|An Innocent Discovery
Author: Taste of the Forbidden Contest PM
Isabella Swan carries a well-guarded secret about the older man she grew up next door to. Edward, who harbors his own secrets, makes an innocent discovery about his little girl's best friend.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Edward & Bella - Words: 9,501 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 223 - Published: 09-01-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8486932
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Taste of the Forbidden Contest
Title: An Innocent Discovery
Rating: M (Explicit)
Word Count: 9,351
Pairing: Edward & Bella
Sumary: Isabella Swan carries a well-guarded secret about the older man she grew up next door to. Edward, who harbors his own secrets, makes an innocent discovery about his little girl's best friend.
Disclaimer: Stephenie owns The Twilight Saga Gazillion Dollar Franchise.
An Innocent Discovery
My best friend Tia and I had spent our last summer before senior year by her pool. Every day, we swam, lounged, and soaked up what little sun our small town had to offer.
"I really have to go home," I stand up, grabbing my things. "Charlie is coming home for dinner, and I promised I would cook."
"Lucky Charlie," his smooth voice is right behind me as his hot breath blows over my shoulder, startling me. I turn to see Edward standing merely inches from me on his patio. My eyes drop to the way his hands rest in his pockets, and I almost groan. I know the minute he begins to walk will have me soaking wet, most likely to seep through my bikini bottoms right here in front of him.
Edward has a swagger unlike anything I have ever seen before. Whenever I make eye contact with him, my mouth goes dry and I lose the ability to speak. Each day this affliction seems to worsen, and I wonder if there ever come a time when he doesn't affect me this way.
He also happens to be my best friend's father, who works underneath my dad as one of his officers. We have lived next door to them for as long as I can remember. My father, Charlie Swan, is the police chief of our town Forks.
Charlie worked long hours that brought him to bed at night dragging his feet, and right back to work first thing in the morning. As a result, I spent a lot of time growing up around the Masens. It was only my dad and I because my mother left us when I was too young to remember. There was no one at home waiting for me after school, so many of my afternoons were spent with Tia and her family.
I want to die of embarrassment, standing here in this red bikini Renee got me for my birthday. It is the only suit I have, but it leaves nothing to the imagination.
I somehow manage to garner a smile for him, until I see his eyes noticeably scan down the front of me.
Did he just give me the up, down?
"You girls have fun today?" he asks, finally stepping around me, and I know I should look away, but I cannot help it. I have to watch Edward's sexy-ass swagger that only he can pull off. There is something about the way that man struts that wakes up my girly parts and leaves my heart fluttering and swoony.
He leans down, kissing Tia on the forehead.
"Hey, Daddy," she answers sweetly. "We did, but I lost track of time. Can we hit the diner tonight?"
"Sure, baby, go put some clothes on." He brushes her hair out of her eyes. He turns back and winks at me as he struts past, heading back into the house.
It takes every ounce of strength I have to keep control so as not to ogle him. That only worsens when I have to keep up the charade in front of his daughter. I gather my things and enter through the French doors shortly after Edward had. I didn't expect him to be standing next to the counter, his hands gripping it firmly with his back facing me.
"Fuck," he groans aloud. "I can't handle this bullshit!"
I let go of the damn door as it slams, startling him. Edward's head lifts up and he turns quickly. His expression leaves me wary because he looks so angry.
"Sorry," I whisper.
His eyes drop to my mouth, then my breasts, down to the dip in the front of my bikini bottoms and back up again. He sighs heavily and then gives me the sweetest smile.
"No, it's all right." Then he turns, quickly running for the stairs.
Confused, I leave Tia's to make it home in time to prepare dinner. I wasn't about to miss the opportunity to peek out the window and watch Edward walk out to his car with Tia as they left to go eat as well.
When Charlie finally arrives, we sit down for dinner; I don't hesitate when he finally asks me during the meal what I want for my birthday.
"I lost my diary," I answer, looking up at him. "I would like a new one."
The entire experience today would have made it into my diary, if I hadn't recently lost it. All those years and all those memories of all things I wrote about Edward are just gone. I wrote in my diary everyday, and I am devastated over the fact that I had managed to lose it at the beach...
He nods. "You pick it out, let me know where and how much, and I will get it for you. Sound good?"
"Perfect!" I smile, and enjoy the rest of dinner in our familiar silence.
Tia and I have been best friends for years. We grew up living right next door to each other. Our friendship only grew stronger after one of the worst days of her life. We were fifteen and had just come home from school, and we heard yelling coming from her house as we walked up the drive.
Tia's mother Tanya was yelling at her father, accusing him of having some affair and how she didn't want to live in this town anymore. She screamed that she hated her life here, then announced that she wanted to take Tia and move to Los Angeles.
Edward's voice could be heard for miles.
"It will be a cold day in hell before you ever take Tia away from me! And I have never fucking cheated on you! If Los Angeles is where you want to be, then go."
Tia ran up the stairs and threw open the door, crying and watching her parents argue. I stood there beside her as we witnessed her father say, "Tanya, I want a divorce. You are no longer welcome in my home, and I have already filed for full custody of Tia."
