Author: Hoodies and Leather PM
Sid is just about the only person who can make Andy's world make sense. One-shot. Sid/Andy.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Sid P. & Andy D. - Words: 3,233 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 07-14-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8318854
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: This is obviously something new I'm trying out in terms of pairings. Totally didn't see this coming, but I stumbled upon some fics and fan art that really inspired me. I wanna say this is sort of a starting point for something bigger, but I don't want to make any promises. Hope you enjoy this one-shot. Let me know what you think!
Since the school year started, I've made a habit of taking trips to the backyard of one of the abandoned houses on my block. I've been in desperate need of an escape from everything; school, my family, even my usual circle of friends. Everything feels like it's closing in on me at once and it depresses me. The bench swing in the abandoned house's backyard is pretty much the only place nearby where I don't feel like I'm being watched and analyzed. Sometimes I'll even doze off for a few hours before heading back home.
"You always come by here to catch a snooze?"
I yelped and jumped out of my seat, earning a slight chuckle from the man now sitting next to me.
"Relax, dude. I'm not the warden." He lit his cigarette. The orange glow briefly unmasked him in the darkness caused by the twilight. Didn't take me long to use that and the distinct sound of his voice to figure out who he was.
He finished blowing out a large cloud of smoke.
"Yeah," he said, "not a crime for me to be here, right?"
"N-no, of course not."
"You need to chill, man." He said, picking up on my uneasiness. "Why don't you sit down? Standing there and staring at me like that is makin' me nervous."
I was making him nervous? I've known Sid since we were little kids and he's always been so intimidating to me, even during those years in between when I didn't see him. Although now it seems like he's grown out of acting like a maniac in need of ritalin and comes off more as a typical rebellious teenager who doesn't give a shit about much.
I sat down next to him as he took another drag of his cigarette. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I felt compelled to break it.
"So, uh.. what brings you here?"
"Same reason as you, I guess. Needed to get away."
"What are you? A mind reader?" I accidentally asked out loud. I blushed, but he seemed to take it in stride.
"I figure there can't be too many reasons anyone'd wanna come here."
My body's trembling a little bit; not out of fear or anything, moreso out of nerves. I always get so anxious while engaging in social interaction; it's not my strong suit by any stretch. This always happens when I'm with someone I don't want to embarrass myself in front of, or if I'm with someone whose company I enjoy.
Sid's cool demeanor is helping to calm me down. I actually really like listening to Sid talk. His speech is slow and relaxed and his voice sounds so masculine and matured. It's oddly soothing. Never thought I'd ever describe anything about Sid Phillips as 'soothing'. He's lightly rocking the swing back and forth with his legs while reclining against the back of the back of the seat and my feet dangle helplessly above the ground. Usually I'm a little insecure about something like that, but I kinda like it.
I can also feel the warmth radiating off his body and smell the fresh scent of his clothing. It surprises me, I expected him to carry the scent of booze and cigarette smoke.
It's all a bit of a distraction. I hadn't realized he'd been talking this whole time.
"You fall asleep again?"
"Uhh, yeah.." I lied, "Long day."
"Yeah, I hear ya.."
I kinda want to ask him what he means by that, but he probably already explained that while I was 'sleeping,' and I don't want to make him rehash it.
Things go on like this for the next several months; we meet up here every so often, at least once a week and always at night. Sometimes we sit in silence, sometimes we bitch about whatever is on our minds. Sid occasionally brings extra cigarettes, beer and weed with him and offers me some. Cigarettes aren't really my thing. They leave a bad taste in my mouth and my throat always hurts from too much coughing. Sid went easy on me and only mildly made fun of me for it. Smoking weed was kinda fun, but it makes me paranoid and jittery. I already have enough of that when I'm sober. I like drinking beer the most. It takes the edge off and I felt a lot more bold than I have in my life.
This was the extent of our friendship. We'd practically ignore each other during school, only exchanging glances every so often in the halls. But once we were in that backyard, we were each other's best friend.
Then there was one night where things were particularly horrible. It made everything else going wrong in my life seem about a hundred times worse and I felt like I was about to bust at the seams and have a breakdown.
Each day I was becoming more of a pariah in my own circle of friends. We were all growing apart. Well, actually, I was growing apart from them. Becoming well-adjusted young adults seemed to come easy for them, while I was having the hardest time in the world conforming to it. By now all of them had gone through several girlfriends and boyfriends. Me? I was stuck at zero. It's a lot of fun being the oldest of my friends and the least experienced at the same time. When they weren't patronizing me about pretty much everything, they were trying to force me to hang out and do shit with them that I really wasn't interested in to begin with.
