Blood Runs Deep

Chapter 2--  I Wont Let him See me Cry

Author Note:  Loooook!  I got another chapter out!! huge sweat-drop  Don’t worry, updates for everything else are coming also.  Got sick, had had hard drive problems, can’t get enough sleep, blah, blah. Any way, lots of stuff has been getting in the way of me writing if you couldn’t guess… so don’t worry, it isn’t writer’s block.  It’s “life” block.  Tho sometimes I wonder which is worse…..  I’m really glad everyone is liking the story tho… I must be veeery cautious to keep the lovely brothers in character …   Also, I don’t like the theories about Sesshoumaru having raped etc. Inuyasha when he was little and whatnot… cringe  So you don’t have to worry, that, I can at least assure you, is not something that happened in my book.  But… its still angsty

Vocabulary:

Oh my god, it’s a miracle.  No vocab in this chapter.

Sesshoumaru kept his eyes focused on his brother’s as he slowly stepped forward towards the bed.  Inuyasha’s eyes were wide and his lips slightly parted as he found himself unable to do anything but stare in dread as his elder brother drew closer, one painstakingly slow step at a time.  They were alone now… just the two of them…

No swords…

No snarls… No attacks… No threats… No blood… No glares… No poison… Not even the harsh words that often flew between them…

‘Yet…’  Inuyasha repeated to himself, the warning echoing over and over through his mind.  When they had exchanged words before… no matter when the occasion, there was always at least the underlying resentment in eyes… the venom at the edge of their voice… the posture, that ever-mutually said that they were wasting time as long as they were in one another’s presence…

But not now….

It was just the two of them.  Alone…

Where was the resentment in those golden eyes?  The disgust?  The hate… Sesshoumaru’s eyes were devoid of any negative, nor positive emotions; just merely… calm… and watching him.  Coming closer…  Why?  Why…did it bother him so much to see his brother looking at him like that?  Devoid of darkness…

It made him shudder, and he suppressed a wince as his tender muscles felt the ripple of movement.  When was the last time they were like this?  Alone, with no apparent intention of fighting…to talk…?

Never…

And then suddenly, Sesshoumaru was there, standing at his bedside; right above him, watching impassively.  Inuyasha’s eyes widened even more, his every nerve frayed and tense.  He was wounded, vulnerable, and immobile on his back…And by some deranged twist of fate… he was somehow lying this way as his brother towered over him. 

Sesshoumaru seemed content to observe him in his standing place there for a moment, before he made to move again.  Inuyasha’s eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open further as he let out a yelp and shuffled as far away on the bed as possible once he saw what his brother was doing.  Sesshoumaru… Sesshoumaru…!!  …was sitting on his bed!

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and Inuyasha stared a moment more before recalled his yelp seconds before.  He colored in embarrassment and bowed his head quickly to hide his face, unruly white hair falling forward to help shadow his features; hands fisted in the cloth over his body. 

Inuyasha found himself staring down at the bandages wrapped across his chest and abdomen.  His wide eyes fell half-lidded as he swallowed again heavily.  What was wrong with him?  He had thought he had managed to compose himself decent enough earlier, when Sesshoumaru had been in the room with him before.  As a matter of fact… he had been at his bedside at that time as well…  so why did it surprise him so much now?

‘Well…before was different.’ He told himself.  Why?  ‘…Because I was asleep for most of it.’  Damn, wait, …that made it worse.  But perhaps Sesshoumaru hadn’t been expecting him to awaken, and so felt it alright to sit beside him. Inuyasha shook his head silently.  Shit, no.  His brother never needed an excuse for anything he did; because he was Sesshoumaru.  Keh.  He felt like he was going insane though...  Which situation was stranger—waking up to his brother sitting on his bed, sitting beside a human girl, or being alone in a room with his brother sitting on his bed?  Inuyasha snorted.

Alone.

Sesshoumaru watched in silent amusement as Inuyasha struggled with his thoughts.  He had legitimate reason to… And the Demon Lord had no problem admitting that the situation was unexpected and sudden, if not a little atypical.  The only times they were ever ‘swords down’ with one another was when facing a mutual enemy; and that scenario was most obviously not applicable to their current situation.  Sesshoumaru could not say he himself was completely calm… 

Silence fell between them, of a different kind, as they both soothed their senses with it; and of one another’s presence. 

After a few moments Sesshoumaru let out a soft sigh and lowered his hand from his lap to the sheets, trailing feather-light fingers across each crease in the fabric; showing his boredom with the silent imbedded question being if his younger brother had composed himself enough or not. 