Tia was my most cherished BFF, and I promised her from that moment on that I would be there for her every step of the way.
Tia felt torn between them in the following weeks, especially when her mom moved out. A few months later, she and I sat in the den doing homework one afternoon when Tia's father came home unusually early from work.
He had this bright gleam in his green eyes, and that gorgeous half-crooked smile graced his lips. It didn't go unnoticed by me how beautiful he looked that day. His mood was beyond happy, and his grin widened as he walked towards Tia. My eyes fell to what he held in his hand. A blue box from the infamous Tiffany and Co. wrapped in a white satin bow.
He knelt down in front of Tia, who was staring wide-eyed beside me.
"Daddy bought his little girl something. Baby…you are not going to have to endure going back and forth between your mother and I. You are solely mine, Tia, at least until you are ready to fall in love and leave your old man to find your own happily ever after. You will always be my little girl, and I want you to know that."
He placed the box on her knee, smiling at her.
Edward won sole custody of Tia, and my heart swelled for them both; It meant that I got to keep them both in my life.
I remember watching Tia open her gift; a pang of jealousy hit me when she pulled out a bracelet that had a small crystal heart and a gold charm that says, "Daddy's girl."
She squealed out excitedly, throwing herself at him. I fought back my own tears, watching them as he hugged her tightly and laughed.
It was days like those that really make me feel unbelievably lucky to have both of them. Since then, Edward's routine had changed slightly, as he had now taken up jogging. He would run every night before dinner, and I relished seeing him return covered in sweat and panting as I watched from my bedroom window.
I didn't think it was possible to fall harder for a man I could never have. I doubted if there would ever be a time that I would get over my feelings towards him. Some nights, I cried myself to sleep because the desire to be with him was unbearable.
I put myself through the most pleasurable torture of sitting at their breakfast table every day before school so that I would get that one chance to ogle one of the sexiest creatures on the planet. I made sure to always arrive at the same time every day, knowing exactly when Edward would walk out of the kitchen, shirtless.
The sexiest man sits there every day, with no shirt, denim button flys hung low on his hips, and that last button always left unfastened, waiting to be done up, as he carried in a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee.
It made every day worth living.
I kept my carefully guarded secret of the crush I carried for Mr. Masen, and I am resolved to the fact that I will never find a guy my own age that will ever live up to him.
I coveted every look, every smile, every compliment, and every given opportunity of his touch. I replay every one of these repeatedly in my own mind and catalog it in my diary to read when I am alone in my room most nights.
I've worried that Tia wasn't as naïve as I'd hoped she'd be and wondered if she could see my adoration for her father. Luckily for me, she hasn't seemed to have caught on…yet.
First thing this morning, Tia shows up at my door bearing my birthday gift. Today I am officially legal, only I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. I sigh, thinking I got away with it passing while no one noticed.
I couldn't be more wrong.
An hour later, I am walking behind Tia dressed in a burgundy velvet halter dress that is far shorter than anything I have ever worn before. I admit it is cute, but still, did it have to be so damn short?
"Tia, you know how I feel about surprises!" I stop walking to demand an answer.
"Where are you planning to take me?"
"Oh, Bella, don't ruin this! I promise – we are going to have so much fun. Everything is already set up, and my dad will be home any minute, so we need to hurry. You don't want to keep my dad waiting now, do you?"
I narrow my eyes at her, wondering once again if Tia knows more than she is letting on. Especially when she uses the potential of her father's disappointment against me.
I give in, following closely behind her as we head towards her house.
"Why are all the lights off?" I ask.
"I haven't been home all day, silly." She laughs, unlocking the door and throwing it open.
I shriek, gripping my chest to try to calm the frantic beating of my heart after having the beejezus scared out of me.
I look into the sea of familiar faces staring back at me, and I feel my cheeks burn at the very thought of what is painfully obvious.
It is a surprise birthday party. I fight the urge to groan in horror.
I am brought out of my haze of embarrassment when I feel Tia tugging my arm while jumping and laughing.
"You had no idea, huh?" Her blinding smile makes her even more radiant than she already is.
"No, you little brat!" I slap at her arm. I want to turn around and bolt, but as I scan the room, my eyes land on Charlie, who lied to me about having to work because he is not in uniform but here smiling from ear to ear. He walks towards me, planting a kiss on the top of my head and wishing me a Happy Birthday.
He steps back, and once again my world shifts on its axis that moment my body feels what I know will be him somewhere in this room. My body is always attuned to his presence. I could never understand that.
My blush deepens now that I am standing merely inches from him. I look up and feel as though the breath has been sucked out of me. His megawatt smile that makes my heart skip a beat is even more beautiful now that I am so close to him. My knees weaken, and I am sure to faint if I don't get a grip on myself.
Hearing his voice is like the soft feel of velvet against your bare skin while tasting the sweetest chocolate as it melts in your mouth. Every time I hear his voice, everything else ceases to exist.
I cannot move, let alone breathe, as his voice lowers to a soft whisper. My heart launches into a frantic beat when his lips are next to my ear. The words are simple, but when they come from his lips, it is as if he is speaking poetry.
