|All The Things He Couldn't Say
Author: PunkVampy PM
Dean is in Purgatory. He's alone. But he's worried sick about his little brother, and, in a moment of need, he writes to him. All the things he could never say.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Dean W. & Sam W. - Words: 440 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10-14-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8609820
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It's Dean. I know it's not really like me to write but…I guess I miss you, Little Brother. It's the first month without you in this shit hole. I don't really know what to say. When I…left I…I guess that was the first time that I felt scared. I felt like I had failed you, Sammy. I always fail you. I could still be there, with you. I *should* still be there with you. If I had the brains to move out of the damn way when Dick…
Sometimes I wish with all my heart that I just left you at Stanford with Jess. Maybe then you would have been able to save her. I'm so sorry Sammy. I just hope you can forgive me. It's all my fault Sammy. You know I always tried to protect you. I wanted to give you a better life than this. Just so you could be normal kid a little while longer. Guess I failed at that too, huh?
But…we've had some good times haven't we? Just me and you. I think that's what I'm going to miss the most. I just want you to know that no matter what I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to find Cas and I'm going to get out of here. I promise, Sammy.
Remember when we were kids? And we'd dream up these perfect lives. Getting married to Kylie Minogue and Pamela Anderson from Baywatch. How I always said I'd get more girls when we were older…I'm not gonna go and deny it, Sammy but you always got more. I don't think hookers count though.
But hey, listen to me for a second will you? If I don't make it out of here I want you to carry on living. Don't fall apart like I did when you were in the cage…it's funny…that's the first time I've ever told anyone that.
I want you to find a girl. Get married. Settle down. And for god's sake make me a damn Uncle.
I just want you to be happy, Sammy. I know this life kind of ruined everything for you. And believe me, if I could go back and change everything I would.
Sammy…I know I never say this much. No chickflick moments, right? Well…just cos I might not get the chance to say it in person:
I love you, little brother.
Even though you'll never get this letter.
I love you Sammy.
(A/N As soon as Dean wrote this letter he threw it into the fire. It was at that point that Benny pointed out that he was crying.)