Author: ladybugsmomma PM
Jessica blames herself for Debra Cole's suicide. The Bureau Chief knows exactly how she feels and goes to comfort her. This is my take on Alex sharing her story about Sam Cavanaugh with Jessica.Rated: Fiction K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Words: 538 - Published: 10-06-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8587384
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: Well, this is a short one-shot based off Conviction and the episode of SVU called "Guilt." I thought that Alex had a little more to say to Jessica rather than what she actually did say. Hope you like it!
Jessica Rossi sat at her desk and thought about the meeting she had earlier with Debra Cole. That meeting took place shortly before she committed suicide by jumping in front of a subway train. She sighed as she couldn't help but feel responsible for what happened. She heard a knock at the door to find her boss, Bureau Chief Alexandra Cabot, standing there. She turned to look at her.
"I never meant to mess up your case," Alex said, "You know that right?"
Jessica nods her head in reply as she looks away and tears filled her eyes. At that moment, Alex thought back to the case involving Sam Cavanaugh. She knew then what Jessica was feeling. She crossed the room and sat down in a chair adjacent to Jessica. Alex put her hand on Jessica's and she looked into Alex's eyes.
"I know you think that what happened to Debra Cole is your fault, but it isn't. You can't blame yourself," Alex said.
"I'm not," Jessica whispered, "I'm blaming you."
Alex looked at Jessica and took her hand off hers. Alex looked away, lost in thought. She turned back and Jessica could see the understanding, but also some of the remorse that lay there.
"A few years ago, I had a case back when I worked for Special Victims. A teenager had been raped by a friend. We set up an operation where he wore a wire and tried to get the man to confess to the crime, but instead he tipped him off. He came to us and said he wasn't going to do this anymore. He couldn't testify against him," Alex took a breath, "I pushed him and pushed him and later that's when I found out that he tried to commit suicide. He had taken a bottle of pills and collapsed. His mother found him, but it was too late to save him from brain damage. He's now a vegetable all because I pushed him to the brink. Blame me all you want, but I do know what it feels like to feel the way you do. I still blame myself even though I know that it wasn't me who started what happened."
Jessica looked that the Bureau Chief in shock as she had never spoken to the woman this longer. She contemplated what Alex said and as Alex stood, Jessica took her hand.
"You're right. It isn't anyone's fault but the man that raped Debra Cole," Jessica said, "I understand that now and thank you."
Alex smiled and squeezed her hand before walking out the door. Jessica sat back into her chair and stared at the screen before her and wondered what to do now. How was she supposed to move on? She sighed and got back to work hoping that it would help with the guilt she felt.