It's not like I never gave it a chance, either. I did several times. I forced myself to do all these new things and I wasn't feeling it at all. My greatest efforts to have a good time crashed and burned. I was beyond miserable and kept staring at the clock, wondering how long it would be until I could just go and be unhappy in the privacy of my own home.
My mom acts like it's a crime for me to just stay at home playing video games on a Friday night. Especially when she's aware of my friend's phonecalls going unanswered because I don't feel like coming up with a new excuse as to why I can't make it. She's told me several times, "I'm worried about you." It's because she thinks I'm becoming depressed and she's right to assume that. But forcing me to be social with people who I can't even realistically consider my friends anymore is not the answer, in fact, that's what's going to drive me even deeper.
I don't want to formally end my friendship with these people; they're the only friends I have. Though, I do wonder why they even bother with me anymore. Obviously if we weren't all friends when we were younger, I doubt they'd give me the time of day right now. That's life, though. What are you gonna do? Perhaps I'd be happier if I just let them go. But I know that it's not what I have and don't want, it's what I want and don't have that's making me so dissatisfied with everything.
We were at the mall meeting up with a bunch of friends that they met at some party I decided not to go to. They all go to a different school in a neighboring town. I was already feeling like enough of an outsider, then they proceeded to thrust me into the spotlight and make a big deal out of my lack of romantic experience. I was then grilled by everyone for a good half hour about my life in general. That earned me some condescending remarks and glances from everyone, including my own friends. They even tried making it the business of the entire mall's population by incredulously repeating my answers as loud and as obnoxiously as possible. I'm sure by then my face was bright red from humiliation and rage. Not wanting to subject myself to anymore of this bullshit, I told them I was taking off and walked all the way home. I wasn't even concerned with how believable my excuse was or hiding how hurt they made me feel.
Of course, Sid and I made plans to meet up tonight, so I spent a good few hours debating whether or not I should suck it up and make an appearance or ditch it in favor of bawling my eyes out into my pillow. I went with the former, because it felt like forever since we last met up and I was dead set against letting Sid down, as if he'd really care if I didn't show up, honestly.
I was quickly regretting it when my mood was making it too difficult for me to even speak. Sid wasn't too chatty either. Probably because of me.
"Yo, what's wrong?" Sid asks. I could feel his eyes fixed on me like I'm a time bomb about to blow.
"You seem pissed about something."
"Nah, not pissed." I spoke cautiously to mask the cracks in my voice. I rubbed my hand against my face and combed it roughly through my hair. "I just fucking hate life."
Sid scoffed, "I fucking hate life, too. You don't see me having a breakdown over it."
Normally I just take shit like this, but I was not in the mood for it tonight.
"You know what, Sid? Not all of us are like you and can just say 'fuck the world' and be fine whenever shit hits the fan, so fuck you!"
I got up and began to storm out of the yard.
"Ah, come on, Andy." He called after me, "I was just kidding around!"
I stopped in my tracks. What he said pissed me off so much that I wanted to leave him behind and go home, joke or not. However, I know Sid and he never makes excuses unless he's being honest.
I breathed out an exasperated sigh and returned to the swing.
"Come on, let it out. That's why we're here isn't it?" He sat closer to me and handed me a bottle of beer. It's true that we talk a lot about our lives, but I never discussed anything like this. I always figured problems like these would be filed under 'trivial bullshit' in the Sid classification system, so I never thought to bring them up. But maybe I'd feel better if I just got this off my chest.
After only a few beers, I feel like I can confide my entire life story to Sid. It was strange giving voice to everything I was currently going through; like it was a question as to if they even existed and talking about it now confirms that they do. Lucky for me, Sid has yet to utter a harsh or judgemental word. In fact, he's being really understanding.
He slings his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer while he tells me that I need friends who respect and understand me, not take me for granted. For a second, I wonder if he's only being this nice to me because he's drunk, but I know for a fact that he's not drunk yet. He's had twice as many beers as me, but I'm three times as drunk as he is. No doubt in my mind that Sid's got quite the tolerance.
"I'll fucking knock their teeth out if you want." He says. Takes me a bit to figure out what he means.
"That was really shitty of them to treat you like that. What the fuck is wrong with them?"
"I guess I'm like their punching bag now." I take a long drink from my bottle, "Their little pet they like to fuck around with."
"Yeah? Well they'll reconsider that shit when they hear what I have to say about it."
Was Sid really willing to stick up for me like this? The thought made me feel a ton better.
