This story chronicles the best male friendship I have ever had the pleasure and pain of having. This tells the story of how I met and fell for a boy who will never understand how much i care about him..The last portion of this story happened exactly a year ago. Please go easy on me, this story is very true and I cried writing it.

It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone- Florence and the Machine

It was extremely hard to explain. She didn't just randomly wake up one morning and say "Liking Josh Hotz is a the thing to do!" No, not even. And it had nothing to do with the fact that Massie had liked him, or because he was her ex's friend. Nope. It didn't happen like that.

It all started that September.

He had known that Claire had a brief summer fling with Cam, his best friend, his neighbor. That was how he first saw her. The first day of school Cam had given her a big hug right in front of him. But she didn't pay attention to Josh. It wasn't until Cam accused Kristen of having a crush on him because she had noticed Josh in all of her classes. Ironically, that began his super close friendship with the athletic blonde. It began his friendship with Claire because she and her friends began talking to Josh in class, through Kristen. By then, she was over her failed relationship with Cam, who only cared about getting in Alicia's pants.

And then, Massie began her infamous crush on Josh Hotz.

Needless to say Claire was jealous. It full on terrified her when Massie proudly said she broke up with her middle school boyfriend to be with Josh. But as quickly as Massie followed Josh to practice, and force-fed him health bars, the quicker he told Alicia that he had no interest in being with her best friend Massie. And just as fast, Massie was over it.

Claire would never forget that day. Not because it meant Josh was fair game, or because it was her first Homecoming, but because it was it was the first time he had ever called her pretty. It came as a shock, and he looked at her in a way that told her he was serious. And that was when she felt her tough exterior cracking.

A week later at Skye Hamilton's 17th birthday sleepover, she concluded that she actually liked him. Of course, it had to be dragged out of her, but she admitted it to her older friends who encouraged her to "Go for it."

She was totally into Josh. Claire would text him almost everyday, she lived for the days she got to sit next to him in class. She hated her teacher for separating them because she most took their banter as bullying. Although she learned soon enough, that it didn't mean anything.

He got back with his ex, Nina. She hated it, because he'd never talk about her, and he'd tense up if Claire or Kristen ever said her name. She guessed he didn't have to gush about her when they had been together for so long. It really messed her up. She was at a lost when she saw their renewed relationship online. He and Nina had the worst back and forth relationship. "She's my best friend." he claimed. Claire thanked god that Nina went to one of the other schools in town, so she never had to see them together. Knowing he was taken was hard enough.

But she had been warned. Alicia and Layne, who went to middle school with Nina had warned her about falling for Josh because he was hopelessly devoted to Nina. But she did. And not that Claire would ever admit it to him, and boost his ever growing ego, Josh Hotz was very hard to get over.

And for the next few months he and Nina would tease Claire by breaking up, getting back together and breaking up again. But then next thing Claire knew, Nina and her friends were rolling into the gym for his games, rocking there opposing team colored cheerleading uniforms. It was sick. Especially when Claire knew that Nina was on to her crush on her boyfriend. Or at least according to Alicia, someone had told her.

"I met Kemp Hurley at a party, and he said that he thinks we are way prettier than Nina." Kristen informed Claire, late Saturday night. "And I saw Olivia Ryan. She said that in their choir class, Nina always talks about how she thinks our Facebook wall post to Josh, are annoying."

Claire could careless about what other though about her. She wanted to know how Josh felt. What did Josh she in her? He had always sent mixed signals, always keep her guessing.

It was always the little things.

Like that one summer night.

Guess whose going to see Britney Spears! She posted on Facebook. She got a couple likes, a few "Jealous!" comments, but more importantly, she got a comment from Josh. She was surprised, she had texted him earlier to tell him that one of those shows about crazy obsessions was on TV. He had told her to let him know if it had happened. And she never passed an opportunity to speak to him. Especially when she was limited to Josh time in the summer.

She had texted him instead of replying to his comment. Maybe because she wanted to drag out their conversation. Maybe because she liked the privacy she had when they talked on the phone. They chatted, and he bought up her lover of her favorite singers, shocking her when he said it was hard not to know, it was all she talked about.

He listened.

They talked about her relationship status, she diverted it to talking about how Alicia had hooked up with Kemp, who had denied it. They talked about the following school year. They talked all night. He called Nina by accident. And although she tried to ease the awkward mistake by telling him about Nina's major dislike of her and Kristen, it was lost.

Four hours, three minutes. 10:00 pm. to 2:04 am..

Then they didn't speak. Not even when she saw him at the fair with his arm thrown over Nina's shoulder. She tried, but it was too hard. She chickened out. She texted him later own, per Layne's request. They talked again for about two days before they went silent again.

Then the wicked cycle began.

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