|Jussy Sonic and the Holy Goblet of Fire
Author: JusSonic PM
Unofficial first sequel to the Keyblade in the Stone. King Tommy and his Knights of the Round Table begin their journey to find the Holy Goblet of Fire with crazy results. Various romances. COMPLETE!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 67,273 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 09-02-12 - Published: 07-14-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8320925
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
JusSonic here, ready to do a co-write with Orange-Ratchet, something that some folks want me to get to for a while but...okay, you get the idea.
Tommy: I am still in this story, right?
Me: Yes, yes, you are. Things can be a big...hecky here.
Tommy: I kinda knew that.
Me: So without further ado, let's get on with it. KingHuffman, I know you're reading this!
Chapter 1: The Quest Begins (Sort Of)
Jussy Sonic and the Holy Goblet of Fire
(Some Spanish stuff but I ain't going into that because I don't speak Spanish. Hey, you folks are even lucky that I am even making this!)
Originally written, but not performing by:
(More Spanish stuff, blab, blab, blab, blab)
Written and personally (Okay, not personally, this is fiction so I won't be in it. Look folks, at least cut me some credit, okay?) performed by-
JusSonic and Orange Ratchet
Røten nik nö Realli Akten hëre Di (Fine you win!)
Tommy Pickles (King Arthur)
Terra from 'Kingom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (Extra)
Danny Fenton (Sir Galahad)
Jimmy Neutron (Sir Bedevere)
Kairi (Witch accused of trial)
Sora (Extra/Person who saves witch)
Luigi Mario (Sir Robin)
Jake Long (Sir Lancelot)
Sabrina Spellman (The Prince that is involved in Lancelot's story)
Sonic the Hedgehog
Kimi Watanabe Finster (Lady of the Lake)
And there are more but who cares about them anyway?
Also also appearing
Also also Wik
Cheese (the imaginary friend)
Ariel, Sora's non-canon girlfriend
Any canon boyfriends of the girls that Danny meet in this fic
Shadow the Hedgehog
Princess Jasmine (as we don't got time for her anyway)
Princess Sally Acorn, Sonic's canon boyfriend
Rose, Jake Long's canon girflriend
You of course
The Mane Six (because they cost too much and I ain't overusing them for anyone)
Ash Ketchum and Misty as they won't appear until the second unofficial sequel.
The cast of Ice Age
Nack and Psycho
Anyone else not listed here but we will try to use some anyway
Camera Operator &
Camera Focus &
Camera Assistant &
Camera Grip THE BOZO WHOM WE PAID OVERTIME TO DO THIS
Lightning A LIGHTSWITCH & FLASHLIGHT
NOT IN COLOR BECAUSE THIS IS FAN-FICTION, HOW CAN YOU SEE COLOR ANYHOW?
Rostrum Cameramn SOME UNKNOWN
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?
Sound Recordist TOONWRITER AS HE MAKE QUACK NOISES
Sound Mixer A TOTAL DRUNK
Boom Swinger WATT ANAIRHEAD
Sound Maintenance A HOSTAGE GAG
Sound Assistant BILLY ARRATTON 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HIM YET
Dubbing Editor WHO NEEDS IT?
Assistant Editors SOME MORE GUYS
Sound Effects S. OFF
See the løveli lakes
Contunity NOT THAT WE WANT TO
Acccountant MONEY LEECHERS
Property Buyer THE AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT
Property Master SCROOGE MCDUCK
Property Men GILLIGAN, THE SKIPPER TOO, THE MILLIONAIRE AND HIS WIFE, THE MOVIE STAR AND THE REST
Catering ANYTHING WE CAN BUG OUR PARENTS TO GET
Vehicles CARS THAT DON'T WORK
The wøndërful telephøne systëm
Assistant Art Director U. SMELLBAD
Construction Manager BOB THE BUILDER
Carpenters THE GUYS FROM HYRULE
Painter LEONARDO DA VINCI
Rigger HEY, WATCH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! THIS IS A PG FIC AND...OH, YOU SAID "RIGGER"; REALLY? OH, SORRY. THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING ELSE. HA HA HA HA; AWKWARD LAUGH.
