Chapter 7

Oh my god! I run out into the patio trying my upmost best to process what I have just seen. My breathing irregular and shallow, Oh fuck! What have gotten myself into with this… this... god I don't even know what to call her anymore! My knees falter and I grab the railings to steady myself. Images of the room flash through my mind. I feel bile rise up in my throat and I retch letting it all out on the soil mirroring the patio. I don't know if it was disgust or shock that caused me to hurl and I really didn't care. Sound of quickened heels on the wood flooring causes me to stiffen with fear and panic

"Emma…" the quickened sound of heels become nervous and slow as it moves towards him

"Don't say a damn word Regina"

"Now you know why I'm not the woman for you" I turn to look her, my anger visible on my face and in my eyes. I'm surprised I can even look at her "This is why you should have stayed away from me"

"Yeah I'm beginning to see that now" her face grimaces with hurt. My expression softens as I realise what I've just done but I can't help but feel disturbed and shocked at what I have just discovered about the woman I have so many feelings for

"I'll arrange for the helicopter to take you back to Albany tomorrow morning you're welcome to stay in one of the guest rooms" She begins to walk back toward the door; I've hurt her feelings.

"Regina…"

"After tomorrow you'll never see or hear from me again" She turns and walks dejectedly back into the house. I cover my face with my hands, my heart breaking uncontrollably. Oh fuck this! I walk in hurriedly after her and grab her arm just as she reaches the door of her study

"I want to talk about this Regina" She glances down at my hand on her arm then back at my face, my heart breaks all over again as I take in the pained look on her face "Please" She nods softly, I let go of her arm and follow her into the study. We sit down opposite each other; I suppose the only way I'm going to understand what I saw in that room is to speak to the person who obviously enjoys what is there.

"Since you did the NDA you're free to ask any questions you wish" this was going to a very interesting and uncomfortable conversation for both of us

"Why?"

"Because it gives me pleasure" She's like to hurt people. Oh god… the very thought of her hurting a man or a woman saddens me

"You're a sadist?"

"No I'm a dominant, a sadist likes to cause pain whilst a dominant likes to control"

"What does that mean in layman terms?"

"Its mean that I want you to willing submit to me in all things" my mind in overdrive as I try to understand and get to grips with the idea

"Why me?"

"Because I want to do this with you"

"And what is it exactly that I have to do?" the moment the question left my mouth I was scared to hear the answer. Did I really want to get mixed up in such a lifestyle?

"I have a set of rules and you have to conform to them. They're for your benefit and my pleasure. You follow the rules you get rewarded, you break them you get punished" I swallow a lump that had formed in my throat

"And that's where all of that…" She nods. I stand up and begin to pace. I need to order my thoughts quickly in order to get to grips with Regina's lifestyle

"It's both reward and punishment"

"So you get yours by exercising control over me"

"It's about gaining your trust and respect in order to let me exert my control over you. The more you submit the greater my pleasure, it's a very simple equation"

"And what you I get out of this?"

"Me" She shrugs and looks up at me apologetically. The more I think about it, the more I realise she is all I want damn the consequences but the whole idea of being submissive to her is still nagging at me "You're being very quiet Emma"

"Take me back down there" She looks up at me in disbelief before steadily standing from her chair. She offers me her hand and I take it. We move silently from the study, back down the stairs and back into that room.

I take a good look around the room feeling a little more relaxed to be in here. The smell of leather, polish, wood and apples ensnare them senses, I find it pleasant. The lighting is low and muted; I can't see the source most likely in the corners. The walls are black and burgundy, the ceiling and floor solid wood. There is large wooden St Andrew's Cross Well that's what it reminds me of anyway fastened to the wall with restraining cuffs on each corner. There is a sizeable iron grid appended from the ceiling, with a number of ropes, chains and shackles. On the wall by the door there a series of steel robs, with an assortment of paddles, whips, canes and riding crops suspended from them. There are drawers lining the far left wall there is a rather hefty oak chest of drawers, all of them designed as if they were to contain specific objects as if they were from a museum. Do I really wanna know what's actually in those drawers. In the far right corner there is a leather hammock/sling a couple of feet from the wall. There is also a wooden stand near the sling with what looks like medical restraints fixed on the edge of table behind it. However what dominates the room is a king sized four poster bed with a flat top- probably late nineteenth, early twentieth century. Under the canopy I can see more cuffs. There is black bedding on the bed with red satin cushions and pillows at one end. So this is Regina's version of soft and romantic.

My subconscious has been struck dumb by this room and what goes on in this room. What can I say to her? I want to try this?Can I do this in order to have her? I don't think she'll hurt me, well, not without my consent anyway but does that make it any easier for me to trust her?

