|The GiftBella POV
Author: mamasutra PM
For it is in giving that we receive and Bella gave the ultimate gift...herself. This fic will be random outtakes from the fanfic The Gift all told from Bella's point of view.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Bella - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,000 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 10-05-12 - Published: 09-29-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8567138
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
"Want some pizza?" Angela called out to me as I walked into our cramped apartment. It was late and I was hungry, so I quickly joined her.
"You look better," Ang said as I walked out to join her with an eye roll in her direction.
"Thanks, Mom," I said with a snicker, but she was right. I had been walking around looking as sick on the outside as I felt on the inside since finding Edward with Tanya in her office. It was stupid, but I couldn't help it. He went back to her and I knew he would. I knew it before I ever approached him, yet I took my chances and lost. It was a hard loss, but as I tried to remind myself, he had been worth the risk.
"You know, he's an asshole," Ang said with a smirk, knowing that her comments would get to me like they always did.
"No, he's not," I said, weakly defending him.
"He's married to her. I mean, he's right… what did I expect?" I asked the rhetorical question that I had been asked countless times by him as well as myself.
"You expected him to see the error of his ways," Angela teased with a sad laugh, since she knew me too well.
"You expected him to realize that he wanted you, not super freak," Angela said making me laugh out loud at her pet name for Tanya. She hated her almost as much as I did, but for different reasons. Dr. Denali was critical with Angela as well as myself, calling us both prudes because we didn't agree with her idea that multiple sexual partners led to spiritual enlightenment. She had made her claim that humans were not monogamous creatures by nature, and would lose her fucking mind if you disagreed with her. That's what Ang and I did, though - we disagreed. We discussed different theories and, in the end, we were mocked for not agreeing with her. The only difference now was that, after my night with Edward, she had stopped calling me sexually repressed. She now just referred to me as 'girl'. It was degrading, her way of putting me in my place after that night.
"Well, he loves super freak so I guess it doesn't matter," I said, as she shook her head in response.
"I guess we will have to list Mr. Cullen's taste in women as a fatal character flaw," she said with a laugh, as I grabbed my pizza and bottle of beer before sitting down across from her. We hadn't eaten dinner together since before my night as Edward's gift, and it was nice to be normal again. The only conversation between us was how hot Ben Cheney looked with his new glasses instead of anything pertaining to the mistake I had made.
It was after we were laughing for a while that Angela talked me into going out with Riley Biers, who had been asking me out for months. He was cute and single. He was safe and nice. He was everything that Edward could have been if he wasn't married. He was perfect and I was a fool to not go out with him because I had some sick crush on a married man who wanted nothing to do with me now - yet, I found it hard to agree no matter how much I should go, since it just felt wrong.
"I know you, B. I know you so well, and this waiting for a man who is clearly remaining married to super freak is not healthy. It's time to let go and move on, you know what I mean?' she asked me in a caring tone that warmed my heart and pissed me off all at once.
"Yeah, OK," I said, begrudgingly agreeing with her as she smiled and clapped loudly in response.
"I'll call Riley tonight," I said in a defeated tone, as she shook her head at me.
"Bella, it would be different if…" she started to say, but I stopped her.
"It would be different if he wasn't married or in love with her. Yes, I know this, Ang," I said with a tired sigh, as I looked away from her. It all would be different, but it wasn't. He loved her and while I knew this before I ever agreed to Tanya's offer, it still somehow hurt when I had heard him whispering that he loved her while they'd made love. I should not have been surprised by it since I had always known that. Edward was the type of man a girl wanted since he would greet her with flowers and a kiss. He was loving and protective. He was kind and devoted. He was a good man and I knew I was just a temporary thing in his life.
"It's just that…" I started to say, causing Angela to give me her death glare. She was tired of hearing it. "Yeah, I'll stop,' I finished, as she looked at me.
"It's done and over with. He's done and gone so let it go," Angela said firmly. I nodded in agreement since she was right. He was done. Edward had told me so time after time, and no amount of apologies would change that.