|Breaking Down The Randomness Wall
Author: Fanatic97 PM
A Sub series to WG's Wal Mart Story. WHere ANYTHING CAN HPPEN AND EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,269 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 01-18-13 - Published: 07-10-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8307640
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Calvin and Hobbes 1,000 Ways to get kicked out of Wal Mart
Breaking Down the Wall of Randomness
I am warning all who read this, you may lose some brain cells, and pass out from laughter You have been warned
Episode 1, the Revenge of Moe
IT was a Simi warm day in the land of Wal Mart, and such in the prologue, everyone, except Matt and
the others, were bored out of their skulls as they went about their daily Routine of Shopping at Wal
Mart, Several Babies cried in the distance. In the candy aisle, Matt was chugging down about 30 packs of
skittles. Astrid, Calvin, Hobbes, and the Seeker Patrol were all watching him and chanting. "CHUG CHUG
CHUG CHUG CHUG!" All except Crimson Angel (The red seeker who is a girl) cause she is the strong
silent type. Matt, finished off the skittles and grinned. "128 Skittles and I AM STILL READY FOR MORE!"
HE shouted, then grabbed another bag. HE gouged that one own too. Everyone, Except CA, Cheered as
Matt took a bow to his audience. Then there was a strange sound. IT sounded like a large gurgling.
"What is that?" Asked Hobbes. Matt, grinned. "HERE IT COMES!" "Here what comes?" Cried Astrid. C
Clavin, was complaining about Wal Marts Prices, but now he was also looking at Matt. "What is the
strange guy doing. Matt, then held his breath in, then he let it all out. "RAINBOWS!" He cried as he
vomited a Tidal Wave of Rainbow at them. IT washed over them, flooded several other aisles, and even
sent the manger after an inner tube so that he could still work in his office. It flooded out the door and
into the street. The legs of the seekers and everything else in the path of the rainbow, was now…well
rainbow colored. Astrid, Calvin, and Hobbes stared at Matt with wide eyes, as he pulled a moist Toweled
from his pocket and handed it to Astrid. "here you go, now clean yourselves off." "I WANNA SEE THAT
AGAIN!" Cried Calvin, ENCORE ENCVORE!" Both Astrid and Hobbes Gave Calvin a Pants crapping look.
"um, never kind" Matt, wiped off his mouth. "no that we got the random opening out of the way, now
to get down to plot." Hobbes grinned. "Oh, so we are doing my script?" Matt, looked at him. "What
Script?" "The one I passed out, you said for us to come up with some ideas, so I did." "how come I don't
have a copy?" Hobbes looked shocked. "I GAVE SUNSTROM ONE TO GIVE TO YOU!" Matt, looked at
Hobbes. "You gave it to Sunstrom?" "yeah so?" "THE MONTY PYTHON STYLED SUNSTROM!"
Hobbes, blinked then, opened his moth, closed it, then blinked again. "Ohh…crap." Matt, looked at
Astrid and reached out his hand. She smiled and gave him a script. Matt, looked at the title. "The love of
a tiger, a Hobbes/ Haule story." Matt, looked at Hobbes, who looked back at him. He looked up.
THUNDERSTROM!" He shouted? Thunderstorm, whirled around and looked at Matt. "yes sir?" "he
handed him the script. Thunderstorm looked at it. Then he looked at Hobbes. HE extended and arm and
blasted it with his null ray. Hobbes looked at the ashes. "Sorry Hobbes but I have another story in this
series about you getting married. Hobbes Looked up. "REALLY!" He asked. "yes but episode 7." "
Hobbes grin dropped off his face. "But we have a REAL plot to go after." Astrid looked at him. "and that
is?" "Getting Calvin's Memory back." "Calvin spoke up. "My Memory, where has it gone, if it is gone,
GOOD HEAVANS WHAT KIND OF SICKO WOULD BRAINWASH ME!" Astrid sighed, then
grabbed Calvin's hand."Where too boss?" "TO THE INTERNET!" Matt cried. "But we have no
computers." Matt's grin dropped. "Well then… to the sports section!" (Shot of Matt's head doing the
bat symbol, close up thing.) (We all hop into an electronic cart.) Matt, revved up the engine of the cart,
then he floored it, or tried to. The car only went 2 MPH or not even that. They puttered along the aisle
everyone watching them. Several people walked past them. Astrid, looked a t matt. "Can we get out and
walk instead, being cramped in here my these two is making my legs fall asleep. Matt, then gave her a
pants crapping look. Her eyes went wide and then she just went back to watching people walk by,
20 minutes later
The cart, finally reached the sports section. Matt, stopped it with a lurch. "EVERYONE OUT!" He called.
