|A Point To Be Made
Author: Jayne Leigh PM
Set during "Something Borrowed, Something Blew Up" s4 finale. AU version of if things had gone differently. After Marshall chose to save Mary during the shooting, he wonder whether Abigail truly understood like she said she did and he starts to remembers the last time he was asked to make a difficult choice.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Angst - Marshall M. & Mary S. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,997 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 01-01-13 - Published: 10-08-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8593024
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey, thank you to everyone has reviewed. They make my day and I'm so glad that there are people still reading In Plain Sight fics.
A Point to be Made
Mary hands wrung together as her body grew tenser and she found it difficult to just simply breathe as time ticked on. Seconds seemed like hours as Marshall stared at her in silence.
"It's not the drugs making you hallucinate…" Mary couldn't stand it any longer. "I did just say that…"
"You said…" Marshall started but trailed off, his eyes widening when he thought about what he just heard.
"I know...I pick my moments." She tried to smirk but it failed and sighed. "I've just been thinking…and you needed to know."
"That…that you love me?" Marshall swallowed. "What does that even mean?"
"What do you mean what does that even mean?" She repeated. "Marshall, I love you."
"You love me?" He repeated, a little skeptical. "Mary, you know you're my best friend…You know I love you…"
"No, Marshall…I'm in love with you." She cut him off. "As in….I love you."
"You keep saying that but…." He shook his head a little. "This is not happening…This is crazy…This is…"
She crouched down the best she could so she was at his eye level, wincing a little in discomfort but she ignored it and took a hold of both his hands.
"Marshall…" She squeezed his hands. "Yes, this is crazy…I know, it is…I know that you care about Abigail and that this probably not the best time but in a way it is…"
"You're scared." Marshall claimed. "With the baby coming and you're having doubts about the adoption…Then there was the shooting…"
"You don't believe that." She stated. "You know what I'm saying…You know what I mean…You know me."
"You know I was having doubts about the adoption and I haven't breathed a word about that to anyone."
"You're right, I do know you and I do know that you were having doubts about giving the baby away because there is no one in this world that you would completely trust 100 per cent to raise your child…"
"I'd trust you." She said simply, almost surprising herself at how easy it was to admit it.
"Mary…." He groaned. "What are you doing?"
He tried to pull away from her but she only let go of one of his hands. He ran it through his hair, roughly and before looking at her again.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this but you need to know, Marshall."
"But I don't understand what you're telling me…" He claimed. "I don't know what you mean or what you want."
"I want…I don't know…" She paused for a second to think. "I know I don't want to lose you…that I want you in my life…."
"As what?" He asked. "If this is because Abigail and I are…"
"It's not." She cut in. "I mean, it is but if Abigail truly makes you happy, then I want that for you."
"Mare, you're my best friend…I would do anything for you…I would never just abandon you. You know that right?" He questioned. "I don't think there is anyone in this world that could stop me being your friend and if they tried then they're probably not the right person for me."
She sighed. "We have the strangest relationship, Marshall."
"There is no way either of us could have a healthy relationship with anyone else with how things are."
He slumped backward in the wheelchair. "What do you want me to say, Mary? Do you want me to say that if I stay with Abigail, one day we'll get married and that there won't be any room for you in my life? Because that's not true…I wouldn't do that."
"But you should….God, Marshall if you loved her…" She watched his reaction closely, trying to work out if he did love Abigail or not by his facial expression but she couldn't read him. "If you did love her, then it will happen."
"It's not a bad thing." She assured him. "Whatever you choose I will accept it and will be happy for you but if you do choose Abigail, then I would have to step back…We couldn't carry on acting like we do…It would be too much and it would be unfair to all us."
"And you would probably end up having a heart attack before your 40 trying to give us both what we need." She finished off. "I don't want that, Marshall…I want you to be happy."
"Abigail said that too." He informed her. "She said that she would walk away if I meant I would be happier."
Mary nodded a little. "I know…"
"Why?" He whispered. "Why would you do that? Why would she? I don't get it."
