Disclaimer; I don't own My So Called Life or any of the characters you recognize. No copy-right infringement intended.

A/N: I know that it's borderline heresy to write a MSCL fic without Angela but this popped into my head and I couldn't get rid of it. I wrote it quite some time ago and when I re-read it I liked it and thought it was wort sharing.

It's obviously completely AU. I just love all the MSCL characters and wanted to mix them up with some of my own.

Come As You Are

Come as you are, as you were,
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy.
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late.

-o0o-

Nirvana - Come As you Are

Emma was standing in the middle of the hallway at her new school, trying to figure out where the hell she was supposed to go. She looked at her schedule and at the map they'd given her and she had no idea what so ever where she was or where she was supposed to go.

"Hey! Can I help you?" A quite cute girl with long hair and very grunge clothes, asked. "I'm Rayanne and you're new."

She smiled at her. "Yeah." She handed Rayanne her schedule and the map. "I'm Emma and I'm both new and lost."

"This is Ricky," she said, pointing at the Latino guy wearing a colorful vest. He gave her a shy smile and a careful wave.

"Hi Ricky. Thanks!" She smiled. "It kind of sucks being new." She was painfully used to it though but it never got any easier.

"Well, you've got English and History with Ricky. The Geometry and Social studies are with me."

"You never even go to class," Ricky said.

"Well, I know where the class rooms are, so I can show her," Rayanne answered as a matter of factually. "Oh, and creative writing in music is with Tino, so if we find him he'll show you."

"Wow, thanks!" That was a big chunk of her classes that she would find people to go with and Rayanne did strike her as the kind of girl who knew quite a few people.

"You play?" Ricky asked.

"Yes."

"What instrument?" Rayanne smiled while handing her the schedule back.

"My dad's a musician, so pretty much all of them. I've been playing for as long as I can remember."

"Wow!" They said while looking at her with big eyes.

"Like I said. It was a lot like learning how to walk in my house. Both my parents played so..." It wasn't bragging. Music was a big part of her life.

"You mom is a musician too?" Ricky asked.

"She was, she died when I was ten."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's ok." They started walking towards English. At least that's what she hoped they were doing.

Ricky brought her inside and she sat down in a bench next to him. She could feel all the others staring at her. The first week was always the first and the first day was a horror. Especially when the teachers were the kind that tried to fling shot you into to the social life of the school. And the big smile she got from the teacher told her everything, this was one of them.

"Well, we have a new student in class. Emma Jones, would you like to come up here and present yourself?" Actually, she would prefer not to, but she did anyway.

Jordan was late as usual and he opened the door in hope to sneak inside fairly unnoticed. He halted halfway in. A skinny blond girl was standing in front of the class and watched him with a crocked smile.

"Jordan, just sit down," the teacher said with a tired voice and he went to the back and did as she asked.

"I think that's pretty much it," the girl in the front said and started to walk back along the row of benches.

"Thank you, Emma."

She sat down just in front of him, he laid down his head on the bench and fell asleep.

-o0o-

It wasn't even lunch yet and Jordan was already bored to death. The only thing he had to look forward to that day was seventh period since he was meeting Cynthia in the boiler room. She had suggested it earlier and he had agreed in a heart beat. He hadn't gotten any in a while so it suited him just fine.

Tino came walking towards them next to a guy he didn't recognize.

"Guys, this is Ethan, he's new." He introduced them to him. "This is Jordan, Shane and Kevin. Ethan is a musician."

Jordan got interested. They needed a base player, the one they had quit a few weeks earlier and it was just as well. He sucked. "What instrument?"

"Pretty much any instrument, I grew up with instruments," he smiled. "It was our milk and cookies."

"Cool," Shane said. "Wish I had a family like that."

They talked for a while and Jordan decided pretty quickly that this was a cool guy. He was fun and had good taste in music. He was easy going and they got along.

"So, we're rehearsing at this loft, wanna come and try to play with us?" Tino asked.

"Sure. I'd like that," he nodded. "When?"

"Tonight."

"Gotta go find Rayanne, she left a note in my locker," Tino said and when Shane whistled he flipped the bird.

"Girlfriend?" Ethan asked once Tino had disappeared.

"Something like that, they fuck," Shane said. "She's nice and all, but crazy. Drinks like a fish."

"There's one in every school," Ethan shrugged.

"Gotta split," Jordan said after looking at his watch. He had shop and he didn't want to miss it. It was the only class he had a shot in hell to pass.

"Yeah, see you." Shane waved. "What's your next class?" He asked Ethan. Jordan didn't hear the answer.

-o0o-

Emma found Rayanne waiting by her locker.

"This is Tino," she said and pointed at a dark haired quite tall guy. "Tino, this is Emma. She's new."

"Hi, you're the guy who's taking the same music class as me?" Emma asked as she shook his hand.

"Yeah." He wrinkled his eyebrows and eyed her carefully. "Rayanne says you play a lot of instruments."

"Yes." She opened her locker to throw in some books and picked up the ones for music.

