Chapter 1: Unwanted Love

I stood alone, in the middle of the dark, padded cell room. My body twisted and turned as I tried desperately to get out of my straightjacket, only to be rewarded by painful cuts around my wrists and neck. I screamed loudly; mostly out of frustration and anger than pain.

A loud banging sound came from my cell door. A familiar face of a female orderly appeared through the small bars of the door.

"Quiet down in there, Leena. You don't want to be sedated again, do you?" The woman asked, harshly.

I growled at her, but didn't say anything.

Fuck you, bitch! I thought to myself.

She stared at me with cold, harsh eyes for a few moments, then she turned and walked away.

God, I hated her! I hated everyone in this fucking place! What did I do to deserve to be in this living hell? Okay, sure, I did murder a few people. But they had it coming for them! Nobody can understand how it feels to be the way I am. To be trapped in a child's body your whole life, all because of some stupid, rare disorder.

Every day at the Saarne Institute was the same; wake up, eat, then go back to bed to start a new day of the same endless routine. The only human contact I received was from the doctors and orderlies, who occasionally checked on me every few hours, and helped me take baths and use the restroom. (This was also the only time I was allowed to leave my cell).

I hate my life!

I laid down, on top of my bed, staring up at the blank, white ceiling. I wasn't that tired, but with nothing else to do, I closed my eyes as I tried to fall asleep on the uncomfortable cot . . .

I screamed in pain and in fear as my father's hands gripped tightly on my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. His dark eyes stared into mine. They were full of hate and lust. He pressed his lips against mine. The smell of booze on his breath was so strong; it almost made me pass out.

Oh, how I wanted so badly to pass out! To be consumed in nothing but absolute darkness, so I would no longer feel the excruciating pain I was feeling now. I should've been used to it now though. Every day and every night, for as long as I could remember, I endured this same, exact pain, this same unwanted love from him.

I pushed myself away from his grasped. He then slapped me across the face. I winced as I gently placed a hand over my now fiery, red cheek.

He then grabbed my hair and dragged me over to a mirror that was hanging on a wall. He shoved me into it, forcing me to stare at my reflection.

"Just look at yourself, Leena," my father sneered, "No man on earth could love you like I do! Who would want to marry someone who can't even have children? Who would want to love someone who is a child themself? Just face it, Leena. I am the only man you can be with. I'm the only who can see past your disease. I'll always love you, no matter what!"

My father slowly began to stroke the side of my face with his fingers. Tears started forming up in my eyes as I tried to convince myself that what he said wasn't true. One day I'll find a man who loves me for me. I'll prove my father wrong!

All of a sudden, he turned me back around to face him. He pulled me closer to him as he forcefully pressed his lips against mine once again. Slowly, he began to slide his tongue into my mouth. I struggled to pull away as he started to rip my dress off. I managed to push him off of me. He stumbled backwards, then fell onto the floor.

"You little bitch!" He yelled.

I quickly dashed out of the room and ran downstairs into the kitchen. Without thinking, I grabbed a knife off of a mountain high pile of dirty dishes in the sink. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. His footsteps.

"Leena! Get back here you good for nothing whore!" He called.

He then turned his head and spotted me. I froze; unsure of what to do. My father stared at me coldly. His face was blood red with anger, and his eyes were glassy from the booze. I could tell that all he wanted to do was torture, maybe even kill me. I'm surprised he hadn't killed me already, after all these years of constant abuse and rape. What a sick, perverted bastard!

I finally had enough of it. Anger was building its way up inside me. All of a sudden, I just snapped. Without giving it a second thought, I lunged forward at him, making him topple over onto the kitchen floor. I got on top of him, then raised the knife high above my head. I'll never forget the look he had in his eyes. It was the look of complete and utter fear. I then brought the knife down into his chest. It went in him as if he was warm butter. I pulled the knife out, then stabbed him again. And again, and again, and again. I wanted him to suffer, I wanted him to pay. I wanted to kill him! My father's blood splattered all over my face. He didn't even have time to fight back or scream. Within seconds, he was dead.

I slowly got up off of him, and stared into his lifeless eyes. I then fell to my knees; dropping the knife beside me. Tears ran down my face. I felt guilty for what I had done. I've killed my own father! Despite how many times he's hurt me, I still loved him. And I knew in some sick, twisted way, he loved me too.

Although I did felt guilty for killing him, something about it also felt right. He did deserve it after all. Little did I know at the time, that my father was the first of many of my kills . . .

I woke up with a jerk. I peered around the room. I was still in this fucking padded cell. I got up from my bed and began to twist and turn my body again; desperately trying to break free of my straightjacket one last time. I hated being locked in here like an animal. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to get out of here!

To my surprise, my right arm moved ever so slightly. I looked down to see that one of the straps was loosen on the jacket. I pulled, and twist, and turned as hard as I could. I could feel the strap becoming looser and looser. After a few minutes of pulling, I managed to get one arm out. With my free arm, I started unbuckling the rest of the straps. I smiled as I pulled the jacket off over my head and through it onto the floor.

They can't keep Leena Klammer locked away forever!

I quietly went over to the door and peered out through the cell bars.

This is it, I thought, my chance to finally escape!