|Doc Tanner and Michelle McFly
Author: Me PM
Michelle's homework leads to imaginative tale of Tanners in Washington, D.C. in the winter of 1800/1, including a visit to the White House. Adding to the comedy is the fact Kimmy's & D.J.'s Biology class is dissecting pigs. Follows "In Loving Memory" in this AU season 7 fic; see inside note for moreRated: Fiction K - English - Words: 4,224 - Published: 07-03-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8281394
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: More Season 7 where John Stamos leaves, as in "In Loving Memory" which would follow the camp episode and introduce Kelli, played by the Olsen who doesn't play Michelle. "Wrong Way Tanner" wouldn't change much, though with different stuff for adults to do and developing Joey as to whether he keeps the radio show, etc.. "Fast Friends" would be fourth to emphasize older kids will be highlighted, too. This "episode" would replace "Tough Love" but would air fifth. Still mention of Nicky & Alex getting first timeout at 22 months, but more silly stuff is focus without Jesse as the show tries to draw viewers lost if Jesse leaves.
Doc Tanner and Michelle McFly
(Teaser – Michelle, Kelli, Stephanie, Becky)
Michelle Tanner and her nearly lookalike cousin, Kelli, almost seven, walked up to Stephanie Tanner, eleven, as she read on the living room couch. "Steph, how does time travel work?" Michelle asked.
"Michelle," Stephanie said, barely looking up as their Aunt Becky walked up behind them, "that's just make believe."
"We know we can't, but how do they do it?" Kelli insisted.
Stephanie put her book down as she spoke and Becky chuckled. "First they fluctuate membranes in a frambarb capacitor, and then reverse the quadrocilic goozdibs till they oscillate."
"Thanks, wow," Kelli said with some awe. "Why can't we do that?"
"We don't have hyperstatic gorgonzola to fuel it," Stephanie explained.
"Told you she was a genius," Michelle said as the younger girls walked away.
Becky held up a hand and gave Stephanie a high five as she complimented her. "Yep; like a future sci-fi writer," Becky said.
Kimmy Gibbler, best friend of the oldest Tanner girl, D.J., walked in the back door and into the Tanner kitchen with D.J. after school.
"Free pork chops," Kimmy called out.
Stephanie and the youngest girls, seated at the kitchen table, gave Kimmy odd looks. The Tanner girls' dad, Danny, and his best friend Joey Gladstone entered the room as D.J., a junior like Kimmy, told her, "I don't think they'll let us butcher the pigs after we dissect them."
"You could be right; I'm still waiting for the frogs' legs from Junior High," Kimmy said.
"I hope you didn't hurt any of my friends," Joey said in a Kermit the Frog voice.
"Don't worry, Joey, I'm sure that guy from the first Muppet Movie isn't around," D.J. said as Becky tiredly came down the steps with Nicky and Alex.
"I think she just timed the boys out for the first time," Danny explained lowly as Becky set out some paper and crayons for the boys at a smaller table.
Michelle piped up, "If you have trouble, D.J. will help; she was always really good with me till Dad got ready."
"Yeah, almost two years later," Kimmy said. She looked ready to say more to Danny, but stopped when D.J. nudged her.
Becky looked up while helping the boys and emphasized, "Danny put things off for a couple years even after Dr. Landress warned him around Michelle's second birthday that he'd have to enforce limits. Some of it was sadness over losing Pam and the fact Michelle was growing up without Pam." She stood and said, "But, I didn't think about Jesse being gone just now. It was hard because it should be hard to enforce limits. Even when they put something down a t-o-i-l-e-t,' she finished, spelling so they wouldn't have to have it brought to mind right away again.
"So, what are you squirt juniors learning about?" Kimmy asked Michelle and Kelli. "Maybe you can take a field trip to our class. We can make sausage together."
"Remind me to cross that off the grocery list," Danny said.
"We have to write a story in teams called 'If I Could Travel In Time,'" Kelli said.
"Really? What's it about?" Kimmy asked.
"Arithmetic," Stephanie cracked.
Kimmy cocked her head a little and said, "Must be the new math."
"Do you have any ideas?" Becky asked.
"On the way home I told Michelle I went to Washington once," Kelli said.