Everyone got out of the shopping cart. Matt, then held up four black masks and a volley ball. "time for a
a game, everyone." Hobbes, eyes went wide."No, NO NO!" "ANY GAME BUT THAT ONE!" "what is the
matter?" asked Matt, "You scared of Calvinball?" "No, its just that, if was crazy when Astrid was in it."
Astrid, folded her arms and grunted. "With you?" "well it's the end of the world." So they started the
game Matt, kept a DEATH GRIP on the Calvinball, so no one could even get a hold of it. Everyone tired to
get the Calvin ball from him. But Matt, had also GLUED it to his hand as well. He was also showing his
sneakiness. By using the Calvin ball to force them to do incredible things. Such as Country line dance, ON
A STACK OF TWLIGHT BOOKS UNTIL THEY FALL OFF! Also, he had Calvin shove his head inside a voyager class Transformers Prime Megatron then reseal it. It took about an hour and a half to get him out. At
one point Bill Watterson walked by, and saw Calvin tiring to eat a tire from the tire section. He came
over to matt. "Are you Matt?" He asked "Yes sir." Matt said. "You know what, your style of Calvin Ball is
AWSOME!" He exclaimed, then double high fived him. Then he glared at Astrid and walked away. She
glared at Matt. "what can I say Astrid, but..yeah I think he still hates you." She was about to give Matt
another pants crapping look, WHEN WHEN WHEN !
THIS MICROWAVE EXPOLDED IN MY FACE! The Microwave immanently exploded in matt's face. Astrid,
looked at him. "maybe this Sub series was a mistake. Everyone in the store glared at her. 'GEE YOU
THINK!" Then, a large fist came into contact with Matt's face, knocking him falt on his back. It was
Moe, who was still burnt from the Transformer attacking him. "ALRIGHT EVERYONE, CLEAR OUT!" He
shouted. Everyone fled the store so it was now just Moe, Astrid and Matt. "you two re going to pay, yes
sir you are going to pay." Moe said. "All the times I have been tortured by you two and your ideas, and
all your SCHEMES well no more, it is moes time now so prepare to burn!" "Run?" Asked Astrid "Run."
Said Matt. IN a flash of smoke they vanished, or just hopped into the cart. "DRIVE MATT DRIVE!"
Exclaimed Astrid. Matt, floored the engine and the cart actually went faster. That's right, now it was five
miles per hour. "OH NO YOU DON'T" Screamed Moe. HE grabbed another electronic cart, and then
grabbed a tennis ball launcher and then mounted it (tee hee) onto his cart then toke off after them.
Moe, aimed his cannon and fired. Tennis balls whizzed around Matt and Astrid's cart. Matt, veered left
and right, but Moe stayed on their tale. They raced into the food section. Moe, fired even more rapidly,
and instead of hitting his targets he hit….everything else. Food, of all kinds went flying,, and the food
was the things that actually HIT Astrid's and Mats cart. They were drenched in soup and covered with
vegetables and bread and Matt actually caught 5 Peanut butter sandwiches made form the falling food.
HE grinned. "Now all I need is some milk. Moe, then shot at them and hit the milk spilling it all over
Astrid and Matt. "thanks." Matt, said as he spit out the milk. "My mother is not going to be pleased."
