|Have Time, Will Travel
Author: therealshackleford1 PM
As the aniversarry of the JFK assassination soon approaches, Dale is getting very excited. Through a normal chain of events, Dale stumbles upon a time machine and uses it to go back in time to November 21, 1963 to stop the killing of John F. Kennedy. Will he find Lee Harvy Oswald and prove the theory, or will he find a second gunman and change history. Stay tuned to find out.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,671 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 07-10-12 - Published: 07-09-12 - id: 8303267
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Just as a note, all rights are reserved to Mike Judge, proprietor of KOTH, which in my opinion, is the best animated show on Earth, period. I have followed it since its incarnation, and actually cried when the last episode aired.
Reviews are always appreciated, and fuel creative output.
As far as this story goes, I intend this to almost be another episode of the series. The canon is strong with this one, and my main man Dale will be taking the role as lead character in this.
Just as a disclaimer, I write my chapters in Roman numerals. If you need a numeral converter, just send me a message.
And awaaay we go.
It was your average fall day on Rainey Street in good old Arlen, Texas. It was in later November, about a week till Thanksgiving. As people flocked to the stores to grab their last minute cranberry sauce and turkeys, the four best friends in the entire world: Hank Hill, Dale Gribble, Bill Dauterive, and Jeff Boomhauer, were all in their usual spots in their coveted Rainey Street alley. The Alamo beer was plentiful.
"…and that's how propane, with the addition of a few propane accessories, can properly and perfectly cook a turkey." Hank finished as the others nodded in agreement.
"Well gentlemen, November 22nd is coming up, and you know what that means, right?" Dale asked as he turned his head around the group, looking for a comment.
"What Dale? Is it your anniversary? I wish I had an anniversary where I didn't dress up like Lenore and switch around in my seat pretending to have dinner. Hmmm." Bill asked, thinking he had the right answer.
"Shut up Bill." Hank said, shaking his head, "Just tell us Dale, nobody's gonna get the right answer."
"Yeah man, talkin' about them dang-ole guessin' games man talk about dang-ole, 21 questions man dang-ole, never get them things right man, dang-ole hard man." Boomhauer chimed in, backing up Hank's statement.
"Very well, since you simpletons do not know, November 22nd in the anniversary of when President John F Kennedy was assassinated by our government with the assistance of a few Cuban spies and Fidel Castro himself."
"Shut up Dale, the government did not kill JFK. Lee Harvey Oswald did. It said so in that book they published. And all those conspiracies you talk about are just asinine." Hank said, aggravated.
"See Hank, there's your problem. Your blind alligence to the government has left you in the dark once more. They just tell you what they want you to know. They'd never let a high-maintence plot like that get out to the public. Why do you think they killed Jake Ruby. He was ready to talk." Dale said as he took a puff of his Manitoba cigarette and flicked the ashes on the ground. Hank shook his head in fervent disagreement.
"Yeah, Hank man, dang-ole Gribble man got the right idea man talkin' bout that dang-ole grassy knoll man talkin' bout that dang-ole picket fence man with that dang-ole puff of smoke man talkin' bout that dang-ole Zappruder had that camera man, dang-ole, heard a shot from the back man. Dang-ole, grassy knoll man. Second gunman." Boomhauer said.
"Thank you Boomhauer!" Dale said as he raised his hands up in the air and said in a relieved tone. "See Hank, even Boomhauer is willing to vouch for me. Your blind alligence has failed you again. You're too stuck in the past, Hank. Times change, so should you."
"I am ashamed at you Boomhauer, siding with Dale's asinine conspiracies." Hank said as Boomhauer turned his head away in shame. "And Bill, I don't even wanna hear what you have to say. I thought you guys could trust the government, but now, I just don't know. I'm goin' home to watch television. At least they make a little sense on there." he said as he diappeared around the fence and went into his garage.
"He'll come back tomorrow. He always does." Dale said as he sniffed and flicked his ashes again.
"You know, I am surprised at Hank. He hasn't trusted television since Ronald Reagan was president." Bill said.
"Dang-ole can't keep up with the times man." Boomhauer said.
"Yep." Dale started.
"Yep." Bill continued.
"Umhmm." Boomhauer finished.
Back in Hank's house, he had just crossed the threshold from the garage to the house and presumed to go down the hallway and into the living room to sit down and watch some type of sports program. He flicked on the TV and found a fishing and hunting show on. He sat with a smile as a man cast off his line on the screen.
In the kitchen, Peggy was fixing her usual Frito Pie with WolfÒ brand Chili, in her usual mediocre fashion of course. Bobby was sitting at the table attempting to do his math homework.
"Mom, what is the quad-rat-ic formula?" he asked as he had trouble pronouncing the word "quadratic."
"Oh, well, even though I have substituted many an Algebra class in my day, it seems to have slipped my mind. Why don't you call Connie and ask her?" Peggy asked.
"She's out with her parents having dinner with the Wasonasongs tonight. Believe me, if she was here, I would have had it copied and done by know. Stupid Wasonasongs," he replied.
"Now Bobby, having other people do your work in no way to get through life. How do you think your father if he knew you copied your homework, hum?"
"He would say, 'Duh, is it about Ronald Reagan, Tom Laundary, or propane? If not, I'm not interested, I tell you w-hat.' That is what he says about all my school work."
"Now, now Bobby, your dad just tries. You know he is very tired when he gets home from work."
"I don't know why. All he does is sit there and talk to himself the whole day. I know, I've seen him do it."
"Now that is true Bobby, but he does help support his family. So I would not complain. HANK, supper's ready!" she screamed as Hank came through the door and took his seat at the table. Peggy brought the three of their plates and sat them down, as she herself took a seat. They said grace, then started eating.
"So Bobby, anything knew at school today?" Hank asked.
"Well, the most hil-arious thing happened today at lunch. Clark Peters pantsed Principal Moss, and he pantsed him right back! Then he got suspended for two whole weeks! If only I had a camera…"
"Now see, I always thought that Clark Peters was a trouble maker. I doubt he'll get very far with that type of thinking." Hank replied.
"So, Hank, anything new with the guys in the alley today?" Peggy asked.
"No, not much. Just more of Dale and his asinine JFK conspiracies. I swear, it's almost like that man doesn't shut up about it." he said.
"Now now Hank, you know it's that time of year. The anniversary is coming up, and you know Dale gets all antsy when it gets close. Every year."
"Don't remind me." Hank replied.