"Please say something Emma" Abigail was right; Regina is dangerous, very dangerous. I am so out of my depth. "You know I'm not going to hurt you don't you?" I hear the honesty in her voice, an honesty that makes me realises I would do this to have her, I would do anything to have her

"I know" I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around me, a warm body pressed against me. I sigh and relax into the embrace. The hands wonder over my stomach, over my ribs and across my breasts. I bite my lip to suppress a moan; lips attach themselves to my neck altering between sucking and biting. I think she's intent on giving me a fucking hickey "Regina…"

"If you're going to do then I need to show you something else" What more could there be to see! What else does she have in this house! I groan as the lips detach my neck and arms unwrap themselves from around me, one hand grasping mine and leading me out of the room and back up the stairs and into the foyer. She lets go of my hand and locks the door to the stairway before reaching for my hand again and taking me up the main staircase to the second floor. I stop myself from glancing into the master bedroom. She stops outside what I can only presume to be a guest room; she opens it and pulls me inside with her. The furnishings are as I expected all modern. There is a queen size bed, all in black, a walk in wardrobe, a couch near the window that overlooks the garden. "This will be your room, you can decorate however you wish; have whatever you like in here"

"Wait! You want me to move in here? What about Boston?" I can't hide the surprise in my voice. She isn't joking either

"Not full time just Friday evening through till Sunday and I'm thinking about giving my apartment up in Boston and moving here full time. We will need to talk about this, negotiate if will, especially if you are do this" she says, her voice a mere whisper and hesitant

"I have to sleep in here?"

"Yes you do"

"Why not with you?" I cannot keep the sadness from my voice I utter this question. I want to feel her breasts against my back every night; I want to feel her breathe against my neck, her arms around my waist. I feel disheartened by this

"As I've told you I don't sleep with anyone, except with you when you're befuddled with drink" her tone is icy and chastising.

"Where do you sleep?"

"My bedroom is down the hall but I lock the door every night so don't get any ideas"

"Wouldn't dream of it" my voice hard and emotionless. She doesn't flinch at my tone which doesn't surprise me.

"Come" she takes my hand and leads my back downstairs and into the main living room. As I find a seat I'm filled with a deep anxiety. I'm on the edge of the cliff and I don't know if I should take the jump "Sit" I obey her command, knowing full well I'm going to have to get used to it. "I'm well aware that this is a dark path that I'm leading you down, which is why I want you to think about this Emma, I know you must have more questions"

"You mentioned more paperwork?"

"Indeed"

"What is it?"

"A contract saying what we will and what we won't do. I must know your limits and you mine. This is consensual Emma"

"And I can't do this?"

"That's… fine" she says carefully her words laced with sadness

"But we won't have any kind of relationship?" I ask wary of the answer

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because this is the only kind of relationship I'm interested in"

"But why?"

"Why is anyone the way they are? That is one question I find hard to answer Emma. Why do some people like musical theatre and why do some prefer opera?" We're now talking about people's theatre preferences? Way to distract someone!

"What are the rules I have to follow if I do this?"

"I have written down. Would you like to go through them now?" I shake my head. I'm suddenly feeling tired, maybe it's mental I don't know but all I know is is that I need to sleep.

"I'm tired Regina I would like to sleep on this before we discuss it further"

"Of course" we both stand up, neither of us knowing what to say. She takes my hand and pulls me into her, trapping me in her arms. I look into her eyes and see her hidden sadness over this entire situation; she doesn't want to lose me. I bring my arms up sliding them over her shoulders and around her neck "Emma…"

"Sshh" I lean down and catch her lips in mine, kissing her with a gentleness I didn't know I possessed. I clasp the back of her head with one of my hands holding her there as deepen the kiss slipping my tongue into her mouth capturing hers and stroking it with my own. I feel her hands grip my shirt as our tongues engage in a battle for dominance. Oh god! I'll do it if I can do this every weekend! I'll fucking become her submissive or whatever! She forces me back towards the couch and pushes me down on to it climbing on top of me, her hands now hurriedly undoing my shirt buttons. She moves her mouth down and under my chin before resting it just above my bra- restrained breasts. I tangle my hands in her hair as she sucks and bites on the area in question "Oh god Regina we have to stop" Regina pulls away breathless, confused and ever so slightly peeved

"You ok?"

"I thought you said that if I didn't agree to be your whatever I'm supposed to be that we wouldn't have kind of relationship and right now we're bordering on having sex without whips and chains" Regina pulls away, still straggling me. I can see it in her eyes she didn't want to lose me. But was that enough her to give up her playroom and the pleasure it brings her? Or would she be unfaithful to me and get a submissive mistress on the side to play with? Could I handle knowing I would have to share her with that other person whether it be a man or a woman? She stands up and looks down at me, my shirt still unbuttoned, my chest heaving and my bra firmly on show.

"I can't…" I close my eyes and nod. I knew that she would never just settle for plain old vanilla lesbian sex. I stand not bothering to button up my shirt and walk towards the living room door. I stop and turn to look at her, her back was to me. She was hiding her emotions, how screwed up she was at this moment

"Just so you know" I feel utterly embarrassed but she had the right to know "I'm still a virgin" I walk away as fast as my feet would carry me up the stairs scared to see her face. As I reach my door I hear a scream from the living room

"FUCK!" I close my eyes and hurry into my room quickly discovering I have a lock on my door which I lock in lightning speed, silently praying that Regina does not have a key but even if she did she would I have kept the key in the lock making it hard for her to open from her side.

I slip out of my shoes, jeans and shirt and climb between the satin sheets. Sleep does not come easily to come me as I recall the night's event. How can such a beautiful woman have such a demon lurking underneath the surface? My tiredness finally catches up with me and I finally fall into a troubled sleep knowing that tomorrow holds a whole new series of challenges.