|You and Me Against the Machines
Author: dragondolphin1990 PM
The story of six mercenaries, an army of robots, and an unlikely friendship. SniperxSpy.Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Romance - Sniper & Spy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,925 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 03-04-13 - Published: 08-14-12 - id: 8429143
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Scout made sure to leave a distinctly bigger tip than the others. Engineer and Soldier had to forcibly drag him out of the diner, while the younger man yelled out promises at the waitress to come back as soon as possible. Sniper smiled at their shenanigans.
"What is so amusing?" Spy asked as they walked back to the camper van.
"This is the first time a RED an' a BLU got together ta do somethin' useful," he nodded his head toward the two wrangling Scout.
"Hopefully ze first time of many."
"I'd toast ta that," he held up an imaginary champagne flute.
Spy held up his own "glass", and the two shared a mock toast and a smile. Sniper was growing embarrassed by his budding friendship with the BLU, so he turned away to fiddle with his keys.
Back in the van, the six mercenaries were quick to reequip themselves. After checking over his rocket launcher for scratches, Soldier stood at the front of the camper van, facing the others, "ALRIGHT, MEN. THIS IS OUR LAST STOP BEFORE COMBAT. WHEN WE GET OUT OF THIS CHARIOT, WE WILL BE IN ENEMY INFESTED TERRITORY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? THIS IS AN ENEMY WE KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT, SO YOU WILL PROCEED WITH CAUTION, MAGGOTS. I WILL ACCEPT NO CASUALTIES FROM MY TROOPS, SO GIVE IT EVERYTHING YOU—"
Sniper pushed him to the side, "We ain't getting' anywhere with you blocking the wheel, mate."
"REDS HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PROPER DECORUM."
It was like a light bulb went off in Engineer's head when Soldier said RED. He rushed over to his spot at the table and pulled out the schematics for his mini-sentry. If he set one up, it would ignore the robots and target the three blues instead. Reprogramming it to not attack his new allies wouldn't be too difficult, but it would take at least an hour, time he didn't have. It would also be nearly impossible to fiddle around with the circuitry in the bumpy van. Reprogramming his sentries to attack the robots was literally impossible at this point, since he knew nothing about them besides the fact that they were robots with some sort of expensive fuel. He didn't believe Miss Pauling literally had meant they were powered by money.
With a sigh, Engineer patted the pocket in his overalls where he kept his Wrangler. He'd have to leave his mini-sentry on manual nonstop until he redesigned the circuit board.
Engineer was startled out of his thoughts when Soldier sat across from him at the table. He noticed Scout and Demo were sitting on the bed, awake this time, and Spy was back in the passenger seat. The table was the only place available for Soldier to sit.
"So, yeh decided to sit at a real chair fer this leg, eh? Good for ya."
"I STILL DO NOT LIKE THAT YOU ARE A RED, BUT SITTING WITH YOU IS SUPERIOR TO ENTERING BATTLE WITH A SORE BACK."
"I hear ya."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Just thinkin' about how to get my sentries to attack the robots instead of you all."
"ADMIRABLE," Soldier nodded, "I SUPPORT THIS ENDEAVOR OF YOURS, ENGINEER. CARRY ON."
Engineer smiled, glad to apparently be on the man's good side.
… … … … …
The rest of the trip to Gravel Pit passed in silence as the mercenaries nervously readied themselves for a new enemy. Out of the corner of his eye, Sniper watched Spy fiddle with his butterfly knife. He was surprised Spy would outwardly show any of his nervousness. He thought that maybe Spy didn't even notice what he was doing.
When Sniper stopped the camper van, there was no sign of civilization in any direction.
"Where the hell are we? You didn't run outta gas, didja, numbnut?"
"It's jus' behind that hill," Sniper pointed in front of the van, "but we don't know what the situation is like there. Pauling called it a robot army. Who knows what we're gonna find there."
"THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE."
"I DID NOT KNOW THE REDS WERE CAPABLE OF SOUND TACTICS."
"What the hell's that s'posed ta mean? I can out-tactic you any day, helmet head! I'll run circles 'round ya!"
"Whoa there, son," Engineer didn't even look up from his blueprints, "What did we tell you about playin' nice with the BLUs?"
Scout grumbled a response, but it was drowned out by the sound of loud gulping.
"I THOUGHT I CONFISCATED YOUR ALCOHOL. STOP DRINKING BEFORE BATTLE."
"I de-confiscated it," Demoman stopped drinking long enough to say, "Can't fight without mah scrumpy."
"So what is ze plan? Sneak in and hope zey do not kill us?" Spy pushed them back on topic.
"Can I have some paper, Engie?" Sniper took a moment to sketch a crude map of Gravel Pit, "So, this here's the RED base, and over there's the BLU. Either one should have enough supplies and be defendable enough. RED's a bit closer, but I think we should try'n get to BLU."
"What? Traitor!" Scout glared.
"See this big area here?" Sniper pointed at the map between their current location and the RED base, "It's pretty open. We'd make easy targets. Lot more cover on the way to the old BLU base."
"This don't seem any better than Spy's sneak in a try not to die plan," Engineer grumbled.
"Well, no. It's my sneak in to somewhere specific and try not ta die plan. Any o' you got a better idea?"
Demoman shrugged and kept drinking.
"We could rush in, weapons hot. Take'm all out in one strike. Pew pew pew! Robo-guts everywhere."
"I AGREE WITH SCOUT," Soldier's eye twitched at agreeing with a RED, "WE CAN TAKE 'EM. WE HAVE AMERICA ON OUR SIDE."
"Yeah!" Scout held his hand up to high five but Soldier ignored it.
After a few moments of silence, Spy said, "So our options are sneak to ze BLU base or offer ourselves to the enemy on a silver platter? Let's follow Sniper's plan."
"Seconded," Engineer was quick to add.
"Man, bein' sneaky's no fun," Scout whined, "You don't wanna be sneaky, right, Demoman? Explosives ain't sneaky. They're loud and awesome and stuff."
With a grin, Demoman put away his grenade launcher and unsheathed his sword.