"Oh my god, Erin, it's so boring!"

"We've been on the road for twenty minutes."

"We have been on the road for twenty three minutes!"

"Sorry."

Kelly was sitting in the passengers seat, listening to the new No Doubt album. She wanted it to be like some of the last albums, maybe like Gwen's solo stuff? Kelly didn't even know what she was supposed to expect anymore. She just wanted to like it.

Kelly sighed, as her best friend in the entire world drove, and her boyfriend followed. She looked out the window, and sighed again. She was never the smartest, most talented, or thinnest. In middle school, she was cruelly picked on. Isolation, insults, and dirty looks followed her around. Thank god she moved freshman year.

A new atmosphere allowed Kelly to break out of her shell. She had choir and drama, and had a boys attention immediately. His name was Byron, and he was lanky with huge blue eyes and messy, dark brown hair in a Jewish way. She probably wouldn't have been able to date him if another Indian boy were at her school, which made being a minority pretty damn cool. Besides, the Anglo Saxon girls envied Kelly, who, it turned out, just needed a friend or two to be bubbly and happy.

By senior year, she was one of the top 30 students (she maintained her grades to A's and B's to make her parents proud); had sex with two gorgeous guys, which was just enough to not be considered a slut (not that she acknowledged society's views on sex, she just didn't want to be bullied); knew how to make fancy drinks; and was one of the most popular girls in school. Sure, she wasn't the most beautiful, but she was loved. Kelly just wanted that type of notation all that time.

This continued through college, except people noticed something about Kelly that she hadn't noticed until now: she was shallow. Everyone was getting into indie films (not movies; god forbid you call them movies) and Pabst Blue Ribbon. They were watching MTV because they felt like Daria, not because of the music. Kelly was an outcast on the side she wanted to be, where everyone seemed really nice. The only option was leaning to the shallow side, where she was twice everyone's size and acted like her middle school tormentors. Making herself as genuine as possible, Kelly survived college without a scratch. Unless you count sexual assault, but she kept her head up. It wasn't her fault, and she had the assaulter and his friend who sold roofies arrested, so who's the enemy now, biatch?

Post college, Kelly sought for attention, with the story of her assault and saying she was pregnant. She very well could've been! She would never say it unless she had been laid the month before and hadn't had her period yet. Pregnancy didn't scare her; she had planned for it since she was young. Apparently, "lying" gets you a meeting with human resources. It was a good thing she and Toby were as close as they were.

Toby would start by saying something boring, like, "Kelly, did you say you were pregnant?"

Then, Kelly would widen her eyes adorably like Lucille Ball and Danny Pudi's sexy baby. How wouldn't that baby be sexy? You know; once it grows up. "Who? Me? Or Erin?"

Toby would sigh and say something like. "You. Erin rarely talks, and you're the one with the boyfriend."

"She does come off virginal," Kelly would say under her breath, and snap her well manicured fingers. "Wait! I know what you mean." She giggles a little and says, " I mentioned how cute these little jumpers would be perfect for my future son in the break room to Erin and Phyllis, and maybe someone misunderstood it? I don't know."

Toby would blink and say to try making things clearer, and Kelly would shrug and go back to doing what she was doing before.

Finding herself back in Erin's car, which isn't that crappy, Kelly found the time had passed rather significantly. The album was over (and replaced with Kelly's Up soundtrack), nothing looked familiar out the windows, and the clock said it was an hour later.

"Good morning, sleepy head," Erin said, "or, good evening. But that sounds really creepy, like," Erin made herself sound like a vampire in those boring vampire movies Ryan tried to get her into instead of Twilight, "good evening."

You're funnier than I give you credit for," Kelly smiled.

"Thanks," Erin said, "it's fun to make people laugh, and Amy Poehler says 'You can't look stupid when you're having fun'."

"She has really pretty hair."

"She has a face like sunshine."

Kelly and Erin both laughed. One of their inside jokes was that Erin looked like Becca in Bridesmaids. Kelly insisted, and Michael said he "saw it", but Erin didn't. Becca was "too pretty", as she admitted in an insecure moment.

Their stomachs growled on cue. "I'm hungry," Kelly said.

"Me, too," Erin said. It was as in their stomachs weren't connected for a minute.

They passed by a dive bar, a threatening looking place. A big sign said WE HAVE FOOD that looked like a toddler wrote it. "Let's go there," Kelly said, "it has good road appeal."

"Sure," Erin said. Eternally Eager Erin: a nun called her that in her childhood, and Kelly was glad it stuck around in their aduthood. Hell, she was glad for Erin, the best friend she ever had.

#

Meanwhile, Ryan was in his own junk chic car, observing Kelly and Erin's traveling through the road more than his own. Erin was a good driver; this surprised Ryan. She always seemed too worried to be a good driver. Maybe she hyperfocused on not crashing, not killing everyone on the road, not Kelly. Good god, he loved her so much. Kelly, obviously. Erin would be best in a three way with him and Kelly. Maybe on their own.

They turned into a gross dive bar. Two women with gigantic breasts and pretty nice faces were walking in there? It was insane! He should go in, too. Then again, who would call the police.

Ryan drove passed.