|Celeborn's Guide to Middle Earth
Author: Archet PM
Exactly what NOT to do while you're tramping around Middle Earth, demonstrated by everyone's favourite hobbits! Now cowritten with Elf from DownUnder!Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 14,001 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 05-06-13 - Published: 08-19-12 - id: 8445918
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter 7: Frodo's suspicions
Disclaimer: I do not own Tom Riddle (surprise, huh?)
6. Tom Bombadil is not in any way, shape, or form, related to Tom Riddle
Note: The text below was written by me, AKA Yours Truly, Peregrin Took, because I am awesome.
Another Note: Hi. Sam here. Just to let you know, this story makes me sound like a loser, which I'm not. I worked just as hard as Frodo to save those brats from the stupid tree.
'Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!' Merry screamed as he was shoved into some tree, 'This is DISGUSTING! Oh, hi Pippin, you got sucked into Old Man Willow too?'
'Don't worry!' Frodo exclaimed, 'We'll get you out!'
Kicking Sam, he stood up and started yanking on Merry's legs.
'Ow ow ow ow ow ow OW!' screamed Merry, 'Stop it!'
Sam decided to light a fire.
'STOP IT' Merry shouted, rolled over, and kicked Frodo in the face, 'Oops, sorry Frodo'
'Ow ow ow ow!' Frodo cried, oblivious to all but his bleeding nose, 'Help help help!'
Along the path came a strange noise. It sounded like a... it sounded like Sam in the morning.
'Hey doilies ring a ding dillo, here come old Tom Bombadillo. He comes to save you, so bow down to him'
The voice started to whistle.
As the tree slowly let me and Merry out (I smelled like sap for days), the singing man came into view. And he looked like a clown. Even worse than Sam in the morning, I realized.
'Whats your name, sir?' Frodo asked the dude (he must've been a hippie, or one of those elves)
'I?' He replied, 'I am Tom Bombadil, and...yeah. My boots are yellow. Kinda rhymes'
Frodo looked around at all us (I still smelled like sap if you're curious), 'I don't think we can trust him' the poor stressed hobbit whispered, 'I've heard of too many evil Toms'
'Like?' frowned Merry
'Tom Riddle. Look what he turned into'
'Fair point' agreed Merry, 'So, instead of responding to anything the hippie dude AKA Tom says, let's all run into the forest on the count of three'
'You alright over there?' Bombadil called out, getting tired of waiting.
'One, two, THREE!' screamed Sam and all of us ran into the forest, never to meet any creepy Toms ever again (at least in this story).
One more note: Hey, audience reading this. Aren't I awesome? IKR. And it's true that Sam doesn't know how to count to three. Sad, isn't it?
Funny how there are actually two Toms' in Harry Potter, but I couldn't think of any others. Except Tom Cruise, and Tom and Jerry. Huh. Interesting...