Author: KahnShao PM
For those who wanted to have their own pet cenobite. here you go. the handy guide of owning your own cenobite. I do not own Hellraiser or any of the characters. I will try and get up all the original cenobites as time permits. Read and review. no flamers period.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Pinhead - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,572 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11-09-12 - Published: 08-03-12 - id: 8391140
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Congratulations. You are now the proud owner of your very own pet cenobite. The model you now own is our Xipe Totec model or otherwise known as Pinhead. As you remove Pinhead from the box please be aware that he will be curious of his new surroundings. It is best to let him explore without any interruptions. To make him feel more at home we have included a spinning pillar, a lament configuration, and a few chains. You will find that your Pinhead model is easy to please and work with. He requires little food and water and is clean, intelligent, and quiet.
Pinhead prefers dark areas. The darker the better. A nice dark musty room will suffice. To make him feel more at home have him decorate the room as he feels fit. His room may unexplainably become a long corridor fraught with chains, rotting flesh, smells of hot ass, and the like. In short his room will be nasty to venture into. Hey, we said Pinhead is clean…we said nothing of his living environments.
It is important to make yourself known when you enter his area. That way he will not attack you accidently. He is pretty territorial. If he has a filthy area let it be. He will keep his mess confined to his area and not let it venture into other areas of the house. Provided he is properly trained. Usually telling him what room is his or letting him choose a room will keep him happy and content. It is advisable you do not actually let him choose whatever room he wants; rather have 2-3 rooms he can choose from. If this does not work and he wants a certain room not on the list It is advisable just to let him have it. After all he is the master of pain and torture.
Pinhead does not need to eat per se, but he does need souls every so often. To make sure he has this have someone open the lament configuration. Once they do this the walls of your house will split open and Pinhead will come out of nowhere and do a long drawn out speech. Before shaking his head to make a chain come out of nowhere and nab his victim. As a special treat tell him Frank escaped. When Frank calls you a bitch for setting him up Pinhead will come out of nowhere and tear him apart with chains. Frank will be usually in the skin of Larry Cotton his brother.
Make sure Pinhead gets souls at least 2-3 times every few months to keep him happy, healthy, and more importantly you alive. For now at least.
Oh, hell no….are you really going to…you are.. Ok then. It is not the wisest idea to try and discipline the Prince Of Pain, The Dark Pope, Leviathan's favorite son. He does not take well to discipline. However if you must be a dumbass and insist he needs training then taking away his chains and instruments of torture is a fatal way to start. There will come a time when Pinhead will threaten someone that was in the vicinity of where the box was opened and if that person continues screaming he will have his underling…a nasty ass looking female chatterer tear them apart. It is important to teach Pinhead to only go after those that opened the box.
Sometimes Pinhead can be bargined with to promote better behaviour but not always. After all its your flesh he wants to experience. Not your skills at bargaining.
1. Pinhead is missing a few of his pins. What can I do?
As a bonus we added a few spare pins inside the box he came in. if for any reason you need extras you can purchase a cenobite transformation chamber at the ridiculously high price of…$999,999.00 SHIPPING COST! And the purchase price of way to expensive to mention here.
2. There is a bloody mattress in Pinhead's room. What happened?
You must destroy that mattress! Julia died on it. She can come back!
3. Tiffany opened the puzzle box. Now pinhead won't take her?
It wasn't hands that called us. It was desire!
4. Frank escaped Pinhead. How can I remedy this?
Impossible. No one escapes us.
5. Pinhead got his soul back and turned into Capt. Elliott Spencer. Now what?
You numbnuts! You let him too close to the Channard model and now he's all human. If this happens you must purchase another pinhead model.
6. Can I give Pinhead a dove to keep him company?
No. Pinhead will just feed it to his dog thing.
7. Pinhead got himself trapped inside a light lament configuration box. Is this a bad thing?
If he got trapped inside the box chances are he was on a spaceship and wandered into the box unaware. This type of box generates light not darkness so therefore Pinhead is one dead sonofabitch. You must order a new Pinhead and for Leviathan's sake KEEP HIM AWAY FROM SPACESHIPS!
NO! Damn female cenobite! How many times do I have to tell you its not hands that call us its desire!
We hope you enjoy your new Pinhead model and with proper care he will last an eternity. You will be amazed at how much begging you will do that he leave you alone. For added dismay you can purchase additional cenobites for company. Each cenobite comes with an instruction booklet and is programmed to instantly know one another. If you act now we will also send you the female chatterer from Hellraiser revelations free of charge. (just pay a shitload of cash for shipping and handling. And no you MAY NOT come down and get her yourself to save money. You cheap asshole! Don't even try it dumbass. Well kick your ass if you do!)
Read and review.
Next up: Butterball