"Because, Marshall…We love you."
"So, you keep saying." He sighed. "If I choose you…what would that mean? What would we be?"
"Us." She answered shrugged a little.
"So, best friends, partners?" He suggested.
"I want more…I want you." She reached one hand up to stroke his cheek gentle. "I can't promise you that we'll live happily ever after…I can't promise you it won't be hard…but I can promise you that I love you…That I want you."
"But you've never…" He stared at her stunned by her claim. "I thought you didn't…"
"I did." She replied, knowing what he was trying to say. "But I was scared."
"Are you sure?" He asked. "This is not because of Abigail or the baby or the shooting?"
"No, Marshall…I'll admit, it has made me realize how close I am to losing everything that is important to me but what I feel is real." She told him. "Would you believe it was my mom that made me see sense?"
"She told me that if I would just allow myself to commit to someone, then I could be so happy." She answered. "But the thing is…I'm already am committed…to you….Always has been."
"Why haven't you said anything before?"
"Why haven't you?"
"I did…kinda." He sighed. "This is giving me a headache."
She slowly stood up again, moving her hand from his cheek to his shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I'm not very good at this sort of thing…I don't know what I need to say to convince or if I need to convince you but just tell me that you know how much you mean to me."
"I do know, Mare…" He said softly, looking up at her. "But I thought I had us figured out…I thought I knew what you wanted."
"Look, I don't want to drive you crazy…I don't want you worrying about this and it's probably good that you're going away so you can have some space."
"I don't want to hurt you." He said roughly, the knot in his stomach twisting more painfully knowing he had said the same exact words to Abigail. Suddenly feeling sick, realizing that someone would get hurt because of him and it would be one of the two women he cared for most. He didn't think he could do it…He didn't want to.
Mary saw him blinking a couple of times and started to panic, she would not know what to do if he started crying. She wasn't sure what made her do it but before she could stop herself, she leaned down again, this time she brushed her lips against his. It was the lightest of kisses, only brief and barely crossed the line of friendship. She only pulled back a few centimeters, her eyes locking with his.
Any other time she probably would have laughed at the surprised look on his face but this time she didn't. She knew she had complicated things by admitting her feelings and now he was in a terrible position of having to choose between two people he obviously cared about. She wasn't stupid; she knew the risk she was taking. She knew he could be over whatever feeling he may have had for her in past and that his heart now could belong to Abigail. And she knew if that was true, then their friendship would not be the same but she had to tell him because if someday he married Abigail or some other woman, then it would still happen. The only way she could have him in her life, playing the role she wanted him to, was by finally biting the bullet and being honest with him.
She was about to stand up straight again when she saw him moving slightly towards her and she froze, wondering if he was going to kiss her or if she should kiss him again. Was it too much, too soon? Shouldn't they be talking?
Suddenly, they both heard the sound of the door being open and jumped apart. Mary felt a little guilty when saw him wincing in pain but before she could say anything, his parents entered the room.
"Look, at you ready and waiting to go…" Marshall's mom, Sarah said cheerfully, and then notice Mary was in the room too. "Oh, Mary, hi."
She forced a small smile. "Hi."
"How are you doing? Taking care of yourself, I hope."
"Of course." She replied and then reached down for her bag that had been placed on the floor. "Well, I should go…"
"Mary, wait." Marshall said quickly then looked to his parents. "Can you give us a minute?"
Sarah and Seth exchanged looks but backed up towards the door anyway.
"We'll be outside."
Marshall waited until the door was closed behind them before using all his strength to push himself to his feet.
"Marshall!" Mary dropped her bag and rushed to his side, her hands grabbing his arm to stable him.
"I'm okay…" He claimed although he leaned a little of his weight onto her and grimaced in pain. "Mary…"
"Sit down before you fall over…"
"Mary." He said more firmly, gaining her attention and when she looked up at him, he carefully put his arms around her.
