|The Fox and the Flirt
Author: TheOwl'sQuill PM
Best friends Alice and Jasmine find themselves transported to the world of D. Gray-Man and are stuck in the Black Order. Perverted jokes and cheesey romance abounds in this crack fic! This fic has a strong T ratingRated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,769 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 01-25-13 - Published: 08-28-12 - id: 8474867
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Special thanks to The Dark Door for commenting on chapter 3!
"So I hear they handed out a lot of missions this morning." Alice sat on the counter in the girl's washroom.
"To who?" Jasmine's voice came from the still running shower.
"Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Miranda, most of the exorcists. Kanda is staying though; I guess Komui thinks we still need a babysitter." The grey eyed girl picked up her tooth brush and squeezed out a glob of toothpaste.
"What about Cross?" Jasmine asked, coming out of the shower while rubbing her hair dry with a towel. She grinned at her friend who was brushing her teeth while sitting on the counter and swinging her feet.
"Ha! A four year old is more responsible than Cross!" she laughed, her mouth still full of toothpaste. Jasmine could only snort and nod as they both finished up in the washroom and headed back to their room.
"So," the shorter girl asked as they walked down the hall, "what are we gunna do since it's just the two of us?"
"I don't know. I thought maybe we could…"
"There you are Miss DDs!" Alice was cut off as Cross came running towards them. "Join me for a drink!" He shouted as he picked her up and flung her over his shoulder.
"No!" Jasmine shouted, reaching out to Alice as the masked man ran back down the hall. "That's the third time this week you asshole! STOP STEALING MY BEST FRIEND!" It was too late though, Cross was already down the hall and around the corner, and she probably wouldn't be getting Alice back for a few hours. Jasmine made her way back to their room and threw herself down on her bed with a groan. She was alone and had nothing to do, and she could already feel the boredom setting in.
"Now what am I gonna!?" she growled to herself. Jasmine was just about to give up and sleep all day when an idea hit her.
"Kanda!" Jasmine yelled and plopped down next to the exorcist, "I'm bored~!" she poked at his arm, ignoring the murderous look he gave her.
"So?" he growled, "what do I care?'
"But I'm boooooored~!"
"So find something to entertain yourself!"
"But there's nothing to do! Everyone is gone and Cross kidnapped Alice!" she continued to whine, but Kanda only ignored her.
"Kanda!" Jasmine scooted closer so she was almost sitting in his lap, "Entertain me!"
"No!" Kanda shoved Jasmine away, but she just started poking him again.
"No!" he started to get up and leave, but the brunette girl just grabbed hold of his leg.
"Don't leave me alone to be bored!" Kanda tried to shake Jasmine off, but she kept an iron grip.
"FINE! We'll go play chess or something!" The exorcist was seething, but Jasmine just let him drag her down the hall to his room.
"So… I don't actually know how to play chess…" the girl admitted when they were both sitting down with the chess board set up between them.
Kanda smacked himself in the forehead, "Whatever, I'll just teach you."
"Okay!" She smiled at him and wondered if, for just a second, he smiled back at her.
"Shouldn't you put it here, not there?" Alice heard her friend's voice coming out of one of the rooms. Isn't that Kanda's?
"This way is more interesting," she heard Kanda reply a little ruefully.
Alice quietly opened the door and peaked inside to see Jasmine and Kanda playing… chess?
Kanda took one of the brunette's pieces; Jasmine groaned and leaned back in her chair "Fuck!"
Alice heard someone coming down the hallway and quietly pulled her head back and shut the door. She could hear faint humming and recognized the tune as one of the more lewd bar songs Cross had recently taught her. Suddenly, the tall girl had an idea and sat down against the wall next to the door, mischief glinting in her eyes. As Cross approached he gave her a questioning look, but Alice merely put her finger to her lips and winked at him. As if on cue a manly, victorious grunt could be heard through the walls followed by a female moan. Cross grinned and sat down next to Alice, offering her the bottle he had with him.
"Fuuuuuck!" Jasmine crossed her arms, pouting as Kanda won again.
"Well that was fun." Kanda grinned mockingly.
"I'll show you fun!" Jasmine grabbed the nearest weapon, the pillow on Kanda's bed, and lunged for the exorcists.
"Ouch!" she cried when he threw the pillow back her; "Don't be so rough!"
By the time the only sound coming from the room was loud panting the crowd outside the door had grown substantially. Every person that had passed had become curious and stopped to see what the commotion was, and now nearly two dozen people had their ears pressed to the wall and door. Alice almost felt a little uncomfortable. She knew what was really going on in that room, but no one else did.
Bunch of pervs. She thought.
The tall girl suddenly felt a strong arm wrap around her waist and was pulled back away from the door.
"Won't she kill you for this?" Cross whispered in her ear just as the door knob began to turn.
"Nah, Minnie won't… though Kanda might." Cross couldn't see Alice's face, but he could imagine the laughter glittering in grey eyes.
The door swung open and Jasmine came out first looking quite… disheveled.
Alice struggled free from Cross's grip around her waist and grabbed her friend's arm, "There you are love! It's lunch time, so why don't we get cleaned up and head down to the cafeteria?" She began pulling Jasmine away before the confused girl could say something that would ruin everything.
Alice glanced back towards the crowd of people still around the door and grinned as Kanda came out of the room; she couldn't help but notice the swordsman looked a bit ruffled as well. She continued to drag Jasmine back to their room as she heard Kanda bark a quick, "What the hell are you looking at!?" to the assembled crowd before he stormed down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Okay, what did you do?" Jasmine asked Alice when they were close to their room. The entire way there she could tell Alice had been trying to hold back giggles and could barely hide her wide grin.
"I didn't really do anything, it's more what they think you did," Alice smirked. Closing the door and collapsing onto her bed.
"What did I do?" she asked, getting annoyed as Alice started giggling.
"It just sounded so wrong! I had no idea chess could sound so dirty! A-all I did was sit outside the door, and then Cross showed up and everyone else s-s-started stopping, and- Oh. My. God. They're all such pervs!" Jasmine could barely understand what her friend was saying through all the giggles, but she had a pretty good idea.
"They thought we were….!?"
"Of course they did. Why else would they all stand there outside the door like that if they hadn't thought someone had finally gotten into the pants of the infamous Yu Kanda?"
"I can't believe you!" Jasmine yelled and began beating Alice with a pillow until the tall girl's laughter had finally stopped; however, by that time Jasmine had been laughing just as hard.
"Oh damn, what's everyone going to think when they come back from their missions? There's no way they won't hear about it!" Jasmine whined as they both sat on Alice's bed.
"I doubt they'd believe it, and anyways I'll tell them if you want. I've had my fun."
Jasmine thought about it for a moment, "Huh, let them think what they want, it was too good to spoil it. Besides, it'll still be fun watching everyone freak out about it."
Afterwords Jasmine and Alice had quickly gotten washed up and made their way down to eat lunch. Not much had happened other than the voices in the room practically roaring when the girls had gotten there, but had dropped to dead silence as soon as they walked through the door.
It was mid-morning the next day when everyone started coming back from missions. The second Allen and Lavi had walked through the door they had been ambushed and forced to sit on a couch that was already occupied by Kanda.
"What's all this about!?" Lavi shouted as he noticed Bookman and Komui were also in the room, along with Cross who had kidnapped them.
Komui cleared his throat, "I-it has come to our attention that, uh- in light of recent …incidents…"
"Oh for the love of-! We're just teachin the boys about the birds and the bees Komui!" Cross grinned and pulled out a cigarette.
And so concludes chapter 4! Anyone else feel a little worried for our young heroes?
Please review and comeback next week for chapter 5!