"Bring Me To Life"

A/N: Hi everyone! My name is Sinead, AKA on another FF account Klaine And Bow Ties Forever. This is my first time posting a Big Time Rush story, so I'm really nervous! This is going to be Logan angst and will feature mainly Cargan Bromance. I really like this story, so please enjoy :)

Disclaimer: As we all can see this is a fan fiction, therefore the show Big Time Rush is not mine, trust me if it was you'd all know!

Five Years Ago:

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down to my core where I've become so numb

Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home"

A light snow had begun to fall in Minnesota. Standing out in this light snow fall, a large mournful group dressed in black watched with heavy hearts as the hearse drove by with the mahogany casket inside.

Surrounding this casket were beautiful flowers, and wreaths that spelled out 'Mom' and 'Wife'.

As the hearse drew ahead, the crowd stepped out and began their procession through the small town.

At the head of the group a twelve year old boy, small for his age, looked at his feet, snowflakes lightly dusted his raven hair and brushed the shoulders of his too big overcoat.

Next to him stood his three best friends, each one had their arms wrapped around each other, as though holding up one another.

On the other side his father walked, tears streaming down his cheeks as he watched his wife's hearse continue its sad, sorry journey to the local cemetery.

"Logie?" The small raven haired boy looked away from the hearse that held his mom and looked into kind green eyes.

"K-Kendall?" He replied, brushing away the tears that wouldn't cease falling down his pale cheeks.

"We're right here for you; all of us, Carlos, James and me, you won't need to go through this alone."

'Logie' or Logan as he was better known smiled gratefully and squeezed his blonde friend's hand.

On entering the church grounds, the snow grew heavier; right now the entire area was basked in an angelic snowy blanket.

As they all stood around the six foot hole in the ground, the minister began his drone.

Logan hated this, it was all too real, he didn't want to believe that his mother was dead, he refused to.

'It has to be a dream, this can't be real, Mom's not gone, she can't be' his thoughts stated.

However, the truth of the matter was that this entire nightmare was true; his mother had died in a car accident. She was gone. He'd never see her again.

His mind drifted back to the minister as he croaked his piece

"And now, with all the Angels and Saints, we make Joanna Mitchell's body one with the earth, and may God welcome her into His kingdom and watch over her family and friends. In His name we pray"

Several teary sighs circled the crowd and Logan squeezed his eyes shut when he heard his father's heart wrenching sobs.

He felt himself grow panicky as he watched the casket being lowered into the ground. Before he could stop himself, he had lost all sense and dashed forward, "No! NO MOM NO! YOU CAN'T BE GONE NO!" His panicked cries caused his asthma to flare up and he gasped for breath as he was pulled away from the graveside by a strong pair of arms, "D-DAD! P-PLEASE- LET ME GO!"

Next to Mr Mitchell, Joanna's closest friend Jennifer Knight held her hand to her mouth, tears pouring down her cheeks as she watched little Logan's break down.

"Mom?" Kendall whispered squeezing her hand, although he himself was just as alarmed as she and the other gatherers were by Logan's actions.

"I'm alright sweetie" She reassured giving her son a one armed hug.

"D-DAD!" Mr. Mitchell felt his heart squeeze as he gripped onto his struggling son. "Logan, sweetheart calm down, deep breaths- your asthma-"

Logan wouldn't listen, the small boy just continued to flail and cry and gasp.

His three friends were by his side in an instant, one of them in particular, a small Latino, by the name of Carlos Garcia, gripped the panicking twelve year old in a tight hug.

"Logie-Bear shh, it's gonna be okay, Kendall, James and me are right here and we won't let you go, so calm down please" He pleaded.

The urgency in his best friend and 'brother's voice was all Logan needed to make himself calm down, he tried to even his breathing as best he could and took a puff of his inhaler.

Relieved, Carlos gripped him tighter, "Logie, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"Sh- she's really gone" Logan whispered. "She's- she's gone" he buried his tear stained face in his hands as Carlos held him tighter still.

"I- I know Logie," A hazel eyed, brown haired boy whispered. He as well as Kendall towered over the small boy and the Latino.

Seeing how much his son needed his brothers Mr Mitchell stepped away from the huddle and towards the mourners as the minister left the graveyard.

