Excerpt from Agent Gordon Cole's microcassette field diary, re: Twin Peaks.

"DIANE, I CURRENTLY RESIDE IN THE EPICENTER OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AND EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL PASTRIES. AS COOP HAS MENTIONED TO YOU, THIS PLACE IS REAL KOO-KOO BANANAS, BUT I THINK WE ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. ALBERT IS CURRENTLY WORKING WITH SHERIFF TRUMAN, WHO COULD USE A HAIRCUT.

DIANE, PLEASE TRANSCRIBE THE FOLLOWING POEM IMMEDIATELY. EMBEDDED IN THIS DELIGHTFUL POETIC GEM IS THE CODE I BRIEFED YOU ON, REGARDING A CERTAIN FORMER AGENT EARLE. I TRUST YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THE SYMBOLISM IMMEDIATELY WITHIN AND TAKE NOTES. I AM CONFIDENT THAT EARLE WILL NEVER SUSPECT THIS.

THIS POEM, INCIDENTALLY, SERVED A DUAL PURPOSE IN WOOING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON. I THINK IT WORKED. DING DONG, WEDDING BELLS. SING A HAPPY TUNE." OKAY, HERE GOES.

My Epic Pie Poem, by Gordon Cole*

*(OH. THAT'S RIGHT. DIANE, MAKE NOTE THAT I SCRIBBLED THIS ON A NAPKIN FROM THE DINER.)

"I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD UP AND DIE,

WHEN I FIRST DID GORGE ON NORMA'S PIE.

THE TOP WAS LATTICED IN A GRID SO MERRY,

ITS FLAVOR: TART AND TANGY CHERRY.

IT RESTS SO SWEET INSIDE MY BELLY,

SERVED TO ME BY MY SWEETHEART, SHELLY.

THE PACK IT PUNCHED! WHAT A KICK!

I ATE SO MUCH IT MADE ME SICK!

I FEARED I SHOULD BE THOUGHT A HOG

BY THE SCOWLING LADY WITH THE LOG."

"I WILL BE RETURNING TO SEATTLE IN THREE DAYS. I HAVE A LAYOVER IN YAKIMA AND WILL BE RETURNING IN SEVERAL WEEKS, IF COOP CALLS FOR BACKUP. MAKE SURE THERE ARE CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS IN THE FRIDGE FOR AGENT STANLEY'S BIRTHDAY."