Inuyasha knew Sesshoumaru was waiting for him to calm down the moment his fingers touched fabric.  He couldn’t trust himself enough to talk yet without saying something stupid… and he didn’t want to make a fool of himself, for some crazy reason.  So he was contented to watch those fingers trail around monotonously… That is, until they trailed one inch too close to his leg… Then before he could stop himself he flinched and spat out the first thing that came to his mind.

“Why…?”

Sesshoumaru paused, and the fingers stopped, much to Inuyasha’s relief.  And the elder dog demon looked up, catching his brother’s eyes again with a look just as impassive as before, but with a certain hint of wonderment that confused Inuyasha to no end.  This gaze was not so piercing though, Inuyasha noted, and he did not flinch beneath it.

“I had thought I was bringing you home to bury you, Inuyasha…” 

It was not exactly answering the question, but… Inuyasha blinked in surprise before snorting and looking away.  “Bury me?” He questioned skeptically.  “Why would you dirty your high and mighty hands burying me?  To have the pleasure of kicking dirt over my corpse? Why even bother bringing me home?” He scoffed, while something felt quenched inside, ‘So I am ‘home’… He brought me all the way out into the Western Lands domain…’  At least he knew where he was now….

“Fool!”  Sesshoumaru growled and Inuyasha gasped, flinching away from the tone.  The glare that focused on him now was sharp and hard.  Sesshoumaru’s hand shot out and grasped Inuyasha’s face, dragging him forward.  Inuyasha cried out in surprise and grabbed at his wrist in vain.  The claws pricked at his cheeks and Inuyasha found himself held in place nearly nose to nose with his brother.  “You spite and oppose all those that ridicule you for what you are…” Sesshoumaru sneered.  “And yet you refuse and ignore every bit of respectable blood in your veins, when one would expect you would gloat about it. What right have you to even spite them for their mockery if you never even try to defend yourself to their words?”

It was Inuyasha’s turn to glare, and he replied with a defiant growl, “And whose fault is that, huh!?” he spat.  “You! You tell me time and again how worthless I am! Why acknowledge my blood when my only family doesn’t even acknowledge me!?”

Sesshoumaru stared into Inuyasha’s eyes in visible surprise.  Inuyasha gasped and closed his mouth, biting his tongue, wanting to look away, unused to seeing that expression. But the fingers held firmly on his jaw, and he closed his eyes instead.  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything…’ Inuyasha cursed himself.  ‘…He’s sheltering me, though I don’t know why…  But now he probably wants to slaughter me all over again, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it…’  The claws no longer pricked against his skin as the grip on his jaw softened, but Inuyasha forced himself to keep his eyes shut.  He didn’t want to see the anger in those eyes, not so close.  When the silence did break, it wasn’t with the words he expected.

“Where have your friends gone, Inuyasha?”

His eyes snapped open, and Sesshoumaru stared right into them blankly.  Inuyasha’s mouth fell open and he found that no matter how much he tried, he could not respond.  His wide eyes suddenly stung and Inuyasha cursed to himself furiously, ‘No, no,…not now.  Not here.  …Not in front of him!’

“You were completely alone…. Lying there, in your own blood…”

There was something very strange about hearing his brother speak of how he had found him.  He had completely blacked out… and his last moments were a blur… so he had no idea what kind of scene his brother had come across.  But when his thoughts trailed to the battle he had to stop himself… he didn’t want to remember that right now… Had his brother taken pity on him then?  Had he been such a pitiful sight?  Is that why Sesshoumaru had tended to him?

“You claim I deny you, Inuyasha… But, tell me then…when have I ever claimed you weren’t my brother?”

The question caught Inuyasha off guard, and he blinked for a moment before he opened his mouth to reply.  The answer felt like it was on the tip of his tongue, but he found himself speechless; and that pissed him off.  His brother had never accepted him… so what point was he trying to make? 

“Can’t think of any?”  Sesshoumaru smirked slightly, but it quickly disappeared.  “That’s because I never have, Inuyasha.”  Inuyasha growled and frowned in disbelief.  “But you always….”  He trailed off,  still flustered that he couldn’t sort out his thoughts well enough.

“Always?  Always what?”  Sesshoumaru asked quietly.  The quiet tone was almost as unnerving as the threatening one… His brother was in a weird mood, Inuyasha decided.  But then again, his brother was touching his face, not melting it off… ‘Never mind that…’  Inuyasha felt a trickle of sweat run down the side of his face.  His brother was so close he could feel his breath on his face… ‘Why is he doing this?  What the fuck is he even talking about?’

 “Always… even the way you… talk to me…”  Inuyasha whispered unsurely. 

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and looked away, his expression a bit more bleak, “The way we’ve always interacted is irrelevant… I’m asking you, when have I ever denied or said you were not my brother?” To that, Inuyasha once again had nothing to say.  Instead he merely stared, waiting for the explanation or point to the words.  Sesshoumaru did not continue however, and did the same, silently awaiting a reply.