"Happy birthday, Bella."
Then, for the first time since I have known him, I feel his lips brush against my jaw just below my ear, kissing my cheek. I am so totally stunned, and my entire body ignites like a live wire as if ten thousand volts of electricity have shocked me.
"Thank you, Mr. Masen." I look up at him, feeling both bashful but still wanting to throw my arms around him all at the same time.
"Are you ever going to stop making me feel like an old geezer and just call me Edward?"
I smile apologetically, loving the way he says his own name, and I try it out for the first time. "Yes, Edward."
I watch his jaw drop slightly, his eyes glaze over, and I swear I see longing in those green eyes of his.
"Dad! Your gift!" Tia interrupts us and I look down to see the little blue box he is holding in the palm of his hand.
Suddenly, I want to cry.
I hear people talking all around me, gifts being thrust at me, but I cannot help but watch him take a step back to allow others to congratulate me.
I get one chance to make a wish tonight. I already know what it is going to be when I blow out my candles.
All I want is just one night.
I know it is one of those unattainable dreams, but there is nothing wrong with dreaming.
All evening, I would swear that I could feel him watching me. Every time I look over his way, his eyes seem to smolder before someone would capture his attention, forcing him to look away. I am almost certain of it.
After saying goodbye to the last of the guests, Tia and Ben drag me out to the garage.
"Bella I need a favor! Ben and I want to spend the night at his place. Can you just tell my dad I am going to go stay with you?" She begs me to lie to her father. Apparently tonight, she and Ben were about to go all the way, and I couldn't be happier for her. I let her convince me, but before she walks out of the garage, she reaches over to her dad's car and pulls his jacket off the hood, tossing it to me.
"He's cleaning up around the patio. I assume he's still outside so you can toss it in on his bed, but hurry. Try to get in and out quickly."
So now here I stand, in front of Edward Masen's bedroom door, holding his leather jacket.
I knock quietly, letting myself in when there is no answer.
The scent of burning wood fills my senses as the warmth of the room blankets my body. The fireplace sits in the corner of the master bedroom with a pair of wingback chairs facing the burning embers. I look around, awestruck by how comfortable it feels in here. His essence is everywhere, from the large canopy bed on my right, to the jacket I now hold close to my chest. I am so aroused. Just by breathing in the scent of him causes my body to ignite. I can feel my heart skip a few beats imagining him in this very room.
I lift the fabric to my nose and inhale, not wanting to let it go, but I finally relent and place his jacket on the bed. I brush my hand over his bedspread, knowing that this is where he sleeps, and I wonder if he is ever naked when he does. I instinctively rub my thighs together in reaction to the thought.
"Did you have a nice birthday?" That familiar, sultry voice calls out, startling me out of my own haze of fantasies. I turn to face the direction where his voice is coming from.
I didn't even see Edward sitting there in front of the fire. His expression is indifferent as he stares into the flames. He is still wearing the jeans he wore earlier this evening, but the black t-shirt that hugged his body perfectly is nowhere around. My eyes fall to his bare chest as it glows in the firelight. I also catch a glint from the crystal glass filled with an amber liquid dangling from his fingertips.
I stutter, "I...I uh...am sorry, I didn't know you were here. Tia asked me to bring your jacket up."
"You didn't answer the question," he replies firmly, his eyes still unwavering from the flames.
"Oh, well, yes…yes, I did. It was wonderful. Thank you so much for allowing Tia do this for me. For using your home, I mean. It was sweet. I had no idea, and I was really surprised." I laugh nervously.
He continues to look into the fire and smiles softly. His silhouette in the flickering flames is stunning.
His voice is so low I strain to hear him.
"It was my idea, you know."
I stand here, heart thundering in my chest as I stare at the most stunning man to have graced the earth, and his admission leaves my mind reeling.
He thought of this?
"Come here, Bella, please?" My heart is beating so hard it is about to jump out of my chest. Not wanting to upset him, I do as he asks, moving in closer. I can smell his cologne, and I shudder.
His eyes lazily look towards me now, brighter in the light of the fire. I can see something there, could feel it even more so. I swallow hard and feel my face burn up, and as usual, I drop my eyes bashfully down and that is when I notice it.
Something I hadn't seen in weeks and thought was forever lost.
It's sitting on his knee. His fingers caress the smooth brass cover over the now very bent lock.
Panic hits me, and I cannot even speak.
His hand comes out towards me, his fingers take my wrist gently and he starts to brush his thumb back and forth over the new bracelet he had just given me. It was the highlight of my night, but my eyes are on my diary.
"I didn't take it, if that is what you are thinking. You must have dropped it in my car the day I picked you and Tia up at the beach. I would have returned it, but I admit curiosity got the best of me, so I peeked."
I swallow harder this time.
"Isabella, I'm not sure if you are aware that you talk in your sleep. On more than one occasion. I have been lucky enough to listen to you speak without the worry of you running off to hide. Believe me, I know how wrong it is to stand around and watch you sleep, let alone listen to your dreams. I began to look forward to those nights that you and Tia had a sleepover. I took whatever I could get from your nocturnal ramblings, and then it was like this fell out of the sky, and suddenly I could read your mind."
