|If You're Gone
Author: Lynx and Banner PM
A collection of drabbles, one-shots, and multi-shots centering around Jane and Thor. Warning: May contain dark themes, fluff, lack of Poptarts, and touchy subjects. It will probably contain some Loki/Darcy interaction as well. Specific warnings and notes are posted in each chapter.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Thor & Jane F. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,904 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11-22-12 - Published: 07-03-12 - id: 8283410
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Day One, Hour One
Now, there was nothing I could do but wait. And so I waited.
Day One, Hour Two
By now, Darcy was sitting next to me tapping away at her phone. I wasn't even sure there was signal out here. Eric had paced for a while before choosing to stare at the sky.
Day One, Hour Five
The sky was darkening and it was getting colder. I shivered a lot, but refused to move. I would keep waiting.
Day One, Hour Seven
At this point, I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face. I hated waiting almost more than anything else. I'd almost lulled myself into a sense of calm when Darcy started shaking my arm.
"Doc, look!" She was frantically pointing towards the sky. When I looked up, it didn't look any different. The constellations were properly placed and the Northern Star still shown brightest.
Frowning, I asked, "Look at what?"
Her frown didn't match mine. It seemed more confused than tired. "I thought... It looked like the sky rippled for a moment."
"You're imagining things, Darce."
Day One, Hour Eight
"Jane, don't you think we should go back to the research center or your trailer? He knows where we are."
I turned cold, hard eyes on Eric. "No." At this point, I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about my attitude. I just missed Thor.
Day One, Hour Twelve
I sat, just waiting. It was nearly morning, the sun about to peak out over the New Mexico horizon. The air was warming up again. Eric sat in the van. Darcy was on the ground next to me, humming a song to distract herself. Every now and then she would switch to singing it instead.
The doctor tells me to relax and stand still/Prescribes me a new pill to quell my anger.
My mind was wondering. I worried so much over whether or not Thor was safe, hurt, mortally wounded, dying, dead... All these scenarios spun around in my mind, like fine silk. For the first time, I desperately wished I wasn't a scientist. I wished I didn't know a thousand ways to kill someone, a hundred different ways to die during a battle, tens of looks of pain that could fill someone's face, a few of the most painful wounds from a sword. I wished I didn't imagine Thor in all of those. I wished he would return.
Waiting for this life to change seems like it's taking me forever /and I can't hold on.
There were tears building up in my eyes at this point. My worries pounded away at my nerves and everything ached. Especially my heart.
I unburied my face, hoping to find something to distract me. The sky was a lot lighter than I thought it would be. I could see the sun by now, bleeding into the starlight.
This light is breaking into the day/Again, into the day, again.
Day One, Hour Sixteen
"Jane, we've been here all night, and half the day before that. I had to nearly drag you to the car so we could go to your place for fifteen minutes."
"I know, Darcy. But I can't leave."
Day Two, Hour Nine
Darcy had talked me into taking another shower at my house. The wind had picked up beforehand and I'd felt like a dust bunny with a tumbleweed for hair. After that, we stopped at the diner and picked up some things to go. Eric stayed at the research center. Darcy had a book with her now; a cross word book sat beside me. I stared at the stars again.
Day Two, Hour Seventeen
Eric called me and told me to come back. I told him I couldn't. When he started arguing, Darcy took my phone and shut it.
That was two hours ago. He hasn't called since.
Day Three, Hour Six
I wasn't hungry anymore. My eyes kept filling with tears, but they never fell. Darcy had a new book and sometimes napped in the van. She told me I would fall asleep sometimes. I never remember it.
Day Four, Hour Two
Darcy fell asleep. She was grumbling about missing Glee, but I don't think she meant what she said.
I kept waiting for Thor.
Day Six, Hour Twenty-one
There was a pattern. Sit and stare for six hours. Pace for another one. Either eat what we had with us or go get something from town for the next hour. Pace for two hours. Sit and stare for four. Shower, change, and eat again for two hours. Sit and stare for three hours. Pace for one. Sit and stare for one. Let Darcy distract me for a final hour.
Somewhere in the hours, Darcy would sleep and, other times, chat or read. I guess I slept during some of the hours I sat. Even my dreams were about waiting, it seemed.
Day Eight, Hour Three
"I love you and all Jane, but maybe he isn't coming back."
My dead eyes slid to meet Darcy's.
I didn't have to say anything. She simply nodded and went back to reading.
Day Eleven, Hour Twenty
Boots crunched the thick gravel. I couldn't bring myself to turn around. I couldn't bring myself to turn around. After a few minutes, my eyes met a pair of dark pants.
I tipped my head back and met a pair of equally dark sunglasses. A S.H.I. . agent. I stayed silent.
"You need to go back to your research center, now, Miss Foster. S.H.I.E.L.D. has much for you to do, and none of it involves sitting around."
The door to the van flew open with a resounding bang. "She isn't sitting around. She's waiting."
I imagined the eyes flicked to meet a furious Darcy. "Miss Foster is perfectly capable of waiting somewhere besides the middle of the desert. People in Puente Antiguo are starting to question it."
"Duh. And anyone who asked was told we were researching."
"Well, I'm sure much more research could be done in her lab."
"It probably could. I'm not arguing with that."
The agent's lips tightened. "I have direct orders from Director Fury to get Miss Foster back to her lab and begin the work we have for her."
In the end, the agent left with a scowl and probably a learned set of inventive curse words from Darcy. I was still waiting.
Day Sixteen, Hour Nine
Darcy was sleeping again. I stood up to pace and look around for the moon. It was gone.
In the rational part of my mind, I knew it was just a new moon.
But that didn't seem to matter. All I could do was stand in place, my eyes frozen on the sky. I was searching for something I couldn't find - and I knew it.
Day Sixteen, Hour Ten
My breathing and heart rates had gone back to normal. I sat down and put my head between my knees. My stomach stopped churning.
Day Sixteen, Hour Eleven
I scared Darcy when I started the engine. She had been snoring softly in the back seat.
When she realized what was going on, she merely climbed into the passenger seat and started fiddling with the radio.
I was alright with that.
Talking would have meant I had to face the fact that I was leaving.
When I should be waiting.
1 This one is set directly after Thor leaves.
2 Apparently, I really love angsty!Jane and helpful!Darcy.
3 The lyrics and overall theme song for this chapter is Waiting by The Red Jumpsuit Appartus.
4 Enjoy. Review. Thanks to my readers, followers, reviewers, and those who favorite. Continue rocking.