|Deal With It
Author: banana102283 PM
"Do advertising? Alright." Logan nodded understandingly. Suddenly, he scowled and stood up, knocking his chair over. "Advertising? Seriously? They already torture us enough in this story! Who do you think I am? I can't go around, ADVERTISING out of all things-!" He stopped himself. "Wait. Is this some kind of quest or something?" His eyes widened in horror. "Do I even get money?"Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - OC - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,412 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 03-31-13 - Published: 08-16-12 - id: 8434956
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
WOAH WOAH WOAH WHY DID I GET SO MANY REVIEWS WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE WHAT THE FUDGE IS GOING ON-
Haha, but seriously, thanks to Kady35, Miss 20 Percent Cooler (YOU ARE AWESOME) and KitKat342! :3 *rubs hands together enthusiastically* Now all I have to do is reply to all of them!
(By the way, this was supposed to be the HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, meaning it was supposed to come out on Halloween... yeah. But better late than never, right? I think that's how it goes. And I guess it helps that I've edited this over like ten times. :)
"Quests for fun?"
Logan looked at him, eyes widened in pure horror. After running around doing errands for every single STUPID person in Wizard City (no, literally), he was pretty sure that fun and quests did not belong in the same sentence. Ever. "You have to be joking," he muttered, trying to convince himself that yes, Chris was joking. "You're joking, aren't you?"
Chris shook his head somberly. "Please. I'm not an idiot."
He paused at the incredulous look Logan was giving him, raising his hands in a gesture of peace. "I mean, yes, I know that some people, cough cough," he said, giving him a pointed look, "know me as an idiot. But even if I was, I wouldn't be that kind of idiot."
Logan grudgingly admitted to himself that he did think Chris was an idiot. But that was only because he was one.
Chris trudged on, interrupting Logan's thoughts. "And no matter how much of an 'idiot' I really am," he said haughtily, quoting the word idiot with his fingers, "I don't think I would joke about having to run around streets all day, listening to scarecrow-men recite poems-"
Immediately Logan whirled around, wanting to see Chris's face. In case he was joking. Which he was. Because there was no way-
According to the grim look on his face, he wasn't.
Logan felt like curling up into a ball of self-pity for the rest of the day. Instead, he slid down the hedge surrounding the Fairgrounds until he was in the same position Chris was in, putting his head in his hands. "Oh god no," he moaned. "No, no, no. I-"
He paused mid-sentence, thinking. There had to be a way he could get out of this. Logan, out of all things, was not planning on spending his first Halloween where he wasn't doing quests listening to crackpot scarecrows singing and dancing. Or reciting poems - though it wasn't like there was a difference. As far as he could tell, they were both equally horrifying.
"And you're sure one-hundred percent," Logan asked carefully, head still in his hands, "that he specifically said that we had to-"
Chris grinned, standing up. "Nooow, young wizard!" he bellowed in a (very) poor imitation of the Headmaster's voice, hands clasped together eagerly. Logan's hopes shattered - both the one where he didn't have to go on quests for once in his life, and the one where Chris decided to be less stupid for a day. For once in his life. "In celebration of Halloween, I want you and your other, wizard friend," Chris fixed his invisible monocle, "Luis, correct? Luis, Luis something-pie? Or was it Liam?"
"Ah, but no matter," Headmaster Chris continued, ignoring him. "You, Chris GriffinHunter," ("So the Headmaster knows your name and not mine?") "and your friend should do the quests from the Jack scarecrow brothers today, before you go trick-or-treating."
"Should!" Logan pointed out with renewed vigor, jumping up. "Not must!" Ha! Take that, quests!
"And then," Chris added, a finger pointed in the air, "he said, and I quote, 'It would be a insult to the scarecrows as well as me if you didn't go.'" He raised an eyebrow, and Logan could easily imagine Headmaster Ambrose giving him the exact same look.
Logan slumped back against the hedge again. Okay, so his life was over. At least he had a good run.
The older wizard patted him on the back. "Cheer up!" he exclaimed brightly. Logan hesitantly looked up into Chris's beaming face, almost afraid of what would come next. "You still have me around, so that's a benefit-"
Chris paused as Ryan, who had been walking past them, froze. "Benefit? Benefit?" she choked out, a smile spreading over her face.
