My little brother wanted me to write a Kirby Fanfic. So I did.

Chapter 1: Fumu reads a book

Fumu was in her room, reading a long and boring book about political science. It was one of those old types of books written a long time ago that went on and on using big smart-sounding phrases that one could barely understand. For example, the passage she was reading right now, that went on for nearly half the page using one seemingly never-ending sentence went like this:

Wherever law ends, tyranny begins; if the law be transgressed to another's harm; and whosoever in authority exceeds the power given him by the law, and makes use of the force he has under his command to compass that upon the subject which the law allows not, ceases in that to be a magistrate, and acting without authority may be opposed, as any other man who by force invades the right of another.

If you managed to read that entire sentence, then you know what Fumu was dealing with here. A normal kid might have given up, but not Fumu. Even though it was hard, she wanted to read and learn everything she could!

But the universe had other ideas. Suddenly, a loud noise interrupted her.

Bang Crash Boom! went the noise, and Fumu looked up in annoyance. She was having a hard enough time reading this book even without troublesome interruptions! She looked around to see where the sound was coming from, but there was nothing in sight. Once the sound stopped she decided to put it out of her mind and continue reading.

Tyranny is the exercise of power beyond right, which nobody can have a right to; and this is making use of the power any one has in his hands, not for the good of those who are under it, but for his own private, separate advantage.

Fumu thought the book was just getting interesting when Bang Crash Boom! Fumu lost her place. She started the sentence again, but before she had finished, Bang Crash Boom! came that noise again. Although she tried to concentrate, it was no use. After she found herself re-reading the same passage for the fifth time, she decided enough was enough.

She had to find the noise and stop whoever was doing it!

First she looked around her house, but it was silent and empty. The mysterious sound was not coming from here.

Then she checked the halls of the castle. It too was empty save for a few Waddle-Dees who were meandering around. The sound was not coming from here.

And the sound was not coming from the wide green lawn in front of the castle.

So where could it be?

Fumu hurried across the draw-bridge and entered Dream land Village.

Bang Crash Boom! Sure enough, Fumu had found the source of the mysterious noise.

It was King Dedede and Escargon! She should have known those two troublemakers were up to no good!

King Dedede was running after poor Kirby and trying to hit him with his hammer. Kirby, who obviously did not want to be hit, was running around the square while ducking and dodging. Round and round they went like a merry-go-round. Down went the hammer; up went Kirby, desperately trying to get away. He jumped into the air where a small tree stood. Dedede's hammer whizzed through the air.

Bang Crash Boom! The tree was gone!

Luckily, Kirby jumped into the air just in time. But the poor little pink ball continued to be chased all over the village. Up and down, up and down he ran. He bravely tried to duck Dedede's swipes, but it was too much for the little kid. He got so exhausted that he had to stop in front of the mayor's house for a rest. But Dedede was still full of energy! The big penguin ran up to Kirby brandishing his hammer menacingly.

"Poyo!" yelled Kirby, which, translated into English would have been something roughly like, "Oh no!" Frantically, he hid behind the mayor's car.

Bang Crash Boom! The car was smashed!

"OH NOOOOO!" cried a voice. The Mayor was staring at his ruined automobile in horror.

"Not my car!" he squeaked. But Dedede ignored the distraught Cappy and ran after the little pink ball that had escaped into the sky.

"Come back you stupid little puffball!" he shouted, "I won't let you get away this time!"

"Yeah! You won't get away this time!" called Escargon from the sidelines.

Kirby looked behind him to see Dedede gaining on him fast! But while he was looking behind him, he didn't see the root that was in his path until it was too late. Kirby tripped and sprawled out on the ground. "poyo…" he groaned as he struggled to stand up.

"Haha, now I've got you!" yelled Dedede as he advanced.

With a mighty heave, Dedede threw down his hammer with all his strength. The hammer whizzed through the air, straight towards Kirby!

Oh no! Fumu knew she had to act fast. "Kabu!" she cried, "Send the Warp Star!"

Far away, Kabu opened his mouth and the glowing yellow star whizzed out.

"WARP-U STAAAAR!" he intoned.

Just in time the Warp Star zipped underneath Kirby and bore him away into the sky. The hammer missed and ran straight into chef Kawasaki's restaurant. Kirby was safe! But the restaurant wasn't.

"Oh nooo!" groaned Kawasaki. The front door had been completely ruined! "What am I going to do?"

The restaurant smashing culprit ignored him and instead watched Kirby warily as the little pink ball rocketed through the sky. On his warp star Kirby was safe from him for now.

Fumu decided to intervene before they caused any more trouble.

"Dedede! What is going on!" she shouted, putting her hands on her hips. The king turned around guiltily.

"Oh! Fumu!" he exclaimed, "Um, nothing! We weren't doing anything!"

Fumu's little brother Bun peeked out from the bush he had been hiding in. He rushed towards them.

