|When You Pass My Grave
Author: Lala Sharada PM
. . . . leave a rose for what might have been. When Roy unexpectedly dies, Riza is determined to follow him into death, though she must leave behind her grieving family.Rated: Fiction T - English - Family/Tragedy - Roy M. & Riza H. - Words: 2,328 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 07-08-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8298968
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A.N: So, this story, I don't even know. As soon as I started writing, it just took off and I couldn't stop, it even eventually turning into a songfic, which was not what I had originally planned. I just had an image of Riza crying in front of a grave and it grew from there. But I have to say, I don't think anything has ever flowed so easily for me before, everything just fit together so perfectly.
As I'm writing a story, I usually look to music for inspiration. I mean, I literally have a playlist called, "Writing Music." And so, one day, I was working on this story and happened to stumble across my Boyce Avenue CD and the song, Briane pops up. If you don't know, Briane was a song the guys wrote for a close friend of theirs, whose wife had committed suicide. Briane is like a letter from heaven, from the wife to their friend.
So, anyway, the lyrics to this song go perfectly with this story, like they were made for each other. I don't use the entire song though; just bits and pieces, and I think one chorus.
- Also, I am introducing Roy and Riza's family in this story. I gave them three kids, Maes, Elizabeth and Emily, though you only see them as adults in this fic. And I OWN THEM!
- Briane by Boyce Avenue
She didn't shed a single tear throughout the entire funeral, though she did have a hankie tucked away into her pocket, she found no use for it until she stood before his grave, after everyone else had gone. The sun was just beginning to set and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, but still . . .
"It really is a terrible day for rain, sir," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. (1)
She didn't try to swallow back the lump in her throat, or blink away the tears that burned behind her eyes. She could cry freely now that there wasn't anyone around. She was completely alone, just her and this cold stone grave. A sob escaped her lips as the first tears began to fall, she then bringing up a hand to cover her mouth as another sob emerged. She sniffed, and tried to regain enough composure to finish what she had to say. This was her final goodbye, for she hadn't had the strength to say any of these words until now.
"Roy . . ." her voice broke as she uttered his name and tears ran freely down her face. She collapsed in on herself, unable to keep it together any longer. She sobbed bitterly, weeping for her lost husband, her other half, her everything. She felt lost without him; there was no North Star, no guiding light to bring her home. There was nothing but an endless sea of black, and it consumed her now, swallowing her entire being whole. She had nothing without him. There was no longer anyone to protect.
Riza sniffed and wiped her face with the hankie, trying to clean herself up, even if it was a just a little. She needed to get this out, had to let him know, although she strongly felt that he already did know, wherever he may be. She heaved a shaky sigh, gathering her thoughts together. "Roy, you fool . . . why did you have to go on and die before I did? We were supposed to grow old together, and die in our sleep, right? Just . . . just have our hearts give out on their own, and then that way . . . neither of us would have to wait for the other and I wouldn't be so alone right now . . ." she sniffed again, trying to hold back another sob. With a thick voice she pressed on, "You couldn't even hold out to see your grandson, huh? You know, Maes is probably going to name him after you, now." She smiled a bittersweet smile, "And now, I won't even be able to see him . . ." Her voice gained strength as she continued on, "Roy, I'll be joining you soon, wherever it is that you are. The only reason I've even lasted this long is because of our children." She tightened her hand into a fist, clutching the hankie tight in her grip. "I said I would follow you into the depths of hell, and now, I'll follow you into death as well . . . I love you Roy, and I can't bear to live without you."
She lifted her head, looking up at the clear, sunset colored sky as tears ran down her cheeks. "So please, wait for me. I'll be there soon."
Nobody wants to be alone, with the fear of letting go
And though I've gone away
I still see what you're going through
It kills me everyday
to know I killed what meant most to you
So when you pass my grave
leave a rose for what might have been
"Ms. Mustang?" an elderly maid knocked on her bedroom door. When she didn't hear any response, she opened it and poked her head in, calling out for her mistress once more, "Ms. Mustang?"
Stepping fully into the room, the maid frowned as she saw Riza still sleeping in bed. It was rather abnormal, even in her old age for her to sleep in till eleven. She was normally up and running by six 'o clock every morning. Though, she had to admit, there were a couple days in the weeks after her husband's death that Riza would hole herself up in her bedroom and refuse to let anyone in, no matter who they were. Whether it was one of the staff or any of her own children, she just wanted to be left alone. But that had only happened a couple of times, and it was now three months since the Fuhrer's death, so she was sure her mistress was at least able to cope some by now.
The maid moved closer to the bed, Riza's body turned away from her and facing the window on the far wall. Just as she was reaching out for her shoulder, something suddenly stopped her, a slight chill running down her spine. She noticed that Riza didn't look quite right. Her frown deepening in concern, she steeled herself and brought her hand down upon Riza's shoulder, gently calling her name to wake her.
She was shocked to find that her body was cold to the touch and when she turned her face up, it was deathly pale. Tears gathered in the maid's eyes as the full realization hit, knocking the breath right out of her. Riza was dead, she having died in her sleep. Her eyes were closed, as is she was merely resting peacefully, and there was also a hint of a smile on her lips, like her heart had burst with joy.
