So how can I say

That while I was away

I had so much to hide?

Hey, guys, it's me

The biggest disappointment you know

The neighborhood slanted its shadows across the lawns. James Church felt like a person from another century, walking by the strange houses of familiar families. Only college students were out for the summer yet, so the streets had been rendered smooth and still. He walked and watched the houses pass, wondering if the families there still knew him.

He walked and he thought of his life, of all the times he'd talked with his mom and dad. All those times that they'd talked, and he'd never told them. It felt almost shameful. They were supposed to stick together, and look where he was now.

"Well," he said to himself, his hands in his pockets. The trees, wind-stirred, shook their heads at him.

They'll have to know, James thought. I can't hide forever.

When he grew sick of walking, he leaned against a tree and watched the sun roll down the horizon. He thought back to the softness of Chris's lips, what they'd done last night, and just how good it all felt. When he remembered, his stomach turned. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a deep sigh.

Do they have to know? he wondered. I can't tell them that. There's no way.

He sighed again. No way.

He glanced up at the sun, shading his eyes with his arm. It's really not changed, he told himself. The neighborhood's the same. I'm the same.

But there was no way to know that, no way to really be sure.

And so he turned, crossing the road, starting back towards his family's house. The leaves shifted, rustling and whispering to themselves. James wanted Chris beside him at that moment, but he knew that he would face his dad alone.

A car grumbled by, and James turned his face away from it. Are you ashamed? Are you really ashamed of yourself?

And if he answered truthfully, James would say that he was.