"That's funny. I met another guy today who said the same thing." He was still eyeing her with a slight smile.

"Ethan?" She smiled. She should have known, if there was a guy who everyone knew and who played in a band, Ethan would have found him. "He's my brother."

"Guess that explains it."

"I'll see you later," she said to Rayanne and Ricky and followed Tino to her next class.

Ricky had given her the basics about Tino and Rayanne, which also told her some about Rayanne. She was the crazy sligtly slutty girl of the school. They were usually a lot of fun so it didn't really bother Emma.

"Ethan said your milk and cookies was music and instruments when you were kids."

"It was. There was always a lot of instruments around and people who could teach us."

"Must have been nice."

"In some ways. In other ways it would have been nice to have normal parents who didn't move around the entire time. Or who remembered a parent meeting but it could have been worse."

She knew it sounded exotic to most other kids. To her it was just her life and it would have been nice with a normal family in some aspects. At the same time she loved her family and the people surrounding it.

They got to class, this was one of the reasons she had agreed to move to Three Rivers. This class seemed nice. Ethan had chosen to not take it, he assumed it would suck but she hoped it would at least give her a chance to learn something. It would at least let her write songs as a part of school work.

-o0o-

Jordan was at his locker again, talking to Ethan when the guy suddenly smiled. He saw Rayanne, that strange kid and the skinny blond girl from his english class coming towards them.

"Pixie bitch!" He yelled towards them with a smile. The girl laughed and screamed back at him.

"Bastard son!" She came up to them. "Met one of your new pals earlier. Tino."

Ethan just nodded.

"This is Rayanne and Ricky," she continued and pointed at the two people behind her. Ricky, that was his name, the weird guy. Ethan waved and then he pointed at him and Shane.

"This is Shane and Jordan." Jordan nodded at her. She was kind of pretty.

"So, did you have to get up and introduce yourself in any of the classes?" Ethan smiled while he put his arms around her shoulders.

"All of them. You?"

"None," he said with a smug face.

"I have to work on my menacing face. You just glare at them. The teachers wouldn't even dare to ask you."

"You're much to pretty and innocent for a menacing face."

"Great, you make me sound like a My Little Pony." She turned and looked at the clock. "I have to run."

"See you at home." Ethan kissed her forehead. She started to walk away. She had weird clothes, tight, black jeans and t-shirt, her hair was up in two big buns. The very tight jeans did however made her ass look nice, very nice, even.

"Girlfriend?" Kevin asked.

"What? No she's my little sister." That was it then to Jordan. He wouldn't hit on friends baby sisters. Shane had made it very clear that it was stepping over the line. She was pretty though. "Trust my sister to find the weirdest kids in school for friends." He said while looking at her as she walked away.

"Really?" Shane asked.

"Yeah. She's like a weird kids-magnet," Shane laughed. "Does Tino take that creative writing in music-stuff?""

"Yeah."

"That's probably where she met him."

"She plays too?" Jordan asked. In his experience the only thing chicks did was hanging around when guys practiced. They didn't play.

"Yup." Ethan nodded. "She's the talent." Jordan took a look down the hallway at that nice ass in the tight jeans. He wondered what kind of a girl she was.

-o0o-

Emma was sitting in the kitchen reading when Laura, their stepmom, walked in.

"Hey! How was the first day in school?"

"Ok, met some nice people. And Ethan is already in a band."

Laura just laughed. "I bet. Any cute guys?"

For a second, Jordan's face flashed through her head. But Rayanne had kind of warned her about him. Apparently, he was a boiler room kind of guy. This was after she had explained what the boiler room was. But he was cute, amazing eyes.

"Maybe, I don't know." She shrugged. "How's the new hospital?"

"Seems nice, well run. I think I'll like it." Laura sat down opposite her and looked at the coffee cup. "How's the sleep?"

"It's ok, not great but it's been worse."

"Let me know if you need pills."

"I don't like pills, you know that." Laura just nodded but Emma saw the worried look. Pills made her sleep but it was a bad kind of sleep and she didn't like it. It made her dozy the entire next day as well. Thankfully, the discussion was interrupted.

"My peeps!" Her brother yelled as he walked inside. Behind him was Tino, Kevin, Shane and... Jordan. Great! He introduced them to Laura who immediately started to make food. That was her reaction every time they brought friends home. No-one would ever leave her house hungry. That was her rule.

Their dad had met Laura about a year after their mother died, thanks to Ethan. She was a working at the ER and Ethan had broken his arm. Emma loved Laura, she had never tried to take their mothers place and that way, she did. She didn't intrude, but she was always there for anything they might need.

"Are you hungry, Emma?"

She just shook her head and collected her things. "I still have stuff to unpack," she said and walked upstairs to her room.

Jordan watched Emma as she left the kitchen. A second later Laura placed a plate full of food in front of him. This was a great place! Food! And good food, he noticed as he started eating. Laura sat for a while, talking to them and then she took off.

"So, she's a musician?" Tino asked.