"I'd like to write about it," Michelle remarked. "But, after slavery. I'd be so sad to see that."
"That's something good to put in your paper. It shows different things you want to see or not and why," Danny said.
Joey concurred. "Yeah, like I'd like to go a little further back and throw a pie in the face of a British general during the Revolution." The others looked oddly at him. "Hey, I love my freedom; I'd want to take a stand."
"We should leave the pies out," Michelle told Kelli, who nodded. "What are some funny real things we could see?"
Stephanie turned to D.J. as the oldest girls were about to go upstairs. "Deej, remember how funny I thought it was when I learned Abigail Adams hung laundry in the East Room of the White House at first?" To Michelle, she said, "Washington D.C. wasn't finished till after George Washington died and John Adams was President."
"I remember. Kimmy and I learned all about the Election of 1800. It took a long time to break the tie," D.J. recalled fondly.
"Yeah, just think; I could slaughter pigs for a living if I was around then. Wouldn't that make you time travelers want to visit me?" Kimmy asked.
"Only if I could pack a lunch," Danny quipped. "Oh, that reminds me, Vicki's coming this weekend. You can read her your story. She's making a special meal, including pasta with pesto sauce," he said excitedly.
"What's pesto?" Kelli wanted to know.
Kimmy made a face. "It's green."
"No thanks, I'll take my chances with Kimmy's pork chops," Michelle said.
"Michelle you might really like it; you have to give it a chance," Becky told her.
"Did John Adams own slaves?" Kelli wanted to know.
"No, he wouldn't have had them in the new White House," Danny said. He didn't want to disappoint her by telling her it would still be around in Washington itself.
"Then tell us all about what you two learned, so we can put it in our story," Michelle said.
D.J. patted her on the head as she said, "Only if you've got enough room in your ship for us."
Michelle picked up her pen and said, "Why not; everyone hop aboard."
As the story began to unfold in the girls' imaginations, the Tanners, Kimmy, and Steve emerged on Pennsylvania Avenue in early 1801. It was quite chilly, so everyone wore jackets.
"Wow, look how new everything looks," D.J. said. She ws amazed at the dirt roads, the lack of people – it looked like a small country town to her.
Kimmy agreed. "And look; pigs in the streets. We could have a field day," she told D.J..
"Do you realize how much more common roaches and other varmints would be in this time period? I'd get tons of work," Steve inquired. He'd recently begun working with Jesse's dad as he began to transfer his business to him.
Danny breathed deeply. "Don't remind me. I don't know where I'd start cleaning."
"Dirt roads can get pretty dusty when there's no rain," Joey said. "Hey, there's a bakery."
"Good, let's see what kind of chocolate treats they have," Michelle said eagerly.
"Not so fast," Danny said. "They sweetened it with lead back then, which is poisonous."
"We don't know how lucky we've got it," Kelli told Michelle, who nodded.
"Well, even if there's no chocolate they've got sugar and fruits and stuff, so we'll find good pies to eat," Stephanie said.
"Or to throw," Joey noted.
"Hey, let's go see if anyone's home in that fancy house," Kelli said, pointing to the White House, which was not yet white; it was the natural gray of the sandstone, and only a small portion was built compared to what they knew..
"You guys go; we'll look for food," Steve said.
"You sure? I can slaughter a pig in no time," Kimmy said. The adults left shaking their heads.
The girls ran up and knocked on the White House door. A butler opened it. "Is President Adams in?" Stephanie asked.
"Whom shall I say is calling?" the man asked.
"We want to see the laundry hanging in the East Room," Michelle proclaimed.
The man was taken aback. "I beg your pardon?"
D.J. put her hands on Michelle's shoulders. "What my sister means is, we've heard so many stories about the Declaration of Independence and the war, and yet how President Adams sees himself as a citizen like us, though of course in an office of great honor."
"What has that to do with laundry?" the butler asked as President Adams walked behind him but a fair distance away.
"It's John Adams," Kelli shrieked.
"Hey, Mr. President," Kimmy said as he came up to them. She pulled out a pen and notepad. "Can I have your John Hancock? Well, sign your name, not his."
"Whatever are you doing here?" President Adams asked. "Where are your parents?"
D.J. explained. "Our mom died years ago; the others went with Steve to get food."
