|The Way of the Platypus
Author: waffleman1314 PM
He was the greatest warrior in all of China. Regent Monogram had even wished for him to save the princess from Doofus Khan. But what made Master Perry give up the life of a warrior to live atop The Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness? Perry recounts his story starting with his arrival in the Tri-Province Area. Rated T for mild violence.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz - Chapters: 23 - Words: 33,043 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 03-25-13 - Published: 09-22-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8547829
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Phineas and Ferb
AJ back with your update. This is kind of a filler chapter- the next one will have more interest to it.
Carl led us into the arena by a small, and by small I literally mean 'big enough for Carl to barely fit through small,' door on the far side of the enormous building. When we got inside, we were even more appalled at the sight. Grass that was greener than seemed possible blanketed the floor in a nice, evenly cut fashion. A circular path of dirt surrounded the grass. Doors lined the walls of the arena, possibly holding training equipment, food, and if Felix was lucky- a bathroom. (He claimed to have a really small bladder.) We dropped our backpacks on the ground and lined up in character order, sadly enough, in Mandarin again. Ricky just told me to stand to the left of Felix and that Harry would be on my right.
"Now, I will take this training extremely seriously," Carl said, walking around in front of us with his hands behind his back. "Regent Monogram would prefer to keep all of you, but the minimum is two. As you train, I will be deciding who among you is fit to be the leader of this group."
"So, like a sensei?" Peter asked.
"No! We aren't in Japan!" Carl slapped his forehead. "They have samurai and ninja and stuff- we have warriors and the Mongols! Please, get your facts straight. I swear…the Middle Kingdom is in need of stricter Confucian standards."
We all looked at each other and shrugged. The only practicing Confucian among us was Ricky. Harry and Peter were Buddhists, and Felix was a strong Taoist. Ricky seemed pretty pleased that Carl was enforcing a Confucian state of mind. I didn't care, so as long as he didn't tell me I had to be Taoist.
"Sorry…" Peter said dejectedly.
"Now," Carl sighed. "A normal day will go as thus- running a mile then a rotation; coming to me for weapons training, Sergei will teach you the secrets of the mind that he learned from little green men on a swamp planet, endurance training with the regent's son, Monty, kung fu training with Master Silent G, and finally a Confucian scholarly class with Master Terry. The rotation will go in that order, starting every day with Felix at weapons, Perry at endurance, Harry at mind, Peter at kung fu, and Ricky at scholarly. Understood?"
"Yes, General Carl!" we said simultaneously.
"You will each spend two hours in that particular rotation," Carl explained. "The first rotation begins at the sixth hour. By then you should have completed a set of ten li around the circular path, all at a running pace. (A/N: one li is approximately 415 meters, ten li is about four kilometers, which is just around three and a half miles.) We will return home around the tenth hour. Today, we will cut the last rotation short in order to return to quarters by the tenth hour. You may begin."
We all hurried to the line that marked the beginning point of the li-long oval path. Ricky, who'd deemed himself the loudest, counted us off from five and we all took off. Ten laps seemed easy enough- our rice fields were about thirty li long and fifteen li wide, and I ran those all of the time out of boredom. I pumped my arms and my legs, trying to keep a good, steady pace to finish the ten li by the sixth hour. Carl didn't deem it possible; I was going to prove him wrong.
Everyone else was astounded by my speed. Even the athletic Peter seemed shocked that I could run faster than him. Felix was fast as well; he had the natural body of an athlete, but he couldn't quite keep up with me. It took me a matter of minutes before I'd lapped both Ricky and Harry. When I eventually stopped running, Carl had left, but no one else was done. I supposed it was time for me to figure out where Monty was. He was in one of the rooms along the sides of the arena, and the room itself was empty.
"Are you Regent Monogram's son?" I asked, making sure that I'd found the right person.
"Yes, yes I am," he nodded. He was a young boy of about thirteen or so, most likely younger than all of us. "You must be the first of the five warriors that I will be working with on the art of endurance. What is your name?"
"Perry," I said.
"Well, then, Perry, let us begin, shall we?" Monty smiled at me.
For the next two hours, I ran and lifted heavy things (such as two buckets of water on a pole) until I could no longer perform what he'd asked me to do. He told me that my endurance was outstanding. I let him know that I was an 'active teenager.'
Next, I went to kung fu training for two hours. Master Silent G was also astounded by my performance. He told me that he'd never even seen warrior's sons exert such well-timed and beautiful moves. I simply shrugged. Telling him how I, a peasant, knew kung fu was not on my list of 'top twenty things to do before I die.' Nor was it on my bucket list.
Following kung fu was Confucian scholarly with Master Terry. He was a little frustrated that I couldn't read or write, much less speak Mandarin, but he told me that he'd start from the beginning and teach me the Mandarin language before we were to start on any education of the Confucian belief.
After a struggling lesson of Mandarin, I looped back around to Carl, who simply educated me on types of weapons and what they should be used for. When he brought out a pair of nuchucks, I asked if that's what upperclassmen used to beat their disobedient children with. Carl gave me a shocked look and exclaimed that no one should be using weapons of such design to whip their kids. I simply shrugged and told him it was just a question.
The final lesson of the day was a lesson of the mind with Master Sergei. He gave me a long, drawn-out lecture on the importance of using the mind in combat. I asked him how we as humans could learn tricks from little green men on swamp planets, but he just told me to hush and meditate for a while. Meditating proved hard, as you have to clear your thoughts, and mine kept wandering back to noodles and fancy pudding.
We all regrouped at the tenth hour and began the tiring journey back home. Felix was the only one who was super-excited after a long day of work. His excitement was creepy to me; he acted very similarly to my sisters when they found a cute boy that liked them. I shuddered and tried not to compare Felix to my sisters. Our entire group made it back to the warriors' quarters at around the twelfth hour.
"I am so tired," I said, tossing my backpack down with the others.
"Yeah," Felix shrugged, still bouncing on his feet. "So, we're allowed to go chill tonight downtown, wanna come?"
"What on Earth can you do in the middle of the night?" I asked, rubbing my eyes a little.
"Oh, there's all sorts of stuff!" Peter chimed in. "Food, dancing, parties, food, girls, games, food, festivities…did I fail to mention food?"
"Nope, you've said it three times now," Felix rolled his eyes.
"Anyways, you totally should," Peter grinned.
"I don't know," I scratched the back of my head nervously. "Is it okay with Regent Monogram and General Carl?"
"Trust me," Felix waved his hand. "They don't give a crap."
"If you insist," I said, following behind Felix slowly.
"Yay!" he smiled big. "We're going to have so much fun!"
I started to wonder what he meant by fun.