And mäni interësting fürri animäls
Special extra thanks and profuse apologizes, because we are using characters in this fanmake to:
The Monty Python Crew, Disney, Nickelodeon, the guys behind Kingdom Hearts, Nintendo, J.K. Rowling, and any other company in existence who may or may not be remotely responsible for the making, release, etc. of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, All Grown Up, and anything else in this story.
Made on some website and inside the calm mind and deranged mind as well as computers of JusSonic and Orange-Ratchet
All rights reserved...except for those belonging to other folks.
The Producer likes to thank Python (Monty Pictures) and the other companies for their inadvertent help in making this thing. Yeah, if they know what we're doing, they would either be unhappy or don't car otherwise.
The characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictious. Any similarity to the names, characters or history of any person is really an accidental and is unintentional. In other words, you ISP folks, get off our backs! We ain't stealing nothing or own anything so go waste your time doing whatever you should be doing instead of bugging your customers because those whiners in Hollywood want to take the back door.
So nah nah nah, forget y'all.
Signed NONE OF YOUR BLASTED BUSINESS
Inclüding the majestik møøse
Weird Al Yankovic
A møøse ønce bït mi sistër...
No realli! She wäs Karving hër ïnitïals øn the møøse with the shärpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given tø hër by Svenge - hër brøther-in-läw - än Oslo dëntist and stär of mani Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of än Oslo Dëntist", "Fïllings of Passiøn", "The Huge Mølars of Hørst Nordfink"...
Sorry about the fault for the subtitles. Those responsible haves been thrown out into the streets and DELETED!
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...
Okay, sorry again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for tossing the ones into the streets who are DELETED, have been tossed out and DELETED!
I ønce bït a møøse, büt it wäs ønli becäuse I wäs hungri...
Okay, seriously, who've been hiring these people? What, the economy isn't strong enough anymore? Ahem. Sorry for the fault in the subtitles...again. Those responsible for tossing the people out into the streets and been DELETED who have tossed the folks out into the streets and been DELETED have been tossed out into the streets and been DELETED!
Also, the one who in charge of the entire subtitling whatever you called it for this work has been socked, I think. Once he recovers, he will be tossed out into the streets and DELETED!
Production Manager A MASTER GUY
Assistant Director THE WEIRDO BEHIND THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN FILMS
Special Effects HA HA HA! SPECIAL EFFECTS, SERIOUSLY? HA HA HA!
Choreography SOME GUY WHO DON'T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT DANCING
Fight Director DARTH BEN VALOR
Period Consultant WORD PERFECT
Make up Artists VISION-KING AND BILLY ARRATOON
Special Effects Photography ANOTHER GUY WITH A CAMERA
Animation Assistance THE ACOSTA JOSE RAMIREZ ARTIST
Moose Trained YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA
Lighting Cameraman YET ANOTHER GUY WITH A CAMERA
Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL
Designer DE MAN WIT DE PEN
Møøse choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG
Møøses noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER
Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN
Suggestive poses for the møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER
Authors of 'Jussy Sonic and the Holy Goblet of Fire' JusSonic and Orange-Ratchet
Møøse toilet-trained by SVEN YAGERHERGENØVEN
Møøse trained to dance the lambada and do the hokey-pokey by HEIDI EVENHØVER
Recipient of a møøse bite in the behind DORF BJØRNENHURGENBITTEN
The ones working on this story and the ones who hired the firm to continue the credits after the ones who had been tossed out into the streets and DELETED, would like you to folks to know that they have been tossed out into the streets and DELETED
The remaining credits will be made in an entirely different style, at great expense and it pretty much annoys the heck out of us, and at the last minute too.
The producer also wishes it to be known that whoever follows this message is not his doing. If the credits turn out to be lame and stupid like the ISP spying thing, those responsible will be tossed out into the streets and be DELETED!
JUSSONIC & ORANGE-RATCHET the Orange-Sora
(They are authors folks)
TOO MUCH TO LIST HERE! SERIOUSLY, WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE CREDITS FOR THESE STORIES? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! NO WONDER FOLKS COMPLAIN ABOUT IT. Ahem, the last one on the list is JusSonic himself. Thank you.
Person whose name appears in the credits the most often - heck if I know; I lost track after the first tossed out and DELETED announcement.