"I know it's a bother, Mr. President; I'm sure you're very busy," Stephanie said politely. "We've just heard so many great things about our Founding Fathers, we wanted to see you in person."
The butler motioned Adams aside. "They may be orphans, Mr. President; a deceased mother, no mention of a father, just others going with a Steve."
Adams grumbled a little. "True. We fought for the freedom to do as we ought, without a tyrant's control; and it would be wise to pass on the history of that struggle should they be unaware of the magnitude." He was saddened, too, by the death of a son, Charles, which caused him to want to pass something more on. To the girls asked, "Are you the only children in your group?"
"Nicky and Alex aren't two yet, they wouldn't appreciate this," D.J. said.
"I see. If I should provide my hospitality, do not, under any circumstances, let anyone know; I'll not have common citizens running in and out." He said as an aside to the butler, "As my term ends, I can at least help them understand my legacy."
Stephanie recalled his epitaph. "John Adams – the man who took upon himself the responsibility to make peace with France in 1800," she blurted at hearing of his legacy.
Adams turned and pointed. "Very astute, young lady. Our country could not have afforded a war, no matter what Hamilton thinks I suppose I can let you in." As they followed him he said, "My dear Abigail tells me to consider that women have the same need for rights as men."
"Look," Michelle said, pointing to a string of laundry hung in a large, drafty, unfinished room.
"They need to paint this place, too," Kimmy spouted. "It's not white."
"Kimmy, go slaughter some pigs before you accidentally reveal the future," Stephanie spouted after glancing to make sure Adams was talking and not paying attention to her.
"Fine, I will." She left.
Adams was finishing. "…And, let me tell you, you children may idolize Jefferson, but make no mistake, some of his policies are ruinous; why, he would eliminate our navy entirely."
"Why are you so upset? You worked on the Declaration of Independence together," Kelli said.
"You should be great friends," Michelle added.
Adams spoke despondently. "I wish we were. We have grown so far apart politically, and attacked each other so, I despair of us ever renewing our friendship."
Meanwhile, Danny, Becky, Joey, and Steve came upon a butcher shop where Kimmy was working. "Sooooo-ee," Kimmy shoulted. "Howdy, pardners." The butcher gave her a very strange look. "How come these people don't know a good accent when they hear it."
"I don't think the word 'pardner' will be invented for years," Becky replied.
"Hey, it's not like I was asking for a telephone to call for a pizza," Kimmy retorted.
"That's not a bad idea, except I'd hate to think what they'd charge for delivery," Joey said.
"Hey," Steve said, "I could teach them how to make it."
"Look, we're here to learn; nobody is going to invent the pizza," Danny declared.
"It doesn't have to be invented, just modified some; I'm sure similar pies have been made for centuries," Joey pointed out.
The butcher smiled. "You people are funny with your strange speech and arguing. And what is that 'SF' on your jacket?" he asked Danny, who was wearing a San Francisco Giants jacket.
"I guess you won't believe San Francisco; it's a small Spanish mission on the other coast," danny said.
"It would work with how strange we look," Joey told Danny. "He could always figure we're from there, and that foreigners just act strange; right?" he asked the butcher.
The butcher agreed. "It would not surprise me with all the charges that France wished to influence the election; why not Spain, too? Why not just bring all of Europe?" he asked sarcastically before spitting on the ground. "We declared independence to be free from such things. Who are you favoring now?"
"What's that? Oh, wait," Steve suddenly recalled. "Jefferson and Burr are probably still going at it in the House of Representatives, huh?"
"Yes, it has been deadlocked for a while; there are worries it may go beyond March fourth," the man explained. "If it should extend beyond Inauguration Day it will cause an immense crisis."
"I'm sure the country will survive," Becky said. "Are they voting now?" When told they were, Danny asked for directions to the Capitol.
Meanwhile, the others were consoling Adams; or at least trying to. "I'm sure he forgives you," D.J. said. "We're sisters, and we've had plenty of arguments, but we always make up."
"All it takes is one person telling the other he's sorry," Kelli said.
""If not, ice cream will clinch it," Michelle added.
