Author: jezzeria PM
After losing Bella during childbirth, Edward finds himself alone and grieving. He is left to raise their newborn daughter, Alice. Will Edward be able to heal himself and be the best father possible for Alice? A story about the bonds of a parent and a child.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Adventure - Edward & Bella - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,869 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 09-16-12 - Published: 08-04-12 - id: 8392040
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I don't normally do more than one work in progress at a time but this story has been nothing if not persistent. My main priority is still finishing Divorce of the Century and its companion piece, but don't be surprised if this updates in the in-betweens.
Stephenie Meyers is still the twilight goddess.
My dearest Bella, it has been two agonizingly long months since you were taken from me. Two months since our angel Alice was born. When I think that two months and one day ago you were beside me with the whole world at our feet it takes my breath away.
My mom and Rose have been helping me with Alice. Would you be angry with me to know that I have hardly spent any time with her? She looks so much like you that sometimes I cannot even bear to stand to look at her. That makes me a despicable creature, I know, but at the same time I am too bitter and hurt to care. You should be here with me helping to raise Alice.
Everyone has been so kind, checking on me to make sure I am okay. They are all so forgiving of me for neglecting our daughter, but somehow I know it would upset you. Don't worry because Rose informed me today that she would help me get a hang of things but that I needed to start taking care of my responsibilities.
I couldn't agree more but at the same time I am feeling a million other emotions. I am angry; angry that you were taken from us so soon, angry that Alice will never see your smile, angry with you for leaving me to do this on my own. I feel ashamed that I have abandoned our daughter when she needed me the most. Which brings me to my strongest emotion right now; fear. What if I am a bad father?
You were supposed to be here to guide me through this. To laugh when I am doing it wrong and lovingly correct me, and praise me when I am doing it right. I feel childish and selfish when I think that, but it was the plan. The plan that was ripped away from me and I have no backup.
Tonight when Alice began to cry, Rose pushed me to hold her. I was afraid I may drop her. Or what if I were to look into her face and hate her knowing that she had taken you away?
The moment she was in my arms she stopped crying and something inside of me changed. Looking down at her I found her staring right back up at me. I have to tell you, Bella, her eyes are large and dark, just like yours. They told me that they could still change, but I am hoping that they never do because it is like I am staring into your eyes still.
Do you know what I saw when I looked into those deep dark eyes? Sadness. A deep sadness that nobody, especially our two month old child should have to know. It was than I realized that I am not the only one who misses you Bella.
She misses the reassuring sound of her mommy's heartbeat. I know because she nuzzled close to my bare chest, but when my heartbeat didn't match yours she gave a sigh of discontent. Even at such a young age she knows that you didn't leave her willingly.
It breaks my heart to know that she has been hurting also, but I am going to fix it, my love. For you. For me. For Alice I am going to strive to do everything I can to give her what she needs. My heartbeat may never sing to her as yours did, but I will do my best to be the next best thing so that she knows that she is still safe and loved.
Just a short prologue for now, I promise the rest of the chapters will be longer.
Also at the moment I have no plans for Edward to move on since I pretty much do ExB, but my characters tell the story so you never know what may happen. Although the main purpose of this story is the show the loving bond between a parent and a child which I find beautiful and amazing as I am raising my own daughter.