They stayed just like that for a few seconds, stood in an awkward embrace before she relaxed a little and sunk into him. Letting go of his arm, she wrapped hers around him, remembering to be carefully of his wound. She rested her head in his chest and just enjoyed the feeling of security. Something she had always felt during the few times she had allowed him to comfort her.
"I'm going to keep the baby…" She whispered out of nowhere.
He looked at her in surprise and she pulled back just enough to look up at him.
"I just…I thought you should know…I'm going to keep it…You were right, I don't think I could let someone else I don't know raise my child." She told him. "I don't know what is going to happen…I still haven't talked to Mark or worked out how it's going to affect being a marshal…"
"I have a feeling it will be worth all the trouble, Mare." He told her softly. "I'm happy for you…I'm relived you changed your mind."
She gave him a small smile and put her head back to his chest, listening to his heartbeat just in case she didn't get another chance. She wished she had, had the guts to talk to him honestly before she ran off to Mexico. It would have been so much easier to deal with all this if it didn't involve another woman, an ex-husband and a baby.
"I should go." She said but didn't move.
"Promise me you'll call me?" He was the one that stepped back. "We'll talk about all this and figure it out…I promise."
She nodded and stretched up to kiss his cheek. "Make sure you listen to your Mom…Let her take care of you."
He smiled a little. "I will."
She picked her bag again on her way to the door, glancing back at him when her hand was on the handle. "See you later, then."
"Yeah." Was all he could say a lump rose in his throat and tears returned to his eyes. "See you later."
He carefully lowered himself back into the wheelchair, all his strength draining out of him. It wasn't long until his parents re-entered the room.
"Marshall?" Sarah said softly, walking towards and lifted his chin so he was looking at her. "Are you okay?"
He took a deep shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut in pain; it felt like his chest and lungs were on fire. "Let's just go…"
Again, his parents looked at each other; having a silent conversation and agreeing not to push him.
"Okay." She moved behind him and started him towards the door. "Let's go home."
The paperwork for his discharge was done after another attempt from the doctors to get him to stay but he wouldn't change his mind. They prescribed him some stronger painkillers for the six and a half hours car journey to Phoenix but it didn't stop the pain and just seemed to make him feel sick.
Once they reached his parents' house, it was getting dark; it had nearly taken an extra four hours due to the amount of times they had to stop on the way. By then his mood had grown sullen and he only spoke to refuse any help as he insisted on an early night and declined any food.
When he was alone in the bedroom he had when growing up, he looked at his cell phone. Both Abigail and Mary had called him more than once during the journey but he didn't pick up; reasoning that it wasn't the kind of call he could take while in the car with his parents listening.
Now he was alone, he knew he should call them back but he couldn't. The last ten hours, since he saw Mary at the hospital had given him chance to think about everything. About what he wanted and why.
If he stayed with Abigail, they could have a happy life. She was easy to love, not complicated and wanted the same things as he did but it would probably be the end of his friendship with Mary.
If he gave a relationship with Mary a shot, there was a huge chance it would fail. He had feelings for her, there was no doubt about that but since meeting Abigail he wondered whether if they were as strong as he once thought. Plus, he didn't know what the future held for them as a couple.
He meant it when he said, he was happy that she was keeping the baby but if they were together, how would he fit into the child's life. An uncle? And how would Mark feel about another man in his child's life? Would he even care?
Would Mary want more children at some point in the future? He had no doubt that he could love Mary's baby…If she hadn't been considering giving it up for adoption, he probably would have allowed himself to it love already but that didn't stop him from wanting his own children.
Then his mind kept returning to the last things he had said to them both. He had made them promise to call him…He had assured them they would talk about it all and figure it out…He had told them both he didn't want to hurt them…
He took the coward's way out and sent a short text message to them both, just stating he had reached his parents' house and was going to sleep.
Because he couldn't figure it out…He didn't want to talk to them…and he knew he would have to hurt at least one of them.
He turned off his phone; more than happy to shut himself away from everyone and everything then led down on the bed, ready for the night of hell he knew was heading his way.
I'm pretty sure I know who must of you want Marshall to end up with but review and let me know anyway.