"Life is so simple for children your age," Adams said. "But we battled for four years with him as my Vice President, and this past election was incredibly bitter. I might have been willing to push to repeal the Alien and Sedition Acts, or at least let the Supreme Court declare them against the Constitution – I believe my new Chief Justice appointee would support judicial review of laws. But, the attacks on each other's policies became very personal; that is when things go from a calm debate to destruction," he informed them, holding a finger up as he hoped for them to recall his imparted wisdom. "That is where, as sisters, you should feel a great love toward each other that pulls you back when you are tempted to stray too far."
"But, don't you love your friend?" Kelli asked. Adams was silent.
Stephanie noted, "Forgiveness isn't saying something is right; it's saying 'I love you anyway.' After all, God didn't say we were right to sin, when he forgive us He did it by by coming down as Jesus and taking the punishment for our sins; it's not something we earn, we call on Him by faith." She didn't recall how much Adams believed about that.
D.J. remembered what got Adams and Jefferson back to writing each other congenially; a statement by Adams in 1811, after Jefferson's Presidency. "Maybe you can tell a reporter; you know, let word get out so he knows you're willing to talk. I mean, sure, you have different ideas for how to run the country, but you also both believe in our country."
"Sure, you don't have to talk about politics. Just discuss normal stuff," Stephanie said. "I mean, you guys shared some incredible times in the Continental Congress. I don't know if this is true or just a legend I heard, but I remember a story about you having the chance to write the Declaration of Independence, and telling Jefferson to do it because he could write ten times better." Adams at least grinned at that.
"And, you could always throw a pie in his face like Joey says if you're frustrated," Michelle said.
"Our country was founded on peaceful transfer of government," Adams muttered. "I do not wish to sully that by remaining for the inauguration in my embittered state. And, I am even concerned about what may happen should the tie continue between Jefferson and Burr; as I understand whoever wins will most likely do so by only one or two votes."
"At least think about it, Mr. President. We should go see the Capitol now," Kelli said.
As the group gathered in the spectator's gallery, they were amazed at how different it was, too; the dome, for instance, wasn't there yet. It was being built during the Civil War. And, the Supreme Court met in the same building; of course, it was a lot less crowded with so many fewer members of Congress.
Joey reported, "There's one guy who's supposedly trying to figure out if he should break the tie or not."
"I think I remember this story; didn't he happen to see a paper with Jefferson's name on it?" Steve asked D.J., who nodded.
"Let's help him," Michelle said as she held up a quill. "I borrowed a reporter's quill pen."
"But how do we get it to him?" Kelli asked.
"I know just the thing," Michelle said.
Suddenly as the others were talking, out of the corner of his eye Danny caught Michelle about to throw a paper airplane. "Michelle, you shouldn't throw those where people aren't looking; someone could get hurt with that," he scolded.
"That's right; that tip could poke an eye out," D.J. admonished. "Besides, nobody would ever believe that the deciding vote in the election of 1800 was cast because of a paper airplane."
"Right; airplanes haven't been invented yet," Joey pointed out.
"I'm sorry; I just wanted to help," Michelle said sadly.
"I'm sure the representative can decide on his own," Becky remarked.
Soon thereafter, Thomas Jefferson – having heard of the result – was overjoyed. He saw the time travelers as they were leaving Congress. "Congratulations, Mr. President," Kelli said.
"I won't actually have that title till I'm sworn in, but thank you," Jefferson said politely. .
"We talked to John Adams," Michelle said. "I'm sure you'll be back to being friends someday."
Joey added, "And, if you're really mad at him, you can just throw a pie in his face."
Jefferson turned to a friend and said, "Quite strange people; throwing a pie at someone?" After a moment, he said, "At least they enjoy their freedom, though in an odd manner."
Back in the present, Michelle and Kelli were in front of their second grade class. "John Adams and Thomas Jefferson really did become friends again," Michelle said.
Kelli concluded their story by saying, "They even died on the same day – July fourth, 1826, America's fiftieth birthday."
"That was wonderful; so full of interesting facts, too," the teacher complimented. The bell rang, and the children began to get up to go home.
"Thanks, we had lots of fun doing it," Michelle said.
Denise, their best friend, walked up to them. "It sure was a lot more interesting than Aaron Bailey's story."
"What do you mean? Gettysburg was incredible," Aaron said.
