in the right circumstances. However, the dentist and assistant exchanged glances as if Diana had just confessed to an unforgivable sin.
"Well, perhaps we get can you in for an exam soon," the doctor responded. Ashley was already taking a note in the computer beside her to add Diana to the schedule for next week.
"O, uugh ee oen' af oo!" (?)
The doctor, ignoring Bruce, pulled out a lower-powered drill. At least the squealing had subsided. After fifteen excruciatingly long minutes, the doctor packed Bruce's tooth with gutta percha and set him up for a temporary crown. Bruce inwardly groaned, temporary meant he had to come back.
Finally it was over. Bruce, like Frankenstein rising from his surgical table, was raised into a sitting position. Diana smiled at him. He must've looked like a chipmunk.
Diana kissed him on his nose. "You are adorable." Great, now he was an adorable chipmunk.
After the doctor and Bruce parted ways, the assistant led Bruce and Diana back to the waiting room. After everything had been taken care of at the front desk, Bruce was off, waiting for Diana in the elevator, ready to hit the lobby and get out. Once she finally strolled in, he spied a piece of paper in her hand.
"I have an appointment!"