Saturday Morning

8:13am

"Phil, wake up, lazy ass. You told me you would make me pancakes this morning." I opened my eyes slowly to see none other than my brown-haired flatmate, Daniel Howell. Though, if I ever called him anything other than Dan, he would probably put flour in my hairdryer again—even if it was just for a prank.

"Hmm. What time is it?" I yawned and slumped deeper into my covers. I heard him sigh and walk to the other side of the room. It got quiet for a minute so I cautiously peeked out from my covers to see him staring out of the window. The sun was just beginning to peek out and it shone a ray of sunlight that made his hair look beautiful—magical.

It was true. Ever since I met Dan online I couldn't help but have a certain attraction to him that I shouldn't. We were just friends, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting more. Was it his sarcastic humor? Maybe his shining almond eyes that pulled me in? I don't know. All I do know is that I love him. Sadly enough, my feelings were pointless. There was no way he could return what I had for him. He liked women. Don't get me wrong—I had liked women my whole life also. It's just...when I met him my whole world changed.

"Idiot." Dan muttered from the window, completely interrupting my thoughts. "You don't even know what today is, do you?" My heart stopped. What could today possibly be? It wasn't his birthday, that was in June and it was mid December. It's not the anniversary in which we met, I would have definitely remembered that and it wasn't "Delia Smith Day" which we made up a couple weeks back...so what else could it be?

"Dan...uh...actually-"

"Just kidding. It's Throw-A-Totoro-At-Phil day. Muahaha." And suddenly my giant Totoro came flying at me full speed.

"Dan!" I playfully yelled and threw off the covers and stood up. He smiled a bit and made his way to under the door frame.

"No really though, I'm expecting pancakes in ten minutes." he blatantly said and shuffled awkwardly off in his socks. I sighed. I knew this was going to be a long day already.

I rubbed my eyes and got out of my bed. I looked around my room. It was fairly messy. Maybe that's why Dan doesn't like coming in here too often. He was a really articulate guy. Things always had to be neat and tidy—symmetrical. I always bother him when I accidentally leave all the cabinets open while making food; I can't help it. I hope I don't bother him too much.

I walked down the hall to the kitchen and the smell of freshly brewed tea hit me in the face. I look to see Dan pouring two cups.

"Well, look who's capable of making his own tea." I joked and started to the fridge. He chuckled a bit.

"Someone was taking an eternity to get out of bed, so I had no other choice really." He handed me a cup.

"Awww, how sweet." I sipped the tea and immediately spit it out. "Dan! What is in this tea!"

"Oh, just the usual...water, tea leaves, salt..."

"Salt!"

"Muahahaha." he laughed and wiggled off towards the living room. What was with him this morning? He was being extra playful. I ignored it and started his pancakes. A couple of minutes passed and I started mixing the batter. I looked up to see Dan had claimed the sofa and was on his laptop.

"What are you checking?" I asked him, watching his expression turn to like he was about to laugh of something.

"I'm checking Twitter...oh god." he was laughing then. I put the whisk down (someone finally sent us one) and started off towards to see what was so funny.

" MaryTheDanosaur photo shopped my face onto a llama and captioned it 'I get all the bitches' and then it shows like 10 Chihuahuas with your face on them; all with different expressions. Hahaha!" he was practically 'rofl-ing' now.

"What's that supposed to mean!" I knew it was a joke, but I couldn't help but wonder if all of our "Phans" out there that shipped us could tell that I loved Dan, but he didn't feel the same. I left Dan and returned to making pancakes.

"Your fans are so perverted. Mine all like lions and cake and innocent things." I joked as I put the batter In the frying pan.

"They're not alllll perverted." he replied, sipping his tea again.

"Oh yeah? Let me see." I went and stole the laptop from him and clicked on his mentions.

"From MelissaGrayy: Penis, Dan. Penis, penis, penis." I said monotone like and held back a smile, "And, oh look. She spammed you with this like ten times followed by 'Please seductively eat Maltesers like you eat Phil's...'—wait what the hell? I'm not reading that! See Dan, all of these are perverted."

"...So?" he smiled slightly, "Phil...what's that smell?"

"Oh crap; the pancakes!" I run back to the frying pan to see the pancake nearly charcoal black. Dan peaked from behind me and stared at the disaster. "...Sorry?"

"You're not even capable of making pancakes!" Dan's voice pitched a bit higher than usual. He laughed then and side hugged me. "Don't worry about it...and sinc you'v already ruined that, I have something to tell you." He guided me over to the sofa and sat me down.

"What is it?" I felt my eyes tremble. Dan is hardly ever really serious like that. He took a seat next to me and looked me in the eyes. I stared back into his almond colored eyes. They looked concerned and sort of regretful. He broke the eye contact for a moment to take a deep breath and then looked back towards me.

"Phil, do you remember when we went to the Manchester Shopping District last week?" I nodded, "Do you remember that girl we met?"

"Yeah, Nami right?" Dan and I had went shopping last week and ended up at a bar. Reluctantly enough, I stayed with him as he drank and talked to all these women. One girl in particular stood out to him I guess. She had brunette wavy hair, green eyes and was a couple inches shorter than him. I don't think it was her look that intrigued him, but her personality. She was so bright and bubbly; she practically lit up the room. Dan got her number and I have no doubt that he's been talking to her.

"Yeah...what do you think of her?" he shifted uncomfortably.

"She's nice...why?"

He paused for a moment.

"Because she's my girlfriend now."

I remember my first time talking to Dan. He was so sarcastic and hilarious in everything. Up until then I didn't really have a, so to say, 'best friend'. I practically woke up every day just to talk to him. We would go on about our favorite movies and video games and making Delia Smith impressions. It was great. My life got even better when he said yes to my invitation to live with me in my flat.

It wasn't until one night that we were watching Kill Bill together that it finally hit me that I was in love with him. As cheesy as it may sound, he's my everything.

But all chances of my complete happiness was taken away then.

I felt my heart sink into a blackness that words can't describe. My whole body felt numb and defeated as if I just died right there and then. I tried my best to smile for him, instead I felt my whole expression display complete devastation. Silence echoed in the room for about two minutes until I uttered enough will to speak.

"I'm happy for you." was all I could manage to choke out, Dan looked at me even more concerned than before. I knew I should try to be more encouraging.

"I mean, that's great! As long as you're happy." I diverted my eyes and shifted.

"Thanks, buddy." he ruffled my hair as he stood up. "I just wanted to let you know is all. Oh, and did Tesco come yet? I want my freaking Pom-Bears."

I shook my head and just sat there staring into oblivion. How was I suppose to live knowing the person I love is in love with another?

What would happen to the "Phan" base? Would Dan tell them? They'd find out sooner or later. All those Danosaurs would be tweeting him things about him and Nami now as opposed of me. As weird as it sounds, all those fanmade videos and tweets for Phan made me smile and it gave me a sort of hope.

What could I do now?

Love Always,

ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl