A/N: Reposting this story. :)

UNCONDITIONAL BUT DYSFUNCTIONAL LOVE

"Oh my God!" Nancy Hicks screamed and jumped up onto a chair of her apartment. "A rat!"

Nancy was 23 years old, fresh out of college and had just started her career as a weather woman. Right now she was just a nighttime weekend girl. But she was a determined, independent, competitive woman and she just knew that someday she was going to get that job full time. But there was one thing she did not like, and that was rats. And not just the little furry things. Men, too. She'd been with so many men that had screwed her over, had cheated on her, or just made her sick. She had yet to find that one special guy that really and truly cared. Most guys she'd been with took advantage of her (because she was very pretty). They said that they loved her, but they didn't really. They just got what they wanted and when she wanted to talk, they didn't listen.

Nancy didn't like to admit it, but she was needy. She needed a man, someone to love her. But what kind of woman didn't? But she was tired of being with such rats. She needed to find the one. But right now, she needed to get rid of that furry rat in her apartment.

She ran over to the phone and looked up an exterminator. The only one near her was a service called Dales Dead Bug. She quickly dialed the number.

"Dale's Dead Bug," a man answered.

"Hi. Um…I have a rat in my apartment."

"Okay."

"Can you do something about that?" she asked stupidly.

"Well, of course I can! I'm an exterminator, aren't I?"

"Sorry…Are you free today?"

"Are you trying to ask me on a date? Heh heh…"

"No! Are you gonna come kill this rat or not?"

"Where do you live? I can't very well do my stuff if I don't know where you are."

"The Arlen City Apartments."

"Well, well, well. A city girl, huh?"

"I'm a weather girl for channel 84," she said proudly.

"So? What's your apartment number?"

"3B."

"Okay. I'll be over there soon."

"How soon?"

"Let me check my schedule…I'm a very busy exterminator, you know…" He paused for a moment and then "Oh. I guess I can squeeze you in…now," he said sheepishly.

"Great! I'll be waiting."

It wasn't 10 minutes later, that there was a knock at her apartment door. She had been standing on that chair again, but she rushed over to answer the door.

"Hi. I'm Dale Gribble, from Dale's Dead Bug. You might want to clear out of the house if you know what's good for you."

She was taken aback by his forwardness. "Oh…Um…why? Will it be dangerous?"

"Yes…I will be using highly toxic poisons. Very dangerous stuff. I'd get out if you know what's good for you. Wouldn't want a pretty lady like you getting hurt from this stuff."

"Oh," she blushed. "Why thank you." She looked the man over. He was actually kind of cute. She smiled.

"Are you just going to stand there and gush over my hot physique or are you going to get out of the way?" he asked.

"Oh. Sorry, shug," she chuckled.

"Shug?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I call everyone that."

"Oh. Okay. Well I'm gonna get to work now." He pulled out his poison.

"Are you not going to wear a mask?" she looked a little horrified.

"What do I need a mask for?"

She gasped in horror.

"You're gonna need to stand back, lady."

"I have a name!" she protested unnecessarily.

"Well what is it? You never told me," he looked a little irritated.

"It's Nancy Hicks."

"Okay, Nancy. Stand back please or you're gonna get sick from this poison."

"Okay, shug," she smiled and stepped back and into the other room.

What made me want him to say my name? Hm… she thought to herself. But he's really good looking…

Dale came in the room she was standing in shortly and said, "He's gone."

"Already?" she looked surprised. "Wow! That was fast!"

"I'm that good!"

"Yes you are…" she smiled.

"Well, um…I'll send you the bill. Bye." He just walked away headed out of the house.

Nancy watched as he left. She couldn't just let him get away. What if he was the one? She quickly scribbled her number on a piece of paper and ran over to him, catching him right before he walked out the door.

"Um…here's my number," she said nonchalantly, and handed him the piece of paper.

"Uh…Okay," he took it and left, shutting the door behind him.

Nancy sighed. Well, it was a start. And if he never called her, she had his number.

She waited and waited and he never called her once. Too busy, maybe. So she called him again.

"Dale's Dead Bug."

"Hi. This is Nancy Hicks. I think that rat must've had a mate 'cause there's another in my apartment!"

"Oh…I'll be over in a bit, okay?"

"Alright," she smiled.

But when Dale came over, obviously he found no rat. He was bent over, looking around the floor on her apartment.

"There's no rat in here, ma'am…"

"Oh, just keep looking," Nancy said, eyeing his rear.

Finally, he stood up slowly, looking over his shoulder. "Were you checking me out?" he asked, amused.

Nancy blushed and then sighed. "There is no rat."

"I kind of figured that…" he walked over towards her. "I'm still going to have to charge you."

"Fine. It'll be worth it…" She stepped closer to him and Dale started looking around in a panic. She literally took his cigarette out of his mouth, dropped it on her carpet and stepped on it. "You know, smoking's bad for you…"

"Nah…" She then planted a kiss on him. His eyes widened, but he actually kissed her back. It's like he'd been put under a spell, and plus, when he was in that kind of situation, he just let it be, because he scarcely got any woman.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked.

"Uh…maybe a little one."