Oblivious to Chris's heated glare, she burst into hysterics. "Ahahahaha!"
Logan watched Ryan crack up with interest, mainly because he had never seen Chris get shown up before. It was pretty entertaining. Logan specifically noted how wizards passing by would look at Ryan strangely, laughing in the middle of the street, then notice Chris, chin propped up defeatedly on his hand, and a look of understanding flash by on their faces.
Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and Logan immediately edged away from the pair. Maybe having Chris as a friend was ruining his reputation.
After a long period of Chris's scowling and Logan's "I don't know either of them" look, she attempted to recollect herself. "Y-You think," she stuttered, barely keeping from cracking up anymore than she was, "that it's," Ryan swallowed a laugh, "it's- haha- that it's a- a benefit-"
She burst into laughter, unable to complete her sentence. "Ellie! You- ahaha - you can't believe what Chris just said!" She sprinted past them into the fairgrounds, waving a hand to said person. "Ellie!"
Chris sat there dejectedly, listening glumly to the sound of Ellie's laughter. After another minute of non-stop hysterics, he grumbled, "I think I need to reconsider my choice of friends." He paused. "Ones that don't, I don't know, crack up two feet away from me would be nice."
"Chris," Logan began helpfully, "everyone laughs at you."
Chris glared at him, and he couldn't help but cheekily grin back. At least insulting Chris was good for your self-esteem.
Gathering what little dignity he had left, the senior crossed his arms, leaning back against the leafy foliage behind him. "Hmm," Chris said, watching as the pumpkin-dude gleefully swung around, tap-dancing or something else alarming. Logan didn't think he wanted to know. "I might have a solution to this."
Logan eyed him cautiously. "What do you mean, solution?" Solution as in problem, he was willing to bet. Or at least a problem for Logan, in which Chris would just stand there and laugh his butt off.
"A race." Chris nodded like it made perfect sense. Which, obviously, it didn't.
"What do you mean," he repeated, making an impatient gesture with his hands, "a race?"
"A race as in we race. First one to get all the stamps from all the scarecrows," he pointed at the scarecrow-thing in the distance, "wins."
Logan didn't get it. "I don't get it."
"If we race," Chris elaborated slowly, as if he was talking to a little kid (which made him a bit ticked off because no, Logan was not a little kid), "then it's still "Halloween spirit". In fact, we'd look better than everyone else."
It dawned on him. "And if we do it, we get to skip the stupid poems! Yes! You're a genius!" He high-fived Chris, who looked more than a bit startled, and-
Did he just say that Chris was a genius? Logan stopped dancing, somewhat disgusted at himself. He didn't think he would live this one down.
Before Chris could say anything - Logan was already wary of the malicious grin spreading across Chris's face - he marched ahead to the area in front of Gamma's office, scowling. "Are you coming or not?" he asked sourly, looking back to where Chris was leaning against the hedge.
"Please," Chris said, waving a hand. "The geniushere," and now Logan was really regretting that comment, "can afford to-"
"I'm going to go now," Logan said, pointing in the general direction of the scarecrow. "You know, might as well get a head start. Especially if-"
Logan blinked as the older wizard sped past him off towards the scarecrow. He raised his hands in exasperation, knowing that Chris couldn't see them but doing it anyways. Seriously?
He watched in annoyance as Chris, the cheat, waved his hands back and forth in front of the scarecrow's face. Wasn't in the rules!
Stupid! Logan smacked his forehead. He forgot to make rules. How could he forget to make rules?
Walking over, he reconsidered. Even if there were rules, Chris would break them. He did everything he could.
Logan made to follow him, then stopped as he thought of an idea. Hey Kieran, he asked, where are you?
Kieran replied immediately. Uh, Firecat Ally, ba-
Logan summoned his energy and teleported. After all, it wasn't in the rules, right?
"Why didn't you tell meyou were in a battle?"
Kieran glared at him, putting on a shield. "I was," he began hotly, "but you cut me off. Why didn't you tell methat you were going to teleport?"
