|Big Brother: Crossover Edition
Author: Patworx PM
12 houseguests engage in the ultimate power struggle for a half million dollars.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,783 - Updated: 01-15-13 - Published: 09-22-12 - id: 8547468
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A young man with brown curly hair and glasses stood outside the Big Brother house. He looked at the audience and smiled.
"Hi," he said. "I am Patworx, and Welcome to the first season of Big Brother: Crossover Edition! You see this house behind me? Well, I have invited 12 characters from all across the realm of fiction to live in this house for the next three months and compete for a half-million dollar prize. But who are these characters? Let's find out!"
He then directed the audience toward a TV screen which displayed the image of a smug-looking brown-haired man wearing a suit and tie.
"Alan Shore is one of the most intelligent, and manipulative lawyers of all time. He has taken some of the most seemingly ridiculous cases ever to see a courtroom, and he has won nearly all of them. He also is a womanizer, so you can bet he'll be looking for a showmance."
The screen then showed a heavyset middle-aged woman with red hair.
BERTA/TWO AND A HALF MEN
"Berta is the housekeeper for Charlie Harper, and later Walden Schmidt. She has somewhat of a white trash background. Despite having such a demanding job, she usually doesn't like to work and spends much of her time just sitting around making wisecracks."
The next houseguest was a chubby little boy wearing a red coat and a light blue tossle cap.
"Eric Cartman is an 8 year old boy who lives in South Park, Colorado. On first impressions, this kid appears to be nothing more than an immature brat. First impressions can be misleading, however; hiding behind that façade of juvenile obnoxiousness is a deceitful sociopath who will do anything to get what he wants."
This was followed by a man with dark, spiky hair wearing an orange shirt with a blue shirt visible underneath.
GOKU/DRAGON BALL Z
"Son Goku is a universe-class martial artist who has battled and defeated some of the most powerful villains of all time. He is a member of a race called the Saiyans and was sent to destroy Earth as a baby but forgot his original purpose due to a head injury and became Earth's greatest protector. He's also pure of heart; will that hinder his game in the Big Brother house?"
After that came a man wearing a tuxedo. He also had a mustache, glasses, and in his mouth was a cigar.
"Captain Jeffrey T. Spalding. Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff. President Rufus T. Firefly. Whatever you want to call him, Groucho Marx is a legend in the world of comedy with his quick wit and his signature appearance. He should be a very memorable presence on the show."
At the heels of Groucho was a tan-skinned teenaged girl. She wore a blue robe and her brown hair curved into loops on both sides of her head.
KATARA/AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
"Katara is a girl who was born in the Southern Water Tribe. She learned how to bend water at an early age. One day, she was fishing with her brother and they discovered a boy frozen in an iceberg. This boy turned out to be the Avatar; a being who controlled all of the elements and was the only one who could restore balance to the world. She helped him save the world and later went on to date him. She's a nice girl, but don't get on her bad side."
Up next was a red bird with a crest.
"Kazooie is a red breegull who lives in Spiral Mountain with her best friend, a bear named Banjo. Together, the two of them have defeated Gruntilda the evil witch on numerous occasions. She is very sarcastic and also very sneaky. Just ask Mumbo Jumbo during a card game."
Kazooie was immediately followed by a mustachioed man with brown hair, overalls, a red shirt, and a matching red hat with an 'M' on it.
"Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past 30 years will recognize this guy. Mario is a gaming legend and an epic hero who has starred in some of the greatest games of all time. And now, he is taking a break from rescuing Princess Peach to compete for a half-million dollars. How will he fair in this group?"
The next contestant was a shy teenage girl with brown hair and glasses.
MEG/A WRINKLE IN TIME
"Meg Murray is the daughter of two well-respected scientists. Her father went missing when she was a little girl and she had to travel to a distant planet to help save him. She is very intelligent, but she has something of an inferiority complex, not realizing her own self-worth half the time."
Next was an attractive, red haired, middle-aged woman with a no-nonsense expression.
REGINA/THE LITTLE FOXES
"Regina Giddens is a southern aristocrat from the 1940's. Her husband and two brothers are all wealthy businessmen and Regina has to rely on her husband for financial support since her dad only gave her brothers inheritance. Luckily, she can usually manipulate her husband to do her bidding. She is ruthless, conniving, and at times downright evil. She will do anything and everything to win this game."
Another woman replaced Regina, this one being a friendly-looking blonde in her 20's.
TAKANO/HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI
"Miyo Takano is a nurse who resides in the town of Hinamizawa. She seems harmless at first glance, but she is the mastermind who unleashed a mind-altering disease upon all of Hinamizawa an entrapping them all in a seemingly infinite time loop. With that in mind, it is clear that she will not be easy to take down."
The last picture was of a male teenager with a demented expression and brown hair (though several chunks have it have been pulled out).
"Vern Blackadder is a boy from South Africa who attends an all-boys boarding school. He has an extremely deranged personality, to the point where he was once nicknamed 'Rain Man'. He rarely talks and has a bizzare obsession with cats."
With all the houseguests announced, Patrick turned the camera on himself.
"So those are the 12 men and women you will be watching over the next three months," he said excitedly. "What will happen when all of these characters are locked in a house together? Tune in regularly to find out!"