Person who made a lot of fanmakes and is getting badgered by folks who thinks they are overrated:
Toongland 932 AD
Our story begins to a foggy scene as we can hear hoof beats. As it lifts slightly (but it is still foggy, no kidding), we can see the king of all Toongland Tommy Pickles riding...err...on...okay, fine! He's hopping, okay? The boy is prancing around like a school girl. Ugh! Honestly, who write these things anyway?
Tommy hops down a small hill with a man in a loincloth named Tarzan banging two coconut halves together. That doesn't sound like a real horse, they're riding on grass! They sound like a horse trotting on cobblestones.
Of course, if we want to, we would've put the Mane Six and other Equestrian ponies in but we said in the credits not to, so let's not get into that; Besides...
"GET ON WITH IT!" Terra, Tommy's adopted brother, snaps as he appears on screen. "You're wasting time and patience!"
Sorry. Anyway, Tommy stops. Ahem! I said 'Tommy stop'!
"Whoa, whoa," Tommy exclaims as he stops while Tarzan stops banging the coconuts.
"I don't see what's the point in doing this." Tarzan said while holding the coconuts in concern. "We should be respected enough for this legend."
"I agreed, but we have to follow the script." Tommy snaps. Terra and the boy's adopted father Master Araquis arrives along with one of the boy's friend and the one who witnessed Tommy being king Aragon, catching up to him. "Ahem, you're lagging, Terra. Aren't you riding?"
"No offense, Tommy, but we want to have some dignity." Aragorn said with an annoyed sign. "Thank goodness my brother isn't here. Sauron would never let this go."
"So where are we?" Master Eraquis ask Tommy with a frown. "We are supposed to be going around, recruiting knights to our cause.
"We're here!" Tommy exclaims as he points to a castle in front of them...that they miss. Honestly, how in the blazes can they miss that? It's right in front of them for crying out...
"GET ON WITH IT!" Some of the heroes yell at the author in annoyance.
Fine, you win. So our heroes stare at the castle for a few minutes, approaching it with caution. Then they stop as someone is heard saying, "Halt."
Tommy's group looks up to see some guy in a fez wearing 19th Century like clothes appearing on top of the castle. His name was Monsieur Papierwaite.
"Who goes there?" Papierwaite demands to the newcomers.
"What, JusSonic is using less characters for cameos in this one?" Terra asks Master Eraquis and Aragorn who shook their heads at this.
"Ahem, it is I, King Tommy Pickles, son of Stu Pickles from the castle of Cartoonelot." Tommy explains to Papierwaite in determination.
"Really," Tarzan asks Tommy in confusion. The king of course ignores him.
"I am the King of the Toontons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all Toongland!"
"Ugh, that is too much titles," Terra groans to Tommy in annoyance. "Can't you at least say 'I'm King Tommy'? Honestly, you weren't this high and annoying when I used to bully you around before you were king."
Tommy glares at Terra while adding, "This is my brother Terra, my adopted father Master Eraquis and my ally Aragorn of the Men, who are travelling with me. Anyway, we are allies looking for..."
"Oh please, give me a break!" Papierwaite scoffs a bit at Tommy, interrupting him.
"Hey, come on, I am the king and these are my allies! This guy in the loincloth is my trusted servant, Tarzan!"
"King of the Apes, jungle, and has no shirt." Tarzan mumbles a bit.
Tommy sighs, shaking his head while continuing, "Anyway, we have ridden..."
"Actually, we hopped." Aragorn points out to Tommy much to the boy's annoyance. Why must his friends and adopted family contradict everything that he's saying?
"...we travelled the length and breadth to find knights who will join me in my court of Cartoonelot. I wish to speak with your lord and master."
"Right, now then, tell him we are here so we may ask him for his help in our round table." Master Eraquis said proudly. Whoever owns this castle must be a great and powerful one indeed!
Of course, Papierwaite blinks a bit as he asks, "So you came in ridden on a horse?" Tommy nods at that, making the man laugh. "Ha! You are using coconuts!"
"What?" Tommy asks in surprise. His friends try their best not to giggle at what happened. Just when did the king is losing control of this matter?
"Come on, you are using two empty halves of a coconut! You're just banging them together for crying out loud!"
"Come on, we have ridden since it was winter, buddy!"
"Wait, we did?" Tarzan asks Tommy in confusion. "I thought..."
"Tarzan, please, I will handle this!" Tommy interrupts Tarzan impatiently. "We travelled through the kingdom of Knothole; to..."
