|I Had A Love
Author: corr2win90 PM
A "sequel" story to "Falling for the Leader" my Anybodys story , Anita now has to face two deaths- her lover Bernardo's, and also the fresh death of her best friend Maria's lover, Tony. But will guilt and grief lead her to something that wouldn't just harm her, but her friends? Warning, does contain implications and speculations of self-harm, and because of this, is rated T.Rated: Fiction T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12-08-12 - Published: 09-04-12 - id: 8496394
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This story takes place when Tony dies in "Falling for the Leader", and it's in Anita's point of view. This is kind of like a "sequel" to the Anybodys story, so please try to read that one first :D Note: I do not own West Side Story, or any of the songs from the musical. Enjoy! And a special thanks to smilingsanitizer for giving me the idea for this story :D
Chapter 1: Love is Crushed
I was too stunned to speak when I saw Maria crying over Tony's dead body. I was stunned at his death, at Maria's grief, and furthermore, how similar it was to before…
As Bernardo stabbed Riff, I yelled out in joy. Finally, our clan is avenged. I saw Bernardo smile mischievously, reveling in his kill. However, then, something worse happened.
That wimp Tony, the one dating my best friend Maria, comes between Bernardo and the dead Jet, taking out a knife. Right then, Tony stabs Bernardo, killing him instantly. I can feel the knife go through my very heart, my very soul…
I scream out, and feel myself start to die inside. Bernardo's dead, Bernardo's dead…I reach out, wanting to die with him, just stay with him, but Consuela and Teresita pull me back, taking me away from him.
I struggle against them, just wanting to die as Tony just lies there, staring at the dead bodies of Riff and Bernardo. I want to kill him, kill all of them, for holding grudges, for being immature and stupid, but my grief has me paralyzed.
*END OF FLAHSBACK*
And now, as I stare at Maria, I realize that this death, the death of her love, is my own fault. For I was the one who told the Jets that she was dead, killed by Chino. I was the one who instigated this.
I want to go up to Maria, comfort her like I did before, be with her like I was before, but grief had changed me. My heart was steeled, and it was more grief-filled than ever. So as Diesel, Action, Pepe, and Chino carried Tony's body away, I just followed them, leaving Maria to her own devices.
However, I was never alone.
"Anita!" I heard a voice behind me, shouting at me, running towards me.
"What, Consuela?" I say to my longtime friend, tears fighting to leave my eyes.
"Aren't you going to help Maria?" she asks me.
I look away from her, hiding my sadness and guilt. "No. She's fine."
Consuela gasps and takes me by the shoulder, turning me around to face her. "Her love just was murdered! How could you be so cold-hearted?"
"MY LOVE WAS MURDERED TOO, CONSUELA!" I yell at her, making her flinch and back off a little. "I KNOW how she feels! She can take care of herself!"
Consuela just frowns at me and shakes her head, and runs off, probably to find Teresita or Rosalia. I sigh, knowing that she probably thinks I've gone mad, lost my sanity.
Well, good. Maybe I'll die quicker.
I keep walking, by myself, back to Shark territory. I walk up the stairs, back to my-and formerly Bernardo's-room. I lock the door behind me, and collapse on the bed, stuffing my face in the pillows.
"Oh, Bernardo," I sob, "why'd you have to go? Why'd you have to be so stupid, always picking fights? Why?"
I keep crying into the pillow, and remember a song. A song that Maria sang only days ago, explaining her love to Tony.
Love is crushed. It's not real anymore.
I sigh to myself, and sing it my way for once.
I had a love, and it's all that I had
Right or wrong, what else could I do?
I loved him, I'm his
And everything he was
I was, too
I had a love, but now, he is gone
Right or wrong, I'm only left alone
I loved him, we were one
There was nothing to be done
Not a thing I could do
But hold him, hold him forever
Be with him now, tomorrow,
All my life
I look in the mirror, seeing my hollow face, dark eyes, and tattered hair in the reflection. This isn't Bernardo's girl, this is the shell of that girl.
When love comes so strong
There is no right or wrong
Your love is your life.
And my life was over. I wanted it to just be over. I walked over to my window, seeing the drop. If I just jumped…
And then I heard a knock on the door.