Author: SaveTheRose PM
Regrets are at the endRated: Fiction T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - A. Usami & Misaki T. - Words: 675 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 06-23-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8247624
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
My whole life, I swore that I would protect him. I am such a failure. How can I be too busy not to know how he was? I thought I'll always be there to protect him. But I didn't.
If only I hadn't been so selfish, maybe this never would have happened. But it's too late. You can never bring back what happened in the past. Why did he have to go so soon? He's too young. He's still a baby. He's my baby.
Maybe I didn't say "I love you" that much to save him? Goddamn it. Why does it have to be him? Is this what I get for being a selfish person? I lose the one person that I value so much? Kill me now, so that I can be with him. Kill me. I want to be with him, always.
On that night, I got mad at him. I didn't tell him that I love him. But instead, I yelled at him for the first time. I regret everything I did. I never thought that, on that day, I would lose him. I promised him I would never get mad at him, but I broke another promise to him. I let my anger out by driving crazy. Too fast that I didn't know where I was going and what I was passing through.
When he told me "I love you" for the first time, fully and without me forcing him, I never thought it would be the last.
I told him that I'd never cry after the night I first kissed him. But I couldn't help it. It's too much, the pain. It's bringing my whole system down. It's like I'm already dead.
Junjou Romantica. Pure. He was so pure. I wasn't. How can I write another novel if my only inspiration is gone. He'll never come back. Its over.
I'm suppose to be dead.
Why am I alive?
Please, kill me now.
I want to be with him.
In heaven or hell.
Why did he have to go? He left me alone. I can't ask him why, because I know he won't answer back. My heart can't take this anymore.
If only I could go back in time. I would stop myself from that accident. He would still be alive. He'll be right here, beside me. But I can't. There's no way.
Today is the day where we all wear black in front of him. I see him lying down there, peacefully. I remember him like this. But during those moments, he was still alive. Tears fall down from my eyes, as I remember the moments when we were together.
He told me that he loved me. That is enough for me. Knowing that he loves me.
His parents died because of a car accident. He died also because of a car accident. Which car? My car. I killed him. I killed the only reason that I live for.
As I held him that night. Blood was all over. I told him that I'll get him to the hospital, but he didnt want to. He was already losing his breath. I couldn't help, but hold him and cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I told him. He looked at me for the last time that night. He spoke of words that made me fall.
"U- Usagi...san... suki da-" And then I lost him.
I kissed him for the last time. Begging him to go back. It's too late. I will miss the way he calls me a jerk. I will miss how he makes me so happy. I will never have anything compared to that ever again.I am in front of his body, right now. I kneel down, kiss his hands, his forehead and his lips.
"Misaki, I will always love you. Remember me in heaven."