"J- James, I- I just, I don't want her to be gone" Logan sobbed as James took Carlos' place; Logan buried his face in his older friend's shoulder, "Don't want her to be gone."

"I know buddy, I know" James crooned.

As the conversation was going on, the crowd of mourners had departed after offering their sympathies to Mr Mitchell, and now, the young lawyer made his way back over to the boys and took his son's hand in his.

"Come on son, let's go home" His voice was still thick with tears.

Logan nodded tearfully before casting his dark, dark eyes over to his friends and 'brothers'

"C- Can they- can they come?"

Mr. Mitchell looked at the three boys and their parents with soft eyes. "Of course"

"Are you sure that's okay Kevin?" Sylvia Garcia, Carlos' mother asked, not wishing to intrude at such a painful time. Officer Lee Garcia placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Really Kevin, we wouldn't want-"

Mr. Mitchell smiled weakly, "No, please do come over, you too Jennifer and you Brooke, bring the boys, I think company from our closest friends would comfort us a great deal."

"If you're sure" Jennifer said, taking her own son's hand.

"Really Kevin-" Brooke Diamond began, wagging James over to her.

"Please" Kevin looked almost pleading.

Logan nodded gripping Carlos' hand.

"All right then" Brooke finally agreed.

Mr Mitchell nodded gratefully and all the parents and their children climbed into their respective cars and followed Kevin to the Mitchell household.

The snow had picked up quite a bit as the mournful party entered the private estate. In front of them stood the Mitchell's three story house, the name 'Mitchell' painted in black paint on the white washed wall.

Out of all their homes, Logan's was by far the boys favourite. It was always so bright and homey, the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies would always waft out the doors and windows when the boys came to pay a visit, but now that Joanna was no longer there all that could be smelt was must and old age.

The entrance didn't seem as bright, the flowers not as beautiful, in all honesty it seemed that the Mitchell household was alien to everyone present, a shadow of its former self.

"I- I do apologise for the slight mess, I haven't gotten around to cleaning it yet" Mr Mitchell sad sadly.

"That's not important" Officer Lee said softly, placing a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"I- I'll put on some tea" Jennifer offered and Kevin smiled gratefully at her.

Logan turned and made his way up the wrought iron staircase to his bedroom which was on the third floor.

Not only did his bedroom reside here, but so did his music room which held his violin and grand piano, as well as his study/library. As they entered his immaculately clean bedroom, all four boys flopped down onto the large beanbags on his bedroom floor.

For once in their short lives, none of them knew what to say. No words could possibly heal Logan's partially broken heart.

Carlos wrapped his arms around Logan and laid Logan's head on his shoulder, the small boy smiled faintly.

"Thank you guys" Logan whispered

"For what?" Kendall asked his green eyes boring into Logan's brown ones.

"F-For always being here for me, when I need you the most, you never give up on me, so thank you"

Kendall, James and Carlos squeezed the short boy in a group hug.

"And you know we always will be Logie" James said.

"I know you will"

The four friends just sat in silence together for about an hour more before their parents called them and asked them to bid goodbye.

"We'll stop by tomorrow 'kay?" Kendall said hugging him.

"Okay, I love you guys"

"And we love you too Logie-Bear" Carlos whispered.

Then they were gone.

An hour had passed since everyone had left and Logan now got up off the floor and headed downstairs to his parents room.

On entering, he felt tears prick his eyes. Kevin Mitchell sat at the edge of the bed on Joanna's side, tears pouring down his cheeks, a box rested on his lap. Inside that box were all Joanna's things, her necklaces, and perfumes. He held a picture in his hands, the one of the two of them on their wedding day.

"D-Dad?" Logan asked timidly, making his way over to his father and clambering up on the bed beside him.

"Logan" he said his face softening when he saw his son.

"D-Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"We'll be okay won't we?"

Kevin smiled through his tears "We will, I love you son and I swear I'll take care of you."

Logan hugged his father tightly. "I know you will"

And father and son held each other and cried together. Their world had been shattered and it would take forever to piece that world back together again….

Right so that's it for the prologue, please do let me know what you think :) I hope it was all right. Next chapter will be present day all the boys will be 17.