I keep apologizing for the way I act while I'm drunk, he just laughs and tells me it's fine. His arm is still securely wrapped around my shoulder, but now he's occasionally moving his hand up and down my arm. I wish he'd stop doing it. I like it too much and I feel like I'm about to do something I'm going to regret.
Another beer and my inhibitions are out the window. Next thing I know, my arms are wound tightly around Sid's torso and my head's snug against his chest. Either I'm more drunk than I thought, or he doesn't seem to mind or even notice. He accomodates my position change and starts gently rubbing my back.
This guy is just full of surprises tonight. Apparently, so am I.
"Wish I could have a friend like you," I slur against the dark fabric of his t-shirt, "You're way cooler than those assholes."
"I thought we already were friends." He says slowly as he lifts a half-full bottle to his lips.
"We are, I mean.. like.. I wish we hung out more. This's the only place I see you." I admit. It's a good thing I'm wasted.
"We can always change that, y'know." He suggests.
I take the liberty to grin as wide as possible without him being able to see it. "I'd like that."
"Alright, buddy, let's get you home. I think you earned yourself a good, long night of sleep."
I groan in protest. I wanted this night to go on forever, but he was right. If my mom wasn't sleeping, she's worried sick about me right about now. Sid helped me to my feet. When he saw I couldn't walk in a straight line, much less stand on my own, he walked me home.
"Will your.. will your parents be mad at you?" I ask.
"What do you mean?"
"Will they be pissed you were drinking.. with.. me?" I have no idea why I ask this. For a second, I forgot Sid's home life and I instantly regret bringing it up.
"Ha. I doubt they'll even notice."
"I.. I wish, you know, more nights ended like this." I admit, laughing.
"Oh yeah, how come?" He asks.
"Well, if I was out with my so-called 'friends,' I'd be.. be miserable as ffffuck. But right now, well.. I'm all up against you and drunk out of my mind, so my night's not going so bad, is it?"
"I guess it's not if you don't mind that sorta thing." He smiles down at me.
Even as drunk as I am right now, I'm still mentally kicking myself for being too damn honest. I decide to postpone the inevitable overwhelming sense of embarrassment until tomorrow in favor of enjoying myself while I can tonight.
After what seems like hours of walking, we finally reach my house which is completely dark and devoid of any cars in the driveway. It's a sight I'm relieved to see. I'd really rather not have to explain to my mom why I'm so wasted, much less why I'm hanging onto a tall man in dark, torn clothes.
Sid instantly flips on the lights as if he's been in my house before.
"Let's get you to bed, okay? Where's your room?"
"Second room on the right... just don't make.. too much noise. My sister's in bed."
We slowly head upstairs and make our way to my room. He gently lowers me to my bed. I fall back against the mattress with my feet firmly planted on the ground. I could easily fall asleep just like this. I feel my legs being tugged as Sid pulls the shoes off my feet and lifts my legs onto the bed.
"Hold on a second." He says before silently slipping out of the room. He comes back a few seconds later with a full glass of water. "Drink this."
"What is this?" I ask, even though the answer is obvious.
"Water. It'll help prevent a hangover if you've got some in your system. You're probably dehydrated anyway."
I gulp it all down and lay back again.
"I better get going before your parents come home. Hope you don't feel like shit tomorrow." Sid says as he lightly ruffles my hair and stands up.
I suddenly realize that he's about to leave and all sense of drowziness dissipates at once. "Wait!"
"What is it?"
"Stay. I don't wanna be alone. Stay with me. Please?" I grab his wrist and look up at him, although he's kind of blurry and the room's spinning a little bit. He kneels down next to me and my vision of him becomes clearer.
"Yeah, I can stay if you want." He says quietly, lightly rubbing my forehead. "Your parents won't be mad, will they?"
I close my eyes and smile at his touch. "No.. well.. maybe.. I don't care either way."
He grins, "Okay, I'll be right back, then." He gets up and exits my room again. I briefly worry that he made an empty promise and that he won't be back. Fortunately I'm wrong and I'm relieved to see him walk through my door and silently close it.
"Had to shut off the lights and everything." He tells me as he slips his boots off. I never knew Sid had such a sense of etiquette. "You got a sleeping bag or anything?"
"Yeah, but I was thinking we could share my bed." I said as I moved over and made room for him.
After a second, a smile appeared on his face. "I was thinking the same thing."
He slid into bed next to me and I found my way back to the comfortable position we had on the backyard swing.
I think it was a combination of inebriation, exhaustion and wishful thinking, but as I was drifting off to sleep, I swear I felt Sid kiss me on the cheek. It couldn't really have happened, but the fact that he was still laying beside me the next morning makes me think otherwise.