He looks down at my diary.
My eyes close, and I want to die.
"Hey." His voice is so soft that I give in and look down at his thumb barely brushing the back of my hand while I fidget in front of him, utterly ashamed.
"What you must think of me," I whisper.
Knowing that every memory, every secret, and every thought I have ever had about Edward was in that diary kills me. I carefully documented everything so I would never forget what was written in my journal, and he has obviously been reading it.
All of it...
I finally look up at him. A smile brightens his eyes and then slowly disappears, replacing the gleam with a furrowed brow and frown.
"You're worried about what I think of you, when it should be the other way around," he says, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"Bella, when all is said and done, I think you will see this differently. I cannot help it, though. I have no control over the direction my feelings have taken, and by the time I am done saying all I have to say, it may change how you think of me after I make a confession."
He sighs heavily, while his eyes smolder looking up at me. "I noticed two things about your journal. First, that almost every entry in it is about me. And second, you started this when you were fourteen. It looks like you never missed a day and I am flattered beyond words. Bella, what I am about to say…I really hope doesn't frighten you. My feelings toward you started to develop around thirteen. Yes, I know what you must think of me, but you see, you captured my attention, and it hasn't wavered once in all these years. It was the year before my divorce, Bella. And the reason why I had the courage to ask for one."
I stand here frozen, stunned, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. My eyes are wide as I gape at him.
"I know. That is a lot to take in, but please, Bella, hear me out. You are wiser beyond your years. It makes you seem older than you are. You have this way about you that I swear you were my age sometimes," he chuckles lightly. "It is really easy to forget your age. Please believe that."
He stares off wistfully. "I came home from work after a really tough week. You were sitting in the family room alone, and you asked me how my day had gone. I stopped and stared at you, puzzled more than anything. I wondered if you were genuinely interested or just making conversation. I realized it wasn't the latter. You asked because you wanted to know, and the fact that you cared at all was probably the day I realized what I was missing in my life."
He drops my hand now, his long fingers feather through the thick mane of his hair, and he tousles it. I have seen him do this a thousand times before. It is a trademark that I associate only with him.
"I sat down with you and talked to you. I rambled on and on, and you listened. I could see something in your eyes. Something so simple and then later that night upon interacting with Tanya, I knew what was wrong. Tanya never really seemed to care about anything that didn't revolve around her. Not even Tia took priority. My repeated attempts to tell her about my day ended the same way. Tanya blowing me off, leaving the room, or just interrupting me to tell me about her day. Our marriage had been that way for a while, but it took that one day to force me to open my eyes."
His eyes stare into the flames, admitting things I could not wrap my head around.
"The next few months were brutal. My head and my body were fucking with me. I would see you, and I knew I couldn't do a damn thing about the way I felt about you. Bella, if you only knew the turmoil I was in being attracted to you when you were so young! It was wrong. However, that doesn't mean I didn't feel it. I struggled every day. I wanted you in ways that were forbidden. Then one day, I gave into it, realizing nothing was going to change. There was only one answer. I wanted you. It didn't matter what age you were. It was just you. Life has a strange way of playing out. I never would have found you if it hadn't been for Tia. I believe in fate, Bella, so it has to be fate that you are standing here at this very moment, right?"
I stand here, simply stunned by his confession.
He turns to look at me. His eyes looking for an answer, but he must have seen something else.
"Isabella? Am I scaring you?"
"N-No." I stutter.
"You are a terrible liar." He smiles.
A single tear rolls down the apple of my cheek.
"I am scaring you, aren't I?" Concern burns in his expression.
"I…I…just can't believe it…it's just…I never thought…you are so…"
"So?" he asks.
"Perfect," I breathe the word out, surprised I am so open to admit what I kept hidden for so long.
His eyes brighten, a genuine smile graceing his face, making him even more perfect.
"It is not I who is the perfect one, Bella. It is you. It has always been you." His eyes fall to my hand, and he reaches out and takes it again. His fingers trace the shiny links.
"All those years, I believed I was the only one. Discovering your diary was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I had to come up with something to show you memories of you that I held onto. Things that had to do with you. Each charm has a meaning."
I look down as he turns the delicate bracelet around until he comes to the small box charm.
"The miniature replica of the famous Tiffany box. I wanted to so desperately to give one to you on that day as well. I couldn't come up with a reason, not until tonight." He moves on to the next one. "The ice cream cone. Fuck, I love the way you lick an ice cream cone. I was sure you caught me more than once staring. It kills me every fucking time." He gave me a naughty smile and then brushed his thumb over the cupcake.
"This is a symbol of today. The day you turn 18. The day that I finally am allowed to let you know exactly how I feel about you."
He drops my hand, flips open my diary, and turns it to an already marked page.
I stop breathing when his voice reverberates around the room and begins to read aloud my most private thoughts.
I spent the holiday with the Masens since Charlie had to work. I miss spending holidays with my mom sometimes.
