Disclaimer: The characters of Dean, JC, Chloe, Josh and anyone else who was in Blue Juice belongs to Trimark Pictures and Carl Prechezer and Peter Salmi. Piper, Emerson, and anyone not in Blue Juice are mine.

Author's Note: We all have our perception of Dean. This is mine. Also, the title comes from an Incubus song called "I Miss You." The line goes, "To know that you feel the same as I do is a threefold utopian dream."

CHAPTER ONE

Dean Raymond narrowed his blue-green eyes as he inspected the side of the black surfboard. The edge was still rough. Sighing, he picked up his sander and went to work. Scrape, scrape, scrape. He worked at it until the edge was as smooth as he liked. When he was satisfied, he placed the sander on the table next to him and hung up the board. He stood back and admired his handiwork. Who knew he had such a knack for creating surfboards?

He lovingly traced the design on the front of the board. It was a picture of two dolphins, one white and one black, chasing each other with a crystal blue wave behind them. Around the circle was a saying that he and his three best friends held dear, "One life.no fear." It had been based on the yin and the yang. Dean was proud of it; it had become his trademark. He had only been in business for two years, but already people were collecting his boards.

"Dean, if you stare at that board long enough, you might burn a hole through it," someone said behind him. Snapping out of his daydreams, Dean turned around to see JC and his three-year-old daughter Jordyn standing there. A big smile spread across his handsome face.

"JC! How are you?" He asked, a sparkle lighting up his sea-blue eyes. Without waiting for an answer, he immediately knelt down to look Jordyn in the eyes. She was the spitting image of her mother with dark hair and blue eyes. JC always said that he was thankful for that. "Hey, kidling! Have you got a hug for your Uncle Dean?"

She didn't have to be asked twice. Jordyn pulled free from her father and wrapped her tiny arms around Dean's neck. She adored Dean. He was the one out of all of her father's friends who loved to play, and he could always make her laugh.

The feeling was mutual. Ever since the day she was born, Dean couldn't get enough of her. She stirred something in him that hadn't been brought to the surface before. He wanted a wife and a family of his own. Just seeing her and her father made Dean a little jealous. He wanted what JC had, but he never quite knew how to express it.

"We're doing well. Chloe's running the Shack today so I thought I'd take a walk with Jordyn here," JC explained as he ran a hand through his thick, blond hair.

Dean lifted Jordyn with him as he stood. "Well, you know you're both always welcome." He then turned his attention to the little girl in his arms. "You like coming to Uncle Dean's shop, don't you? Come on, let's see if there are any toys back here." Happily, he took Jordyn back to the playroom he had set up for her. JC just shook his head and followed.

Dean set Jordyn down and let her run wild in the little room. Knowing the toddler would be occupied for hours, he gave JC his undivided attention. "So, other than the walk, what brings you to Blue Juice Surfboards?" Dean pulled out a chair and sat down, indicating another chair to JC.

"Well, Jordyn and I thought we'd pay you a visit and give something to you," JC said as he sat down. He leaned back in the chair and placed his hands in his pockets. He pulled a wrinkled picture out of his pocket and placed it in Dean's hands. "Do you remember her?"

Dean examined the picture closely and smiled. The image was of a beautiful woman in her late twenties with full, chestnut curls that fell past her shoulders and bright, almond-shaped green eyes. Her face was heart-shaped, and she had full lips. Yes, Dean remembered her well. "Piper Gallimore," he said. He glanced up. "I haven't thought about her in years. Where did you find this?"

"Chloe and I were cleaning out the attic the other day, and I came across this picture. I thought you might like to have it."

Dean gazed at the picture once more. "Why would you keep a thing like this? She very plainly told me, and I quote, 'You're a stupid, little boy, Dean, and I don't want to ever hear about or see you again'." He chuckled. "I guess she couldn't handle me."

JC leaned forward. "Hardly anybody can handle you, Dean. I remember you two were inseparable. What happened? You never did tell us why she left you."

"I told you. It was because I was too much man for her."

"Dean, I'm asking you seriously."

"Why do you want to know so much? It happened four years ago."

"Because I know you're full of shit." JC indicated the picture. "Besides, I got curious when I found the picture in a shoebox that was yours."

Dean looked up sharply at this revelation. He had been hoping to play the picture off as JC's. "How did my shoebox wind up in your attic?" he asked, trying to cover up his reaction.

JC shrugged as he lit a Marlboro and sat back in his seat. "I don't know. I guess you must have left it there when you moved into your own place. Now, what happened?"

Dean placed the picture on a small table next to him and sighed. He lit a cigarette of his own and took a long drag. "There was so much shit going on four years ago. I was dealing, and she was finishing school. She couldn't put up with me and my shit anymore. Just decided to walk out one day and never look back." He stopped and let his eyes fall on the door that led out into his shop. "Man, I wonder what she's doing now."

JC chuckled and took a puff off his own cigarette. "You loved her, didn't you?"

Dean laughed. "Where did you get that idea? I never loved her. She was just a convenient bird at the time."

"Oh, come on, Dean. I saw your face just now. I also remember that weekend you and the guys came down. After Josh and Terry fell asleep, you stayed up all night and talked my ear off about her. I think you loved her and you still do." JC took another drag.