 Inuyasha frowned, “What… are you trying to tell me?”  He seriously had no clue.  He got lost back somewhere between his brother not melting his face off and exchanging words that didn’t consist of yelling ‘bastard’ and ‘die’ back and forth. 

“I am telling you, brother,” Sesshoumaru turned his head back around to look at him once more, “That you are my brother, and I have always known, and never denied that.” 

Inuyasha stared.

It seemed like a really stupid statement… But he suddenly couldn’t breathe.  So many years of sneering and pointless fights, and then Sesshoumaru becoming so determined to get Tetsusaiga.  Somewhere amidst the ‘worthless hanyou’ and ‘disgrace!’ he had assumed, like anyone with half a brain would in his opinion, that Sesshoumaru didn’t even want to acknowledge they were related.  So, hearing Sesshoumaru practically say, “Inuyasha, I am your brother,” was like hearing Miroku say he’d never grab another ass in his life.

A small invisible weight seemed lifted, but only a little… most likely because he was still confused as hell.  Inuyasha also felt as if he were supposed to be satisfied by this revelation in some way or another, but something held that feeling back.  What…?  Then he remembered.

“You goddamn liar!” Inuyasha suddenly shouted.  He brought his hands up to grab at the wrist that held his face in place.  Damn he had a strong grip… “If you mean that, then what the hell is all that shit you’ve been spewing at me all this time!?  That you accept me as your brother but hate my guts? Why bother even saying anything then?! And OUCH, let go of my FACE!!”  Inuyasha then proceeded to tug at the wrist in his grip with renewed passion.

“Brother,”  Sesshoumaru hissed, ignoring the gasp from Inuyasha as he gripped his jaw almost painfully tight, “I am not about to analyze every fight we’ve had and the words between us.  I merely stated a fact, and aside from that, I was not the only one insulting the other.”  Inuyasha snorted, grumbling, “I never started the fight…”  he wondered if his brother even had and answer that would give their fights logic.

The fingers against his jaw lessened their pressure and Inuyasha sighed in relief.  ‘So he accepts me as his brother…’  Inuyasha didn’t really know what to feel about that.  But he felt…something.  Relief, maybe… even though it certainly didn’t erase all of their fighting, even then.  It wasn’t as if Sesshoumaru was saying their relationship was going to change either…

Thought it already had.  Sesshoumaru had saved him… healed him.  Even if his brother didn’t act any different towards him, and still ridiculed him, he wouldn’t be able to forget that.  He didn’t hate his brother, never had.  But he didn’t like him at all either.  He had hated Naraku.  The only thing he had against his brother was that his brother had something against him.  His brother’s resentment towards him and constant want of Tetsusaiga was just a hectic annoyance.  He fought fire with fire though… returning the resentment because it was directed towards him first. 

If that resentment disappeared… he didn’t know what he would do…

Without really noticing, Inuyasha lowered his right hand until only his left remained, resting lightly on the hand that touched his face.  Sesshoumaru looked vaguely surprised, but Inuyasha didn’t see since he had closed his eyes, drowning in unanswered questions.

“Why did you save me?”

Inuyasha heard Sesshoumaru huff a bit, whether annoyance or at the irony tough he didn’t know.  He didn’t open his eyes when there was no answer, and actually… he didn’t really expect one.  It was just a voiced thought…  The silence now wasn’t at all uncomfortable, and Inuyasha was rather surprised to admit he could very well fall asleep exactly where he was.  ‘If only you could see me now, Kagome…’  Inuyasha felt himself smile bitterly.  ‘I’m sitting on the same bed as my brother, on the verge of sleep…’ 

He had been determined not to think of such things yet, but the thought of what Kagome was doing at that moment had already passed before he felt the stinging return to his eyes.  No, no, no!! He couldn’t cry right now.  When had it happened that he accepted the fact he was even capable of crying? ‘It was when I thought Kagome had died that one time…’ He bit his lip bloody trying to calm himself. ‘Don’t think about it… stop thinking about it…not here, not now…’

‘Not in front of him…’

Either Sesshoumaru could read his mind, wanted to rub it in, or coincidentally remembered he had never answered the question… But, he asked again of his friends whereabouts… And with those words Inuyasha wanted no more than to rip the hand off his jaw and leave claw marks across that emotionless face. 

It seemed he was going to break that promise he made to himself all those years ago…

…That he would never cry in front of his brother.

To be continued…..

OO  Sooorrry it took so long.  Heh… Still keeping up with everything?   Hope its keeping your interest, new chapter wont be too long off.