Logan snapped his fingers, creating a storm blast that pummeled into the fire elf in front of him. The elf cried out in pain, sinking into the ground. "Because..." He stopped himself, realizing he had no good excuse. Dang. "Because I... uh..."
He grinned sheepishly. "Because it's... Halloween? Yes, that's it! Holiday spirit, right? Why not make the best of the holidays by-"
"-randomly teleporting to your friends."
"Exactly!" he said enthusiastically. "I'm glad you get it!" Kieran looked cross. Maybe his lie didn't work.
This was proved when Kieran said, "You're a terrible liar, did you know that?" What did he mean, Logan was a terrible liar? Of course he wasn't - he had lied well enough to get out of plenty of bad situations, so obviously he was pretty experienced. Kieran had no clue what he was talking about. "And maybe-"
As soon as the dueling circle faded away into red cobblestone at his feet Logan leaped onto the sidewalk and sprinted towards the direction he assumed lead to the tunnel. Chris was probably done with his second stamp by now, and he wasn't planning on losing. So ditching his friends was probably the best option here.
"Seriously, Logan?" Kieran said, growing smaller and smaller behind him. "You had to ditch me!"
"Yes!" he shouted back, waving a hand. Logan could've sworn he saw Kieran roll his eyes.
He looked back just in time to have something wrap around his ankle and send him sprawling, stumbling past a push and tripping so that he landed face down into a clump of fireflowers. Groaning, he managed to push himself off the ground and start moving. This race was not getting off to a good start.
Karma!Kieran sang-sung from behind him. Logan ignored him.
After a dead-end ("Dang it!") and a run all the way back past Kieran to the other side ("You can shut up," he snapped, as Kieran raised an eyebrow), he finally made it to the tunnel. Logan stopped in front of the scarecrow-veggie-stick thing, his legs aching and his lungs burning.
…He really needed a mount. Probably, he made sure to note, one where he didn't need to do any work. Like a horse.
When he had finally stopped gasping for air, the scarecrow leaned forward until he was eye to eye with the wizard. Logan turned his head, cringing at the strong pumpkin smell coming from his mouth. This guy definitely needed a mint.
"Jack Crow." he said, his voice raspy. "Stamp?"
"Yeah," Logan said uneasily, holding out his hand. The pumpkin smiled toothily, pressing a cold ink stamp against his skin, and he turned away, not wanting to look.
When that was done, he peeked at his hand, turning it over to make sure that there was nothing wrong with it. The stamp was an orange smiley face.
He hesitantly lowered his arm. "Uh, thanks?"
Jack continued to smile at him, his face centimeters away. "Bye then..." Unnerved, Logan swiveled around and started walking, glancing back one last time before heading into the darkness of the tunnel.
The scarecrow was still smiling. Creepily. Logan walked faster.
"Ol' Jack sent ye to Cyclops Lane, did he not? Thy is Pumpkin Jack! Seek ou-"
"Could you, uh, thy, hurry up? Please?" Logan shifted impatiently. At least the other Jack didn't recite poems.
Jack #2 peered at him from above. "Ye wish a stamp?"
"Yes! Thank you!" He held out his arm impatiently.
"Nope." The Jack clone started all over and Logan groaned, earning a couple strange looks from wizards around him. He glared back. "Ol' Jack sent ye to Cyclops Lane, did he not? Thy is Pumpkin Jack! Se-"
In the distance Logan could see Chris, marching over like the idiot he was. "Stamp me, Jack! Stamp me like you have never stamped before!"
As Jack was distracted trying to find the source of the shout, Logan grabbed the stamp from the scarecrow, jabbed it into his palm, and chucked it into the lake behind the tents. It hit the water with a loud plunk, the water rippling across the pond.
The scarecrow blinked, his eyes visibly focusing onto the wizard in front of him, and Logan took a step back.
Then he started running.
Chris slowed down to a trot, being a witness to all the crimes Logan had just committed. "Dude!"
Logan stuck out a foot to trip him before running past, ignoring the Jack clone's cries of "Ye must stop!" behind him. Two down, two to go.