Nancy ignored the "little" part. When she was through with him, he was pretty drunk and they ended up in bed together. The next morning however, Dale had darted. Either he was scared or had to go to work. She couldn't let him get away though. What if he was the one? He was a dang good kisser and not too shabby in bed either. She'd seen better, but there was something about Mr. Gribble…

She tried to call him later, but he didn't answer. She left a message. "Dale, it's Nancy Hicks. If apologies are in order, then I'm sorry about last night. I'd like another chance…"

Who in their right mind would give her another chance after what she did? She was starting to feel bad.

Dale actually came by that same day after work.

"Hi Nancy."

"Dale, come inside."

He walked in and she started trying to apologize, but Dale put his hand up. "No, don't apologize. If I would've opened my eyes, I would've realized that I should've asked you on a date already. Then you wouldn't have had to do all that…"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, so do you want to go on a date with me?"

"Well, sure, shug," she smiled.

"Awesome…So um…when do you want to go?"

"Now?"

"Fine with me. Heh heh…Where do you want to go?"

"Well it is dinner time, so I guess out to eat?"

"Well to tell you the truth, I don't have a lot of money…" he said embarrassed.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I'll pay."

"I feel bad for that…"

"It's fine."

So they went out to a decently nice restaurant in town and talked over dinner. They got to know each other a little more. Nancy was a weather girl, an independent, confident, competitive 23 year old. Dale was an exterminator and proud of it, a paranoid, gun fanatic, chain smoker. They were the total opposite, they found, but they did say that opposites attract.

The more Nancy looked at Dale, she found that he was more than a little cute. Back in that time, Dale had more hair, but he still wore his cap and his shades, of course. And take away the bags under the eyes and the forming wrinkles, add a little more makeup, and make her a little thinner (if that's possible) and you've got Nancy the 23 year old.

After dinner, they went back to Nancy's apartment for a while. They sat on her couch in her living room. "You know, you're different than any other guy I've met so far," Nancy noted aloud.

"How so?"

"Well, most guys would've already tried to get into my pants by now."

"Well, something's making me want to wait…for the right moment, you know."

Nancy smiled. "Thanks, shug." He slipped his arm around her, making her smile bigger and she cuddled close to him. Maybe he was the one…

Dale smiled at her and resisted the urge to lean over and kiss her. He didn't want to go too fast. He didn't want to upset her. He wanted it to be perfect…But he couldn't resist telling her this:

"You know, you're really beautiful…"

Nancy looked up at him and smiled. "Thanks, shug." Most guys had called her "hot" but none had yet actually called her "beautiful." It felt nice.

And even though Nancy had told him that she called everyone "shug," it still made Dale feel good when she said it.

"And you know something else?"

"What?"

"I'm really glad a rat came into your apartment."

"So am I," she smiled.

"Um…I would say I would drive you home, but you already are home…heh heh…So I'll drive myself home. I'll call you, I guess."

"Okay, shug."

He smiled and made his way to the door. As he was walking to his bug-a-bego, he thought to himself, "Next time, I'll hold her hand…I can't let this one get away, because…I hate to think something like this so soon, but I think I might be in love…Better not tell the guys that…they'll only make fun of me…But Hank's married already to that Peggy Platter. He might understand. And Bill has Lenore. Maybe they won't make fun of me…"

Nancy was still sitting on the couch sighing contentedly. "Dale might be a little strange, but I think I'm in love…People say that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but I'll be danged if it's not true…I better not tell my friends, though…They'll make fun of me for liking such a weirdo. They'll say he doesn't make enough money. But heck, I make enough money for both of us," she chuckled. "Well, I will someday…When I get that full time post as weather girl…"

Nancy couldn't resist telling her best friend Marie about Dale and sure enough, her friend's reaction was what she expected, but not what she wanted.

"Ew! Dale Gribble? He's so freaking weird, Nancy! Why would you even think about dating him?"

"Because I think I love him, shug…"

"You? Nancy? Liking a chain smoking freakazoid that hardly makes a living?"

"Dale might be a little strange, but he's a good man…I think he might be the one."

"Well, whatever floats your boat, hon…"

"Well, Dale most definitely floats my boat, shug…" she smiled.

Dale was telling his friends about the same time Nancy was telling hers.

"Nancy Hicks?" Hank asked. "I don't think I know her…" he scratched his head.

"She didn't go to school with us, Hank, so I don't think any of us know her…"

"Dang ol' Nancy Hicks…" Boomhauer muttered. "Oh yeah, she dang ol' sure gets around…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"She's been with every guy that I know besides you guys, of course. Her relationships don't last very long, though."

"That's because they screwed her over. All they wanted was sex."

"What's wrong with dang ol' sex, man?" Boomhauer asked innocently.

"Nothing's wrong with it, but the women want more than just that…They want to be loved…"

"Well, by danged…I think Dale's dang ol' got the love bug or something…"

"He's certainly got a funny look in his eyes," Hank added.

"Yeah," Bill laughed. "I think Dale's in love."

"Now don't make fun of me, guys. You two are married to someone you love," he pointed to Hank and Bill.

"We're not making fun of you, Dale," Hank said. "We're happy for you. Congratulations, Dale. When's the wedding?"