"That's not true!" he shouted angrily, "Dedede challenged Kirby to an eating contest. Kirby was winning so he started chasing him with his hammer!"

Some of the younger Cappies, who had quickly appeared as soon as the battle was over, agreed with Bun.

"Dedede!" exclaimed Fumu, "You shouldn't attack someone just because they are winning! You should be ashamed of yourself."

But the King did not look ashamed. He looked annoyed. "That's not how it went at all!" he said,
"Kirby was cheating! He broke the law so he needed to be punished, right Escargon?"

"Right!" agreed the king's snaily companion. He pointed an accusing hand at the little pink blob. Kirby looked back innocently. "Kirby is a big fat cheater!" he accused, "He inhaled all the food even though we said that was against the rules!"

"You're lying!" said Bun angrily. "You never said that was against the rules!"

"We did too!"

Fumu looked back and forth. Both of the sides were saying different things. King Dedede insisted that Kirby had cheated but Bun and the other Cappies said he had not.

This was a problem. They couldn't both be right, could they? Fumu thought very hard, trying to figure out a solution.

She thought and thought, then finally rose her hand for silence. She had an idea!

"If neither of you can agree," Fumu said reasonably, "Then we'll have to present the evidence to someone uninvolved in the incident to judge it."

This was the proper way to deal with disputes like this, because this way both sides could explain their position and present the evidence for their side. The judge would look it over and deal impartially, which meant that they didn't care who won, only that the truth was found out.

It was a very good suggestion but King Dedede was not impressed.

"No way!" he said angrily, "I'm the King and so whatever I say is true. I can do what I want, and I don't want to go to court."

Escargon agreed. "Yeah, his majesty is the best! Whatever he says is the law."

But Fumu knew this wasn't true.

"You're wrong Dedede!" she shouted, "All reasonable beasts are born free and beholden to no one! We don't have to listen to you!"

She tried to explain how government was a mutual consent by all those capable of reason to live together in a group for the common protection of individual life and property and that no one among that group was exempt from the law. She had just finished reading about this in her book so she knew a lot about it.

Everybody began to yawn as she spoke. Kirby even got so sleepy that he fell off his warp star!

Finally, when she kept on talking with no signs of stopping, Bun interrupted and groaned, "Fumu, what are you even talking about!?"

Fumu looked around at the pile of sleeping Cappies in surprise. Why were they sleeping? Was it something she had said? But it was such an interesting topic!

"I'm talking about the proper form of government!" Fumu explained with passion, "Dedede always thinks that he can do what he wants because he's the king, but that's not true! Even kings have to follow laws!"

King Dedede laughed uproariously. "Bwahaha! No way! You can't make me!"

Fumu was about to say that they could, but she looked at the big hammer he still held in his head and knew that a little girl like her could never stop this big bully. She wished that the policeman or Meta Knight was here and could do something to stop King Dedede. But no one made any move to punish him, and so Dedede just looked at them smugly.

Finally Escargon stuck his nose up in the air. "Hmph, the nerve of these people, thinking that his great majesty Dedede would have to follow laws! Let's go your Majesty." sniffed Escargon. He turned away in a huff and started to slink back to the castle.

But Dedede stayed where he was. He crossed his arms grumpily. "Hey, Escargon, I'm the one who does the orders around here!" he snapped.

"Aah, ah I'm sorry your majesty…" stammered Escargon, "I didn't mean to imply… I mean…"

Dedede just cuffed the stuttering snail in the head and told him to shut up.

Then he turned and headed towards his castle. "Now let's go," he ordered, which is exactly what Escargon had just said a few minutes ago.

Before anyone could stop him, Dedede disappeared into the distance followed by the indignant protests of his gastropod companion.

Fumu watched him go helplessly. She knew that it was wrong for him to try and hit Kirby, and that when you do something wrong you need to pay for what you did. But even though Dedede was always doing mean things, he never did anything about them. He just did more and more bad things without really accepting the consequences of his action. And most frustratingly, nobody cared because either King Dedede somehow found a way to twist the argument in his favour or because everyone was simply too scared to go against him. This was too much! It was driving Fumu crazy!

But this time, she decided, he had gone too far. He had destroyed lots of people's property and could have seriously hurt Kirby! He couldn't get away with these things just because he was the king. Why, he wasn't even really a king! A king cared about their people and looked after them. King Dedede did not. He was just a tyrant! And a tyrant didn't deserve to rule at all.

So Fumu made a vow on that day, underneath the bright Dreamland sun, standing amongst the green waving grass, that she would not rest until she broke the shackles of Dedede's tyranny. She would not rest until a new day would dawn over the glorious land of Dreamland, a day when they could at long last live in freedom! A day when they could be free from a king who did not care for them or obey the law, free to carry about their business without worrying about the blatant destruction of their property, and free to live a life of as they wished to as reasonable beings. Oh glorious freedom!

And with due time she accomplished all that she had said on this day, as will be recounted in the rest of this most amazing history of Dreamland. ;)