Dean grinned. "She was quite a girl, wasn't she?" he reluctantly admitted. He untied his sandy locks and let them fall past his shoulders. He then wrapped the rubber band around his fingers. "Anyway, even if I did love her, it's been four years. She's probably still mad and wouldn't talk to me."

JC regarded him. "Have you ever tried to get in touch with her?" He asked after a short pause. "After all, you've changed a lot in four years. You're not the same screw-up she used to know."

"I know," Dean answered, his eyes trained on the rubber band. "Still, I don't think I could. She'd never believe I've changed."

JC shrugged and leaned back into the chair again. "Think about it, mate. You never know until you try. You haven't been too happy lately; maybe she's the spark you need."

Dean looked up at him. "What do you mean I haven't been happy lately?" He sat back in his chair and held out his arms. "I have all this, and I haven't screwed up anybody's life lately. What more could I want?"

The older man gave him a patronizing look. "Dean, I've known you since we were kids. I can tell when you're not really happy." Without waiting for a reply, he put his cigarette out and stood up. "Well, Jordyn and I need to get back. I promised Chloe I'd give her a break from the Shack." He walked over to his daughter and, with difficulty, coaxed her away from Dean's toys.

Dean, too, stood up and walked them out through the shop. At the door, JC stopped and looked him dead in the eye.

"Think about what I said," he began. "You've changed. Give Piper a call and see what happens."

"JC, even if I wanted to, how would I find her? London's a big city. Hell, she might not even live in London anymore."

JC shook it off. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Josh has a few contacts he could use. You just let me know if you do want to find her."

Dean eyed him suspiciously. This was all a little too convenient for his taste. What did JC have hidden up his sleeves? "All right," he cautiously said.

JC glanced down at his daughter. "Come on, Jordyn, let's go see Mummy." With that, he waved to Dean and left.

*******

All night, Dean lie awake and thought about what JC had said. Piper Gallimore. Ever since she broke his heart, Dean had promised himself that he wasn't going to get into that situation again. In fact, part of the point of that trip to visit JC was to help him get over her. It hadn't worked. Oh, he had tried to hide his feelings from the guys, but he had always thought about her. That's why he had kept the picture.

He rolled over onto his side and picked up the picture from its spot on his nightstand. This wasn't like him. To the world, Dean presented the carefree side of himself. He didn't care what anyone thought. Sometimes it didn't matter what he had to use to get what he wanted. Josh had so much with his successful career, what did it matter if he borrowed his credit card or his cell phone? Of course, all that had changed when his three friends had turned on him the day he decided to ride the Boneyard. Dean often had a tendency to get carried away and to forget about everyone around him.

Piper had seen past all that, though. She had had a knack for finding the dreamer buried within the happy-go-lucky demeanor. The problem was she couldn't get him to realize that it didn't matter if he was lighthearted or not, as long as he loved her. She also couldn't make him see how stupid drug dealing was, especially the kind he was doing. He supposed that she just got tired of it all.

After mulling over his memories for hours, Dean sat upright in bed. That was it; he had made his decision. He was going to take JC up on his idea and try to find her. He glanced at his clock and smiled. It was six o'clock. That wasn't a big deal; JC always got up between seven and seven thirty. He wouldn't mind if his best friend dropped by and woke him up an hour ahead of time. Besides, this was important.

Dean quickly got dressed and headed out the door.

*****

After knocking five times on the door, Dean heard the latch unhook and the door opened. A bleary-eyed JC peered out of it. "Dean, it's six-fifteen in the morning. What is so damn important?"

"Hey, JC! Can I come in?" Dean asked as he shoved his way into the house.

"Sure," JC mumbled as he closed the door behind his friend.

Dean ambled into the living room and made himself at home on the fluffy, burgundy couch. "I've decided to take you up on the idea."

"The idea?" JC still wasn't awake yet, and Dean wasn't making any sense. Of course, Dean never made any sense, especially this early in the morning.

"The idea to find Piper. Remember?"

"Oh, right." JC stumbled into a soft, burgundy chair that sat across from the couch.

"Okay, what do I need to do?"

JC narrowed his blue eyes. "Dean, you woke me up at six-fifteen in the morning because you want to find Piper? I guarantee she's not even awake yet. Go home and we'll talk about this tomorrow." He stood up and started to head for the door in hopes that Dean would follow.

Dean didn't move. "It is tomorrow, JC, and I haven't been able to sleep since you brought it up. I need to do this now. Come on, help out a friend."

Damn! How did Dean know how to make JC feel so guilty? Exasperated, he sat back down and rubbed his eyes. "You need to call Josh. When I found the picture, I started to think that you might be curious about her. I called Josh and asked him if he could find out where she was. He said he would, but he hasn't told me the information. That's all I know."

Dean jumped up. He would have to go to London. No problem. "All right, then I'll go see Josh. Thanks for all your help, JC. I can find my way out." With that, he marched towards the door.

"Dean, do you intend on calling him before you get there?" JC called.

Dean chuckled. "Oh, no need." With that, he left.

JC shook his head and started back to bed. Would he ever get Dean out of that habit? He wondered as he climbed into his soft, warm bed next to Chloe.