"Hello, oh wizard! Ye-"
"Stamp!" Logan ducked, the lightning narrowly missing his head. Instead of hitting him, the lightning made a black scorch mark on the tree nearby. (It probably was not a good idea to catch a ride on a lightning bat across the mills.) "Stamp now!"
Confused, Jack O' Lantern stamped his hand before watching the teen make a dash towards the tunnel, almost smacking into a lamppost in the process. "Wizards these days," he muttered, turning away to greet the next wizard. "Always in a hurry."
Chris nodded knowingly. "I know, right?"
Logan huffed, bending down. "Just... one second..."
The other wizards looked at him strangely, which Logan purposely ignored. He had enough weird looks today, and besides, glaring back was too much of an effort. "Ye be the one who dare race for Jack's name?" the Jack-thing in Unicorn Way asked, eyeing him curiously.
"Uh... if you're talking about... us racing... then yes, I think." Logan paused, in thought. "Which Jack are you talking about?"
The Jack-pumpkin-whatever raised an eyebrow, which made Logan wonder how he even had an eyebrow. Magic? Good carving skills? "Thy speak of all me kin."
"...so, one of them, or all of them, or what?" Logan didn't really understand why the Jack sighed in exasperation as he stamped his hand.
Jack Hallow (the only Jack he bothered to learn the last name of) turned his hand around, checking for all the stamps. "Hallow says you are missing one stamp, ye see."
Logan yanked his arm back. If the scarecrow wasn't going to tell him he won, he didn't want him getting his hand smothered with pumpkin. "But I got all four!" He waved his hand in front of the pumpkin's face, which the scarecrow promptly stopped by grabbing it in midair. He yanked it back again. "See? Even the creepy one!" He paused. "No offence."
Jack squatted down to his level, ignoring the offending comment. "Ye are missing the stamp... of me."
This scarecrow was just as much of an idiot as Chris was. "Well then, give it!"
"Hmm..." The scarecrow rubbed his chin. "Let Hallow mull it over for a bit... No."
Logan resisted the urge to strangle him, though it took a lot of willpower. "Look, you see," he said with a tight smile, "I have to win a race against my friend," the word friend being a stretch, "so if you don't mind-"
Chris sauntered over, smirking proudly. "Too late!" he said grandly. "I won!"
What? No! He couldn't have-
There wasn't any-
It had to be-
Logan grabbed his arm, checking. And sure enough, there seemed to be five smiley faces on the back of his hand.
Of course, Chris could've always forged them. "You cheated, didn't you?" Logan asked, narrowing his eyes.
Chris gasped in mock indignation. "You would accuse me of cheating? How could I, the genius who thought of this idea, ever so possibly-"
Painful experience had taught him that telling Chris to shut up didn't actually shut him up, so instead, he reached into his bag and chucked a empty card deck at his stupid face.
Disappointingly, Chris dodged. The deck tumbled onto the ground behind him. "Fine, be that way. But remember," he added, "you're the one who called me a genius in the first place."
He swiveled around on one foot and started to walk towards Ravenwood. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I have someone to push into the death hole." He made an elaborate gesture in the air. "Au revoir, Logan-san!"
As Logan watched him walk away, Jack Hallow leaned in. "Ye've not used transportation in this contest of yours, have ye not? Ye fellow companion, on the other hand, this rule has been naught."
"What... do you mean?" Logan said slowly. He had no clue what the scarecrow just said.
Jack frowned. "Yer race is one of true tale, ye swear?"
"Uh, yes?" When Jack looked at him carefully, he nodded his head like he knew what he was talking about. "Yes, that's right. Definitely yes. Of course." Logan was sure he looked pretty convincing.
Hallow-man sighed. Guiding Logan closer to the tree, he quickly glanced around, trying to spot if anyone was watching.
Then he said, "Your friend used a broomstick. Said something about how it wasn't in the rules, apparently-"
Logan immediately recoiled. "You speak english?"
"Yeah!" They both jumped, and Logan turned around to see Chris, leaning on his broomstick like he wasn't just scaring them half to death. "Since when did that happen?"