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Caesar-DK

Calphurnia-Candy

Brutus-Diddy

Portia-Dixie

Antony-Funky

Cassius-Wrinkly

Casca-Lanky

Decius-Chunky

Lucius-Kiddy

Metellus-KAOS

Cinna-Red Kremling

Trebonius-Cthulu

Ligarius-Klubba

Publius-K. Lumsy

Artemidorus-Klump

Soothsayer from act I-Inka-Dinka-doo

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Act II, Scene IV

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Dixie and Kiddy enter.

Dixie: I prithee, boy, run to the senate house.

Stay not to answer me, but get thee gone.

Why dost thou stay?

Kiddy: To know my errand, madam.

Dixie: I would have had thee there and here again

Ere I can tell thee what thou shouldst do there.

—O constancy, be strong upon my side,

Set a huge mountain 'tween my heart and tongue!

I have a man's mind but a woman's might.

How hard it is for women to keep counsel!

—Art thou here yet?

Kiddy: Madam, what should I do?

Run to the Capitol, and nothing else?

And so return to you, and nothing else?

Dixie: Yes, bring me word, boy, if thy lord look well,

For he went sickly forth. And take good note

What DK doth, what suitors press to him.

Hark, boy! What noise is that?

Kiddy: I hear none, madam.

Dixie: Prithee, listen well.

I heard a bustling rumor like a fray,

And the wind brings it from the Capitol.

Kiddy: Sooth, madam, I hear nothing.

Inka-Dinka-Doo enters.

Dixie: Come hither, fellow. Which way hast thou been?

Inka-Dinka-Doo: At mine own house, good lady.

Dixie: What is 't o'clock?

IDD: About the ninth hour, lady.

Dixie: Is DK yet gone to the Capitol?

IDD: Madam, not yet. I go to take my stand

To see him pass on to the Capitol.

Dixie: Thou hast some suit to DK, hast thou not?

IDD: That I have, lady. If it will please DK

To be so good to DK as to hear me,

I shall beseech him to befriend himself.

Dixie: Why, know'st thou any harm's intended towards him?

IDD: None that I know will be; much that I fear may chance.

Good morrow to you. Here the street is narrow.

The throng that follows DK at the heels,

Of senators, of praetors, common suitors,

Will crowd a feeble man almost to death.

I'll get me to a place more void, and there

Speak to great DK as he comes along.

Inka-Dinka-Doo exits.

Dixie: I must go in. (aside) Ay me, how weak a thing

The heart of woman is! O Diddy,

The heavens speed thee in thine enterprise!

Sure, the boy heard me. (to Kiddy) Diddy hath a suit

That DK will not grant.—Oh, I grow faint.—

Run, Kiddy, and commend me to my lord.

Say I am merry. Come to me again,

And bring me word what he doth say to thee.

They exit in different directions.