Author: StarGleekBelle PM
AU Future fic: Kurt and Sebastian are freshman at the Tisch School of Arts. Kurt was accepted late, leaving him with no dorm. Sebastian offered Kurt the spare room in the lavish apartment his parents were paying for, hoping that it would help solidify their friendship. Neither knew that sharing the space would lead to forbidden love, heartbreak, and betrayal. (currently on hiatus)Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Kurt H. & Sebastian S. - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,050 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 10-05-12 - Published: 07-28-12 - id: 8369435
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Thank you to all of you who showed interest in this. It's my first actual Kurtbastian fic so I'm a little worried. I hope I can give this crackship justice. I hope you like this chapter. :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the imagination behind this plot.
Mistakes are a natural part of life. Doing the wrong thing is what makes us human. Sometimes, our mistakes change us in significant ways whether we want them to or not. My first mistake in all of this was asking Kurt to move in with me. I realized this about a week after classes started. It was early in the morning and I had walked over to Kurt's room to tell that him that the coffee was done. I was surprised to find the door ajar because he had just gotten out of the shower and he's an incredibly private person. I was even more surprised to see him standing in the middle of his room clad only in tight blue boxer briefs.
He was texting someone so he didn't notice me by the doorway. The smart choice would've been for me to turn around and walk away. Instead, I lingered by the door and let my eyes roam down his body. That was my next mistake. I know I always tease Kurt for his effeminateness but there's no denying that he is all man. His shoulders are broad, his back is strong, and his arms are firm. His thighs are muscular and his legs seem to go on for miles. He's lean and toned to perfection. His skin is literally as flawless as porcelain. And let's not forget his perfectly round ass which I knew in that moment was made for pounding into.
I meant to look away but I was too transfixed by his beauty. When he finally turned around and caught me staring, the blush rose from his chest to his neck in the sexiest way possible. That was when I realized just how truly attractive Kurt really is. The layers of clothes he wears hide him away and I know it's because of his insecurities. Insecurities I wish he didn't have because really, he's perfect.
I tried to go out as much as I could after that. I couldn't allow myself to find him attractive. Not only because he had a boyfriend but because said boyfriend is one of my closest friends. It turned out to be harder than I thought. I couldn't seem to get Kurt out of my head no matter what I did. Even when I was balls deep in some guy I met at the bar, my subconscious thoughts lingered on him. I soon realized that he was avoiding me too and while the smart choice would've been for me to leave it alone, I couldn't. I confronted him about it and demanded that he tell me why he was avoiding me. When he admitted that it was because he was sexually attracted to me, I knew we were in trouble.
All I could think of after that was all the things I wanted to do to him; all the ways I wanted to mark his body. And every single time I fantasized about him, I imagined the hurt I would cause Blaine. I imagined the way he would react to me telling him that I wanted to fuck Kurt into the next oblivion. None of Blaine's reactions in my mind ended in anything less than him punching the shit out of me.
So I avoided Kurt as much as possible which actually worked out pretty well for a while. At least until he insisted that we go dancing. Saying yes was my next mistake. Watching Kurt dance was intoxicating, more so than any kind of drug or alcohol. I hadn't meant to leave my seat at the bar to dance with him. I hadn't meant to get lost in the stormy array of colors in his eyes. I hadn't meant to grab hold of his hips to bring us flush together. And I certainly hadn't meant to kiss him. That, had been the biggest mistake of them all. The instant our lips met, the second I got the slightest taste, I knew I had to have more.
That's how we ended up here, wrapped up in each other's arms after another night of exhilarating sex. It's still fairly early in the morning and if it was the weekend, I would close my eyes and go back to sleep. Unfortunately we both have class in a few hours so I'm going to have to force myself to wake him up. The early morning sun is basking through the windows, the blanket I threw over us last night is only covering half of Kurt's body, and his breathing is so even that it soothes me.
He's lying on top of me, our legs are intertwined, his head is tucked underneath my chin, and his arms are resting delicately on my chest. He's so beautiful that it physically hurts me to look at him. It pains me to know that no matter what I do, he'll never be mine. He'll always be Blaine's. But right now, in this moment, I let myself enjoy the way his body slots perfectly with mine.
I reluctantly bring my hand up to his cheek and caress it lightly. I really don't want to wake him but after last night, I know he's going to need time to himself. His "I just want you" and my "I want you too" is the closest we're probably ever going to get to admitting that we're way past the "it's just sex" excuse. It hasn't been just sex for a while.
"Kurt, it's time to wake up." I say quietly.
"Donwanna." He mutters as he snuggles his head into my neck.
"I don't either but we have to." I tell him. "We have class."
About a minute passes before he finally starts to pull away from me. I miss the closeness instantly. He doesn't look at me as he sits up on the couch. He keeps his gaze on the hardwood floor and I know the guilt he feels is bubbling inside. Without warning, he starts to sob silently. I hate this part. I hate the pain he feels every time we wake up in bed together. I hate the pain he feels from betraying Blaine's trust. Most of all, I hate that I'm the reason the pain is there.
I don't say anything when I scoot over on the couch. I don't say anything when I wrap him up in my arms and bury my face in his hair. I just let him cry as I sway us back and forth. I let a few of my own tears fall for my own pain. This is why I don't do relationships. This is why I never let myself feel. The pain that's associated with loving someone is barely bearable. And yes, I do love Kurt. I tried not to. Oh did I try. I tried to keep my heart behind the fortress I had expertly built. But Kurt somehow weaseled his way in and now I'm forever lost in my love for him. I can't imagine what it must be like for him. Loving one person is hard enough. But loving two? I can't even begin to fathom it.
Kurt takes a shuddering deep breath as he backs away from our embrace. I can see how hard it is for him to rein in his emotions and again, the stab of pain I feel knowing that this is all my fault kills me. Without a word, he gets up from the couch and walks over to his bathroom to get ready for school. I know that he's going to end up crying in the shower again. He always does. I doubt he knows that I'm aware of that fact but I am.
I let out a heavy sigh as I make my way over to my own bathroom. I make sure to glance at the picture of Kurt and Blaine that's hanging in the hallway as I pass it. It's my way of reminding myself that Kurt isn't mine. It's my way of reminding myself that Kurt will never be mine. He'll always be Blaine's, no matter what my heart desires.
A/N: So how was chapter 2?
The next chapter will be narrators POV and the one after that will be Blaine's. :)