Stated Astrid. Matt, however was having the time of his life, and he just NOW decided to fire back. He
reached over and grabbed a bunch of twilight DV Ds and threw them like Frisbees. Several of them
clattered to the floor. While a couple actually hit moe. "OUCH YOUR"RE GONING TO PAY FOR THAT
SQUIRT!" Moe shouted. "WHO YOU CALLING SQUIRT, SIX YEAR OLD!" Matt, fired some more DVD's and
then, one sliced off Moe's cannon. It fell back and hit him in the face. But he still kept going. Then, they
went by sporting goods. Moe stopped his cart, then ran towards a counter. "do you think we lost him?"
Asked Astrid, who was peeling the extra food off herself. Then, a bullet whizzed by her head, tearing off
some of her hair. "evidently not." Said Matt. The looked back. Moe had actually gotten a real gun with
about 300 bullets and was now trying to KILL both Matt and Astrid. 'SCREAM!" They both yelled and
over as Moe fired again. Bullets whizzed by and then one hit a wheel on the cart. The cart started to tip,
and to make matters worse, they were about to collide with a bunch o hunting knives. He both
screamed as their cart tipped over and….
We interrupt this fanfic with some breaking news, the president of Viacom, is pig headed retard who
got the stuffing beat out of him and shoved into a drainage pipe. No one cares if he gets out.
We now return you to the fanfic.
Moe and Astrid, stumbled out of the wreckage, cut and brushed, while their cart had not hit the knives,
Matt had done some awesome heroic acts and saved them both form death, by crashing them into a
shelve full of stuffed animals. I really feel sorry for anyone who did not witness those heroic efforts.
Moe, then stepped in front of them. "this ends now, you two shall DIE for all you put me through " Matt
stepped forward. "OH YEAH?' He reached into his pocket. "time to unlash my weapon of ULTIMAT
AWSOMENESS!" He then…pulled out a pea shooter. Moe stared at it and Laughed. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT A LIFE BWHAHAHAHAHHHA, A LITTLE PEA SHOOTER YOU EXCPET ME
TO BE SACRED OF A ALITTLE PEA SHOOTER, what are you going to do, cute me to death?
Bwahahahahaha." Matt, grinned, as he grabbed a dial on the side and he turned it to ¼ power. He then
aimed it at Moes and fired. A lazar about the size of a Wal Mart shelf fired, hitting Moe, and obliterating
his gun. IT traveled throughout the store, vaporizing everything. A McDonalds down the street was
wiped off the earth, mainly because it was punishment for using road kill in their burgers. Matt, let up
on the trigger and looked at Moe. He was completely black and in his hands was the remains of a gun.
(not if Moe had these kind of burns in real life it would be fourth degree and matt would have killed him
because he would of burnt off the skin, just wanted to get that out of the way.) Moe, fainted and fell
over. Astrid stared at Matt. "you don't want to see it on full power. Then Hobbes, Calvin and the seeker
patrol appeared. Astrid, stared at them. "Where did you guys go to?" "we watched avatar on DVD." Said
Hobbes. He stared at them. "it was dumb." Matt, looked at Calvin "do you remember anything NOW
Calvin?" Calvin looked up at him. "nope, but I can tell you this, Avatar is dumb but cool looking, and tires
taste awful." Matt, sighed. "well tem for plan C." Soon they were sitting on chairs in the book aisle while
Calvin read some Calvin and Hobbes Books. "wait," Said Hobbes. "so we did an entire chapter full of
stuff just to end up here at the end of all of it?" "yep pretty much." "Is this going to be like it for ALL of
the chapters?" "most of them yeah." He sighed. "This is going to be a long story. " Matt and Astrid clinked glasses
Okay so I am Not ending this so far, but head my warning. Anyway WG is getting a new laptop so she is going to reboot the story so do not worry and I have a plot explanation for this (We see a shiny re button that says Reset and a glass covering with the words NO NOT TOUCH on it and Above it 1,000 ways to get kicked out of Wal Mart.) SO yeah enjoy and stay tuned for WALLY WORLD!
That is episode 2