"Wedding? Um…I don't know…That's moving a little too fast, isn't it?"

"Well, you love her don't you?" Bill asked.

"Yes…But…Hank, how long did you wait to ask Peggy to marry you?"

"2 years…"

"Well I'm not waiting that long, but I'll wait. She'll be worth the wait. I'm going to take this one step at a time."

"Atta boy," Hank slapped his back.

"I tell you what, man," Boomhauer said. "You'll dang ol' get bored with her if you get tied down to that marriage junk…It's crazy man. Things will never dang ol' be the same…Talking about no more sex and just dang boring, man…You're better off not…"

"What would you know, Boomhauer?" Hank said. "You've never loved a woman."

"Don't need to…"

Dale called Nancy the next night.

"Hello?"

"Hi Nancy…"

"Oh, hello Dale. I'm glad you called."

"I'm glad you answered…that didn't sound cheesy, did it?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, shug. Don't worry about what I think. Do you want to come over?"

"Yes…I'll be over in a bit, okay?"

When Dale arrived, he said, "These are for you," and handed her a bouquet of roses from behind his back.

"Oh, Dale! How thoughtful," she smiled, took them, and went to put them in some water.

"So what have you been up to today?"

"Oh, just the usual…Nothing really. My job isn't until the weekends," she looked down a little sadly.

"Oh, Nancy. I think someday you'll get that job fulltime. They have no excuse. Who wouldn't someone so beautiful on the screen more often?"

She blushed and he grinned.

"So what have you been up to, Mr. Exterminator?"

"Oh…exterminating…"

They laughed and headed over to the couch. As they were walking into the living room, Dale slipped his hand into hers, sending chills up her spine. She smiled up at him. She had never had a man like Dale. All they ever wanted was sex. They never even bothered holding her hand once…

They were still holding hands as they sat on the couch.
"This feels nice," Nancy said, smiling.

"Yes, it does, doesn't it? And I just want you to know that I've never felt this way about any other woman before."

"I've never felt this way about any other man, either, shug…"

"Well that's one thing we've got in common, then," Dale chuckled.

"We are very different, shug."

"That's what makes us so compatible. Where I have faults, you fill in the holes and when you fall back, I help you up."

"And you'll smoke your cigarettes and I'll tell you to quit."

"And I won't quit," he laughed. She pursed her lips. "What? You know how hard it is to quit smoking?"

"I know, shug…You just smoke if you want to. I don't mind one bit," she smiled and he grinned back.

Dale was really having to try hard to resist kissing her, and all the while Nancy was actually waiting for him to kiss her. But he didn't want to be just one of those guys that she had been with. He wanted to be the guy that she'd been with. Hopefully the guy that she'll be with forever.

He was seriously trying to take things one step at a time, slowly, for her. He didn't want to be selfish. He wanted to please her. He had held off kissing her that night, but the next time, he would.

When they went to her apartment after their 3rd date, Dale waited for the right moment and leaned over and kissed Nancy. He was enjoying it so much, that he proceeded to put his hands at her waist and pull her closer. She didn't object to this. Then he started, not thinking, to pull her shirt off slowly, but coming to his senses, he stopped himself. He pulled away from her and sat back.

She kind of had a longing look on her face. "What's wrong, shug?"

"Nothing," he mumbled. "I was going too fast…being selfish…"

"Shug, the timing was right. I was ready."

"Well, it just seems dumb now," he huffed, arms crossed.

She kind of chuckled at this, but then straightened up and said honestly, "I really appreciate what you're doing, shug. Going slow, for me," she smiled.

"Well, I just don't want to lose you…" he trailed off, looking away.

"I'm not going anywhere, Dale."

"I'm glad for that," he turned around to face her and then they embraced each other and hugged.

Dale and Nancy dated for several more months, only progressing further in their love for each other. Dale felt a strong urge to protect Nancy and she always turned to him for support. Dale felt like he'd waited long enough, so one day when they were lounging on her couch (him sitting and her lying with her head in his lap), he tried to start off awkwardly. "Nancy…" he said.

"Yeah, shug?"

"I love you…"

"I love you, too shug," she looked up at him and smiled.

"I hope we're together forever…"

"So do I, shug…"

"Well, um…" he started digging in his pocket. "Hold on…"

"Dale, what are you doing?" she turned and looked up at him. He was still rummaging in his pocket and finally he said, "Ah ha!" and jumped off the couch, pushing Nancy out of the way and onto the floor. "Oh, sorry, honey…" he said, helping her back up.

"It's alright, Dale, but what is this about?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"This," he said, getting on one knee and opening the box that had come out of his pocket, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring. "Will you marry me, Nancy?"

Nancy was so in shock, but when she came to her senses, she said, "Yes, Dale! I will!" He stood up and they hugged, Nancy all teary eyed. Then she stood back and said, "But how on earth did you pay for this, Dale?" she said, admiring the ring now on her finger.

"That's not important," he said quickly. The truth was they'd be making payments on that ring for a while. "Hey, let's get married right away!"

"Dale, we've got to plan this. We can't just jump up and do it."

"Oh…"