But looking back on these dreams
nothing is what it seems
Know that you`ll wake up to better things
Elizabeth was crying as she sat next to her brother, Emily seated across from them on the other couch. "To lose Dad and then Mom, so close together . . ." Elizabeth sobbed, shaking her head in disbelief.
"I know," Emily agreed quietly, playing with a tissue in her hands.
Maes sighed, "Yeah, it feels weird being here without them."
The three of them were at their parent's house to look over their wills, with both the attorney and the personal representative, to decide on what to do with the estate and their remaining assets. Now that their mother was gone, it was left up to them to decide what to do with it all. They were waiting in the front parlor room of the Fuher's mansion, sipping on cold tea. The attorney and the representative were both late for some ungodly reason.
Looking up at her elder siblings, Emily suddenly brought up a question that had been eating at her since her father's death. It was something she always found herself wondering about, as it seemed to reside permanently at the back of her mind. But it now suddenly pushed to the forefront as the words tumbled from her mouth, "Do you . . . um, do you guys think that Mom and Dad are happy, wherever they are? Or that they're even together?" her auburn brown eyes searched their faces, desperate for an answer.
Elizabeth blinked back at her, shocked, stunned into silence. She found didn't have an answer for her younger sister.
But Maes offered her a confident smile, it immediately reminding Emily of their late father. "I'm positive that they're together, Em. I mean, they were always together while living, so who's to say that they aren't together now?" He reached across the coffee table and took her hand in his, squeezing it comfortingly. "And I'm sure that they're happy too, because they have each other now."
Elizabeth had fresh tears spilling down her cheeks; she knew within her heart that he was completely right. Looking up at Emily, she noticed that she also had tears in her eyes and a watery smile on her face, "You're right, Maes. I think they're happy too."
Maes nodded and then tugging on Emily's arm, he got her to her feet and led her around the table to next to sit next to him on the couch. He then reached out and wrapped his other arm around Elizabeth's shoulders. Bringing them in for something of a group hug, he held them close to his side as they both wept, making his shoulders wet with their tears.
He tried to hold back tears of his own, swallowing down a hard lump forming in his throat, though he'd be damned if he ever let his sister's see him cry. Sure, they were all adults now and way past the age for childish games of pride, but he would be much too embarrassed if he cried in front of them. After all, he was quite literally the head of the family now.
The three of them stayed like that for a few minutes, until a sniffling Emily pulled back and wiped her face with a fresh tissue. Elizabeth followed suit and the two of them locked eyes, she giving Emily a slight smile. Noting her sister's smeared makeup and red, puffy eyes, Emily gave off a hollow laugh, saying, "We look ridiculous," for she was sure she didn't look any better.
"Yeah," Elizabeth agreed, dabbing at her eyes.
With a heavy sigh, Maes hoped that all the emotional drama was at least done for the time being. He wasn't sure how much more he could go through without breaking down. "So," he said, needing to cause some sort of a distraction, "Who wants Dad's old alchemy books? Because, I think my son could benefit from them greatly," he smirked. (2)
"He already has Dad's name, you really want him to have his use of flame alchemy as well?" Elizabeth asked.
"He'll burn your house down!" Emily chimed in, horrified at the thought.
"I tried it once," Maes reminded them.
"Yeah, and how well did that go?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
"I didn't burn anything down."
"You almost did," Emily said, both of them nodding their blonde heads in agreement.
He frowned at them, "Well, I think my Roy would make a great little alchemist," he concluded. He could only imagine the possibilities.
I hear you say,
"I don't know how and I don't know why."
"They're hurting . . ."
"They'll be fine."
"I know, but . . ."
"They are our kids, you know. If they haven't developed a thick enough hide by now, they aren't a Mustang."
She smiled softly at his words, looking down upon her three grown children with a loving gaze.
"Hey," he took her hand, making her turn back to him. His face filled her eyes, a slight smirk playing on his lips. She never did let him know just how much she truly loved that smirk, mostly because half the time, she'd always wanted to slap it right off of him.
"I'm glad that you're finally here with me."
"Are you ready?"
She gripped his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together, as they both turned to the large golden gates. Her wide smile mirrored his, "Yes."
Just know there's someone above you to help you
1. Yes, before you start a riot, I do know the original Roy Mustang line is, "It's a great day for rain." But I wanted Riza to say something different. I mean, what's the fun in quoting the same thing all the time? Plus with the "Sir" tacked on the end, it's even better!
2. I know Riza didn't want any more flame alchemists or anything, and supposedly, the research on her back was the only real proof of it, but can you really see Roy not documenting the research somehow? And to me, it looked like he never really got it all. I mean, only the bottom half of her back is scarred by Roy's fire. Maybe that was all she could stand, or all he could manage to do, because you know that was incredibly painful for the both of them.
Well, anyway, bottom line is- Roy found a way to document the research of flame alchemy and he passed the knowledge onto his children, or they at least knew of the research notes. I mean, c'mon, haven't all of us Royai fans imagined their little son trying out flame alchemy? Don't deny it, you know you have. ; )