We were headed to the beach for the annual picnic and fireworks show. Edward drove us, and of course, my heart was beating so hard as I rode in the car behind him. His arms looked even larger from all the time he spent at the gym. It rested it on the ledge of the window and I watched fine hairs capture the sunlight only adding more beauty to his flawless skin.
I dared to peek up at him in the rearview mirror, and I was startled to see him looking back at me through his dark Raybans. I was positive that I just caught him staring back at he just smile because I caught him? Was I imagining this?
He flips through, another page of my diary answering the questions I was asking myself that day.
"I was looking at you," he says, softly licking the tip of his finger and turning another page. "You were beautiful that day, just as you were every day. Your long, chocolate brown curls tied through red, white, and blue ribbons. I loved the way your hair was pulled up, exposing your neck. The curl in your ponytail left me wanting to wrap it around my hand and give it a little tug. I almost felt like you were intentionally teasing me that day. You were sin, and I wanted to be a sinner."
My breath caught in my throat.
He tilts his head, looking at me from the corner of his eye. "So tell me, Bella. Were you, in fact, teasing me?"
I couldn't mutter a word if I tried. All I could do is stare right at him.
"Never mind, I don't want to, nor do I need to know that."
He flips through pages, searching for something.
When he begins to read my words as they flow from his lips, it doesn't sound remotely close to the way I had read them back to myself after having written them.
In my head, I always felt as though I sounded depressed, writing about wanting the unobtainable, but Edwards voice using my words sounded the polar opposite, telling a story with the weight of feelings behind the words.
The first day of high school.
Fifteen and clueless…sometimes I hate being a teenager.
Tia and I planned to dress up, since we were starting our first day of high school. I was nervous enough as it was wearing a fucking dress. Then my day took a turn when something weird happened.
Well, it was more like Edward happened.
He stood at the door, holding it open when I arrived. What started out as a normal conversation grew stranger when I watched his eyes literally give me the up and down.
"Good morning, Bella, you're up bright and early. Come on in,Tia is almost ready." He stepped back and I nervously brushed past him, noticing the heat radiating off his bare chest.
He shut the door, and without thinking, I turned to look at him. I fought the urge to look down at his sexy as hell chest.
I think I have some sort of thing for that man's chest.
The words just rush out of his mouth, all in one breath.
"My God, you're simply beautiful."
Then he is gone, running up the stairs so fast leaving me standing there speechless. Sometimes Edward's behavior confuses me. The entire exchange was confusing, and it was little things like this that leave me wondering what he is thinking. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part.
Hell, I don't know...Is it so wrong for me to want him... to believe that he sees me the way that I see him?
Then again, I am just a kid.
But he is…Edward.
Always so flawless, so perfect.
His voice devolves back to his own when he stops reading my words, continuing where my question left off.
"There you were, all dressed up for your first day of high school, and I couldn't believe it. I was waiting for you, and as much as I wanted you to grow up, I was blindsided by how innocent and young you really are...were."
He stares into the fire, deep inside of his own memories.
"I hated myself for having thoughts about you. Thoughts that no man my age should've had. I wanted you, God Bella…I wanted you so bad. If you only knew what went through my head while at the same time battling with my heart. Jesus, you were fucking fifteen. Fifteen! My daughter was your age, and I just couldn't stop the feeling of wanting you. It was like I had no control over what I felt, and I didn't. It took me years to accept that I can't help the way I feel."
He turns his head and looks at me, his eyes growing darker, his tone of voice hardening. "And I am far from perfect. Nothing about me, or who I am, is what any normal adult would call perfect."
He looks angry.
Edward's eyes drop down, almost as if in shame. I have this strong need to console him, but his expression softens when our eyes meet again.
With a shift in the air, Edward closes my diary and tosses it onto the chair next to him. Setting the glass down on the side table, he pushes himself up to full height, towering over me. My eyes can't look anywhere else but at his body. His beautiful, broad, well-toned shoulders and those tightly packed pecs that I have spent every day before school mesmerized by as I sat across from him are right here in front of me.
Images begin to flash in my mind of his skin glistening in sweat moving over top of me, his hips thrusting forward driving him deeper into me, kickstart my heart, and I can actually hear a groan tearing from his lips, imagining the sounds he would make to go with the images.
I can't see anything else except this man that now stands before me until his voice breaks the spell.
'Tia and Ben shared their first kiss today. She couldn't wait to tell me.
It is a harsh reminder that I could never tell Tia who it is I really want to kiss. It didn't change the way I felt, because in my mind, no one would compare to Edward.
Edward's lips look so sweet and soft. I hate that I can't stare at them for too long, especially the way his lower lip has this little pout in it. It drives me nuts. A girl can dream can't she?
"Is that still true?" He looks hopeful, while his question hangs in the air with the pout of his lower lip.
Of course it's true. It has always been true.
I seem to of lost my ability to speak. Just staring at Edward's broad chest close enough for me to reach out and touch, and my God, I cannot look away.
I can see my nails raking down the glistening muscles of his chest, slamming into me as I cry out.