"Laura?" Ethan looked surprised. "No, she's a doctor. She's my stepmom, my mom died when I was twelve."

They all stopped eating. "Oh, sorry," Tino finally said.

"It's ok." Ethan just shrugged. Jordan just looked at him for a while, wondering if he should say something but decided that he didn't want to. He could do it some other time.

When they finished the food Ethan got up and started to make coffee. When it was done he got put the pot on the table along with sugar and milk and then walked over to the stairs. "Pixie Bitch! Coffee!"

"Why do you call her that?" Tino laughed.

"Cause she looks like a pixie and she's a bitch. Well actually she looked more like a pixie when she was a kid. Tiny, skinny and pale white," Ethan explained as he sat down. "Everyone calls her Pixie. I just added the bitch," he smiled.

Emma came into the kitchen, her hair was loose in waves all the way down to her waist. He almost choked on his coffee. She sat down next to Ethan and laid her head on his shoulder.

"How you doin', Pixie?"

"I'm ok."

Laura came out just a second later. "Honey, more coffee?" She said with a frown.

"It's ok, Laura. I wouldn't have slept anyway," Emma said and got up and gave Laura a kiss on her cheek. Jordan found it hard to stop looking at her. Her long hair, blue eye and pouty lips.

What did she just say? She wouldn't have slept anyway? What did that mean?

He took a final look at that ass when she left. About half an hour later Tino, Kevin and Shane took off but he stayed and talked to Ethan. He was a really nice guy. Besides, he didn't want to go home yet. His dad had been drinking quite a lot lately. If he just waited a few hours he would be out cold and he could just lock himself into his room.

"I need to hit the sack," Ethan said about an hour later.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Jordan said as he got up. "Thanks for everything, food and stuff."

"It's just Laura. It's like a rule in her life to never let anyone leave her house hungry."

As he got out he lit a cigarette and he suddenly heard a sound behind him. He looked towards the house and saw someone climbing a tree next to the house. But whoever it was, was climbing down, not up. He went closer to see better when the person jumped down the last few feet.

"Oh, hi!" It was Emma. "Could you, like, not tell anyone?"

"Where are you going?" Why was she sneaking out, was she meeting some guy? And why the fuck did he care?

When she got closer he noticed the backpack, was she even staying the night at some guys house? Was it even possible to not tell Ethan, it was his little sister? He would want to know if it was his little sister.

"Just to this café I found. It's open all night." She seemed embarrassed. "I... I'm an..."

"A what?" This was a weird conversation.

"An insomniac." What the fuck did that mean? Jordan had never even heard the word, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't want her to think he was stupid or something. "I can't sleep," she explained when he didn't say anything.

"Like... ever?"

"No, I sleep, just not very well, or very long." By the time she reached her bike he realized what she was up to. She was going to take the bike?

"I'll give you a lift." If he had a little sister he would have wanted his friend to give her a lift rather than bike around alone in the middle of the night.

"Nah, I'm good. I need to be able to get home as well." She got on the bike and took off. Jordan got into his car and went home.

His dad was passed out on the couch so he went up to his room and locked his door. He wondered what café she was going to. He hadn't heard of one that was open all night and even if he could sleep it would be nice to have some place to hang out and wait for dad to pass out.

-o0o-

Emma sat down with her coffee in a booth. She hoped that Jordan wouldn't say anything. Her dad would probably be ok with it, but Ethan and Laura was always all over her ass about not sleeping. Her backpack was full of school books, she took them out and started with the homework.

Four hours later she got up, she was tired enough to maybe be able to sleep a couple of hours now. She threw the money on the table and nodded to the woman behind the counter.

'Moon Mouth', she had a feeling she would be very familiar with this place. On her way home she allowed herself to think about Jordan. Her bike was her free zone, all those things she avoided thinking about any other time was allowed on her bike.

A boiler room-guy. She was not a boiler room-girl. She was a virgin, had hardly even been kissed. Falling in love was stuff she read about, but she hadn't really experienced it. If she would fall in love it would definitely not be with a guy who was a friend of her brothers. They stayed away from each others friends, that was the agreement.

By the time she got home she was so messed up again she went down to the basement. Their dad had built a studio there which meant it was sound proof. She sat down in front of the piano and started playing.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder she jumped and turned around. "Ethan! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry. Can I sit?"

"Sure!"

"So, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Three rivers."

"Seems ok. You?"

"Yeah, I like the guys I met." They started to play four hands, she was leaning against his shoulder. The guys, Jordan among them. "What about Rayanne and Ricky?"

"I like them. She seems a bit crazy. But I like them." She felt him kiss the top of her head. "Did you tell anyone who dad is?"

"No."

"They'll find out eventually, but I like it if they don't know to start with, you know."

He leaned towards her and kissed her cheek. "I know what you mean and don't worry. When we tell them we do it at the same time."

They sat and played for a long time and she finally started to feel sleepy and kissed Ethan as she left to get a couple of hours of sleep.