|Maybe One Day
Author: BuffyPikeBike PM
Maybe one day Sam and Sharon will be reunited... An angsty yet hopeful Sam Gibson/Sharon Collins one shot I wrote sometime ago!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Sharon C. - Words: 1,809 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 06-24-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8253040
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A Sharon and Sam one shot I wrote awhile back. I miss these two together!
Maybe One Day
"Hey." That was all she could verbalize right then. There were so many conflicting emotions coursing throughout her body that she felt almost sagged down by the weight of them as she moved slowly and lethargically into his room. But as soon as she spotted the suitcase in the corner, she knew she had to speak up.
"I'm sorry," she said though that failed to communicate all that she was feeling.
Tears immediately pooled in her eyes, burning them, as he looked over at her. But she willed herself to hold them back for once.
"It's okay," Sam finally answered.
"No, no, it's really not, Sam," Sharon said, seeming to find her voice. "I've treated you like gum on my shoes for months and months and then the moment I am cleared of murder, the first thing I do is kiss Adam. That - all of it - was so wrong... Do you hate me? Cause honest to god I hate myself."
Sam shook his head, his voice even as he spoke. "I don't hate you, Sherry - Sharon." He sighed and ran a hand through his short tuft of wheat-blonde hair, his eyes moving heavenward for a moment. "I slip up sometimes. I forget Sherry didn't really exist."
"You know, I wish she did," Sharon murmured. "I want to be Sherry for you. So bad. I really, really do."
"Hey, you should just be who you are."
"I don't like who I am," Sharon admitted as the tears she had been holding back finally gave way. "I don't recognize myself anymore. I don't like this person I turned into."
Sam looked moved and humbled by her tears but remained standing across the room where she felt somehow she couldn't reach him. He was such an amazing man, a wonderful man, and she had treated him terribly when all he had ever done was care for her. She had lied to him and worse, she had let him believe she could be someone he truly deserved. She had wanted to be, but that simply wasn't the case. She had pushed him away again and again and she couldn't honestly blame him for leaving now.
Sam shook his head. "Well, Sharon, a lot of people liked you just the way you were. Just remember that and then fight for them. Your son and your daughter. Even Adam if he's the one who can put a real smile back on that pretty face of yours."
"He can't, Sam. Maybe no one can. I messed up way too many times. I know it. I hurt so many people like my children - and you. Adam's an obsession," Sharon said. "When I'm with him, I can forget all my responsibilities and push away all the thoughts of the way I've hurt people. But he's my Achilles heel in so many ways."
"And you're mine," Sam murmured in a voice so quiet she almost didn't hear him. But she had and the tears fell still faster.
"You cared about me once, Sam," she said as she dabbed at her moist face. "Maybe you could learn to care about me again - someday?" She sounded so much like a little girl desperate for affection and she hated it but she needed Sam. She wanted Sam. Not just because he made her feel appreciated and cared for but because sometimes when she was in his arms, she felt almost whole. And she loved him. It had taken hearing Victoria coldly informing her that Sam was leaving to wake Sharon up inside. She knew she didn't deserve another chance. But honestly, she wanted one.
"I didn't stop caring about you. I always will care about you and want what's best for you."
Sharon sniffled. "You're who is best for me."
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands and watch you rise
Sam shook his head. "I wish I could say that was true. Because you stole my heart the day I found you sleeping in the hay and you tried to run me through with the rake." He smiled a bit. "But that was ... Like a dream, Sharon. You already have a life here. You need to work hard to get it back."
"Don't go, Sam," Sharon pleaded. "Stay and let me show you how much you mean to me. Please."
"I wish I could but there are a lot of duties calling my name back home."
"That's such an excuse! You just want to get as far away from me as you possibly can."
"That's not true. But I do know deep in my soul that you staying here and rebuilding your life is what's for the best."
"For whom?" Sharon sniffled bitterly. "Maybe you're trying to be noble but -"
"I wish it was about being 'noble'," Sam said. "But it's not. It's about loving you enough to let you go and spread your wings."
Spread you wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly (Oooh)
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be, so spread your wings and fly
"Do you love me enough to stay?" Sharon asked as more tears slid down her face.
"Don't say that," Sam said. "I love you. I have since I met you. But you can't lean on me, Sharon. You're honestly never going to be happy until you are standing on your own two feet. As much as I want to be selfish and just take you in my arms and make love to you and promise you everything will be alright, I can't."
"Sam, I'm trying to pour my heart out to you here and you ... God, you're wonderful," Sharon cried.
Sam looked very moved by her admission and slowly closed the distance between them. She closed her eyes for a brief moment as she felt a whisper of a touch on her face as he began to dab at her tears with the pads of his warm, work-calloused fingertips.
"You're going to be alright, Sharon. Better than alright," he said in a hushed voice as she opened her eyes and really looked at him, really saw him and realized what he was trying to do. "You'll stand on your own two feet and won't need any man or anyone else to hold you up. Besides, there's that old saying applies here: This isn't goodbye. It's see you later."
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land
Sharon leaned into him. "You're really not leaving because I kissed Adam?"
Sam shook his head. "No. I am going because you need to find yourself and what kind of man would I be if I asked you to jeopardize your own chance to be everything you can be? You deserve to be proud of yourself, Sharon."
"You're breaking my heart," Sharon said and rested her tear-stained face in the crook of his neck for a moment. His hand found her back and massaged it lightly in small circles for a long moment.
"I never want to hurt you, Sharon. Its the very last thing I ever wanted."
"Sam, is there a chance? If one day I can come to you as a whole woman with her head held high and -"
"I don't need you to be anything but what you are, Sharon. I do need you to be happy though."
Sharon nodded. "You are truly an amazing man, Sam. You are the only man in my life who never betrayed me or hurt me, but only wanted what was best for me."
Sam leaned over and kissed her damp cheek. "I always will, always." He then slowly stepped away from her and went to retrieve his suitcase. "I have to get going." He then looked back at her. "Take care of yourself, Sharon, and if one day you see fit to come back to me, I'll be waiting."
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye (stand and say goodbye)
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Sharon nodded. "You take care of yourself too. Give Fanny a hug for me and don't forget that it gets cold in the desert so wear a jacket at nights when you're doing those three a.m. emergency vet visits... Oh and don't try to conquer the whole world all at once."
Sam smiled. "Same goes for you on that last part. Just take it one day at a time."
He offered her a wave and a smile and then to went to the door. He started to open it and then paused for a moment. He set down his suitcase on the ground and then walked back over to her, giving her a soft, sweet kiss on the lips. Then without another word, he had picked up his bag again and was gone.
As soon as he had walked out, Sharon sunk down onto the soft bed and cried. But for once, the tears weren't as sad and self-pitying as they were cathartic. Sam was right. She needed to be strong and start healing from the wounds of the past. She would get stronger too, she resolved, and be a good mother to her children and one day, maybe one day, she could be hold her head high and tell Sam she was now the woman he deserved in his life. And maybe one day, she could also be a woman who was proud of herself.
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be (you and I)
So spread your wings and fly (spread your wings and fly)
So flutter through the sky
Spread your wings and fly
FINIS ... for now...