"Should I ask for permission to kiss you, or should I just do what I have been waiting to do for over five fucking years?" His expression is fierce, his words more so, and I should probably take a step back.
Is he waiting for an answer? Yes. No. God, yes. Just do it?
"I am so fucking done with waiting, Bella."
There is no hesitation from him when he steps forward. I can feel my entire body vibrate in anticipation of what I know he is coming after. I try to steel myself and prepare for it.
There is nothing hotter than Edward when he is going after something he wants. I have never seen this look, and it is the most beautiful thing to witness.
"If I had known," I admit to him, when suddenly, his eyes narrow into thin slits and he comes to a dead stop on his approach.
"Don't." His tone is sharp, and I can see his anger right there under the surface. "Don't fucking do that to me," he says through clenched teeth.
"I am sorry." I take a step back, shrinking away from him and think of turning and running away now, wondering what I had just said that garnered that reaction out of him.
"Don't you dare tell me that you would have let me have you before tonight, Bella!"
"But…" He silences me instantly when his hand comes up to cover my mouth, his eyes plead along with his words.
"Any other night, but tonight."
As I'm standing there in my confusion, I'm suddenly aware of just how strong he is. In one sweeping motion, he slides an arm under my knees, lifting me as lightly as a feather against his naked chest. The look in his eyes is predatory. He really does plan to devour me.
Then, just as gracefully as he picked me up, he is now placing me in the center of his bed. My head sinks into his down pillows, and now, I am surrounded in Edward's scent. I can't help but close my eyes and inhale deeper.
"I love your scent," I admit and slowly open my eyes to look up at him. He is on his knees above me. His eyes move from my lips and then back to me.
"What?" I ask. He is just hovering, staring down at me looking somewhat lost.
"I don't know if I want to listen to my body and devour you, or to do what my heart says. I have imagined me and you and this in my head a thousand times, if not more, and I cannot remember how I imagined our first kiss. It should be sweet and romantic. It is our first kiss, after all."
It was the sweetest thought, but there is no way in hell I want romance right now. Granted, I did imagine my first kiss to be sweet too, but right now, in the heat of the moment...it is the last goddamn thing I want.
I want Edward in every way. I want him now, and with this new knowledge that he wants it too, I decide to answer the question for him.
"Devour me." I reach up, pushing my fingers through his soft tousled hair, and grip it gently pulling him down to my lips.
"Kiss me the way you need to kiss me."
I let him see the longing I have carried every day of every year that I dreamed of this. He isn't the only one that waited so fucking long.
His eyes brighten the moment the words pass my lips.
I didn't even get the opportunity to take one last breath before his soft lips were all over mine. I could smell the bitter brandy on his breath along with a sweet hint of birthday cake.
The wanting and longing for this to happen between us had gone on for far too long, neither of us having an ounce of control left once our lips had found one another's. Edward devours my lips, my tongue, and explores my mouth as he wants, and I allow him to take everything he needs.
Edward knows exactly what to do and exactly how to do it, and my God, can he do things with his tongue, intertwining with mine. He moans into my lips, finally pulling back. I gaze up at him while both of us suck in air, trying to catch our breath. His chest heaves and his lips lift, giving me that beautiful smirk of his.
I bring my tongue out and lick my lips, taking note that I can no longer smell the cake, but taste it. He drops his forehead, resting it on mine, while the weight of his lower half grows heavier resting against me. I don't know at what point I had opened my legs to allow him to settle between them, but that is where he is now, and I can feel Edward's erection digging into my inner thigh.
That wild kiss plugs me in to him. My body feels alive, as if a current of electricity is pulsing through me.
The back of his hand is now brushing along the side of my ribs, and he brings his hand to my face, rubbing his thumb along my lower lip, just staring at me. My heart is pounding insanely fast in my chest when he whispers, "You are so beautiful."
I swallow back that feeling that I am about to cry.
God, this is everything I could've ever dreamed of. Was I really getting what I wanted?
He moves closer, pressing his lips down along my cheek. He pauses and breathes behind my ear, flicking his tongue out to taste the skin. Is the fireplace growing hotter?
I close my eyes and just feel Edward's tongue gliding along my neck and over my throat, leaving a damp trail in its path. Somewhere along the way, he hits a spot that has me nearly coming up off the bed. My back arches, and an uncontrollable shudder has me grinding my hips up into his.
"Oh, my God!" I cry out, surprised by the sensation. The hair on my body stood up everywhere.
He stops for second, and I feel him chuckle against my skin.
"I need to remember this spot." Then he presses his lips to it, giving it a quick kiss before lifting back up to look back down at me once again.
I can see his hand moving slowly up, bringing his finger to the edge of my dress as he traces the outline of my cleavage.
"I picked this out, you know." he says as his thumb brushed over my velvet-covered nipple. We both watch my body's reaction. His thumb moves back and forth, and it hardens underneath his touch right before our eyes.
"Hmm...responsive...I really like that." Then his lips are all over mine again, and I feel his hand wrap around my breast as he palms it, squeezing me.
