Author: Emily-Of-Midgard PM
You see, there's a very loose use of the word 'family' available. I mean, look at half of us. We have no family. That's why we have to stick together when times get tough. Oh, by the way, I'm Sawyer. Paul Sawyer. Back story for 'Family Ties'Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,443 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 02-26-13 - Published: 07-16-12 - id: 8325539
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Family Legends
Summary: You see, there's a very loose use of the word 'family' available. I mean, look at half of us. We have no family. That's why we have to stick together when times get tough. Oh, by the way, I'm Sawyer. Paul Sawyer. Back story for 'Family Ties'
Author's Note: It's four where I am, this seems like a fantastic idea. I'm so sorry. I wanted to get some ideas flowing for 'Family Ties' and somehow, this happened. This is little more than an experiment right now, so tell me what you think.
I am so tired.
Oh my god, this is a horror movie waiting to happen.
Except, you know, this isn't in Pennsylvania, and she's not a ravenous beast (as of right now, but I've seen Allie Harker do some pretty badass stuff when she's hungry.) and while I am a cool, southern gunslinger, I don't have a list of snappy one liners. I really need to get a book filled with those. I-
She's not nice when she's mad. I should know. I'm Paul Sawyer, chief inspector of pissing Allison Harker off. Neither is she nice when I'm not paying attention to what she's saying when she's already hot and miserable from the southern heat.
"Yes boss?" I Say, sitting up straighter and trying to look attentive. She doesn't buy it. She rarely does.
"I do wish you'd stop staring off into space like that. Why can't you be more useful, like Mr. Quatermain?"
Yup, I defiantly pissed her off this time. Wonder what Quatermain did that made her think he's the Queen of Shiva. Most of the time, he's been banished to the metaphorical couch/literal sleeping bag by her. Maybe he proposed or something. I wonder what with…a blood diamond!
Yeah, I defiantly need that book of jokes.
She sits back and fans herself. My aunt is usually pretty up to date about the current members of the League and has refreshments for them/doesn't attempt to burn them up. However, my moron of a best friend Finn broke it when he was over last. I never saw somebody hurt somebody else as my aunt did to Finn with that rolling pin. She must have channeled the hardboiled detective from those penny dreadful things she reads.
You know, thinking about it, I could always take a leaf out of their books and become 'P.S', badass long coat wearer and private detective. They always get the girl, or should I say 'dame'-
"DAMN!" I yell as she smacks a magazine down on my head. Not just any magazine. My cousin's Cosmopolitan. There is a LOT of stuff in that thing. Me and Finn looked in one of those once at the grocery store. We could only bleach the stuff we learned out of our minds with some good old fashioned cart racing in the parking lot.
The cops didn't find it nearly as funny as we did.
She's glaring at me again enough for me to notice three things: One, her eyes are red. That is never a good sign. Zwei, she's really mad at about something, and I don't think it's me or Quatermain, which leads to þrír, Beth Holmes is in town. Nothing makes her madder than that Mr. Freeze/Sherlock Holmes lovechild coming into town. She has only brought us missions that have caused us pain, suffering, and jaywalking.
"Look, I don't need you zoning out today, Sawyer," Wow, for her, that was a pretty good use of relatively modern day slang. Hurray for her. "Beth Holmes just arrived along with the higher ups telling me that we have to go 'greet' a new member."
Bingo. Not only do we have to recruit/kidnap some new co-worker/unfortunate soul with nobody else to turn to but the British government despite being American (?), but it's on the higher ups orders. Allie hates them. She simply wishes to be left be. From what I hear, she's either mad about how Mina Harker became less of a leader after Allen Quatermain joined up (Yet that didn't stop them from…well…you get the drift) or she had her own 'M/random letter of the day on Sesame Street' debacle. Either way, this wasn't going to make the Sawyer family position of 'Royal Recruiting Officer' more fun.
You know, I'm starting to think that we were just tacked onto the League just to get a token American on board.
Neither I nor Allie stayed long after that. She gave me a ride to the bus station in her (thankfully) air conditioned car and she gave me a one-way ticket to New York. The girl was named Ruby Skinner and she had been living in the United States since she was three. I managed to find her apartment pretty easily, shockingly enough. I'm not the best at directions. It was a tiny place, dirty and grimy in the bohemian section of town. I pulled the file with information out of my pocket and read it for a moment.
I heard a yell and I looked up. The window had flown open. I was hopelessly confused for a second and then it hit me. Literally. Something hit me and whatever it was, it was wriggling around like it was a person. And then it hit me.Again. It punched me in the face. I sat back up, swaying back and forth watching the little birdies chirp around my head and happened to notice a gunman, or woman as I recognized my old friend Sibella Moran, taking aim. Something pulled me out of the way before the bullet could make a nasty imprint in my head.
"What are you doing here!" A female voice whispered in my ear.
"Euugh…?" I said to the lady ghost that had just saved my life. I heard an annoyed sigh.
"You're a League rep right? Oh, never mind. We have company." The lady ghost pulled me to my feet and dragged me down the street, avoiding bullets at every turn. Eventually, we reached an alleyway where we scared an old bum half to death and we had a chance to rest.
"I'm going to assume you're Ruby Skinner and not a ghost lady?" I said, doing my best to act like a cool private detective. Perhaps it was the lack of a long coat that did me in, but I didn't sound very cool.
"You're right on that, but you could call me 'ghost lady' if you want." She said, sounding out of breath. "You're a League rep, are you not?"
"Yep. Recruiting to 'keep you from harm's way', yet you seem to have already met him." I said. She laughed a laugh that actually sounded genuine. It was the first time I had attempted to make a girl laugh and she did.
"Oh yep, The Moriarty syndicate just loves to torment me."
"Why? You know, apart from the whole 'invisible woman' thing." I said.
"Oh, I may have stolen the beginnings of a time machine from under their noses. I kind of enjoy anything involving H.G Wells. It's kind of my shtick." She said easily. I nodded, impressed.
"I know. Look, I know you're probably used to forcing people to come with you, but could we wrap this up and go to England or your magical boat or whatever. More assassins are coming, I am not wearing any clothes and you have neither a weapon nor an undamaged nervous system." She said as she took my hand and ran out of the alley, avoiding gunfire for the second time today. Come to think of it, today had started with horror movie character Dracula and was now ending with horror movie character The Invisible Man.
What would tomorrow bring?