I knew something was wrong when I started thinking like that. It's not that I meant to, but, some how it got into my head. And I liked it. And I hated it. I didn't want to think of the tomato-eating-bastard like that. No, it wasn't right. Spain looked after me for years, he was practically a father to me! Well, a fuck annoying one. So, why was I feeling like this? I didn't want this at all. Love was something to drag me down. After all everyone prefered my fratello. He was good at art, cuter and very cheerful. While I was...well, I didn't want to think about how bad I was. If he was to like anyone, it definately wouldn't be me. It was a depressing thought, but it was no use kidding myself. Love was something no one felt for me. And I couldn't give a fuck for them.

At least, I wished I couldn't.

Every day I was forced to face him. That person that irritated him with his shit every day. That person that with a few words, could change my life forever. That person who had looked after me for years, who was so blissfully unaware of my fucking feelings. How much I wanted these feelings to leave my body. How i wanted to be able to not give a damn again. Now, I can only act. Argh, when did I turn into a sap?

Although, where there was feelings of hate, there were also feelings of longing.

They appeared at night. Of fucking course.

"S-Spain...dammit...!" I would whisper to an invisible Spain, who always seemed to be at the end of my bed. Tears would fall without me noticing until I buried my head into my pillows and notice the wet patch that resided there. If only he could understand. Don't fucking laugh. I have a damn weakness, so what?

But then, could that result in rejection?

I shook my head. No, I would rather never fucking tell him then face the possibility I could get rejected. That would be the shit storm he promised to the potato-eating-bastard.
But then again, would it?
I could get over the fucker, maybe. I could live life again normally, maybe.

Oh, but wait.

I couldn't do that. Could I?
After all, I could barely deal with this fucking hurt, what would rejection do to me? Fuck me up.

I greeted Spain every morning with my usual, 'I don't care' attitude. The older man would just laugh and tell me off for my use of language. It's not like I could change now, so what exactly was the fucking point in telling me off for swearing? Everyone had already labelled me as the moody Italian brother, there's no way to undo it.

No matter what I said or did.
What's to stop Spain from thinking it too?

But then the kiss happened.
And the whole world fell apart.

I hadn't expected it, to say the least. I always believed there to be a slim chance of any one liking me. Let alone Spain. I always thought the idiot could never sense the mood of my feelings. Then, who's to say he even did? Maybe he did this on his own accord.
The look in the older man's eyes begged for acceptance from the me, for the me to tell him I loved him back.

Anxiety.

I didn't believe Spain loved me. It was all a fucking lie! I thought that nobody could love me, that this was all a 'let's-fuck-up-Romano' festival.
And that's when I bolted from the house.
I could hear the yells from the bastard as he chased after me, but I was fast. And managed to lose him after a while. I had finally stopped running by a silent road. Apple trees loomed over and that's where I broke down.

This was the first time I had cried outside my room, and lots of swearing filled the gaps between sobs.
It was all some horrible fucking trick.
And I couldn't take it any more.

"Romano!"

Huh? Who was that?

"Romano!"

Spain? Why was that fucker here?

"I found you!"

Maybe he came back to fuck with me some more.

"Romano! Loo..."

Wait, he was still speaking.

"..k out!"

Look...out? ...What was the bastard on about?

That's where I realised where I was.

And I was hit.

But what, I don't know. But it fucking hurt. A lot.

I was more concerned on where Spain was. A bastard he was, an idiot he had always been and also some one important. An extreme pain was spreading through my body and my eyes could barely open. It felt like saturday morning after the last night world conferance. Except ten times more fucking worse.
And it wasn't dulling at all.

"Romano! Romano!"

There was his voice...it was slightly disorted, probably from the fucking driver hitting me. Was he holding me? There was only a slight increase in the pain to tell me. I tried to speak, but the pain was too fucking much.

"Romano! Despierta!" (Wake up!)

Wake up? How on earth could I fucking do that? It's almost impossible to open my damn eyes! He started to ramble on in his Spanish. I swear if I could, I would roll my eyes.

But one thing stopped me from trying.
Well, two things.

"Te amo!"

There, he said it again. Those two words he was taunting me with! Even when I'm in this much pain!
I decided to try to look at him. Open my eyes just to face that trickster.

I used all my strength to open my eyelids, which were surprisingly fucking heavily. No kidding, it's hard after being hit by something.

I had expected to have seen a look in his eyes which was fake.

Fuck I was wrong.

The bastard was a mess. Tears were falling from his cheeks, he was shaking and I could tell he was trying to hide it.

But that wasn't the worst part.

His eyes. I could see in them, there was...love. And fear and worry. All fucking real.

How could I have been so damn stupid? He...was telling the truth...

"R-Romano..."

Shit, he was breaking apart. And it was my fault. I had never seen the bastard like this, and it sort of scared me.

What if this was my last moments?

I could barely move, and by the look on the bastard's face, I must be a wreck. So, what should...I do...?
..I'll do it.
I'll ignore the pain, just for this moment.
Ignore the fucking pain.
His lips were warm against my own. It made me feel warm inside. Like a fucking sap. I could feel a hand reach behind my head and pull me closer. Idiot, this won't go any further.

But, thank you.

Gah! Don't hurt me! *dodges pitchforks for hurting Romano* This was my first One-Shot so I'm really sorry!

But the ending is for you to decide.

Tell me if you want a sequel~!