|Those Tired Eyes
Author: darelyn porter PM
Ellie has trust issues. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her boyfriend killed her in the flesh, not to mention in the famous Los Angeles Murder House. Ten years of waiting, regret, and loneliness pass and new owners move in. The Langdons.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Tate L. - Chapters: 16 - Words: 29,947 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 09-30-12 - Published: 06-27-12 - id: 8262939
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A week had gone by. Tate was out at the movies with Addie and Constance was in her bedroom watching something on the television. Tate and I grew close. I still hadn't told him about my past, but he didn't mind. He didn't want to intrude on my personal life so he didn't want to push it. He told me all about himself. How his mother had eventually told him that his father left him because Constance was having an affair with another man. I cringed when he told me this, but I didn't tell him the truth. It was for the best that he didn't know.
It was around eleven o'clock at night. I was sitting in the living room watching some television myself. By this point I wasn't sneaky about it. Constance didn't care and she was very aware of all of the ghosts in the house. And Tate and I were close friends at this point so she respected me for that. I saw Addie walk into the room and wave at me.
"Where's Tate?" I asked.
"What? He came home a while ago. Some kids at the movie theater were giving him a hard time so he left." She said.
"What do you mean they were giving him a hard time?"
"Well, Tate doesn't have many friends at school … and these kids were really popular. Most of them think he's weird so they started making fun of him and he just left."
Why would he come home and not tell me?
I ran upstairs and bolted into his bedroom, but it was completely empty. I stood there in the piercing silence. Then I heard it. I slowly made my way out of the room and towards the bathroom. I turned at the knob, but it was locked.
I phased through the wall and my eyes widened in shock. He was kneeling on the ground with a razor blade in his hands, slowly cutting at his wrist. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was shaking. I became known and he jumped at the sight of me. I quickly reached down for the razor, but right before I could grab it he made one final vertical slash on his wrist. Blood poured out of him.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" I screamed. Tears fell from my eyes and I grabbed the razor and flushed it down the toilet. I was sobbing. This couldn't be happening. He fell from his knees and onto his back. I shook him but he only stared up at me with a twisted smile on his face. There was blood all over the floor and soon on my knees and clothes.
I grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding. He couldn't die in this house. He couldn't die at all. I tied it tight around his arm and I bolted out of the room. Constance was walking down the hall, "What is going on? I'm trying to sleep."
"Your son just tried to commit suicide." I yelled, running down the stairs for the phone. I quickly dialed 911.
"911 what is your emergency?"
"Yes, hi, my friend Tate, he- he's in the upstairs bathroom. He tried to commit suicide- please- he's bleeding and I need help. He can't die." I said quickly. I was losing it. Everything was happening so fast.
"Calm down, help is on the way. Do you want me to stay on" I cut her off when I hit end on the call. The ambulances seemed to be taking forever. I ran back upstairs to check on Tate. I kneeled next to him and hovered over his body. He titled his head a little and his eyes met with mine.
Before I could say anything, fire fighters burst into the room. They quickly set down a gurney and picked up Tate. They placed him on it gently. He started crying even harder. I knew he didn't want to be saved, but I had no choice. He couldn't die here in this house. It pained me to see him like this. They rolled him out of the room and down the stairs. I quickly followed down to the front gate where I watched him being hauled into the ambulance and off down the street.
I desperately wanted to follow. I wanted to go to the hospital with him and tell him everything was going to be alright. I was chained to this house. I couldn't take another step. I watched the red and blue lights disappear around a corner and the sound fade off into the distance of the night.
Knowing Tate's fate was eating away at my sanity. For weeks he hadn't been home. I never left his room. For comfort I wrapped myself in his sheets and waited. I listened to his music, I wore some of his shirts, and nothing seemed to take the edge off. If he had died he would have passed on. He would have been free of the chains that connected him to this house.
I heard the door squeak open and I shot up in the bed. I relaxed when I noticed it was Constance.
"He's been released soon. They just want to make sure he's stable. He's fine." She breathed. She sat down on the bed.
"Why did he do it?" I asked.
"Tate has always self harmed. He saw a therapist before we moved back in. I figured it would pass. It mostly has to do with the bullying at school. People find him different. They also tease him because of Addie. She's different, as you know, and some people don't quite accept that. He's very close with his sister. They judge him for it and don't understand. He doesn't know how to deal with it so he lets it out through hurting himself." She explained.
"He almost died." I whispered.
She nodded, but didn't respond.
"He cares about you. I'm glad he has you in his life." She said. I was surprised. Honestly I didn't think Constance had the ability to give a compliment without some sort of sarcastic remark afterward.
I smiled as she placed a hand on my shoulder and gave a weak smile as well before leaving the room.
The next morning I was making a pot of coffee for myself and Moira. Although I didn't know it was possible for ghosts, I had a headache. I sighed and leaned against the counter as I heard the pot fill. When it was done I turned to the cabinet and grabbed a cup. As I was filling it with the hot liquid I heard the door screech open. I flipped around and saw Tate.
I was at a loss for words. He looked tired and miserable. His eyes had dark circles around his eyes. I noticed the gauze wrapped around his wrists. He looked straight into my eyes, and I did the same to him.
We stood there in silence for what seemed like hours.
"Why?" I whispered.
He sighed and moved over closer to me.
"I thought I could deal with it. I thought I could deal with the bullying and the teasing. It's been eating away at me forever; ever since I can remember I've been teased; whether it be for how I dress or act, my looks, my sister, my crazy mom, or even how my dad left us; everything. I'm teased and bullied for every little thing I do. The other night, I just lost it. I was overwhelmed. These popular kids just started harassing Addie and I. I thought I had nothing left for me. I doubted everything about myself. I've always cut, I know that's not cool, but it's how I've always dealt with things. And when you walked in suddenly, I thought of how it could all go away. I could be dead- like you. You're my only friend Ellie. I want to be with you. I can't think of leaving you. I know we've only been friends for a month, but I've known you since I was six, and I feel like I could trust you with anything. You're my best friend." He breathed out shakily.
I tried to process everything. I shook my head. "Tate, you're my best friend too, but you can't stay here. It's not safe. Do you remember what I told you? About how I was happy that you escaped ten years ago when you moved out? I still mean it. Although I enjoy your company, and everything, this isn't somewhere that you can stay. It's full of evil. It's still not safe, you could die at any"-
He cut me off, "Good! Did you not hear me, Ellie? I want to die. I don't belong in that outside world."
I shook my head, tears started to form in my eyes. "Maybe now, but in ten years? In ten, twenty, thirty years you're going to regret it. You're going to be trapped here, forever. That may seem nice now, but when you're trapped here for eternity you're going to wish you lived out your life. Tate, you have so much ahead of you. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're going to get married and have kids and go to college. You're going to have a life. In here you'll only rot away. Every day will drag on and on. You'll grow bored and angry. You don't want this."
"I'll have you. It'll be different." He said.
"Don't ever try to kill yourself again." I said. With that, I became unknown. I was tired.