an original story created by me , an inspiration from a friend

hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it

and for all the gleeK's out there i mentioned the klaine song "i have nothing"

klaine forever:) hopefully

People say that you would never forget your first love from a girls point of view that is so true, girls never forget there first crush, or there first love. And from the guys point of view only the most sensitive of them all can do anything for there love.

Some say that my first love was just a silly old crush, even the girl of my dreams would think that t, she has no idea that every smile that she gives me or every time she laughs at my joke is a clear stab to the heart her love is what keeps me going and her face would scar me for life. I can try and try but every pain she feels, every horrible fate that is destined for her to face,is always my concern. She might not realize how much she mesans to me all the time I spent hours of the day staring at her as the sun setteled on her hair making them shine bright pushing me to the limits further. She sat infront of me and all I could think of was has she ever felt that way about me to? Has she ever wanted me the way I want her? What kind of person would she take me for….it was maths class I was always ahead of the class I just sit back and gazed at her as if she was the only thing I could see, as if I was a blind man looking at her for the first time, the bell rang and I didn't even notice the sound until she got up and smiled at me my head snapped as I thought stop looking like a puppy who never gets what he wants, james shook my arm as he said "come on Darren, its recess or do you want to sit here for the rest of the day"

I moved my head side ways not meeting his eyes thinking that my eyes would betray me if I can't manage to fake a smile. I cleared my throat "yeah sure…lets go"

I often felt like I was in some weird movie or a play for the way I act around her a boy with a silly fantasy trying as hard as he could for the love of his life to notice him.

Darren sighed as he lied back on his bed thinking and accessing how today went, may be I will talk to her tomorrow after all we are friends may be its time we took the next step, but what if she doesn't feel the same way I do or worse…what if she loves some one else.

I sat up on my bed trying to get the thoughts out of my mind but I couldn't instead I picked up my phone and messaged her

What are you doing-D

Oh nothing just the usual home work, t.v., and now texting you .-A

Her reply made me smile I looked down thinking what to say

Well, I was just thinking about what to do s tomorrow since its Saturday-D

Hey I know how about we go out…you know all of us friends hang out-A

She wanted to hang out maybe this is my opportunity

Uh yeah sure, absolutely! I would like that we can hang out at my place-D

Okay I'll tell the others-A

-D

I took a deep breath now is the chance to do it don't screw it up.

After we had finished lunch the rest of the guys parents picked them up early Alicia and I were left we sat in the bed room after a while we had nothing to talk to the awkward silence was unbearable

"so I was-" we both spoke at the same time

We laughed "you go first" Alicia said by gesturing her hand towards me

"um, uh okay, so I wanted to tell you something …..i wanted to tell you this for a long time"

I looked up as my eyes met her they were a painful dager to the heart

"I, I really like you Alicia, I liked you for a very long time, I actually like you more than you even know" I said nervously I looked up at her face and all I could see were worry lines and shock went all across her features "Darren please-" she said pleading in a way

"no Alicia hear me out I," I took a deep breath "I love you…..more than you even know"

Everything went silent and I knew this was a mistake, tears filled her eyes and I couldn't helpbut I really wanted to take everything back the moment the first drop reached her cheek.

"Darren I, I can't, I am flattered but…please don't take this the wrong way but I just don't want this" she gestured her hand at both of us.

Pain, depression, shattered hopes and dreams

What ever you can say went across me I just wanted to be with her so badly and she didn't even want it a little. "Alicia i…" she cut me of by saying "please don't Darren, we are great friends I am sure of that, and I don't want to loose you but, this dating and stuff is not me" she took a deep breath trying to hold back a sob "Darren you don't know how much happy I am to hear that you love me, I like you to but, I just don't want to…" she reached for my hand and I just snapped "just don't say that you want us to be friends, I love you Alicia please why cant you understand how much you mean to me I,…I just cant keep this in anymore, I don't want to hold back what I feel for you"

I whispered trying to keep the voice down

"Darren I, I can't do this anymore.." before she could continue her phone rang "my dads here….." she placed her hand on mine, I couldn't look into those hazel eyes I just didn't know what to do it was a dead end road "I hope we can still be friends I just don't want to loose you" I still couldn't say anything I Was to much in pain as it is

"bye" she whispered as she left

Alicia P.O.V.

I sighed I could have told him I loved him to but its best this way its better that he doesn't get to attached or hopeful. He didn't know what a girl felt like to know that she was loved to have that feelings is all that I wanted. my parents would never approve of me being with him and I don't want to loose there trust I really wish we could be together but Darren just ahs to face the fact I still hoped we could be friends, who knows may be someday things might change. But there is one thing for sure he would always have a place inside my heart. I messaged him:

I really do hope we can be friends -A

I plugged in my ipod as I listened to the song which reminded me of Darren whenever I listened to it…from now on

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehowOne step closerI have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

She repeated the last and final chorus as images of what happened with Darren passed thorugh her mind she could have cried but she had to remain strong:

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand moreAnd all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Darren P.O.V.

My life felt like I was in the movie titanic an iceberg I hit and now I knew all the hopes and dreams went still she didn't want to be with me. I picked up my phone when it vibarated

I really do hope we can be friends -A

Tears filled my eyes as I fought to let the feel of vulnerability get to me. I tossed the phone on the bed as I curled up in a ball as I let the misery sink in and wrap me in a dark place with no hope.

I heard a song on the t.v. from outside and the lyrics were as painful as what just happened to me it was exactly the way I felt and I didn't know what to do about it

Share my life, take me for what I am
Cause I'll never change all my colours for you
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much
Just all that you are and everything that you doI don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
Can't run from myself
There's nowhere to hide
(Your love I'll remember forever)

a single trail of tear was all I needed to turn in to a wreck

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me...
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you,

I walked to the school ground over the weekened I had gotten a hold of my emotions, life was the way it was meant to be but hope still stays within me

After all who knows what fate had instored for me I walked up the stairs I stood still when I saw Alicia talking toher friends everything flashed before me as if there was no end to this. She gave me a hopeful smile hoping we still be friends I couldn't help but smile,little did she knew behind my smile I was dying inside of lost hope and dream. I would always love her, I will always care for her no matter what.

After all true loves is one in a million and my first love?...no one cane ever take her place in my heart. I sighed in contentment.

The first song is a thousand years-by christinna perrie

The second song is I have nothing-by whitney Huston, performed by chris colfer-glee

I hope you enjoyed the story