A deep moan rumbles from his throat before he continues. "It's soft, like you. This color I chose because I really like that tiny red bikini you wear. It drove me up the fucking wall seeing you in that, but what I loved the most about this dress is the length. Your legs are gorgeous, and it shows so much of your sun-kissed skin." He drives his hips forward, pressing his hardness up against me.
"You feel so good," I gasp. I had no idea how truly desperate my need was to feel this. Any contact with him...it doesn't matter – I will take it!
"Bella, as much as I love you in this dress, I want to see you in absolutely nothing underneath me. I need to just look at you. You really need to be out of it. Will you sit up for a second, please?"
I do as he asks. Wasting no time, he has it unfastened, and I lie back.
He peels the halter down, exposing me, and the hair on my arms raises as I shiver. My skin feels so hypersensitive now that I'm finally naked in front of him. It feels exciting and so intense.
Each movement he makes seems deliberately slow. When his hand wraps around my breast, squeezing it while he uses his fingers to knead it, my nipples tighten up from his touch, and my body feels like it's about to jump out of its own skin. All I can think about is his mouth sucking and pulling and licking me everywhere. Then he pinches my nipple between his fingertips, rolling it back and forth, and all thought is gone while I lay here and just feel him as I close my eyes.
Edward sucking on my nipples is doing the most incredible things to me between my legs. Like the two are now connected. Each sensation travels from my nipple to my clit. I suck in a ragged breath and open my eyes to watch Edward drag his tongue slowly over my swollen, flushed, and puckered nipple as he continues to work on it, wrapping those godforsaken lips around it, sucking and humming as he works it. I start to grow desperate for more. So much more.
I desperately needed his hands to touch me everywhere, because I swear the things he was doing to my nipple had a direct circuit to my clit, awakening every nerve in my body. I feel warm and tingly all over and feel this strong desire to reach down and touch myself. Every little thing that he does with his mouth or hand is creating this building need between my legs, demanding attention, and he still hasn't touched me there yet.
He continues to swirl his tongue around the bud of my hard, wet nipple, his eyes slowly look up watching my reactions.
"Touch me," I plead. "Please." I startle myself, having no idea what is driving me to dare and ask for such a thing. All I can think about is what I want. I want Edward. I want to feel him do what I have written about. That is when an idea comes into my head. It is all I have ever wanted, and he is taking too long.
I slide my hands up, taking a hold of his face in my palms. He looks at me curiously when I stop him to make him focus on me.
"You read all of it...didn't you?" I ask, knowing there is no way he wouldn't have. His body stiffens, and his brow forms a deep exaggerated V in the center of his forehead. He looks like he is battling with the devil.
Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes and his jaw flexes as it clenched tighter and tighter in my hands.
I brush my thumbs along his cheek, waiting. The muscles in his forearms strain to hold him up. He swallows hard as I sit here holding him, waiting for an answer.
Whatever battle he is fighting in his mind must have been decided because he relaxes considerably, dropping his lids closed.
He moves in to whisper into my ear, "Every word," and at the same time, his hand is reaching up under my dress causing a flash burn along my thigh he just touched. I can hear his ragged breathing in my ear and he starts to speak again while his fingers trace along the edge of my panties.
I knew my hand would never bring out of me what I am sure Edward could. I lacked experience and began to explore between my legs. Thinking about Edward while touching myself left me a wet mess. Edward would surely know how to give a girl an orgasm. His fingers and hands are beautiful. His touch would most likely shatter me.
My mouth hangs open, mesmerized that he can remember another passage, word for word, quoting from my diary.
"Is this what you imagined, baby? God, I have been dying to call you baby for so fucking long. I say it in my head all the fucking time." He groans, muttering the last part out now, pressing his nose up next to my ear while sucking deliciously on my earlobe. I feel his hand slip down the front underneath my lace panties, his fingers gliding, slipping with ease along my bare pussy. I am extremely wet, and the sounds of his fingers rubbing along my outer lips, leaves me trembling under his touch. Edward puts pressure up against my clit pushing my lips open, rubbing up one side and down the other.
It is unreal.
I was right. I was sure that he could shatter me completely. I stopped breathing, sucking in all the air I could gather and held it in, just feeling Edward's hands slip down inside the front of my panties, rubbing me.
It was the naughty thoughts I had always had that I never thought could be real.
"My, you do get wet, don't you?" he continues, teasing my ear. Words escape me, and I wiggle under him. My fingers dig into his biceps while I buck my hips forward now, wanting more. Always more.
I feel a tug, then hear tearing and a bite cutting into my hips, leaving a stinging sensation behind. My panties go flying over Edward's shoulder and he kisses me harder, deeper than before. His attempt at distracting me is working when he tore my panties right off me.
"That was what I would have written if I kept a journal," he growls before his lips are all over mine, kissing me hard again.
I wanted to process what had just happened. His lips were everywhere, sliding his tongue into my mouth kissing me harder and deeper.