"Wait, hang on, sorry to interrupt but where did you get those coconuts?" Papierwaite ask Tommy, making the boy blink a bit.
"Uh, we found them."
"What, in Knothole? But coconuts are tropical!"
"What the heck you are talking about?" Tommy asks Papierwaite in confusion.
Aragon shrugs as he explains, "The coconut is a fruit that grows tropical climates, like those found very close to the Equator. Now since Toongland is not a tropical zone, we can't find coconuts here."
"Right, it's a temperate zone." Papierwaite said in agreement.
Tommy is getting fed up with the pointlessness of this conversion, wanting to speak to the master and suddenly the whole thing is turning to coconuts. The king explains, "Come on, the swallow may fly south with the sun, or the mouse martin or anyone who wants to seek warmer climates in the winter...yet they aren't strangers to our lands!"
"Wait, so are you saying that coconuts migrate?"
"Oh give me a break!" Master Eraquis exclaims in annoyance. "This is supposed to be a story of a legendary king, not stupid hour!"
"Okay, I feel like stabbing the one who made this script." Terra remarks with a grunt.
"No way; they can be carried!" Tommy explains to Papierwaite, not hearing what his adopted family is saying.
"A swallow carrying a coconut," Papierwaite ask Tommy in confusion.
"Well, it could grip the thing by the husk."
"But the question is what grip it, the question is of weight! There is way that a five-ounce bird can carry a one pound coconut!"
Master Eraquis, Terra and Aragorn look in shock and disbelief. Tommy is having enough of this. He demands, "Forget it! It doesn't matter anymore! Just get going and tell your master that King Tommy of the court of Cartoonelot is here!"
Unfortunately, Papierwaite kept up the subject as he continues, "Listen, mortal, in order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow got to beat its wings 43 times a second, right?" The others in Tommy's group looks annoyed, wanting to leave right now.
"Will you just please..."
"Am I right?"
"Oh, I am not really interested in that!" Tommy exclaims in frustration.
Just then a huge cockroach in a white coat and wearing a security hat, came in while asking, "Can I suggest something, Papierwaite? Maybe it could be carried by an African swallow! That would be something to tell Stinky, my girlfriend?"
"Oh right, Sal. Maybe an African swallow, but not an European one!" Papierwaite snaps to Sal in annoyance. "That's what I'm trying to explain here."
"Yes, of course, that's what I agree with!"
"I am not going to ask again!" Tommy sighs a bit. If these two guys won't let him see the master of this castle, the king and his group will just leave. "Will you ask your master if he can join my court at Cartoonelot?"
"But boss, then again, African swallows are nonmigratory." Sal said to Papierwaite. Tommy groans in annoyance. He has had enough.
"Tarzan, guys, come on, let's go."
"They wouldn't bring back a coconut anyway."
"Right, apparently there is no intelligence here." Tarzan remarks as they and the other rode...okay, used coconuts and pretend to ride horses while leaving. Terra, Master Eraquis and Aragorn roll their eyes at what happened.
"Right," Papierwaite said to Sal, not noticing that Tommy has lost interest and leaves.
"Since when did the folks of Toongland suddenly became so..." Aragorn begins to say with a sigh, a bit concerned by what happened.
"...less intelligent; Yeah, well get use to it in this story," Terra remarks to Aragorn with a frown, "There will be more stupidity later. These guys do know their swallows though."
"Wait, I got it!" Sal exclaims to Papierwaite, still noticing that the others are leaving. "Maybe two swallows can carry it together!"
"No, no, that's impossible; they got to have it on a line!" Papierwaite exclaims to Sal in annoyance.
"But Monsieur Papierwaite, it's so simple. They would just use a strand of creeper, whatever that is."
"Held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"
"Sure, why not?" Sal asks Papierwaite with a shrug.
Papierwaite suddenly looks down, seeing that the group is gone. The man sighs, "Oh great, more gone. Why is it that this happens when we're having these conversions?"
That's the first chapter! Do you enjoy it? Pointless, yeah, but it works. In the next chapter, we see a man pulling cart full of dead people, Sauron appears and a song is performed from Spamalot.
Sauron: (annoyed) Do I have to make myself a fool here?
Me: Get used to it. Read, review and suggest. Orange-Ratchet, it's your turn for the next chapter.