Derek Boyd, a very precocious classmate, explained. "I provided lots of interesting facts. All you did was make gun noises."
"Plus you'll lose some points on your part because of the airplane noises," Denise said. "At least Michelle and Kelli were smart enough to say airplanes weren't invented and just make a joke. You made sounds like World War Two bombers."
Aaron put his hands on his hips. "So? My dad says Hollywood doesn't always do history right."
"Not even Hollywood gets history that wrong," Derek said. Aaron glared but said nothing.
As she and Michelle left, Kelli spoke. "Their story was interesting, too. I just hope supper tonight will be as good," Kelli said as they grabbed their backpacks.
Michelle reminded her, "At least we have good desserts now."
Back at the Tanner residence, everyone was in the living room near suppertime, including Vicki and Kimmy. "Sorry I can't join you," Kimmy said, "my dad's cooking sausage on the grill."
"Tell me it's not from the pigs you dissected," Vicki requested.
"Nope; teacher wouldn't let us. She said not everyone wants to eat that right after class, so I'm pretty brave," Kimmy said.
D.J. noted, "It was also a very fun project otherwise, too. We learned about anatomy, how muscles work, all kinds of neat things."
Steve suggested, "Maybe 'learning by doing' is more for you, Kimmy."
"I like asking questions, too. For instance, last year I raised my hand and asked how they agreed to all stop talking in British accents at once after 1776. I was shocked to learn the colonies all had their own dialects," Kimmy told the others.
"Not as shocked as the teacher was to hear that question," D.J. muttered.
Vicki said, "It was probably like the same look Michelle and Kelli said Derek had on his face while his partner was making those gun noises and yelling 'bam, pow' while he talked." The others nodded. "Anyway, supper's ready, everyone." Kimmy left, and the others all went out to the kitchen as she continued. "I brought some fancy cheese, too; it's called gorgonzola."
Michelle's and Kelli's eyes lit up as they helped Becky get Nicky and Alex into their booster seats. "Do you know what this means?" Michelle asked.
"Yah; now as soon as we make the hyper-whatever kind, we can fuel a time machine," Kelli said excitedly.
Stephanie chuckled. "I knew that word sounded familiar." She turned to Vicki as she served her. "I made up stuff to explain time travel to Michelle and Kelli. I guess I'd heard of gorgonzola cheese once, so when I was coming up with words off the top of my head it came out," she explained.
"it sounds like you had fun; that's what matters," Vicki said.
Michelle was eating the pasta. "Hey, this stuff is really good."
"Yeah, I like it, too," Kelli agreed.
"See, it's fun to try new foods, isn't it?" Danny said.
D.J. sensed a little concern. "Don't worry, Dad; I wouldn't consider Kimmy's cooking part of that, either. Although she did earn her Honeybee cooking badge with Mom's help."
"Nicky and Alex really like it, too, huh, boys?" Becky asked.
"Yeah, it's good," Nicky said.
""We like to eat," Alex answered.
"Eating is a lot of fun, especially with all the choices we have,' Vecki said.
D.J. held up a hand. "Don't worry, Dad, I know what you're going to say. You're going to start talking about guests on your show from places like Russia where they fainted the first time they were in a supermarket and saw how much there was."
"No, but thanks for bringing it up," Danny said with a grin. "We really have come a long way in the last couple hundred years or so. I'm glad you girls chose the era you did for your story; it really is great to see how it all began so you can be thankful for all the things we have now."
"Yeah, like dessert," Michelle said.
"Even chocolate's come a long way from when they first made it," Kelli noted.
Danny chuckled. "That, too. Our founders really went through a lot to give us this freedom; we didn't always do what's right, but we kept improving. It's great to know we can celebrate freedom."
(A/N: I have one other idea for this universe with the Smash Club and that might be it, though the story might contain a few other notes on future episodes like my "Matchmakers" does in the Melina universe. I'm not sure when I'll have time to get to it, though, as right now it's not developed beyond maybe a page or so in my hed and life is pretty busy, so even that might not get written for a long while. Also, one other interesting thought came as I was finishing this. If this episode was really popular, in this universe Mary-Kate and Ashley might have a series of time travel videos as well; educational or along the comedy of Mr. Peabody and Sherman.)