My mind finally caught up with the actions, and I realize he did, in fact, tear my panties right off my body and he is moving so fast, backing off of me, grabbing the sides of my dress and yanking it down my legs and tossing it aside. I am laying here completely naked, and when he leans forward, I watch him place tender kisses on the red burn marks left on my hip from my panties.
He looks up at me hungrily, pressing kisses down along my inner thigh and is spreading my legs.
His voice changes when he quotes me yet again.
"Standing there in the front room, his hand explores further, slipping into my panties. Sometimes I imagine it when I wear my gym shorts."
"I've never seen these shorts...maybe you will wear them for me someday." His eyes are so dark, and he is so close to the center of me that I can feel the heat of his breath on my pussy.
His nostrils flare and he closes his eyes, inhaling.
"I wonder what it would feel like to have him kiss me down there."
Then he presses his lips right over my clit, kissing it just once. His tongue quickly slips into me while his firm grip on my legs keeps them open for him.
My mind reels as Edward continues his assault on my pussy with his tongue. God, I can't take my eyes off this glorious sight!
"Oh, fuck!" I cry out, bucking my hips forward, grinding up against his tongue, unable to push as hard as I wanted, not finding the leverage with his hold on me. He had me pinned and proceeded to torture me with his tongue, licking and sucking my lips or clit and twirling that tongue of his all around the wet flesh.
The intensity of that need kept growing stronger and stronger. I have felt this before when touching myself, but that is all I ever got – just a stronger need that was always left unfinished. I would wear out before I ever got myself there, giving up, always so afraid to let go completely.
Edward wasn't letting up, though. I whimpered and bucked into his mouth, crying out. It was going to shatter me. All of it. My legs tightened, and his focus on that one spot next to my clit had me crying out, begging for something. My back arches higher and higher, trying to back out from underneath the intensity of his mouth.. His hands reach up, grip my hips, and slide me back down in one hard yank.
He growls, "Where do you think you're going?" against my pussy, and with a few more flicks of his tongue, I scream and everything around me shatters.
"OH Ffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuu uckkkkkkkkkk!"
My body began convulsing and that need felt like it was being flooded with a mix of sensations. My pussy convulsed, my legs were shaking, and I could feel my bottom lip quivering when my body slowly calmed down from my very first orgasm.
I am exhausted, heaving in breaths gasping for air, but when I open my eyes, never knowing when I closed them, I see Edward naked, crawling back over me.
His eyes were filled with a look that should have scared me. He pounced like a cat, his lips crashing into mine, kissing the ever-loving shit out of me, and I can taste myself all over them. His hands gripped my hips, positioning me as he hooked his arm under my leg, pushing it up while settling himself down between my legs.
"I have to have you!" he growled into my mouth. He was almost frantic and fumbling.
He lifts up and slides his hand down, and I watch with him as he grabs his cock and I see it for the first time.
I admit I am a little bit frightened, but his movements don't even give me any time to think about it before he is pressing it between my soaking wet lips. I moan out in response when he pushes in, slow at first, sinking down deeper and deeper until he is right there.
I would love to have Edward steal my virginity hard and fast.
He takes my hand, bringing it above my head. He thrusts forward hard, burying himself into me so deep we both cry out together and I can't move. I can't breathe, and I can't do anything but bite my tongue.
Holy shit, that fucking hurts!
I slowly look up at him. His eyes are closed, his forehead rests against mine, and he is panting heavily. He winces slightly. His chest is heaving over top of me, and sweat runs down in a rivulets along the smooth lines of his chest.
"Just go." I press my lips to his and kiss him, and just like that, he gives in, dropping all of his weight onto me while his other hand slips into mine, now bringing both of them above my head.
His hips lift, and he just looks down at me that slight hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "Show me what you would have written," I whisper, looking up at him, now feeling the tears leak from the corners of my eyes.
"You feel so good I want to cry. Bella, baby, I need to fuck you." He pulls back and drives into me, crying out as he does.
"So motherfucking good!" his look is feral as he growls between his words. "God, you're tight, and God, it feels like fucking heaven, baby. Pure heaven."
"Yes!" I cry out, encouraging him. I won't let him see my pain. I won't ruin this for him. Each thrust burns, but watching Edward get lost while he burrows his way deeper inside of me is the most erotic thing I can imagine.
He is taking what he has wanted, just as I am giving what I have always wanted.
All of me.
His rhythm gets faster, sweat pouring off him, dripping down his brow and leaving the edges of his hair in little wet ringlets. We don't ever look away from each other with each thrust he delivers, and God, does he deliver. I inch up the bed and focus on his muscles driving him where he wants to be, each thrust bringing him that much closer, and I encourage him, pushing forward. He squeezes my hands still above my head and drives himself in so deep that I cry out on that last hard thrust unable to hold it back.
Then I feel a warm squirting sensation at the same time that Edward's entire body stiffens over me. His muscles are so tightly wound he looks like a fucking Adonis etched out of stone perfectly carved and angelic. His abs pulse, his hands are tightening even harder in mine, then his lower half shudders violently as he pulses and comes hard, buried deep inside of me.
I finally got a taste of what I had been yearning for...but I knew...this was merely a sample...