Author: The Beautiful Filth PM
When she thought she was the one who changed, he was the one who metamorphosed. Why hadn't he grasped what he had left with all his might? [Based on Volume 11, Chapter 3 alternative ending.]Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Mal F. & Natara W. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,994 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 03-27-13 - Published: 10-20-12 - id: 8625812
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Sorry for keeping you all waiting :P Thanks for your review guys! :D I originally intended for this to be a one shot, but I left an open ending in Chapter 1, and you all are so encouraging and wants me to continue... So here is the second chapter!
Mozzi-Girl: ooh, thanks :) I was actually thinking if I should continue writing this, but you gave me the idea to :D Unlike my usual first-person writing style, this is something new that I'm trying. Describing emotions with third person :) thanks for encouraging!
bugreid: O_O thanks; and your stories aren't half bad either, heh :D
diamondsintheroughhh: thanks for your review :D /blushes/
animiction: Thanks dearie! I love how you describe Kagome's conflict in "Kagome's Anthology" too :D
Crimson Endings (Tori): Thanks, and I love your stories as well!
NatXOscarShipper: Thanks! I haven't been playing CoD for long, I only started when Shawn was discovered to be the Kraken, yeah. I'll get him show his badass side soon, now that you mention it :)
But I Have Promises To Keep: First, I love your user name... And miles to go before I sleep :D and thanks!
Natara knew she had to help Mal, no matter what. She wasn't the type of girl to give up easily, and it was definite that she would rip the world apart just to help Mal get back to his normal life.
Even if it meant leaving everything behind her. Even if she had to leave the precinct, her sister or Oscar.
She completely understood that she never fell in love with him. Never had she been captivated in a kiss that she shared with Oscar. Never had she felt protected from the world when Oscar was by her side.
She comprehended that it would be cruel to leave Oscar for Mal, especially when Oscar had mended her broken heart - almost. From the bottom of her heart, she knew that a part of her still loved Oscar - she wasn't in love with him though.
You never stop loving someone. That's what Natara learnt when Mal was cruelly taken away from her two years ago. Mal had been abducted for two years, brainwashed and tormented until he became The American. He crossed moral lines after moral lines, until he was completely caught up in the haze and lost himself.
That wasn't the Mal Fallon she knew. The Mal Fallon she knew wasn't a by-the-book detective, yet he wouldn't go so far as to kill and "uphold justice". She was still grateful that Mal recognized that he had crossed moral lines; that was one thing that kept her sane and refrained her from yanking onto Mal's collar and shrieking sense in his face.
Esmeralda Salazar, what did you do to my choirboy?
A part of her wanted to leave Oscar; she had never loved him more than a good friend. However, she was brought to follow marriage rules - she was raised to love only her husband, nobody else. She couldn't bear to leave Oscar once again when she already broke his heart two years ago, only that his heart had also healed with Natara.
Yes, she loved Mal, but she wasn't willing to move on. She love the choirboy who winced at the sight of bodies, not the man that looked at corpses with a haunted and distant look in his azure orbs. She loved the choirboy who cracked jokes by the water cooler and on the squad car, not the killer who glared at display of sympathy and kindness. She fell in love with the choirboy who gathered her in his arms when she cried, not the person who pushed here away when she wanted to crush him in a warm embrace.
The American was no longer Mal Fallon. He was no longer the Malachi Charles Fallon that got Natara Williams enchanted and captivated.
Mal went back to his old apartment, untouched since he left the room to look for Nat two years ago after he crashed the wedding. Everything was left intact, just like how he remembered; yet he couldn't feel that he belonged to this place. Everything had changed drastically, had gone through a metamorphosis.
Or, was it hewho metamorphosed?
He never knew Natara was capable of showing such intense emotions; the Natara Williams who almost broke into tears in front of her was unknown to him. Did he miss how Natara changed, or did he forget about Natara Williams?
So it couldn't be him who changed completely. As much as he hated to admit, Natara and Blaise and others had changed, and he was the one who remained unchanged and unfazed.
If this was the case, how could he choose to cross moral lines, one after one another, until he wasn't sure whether he had any moral lines to begin with?
He couldn't let go. At all.
He couldn't let go of that mind-reading freak FBI Agent Natara Williams.
That's why he refused an arrangement of marriage from Pablo Salazar to his nephew, Rosalyn Salazar. He knew that the elegant calligraphy of Natara Williams were engraved deep onto his iron heart, and it couldn't even be eliminated by the strongest flame in the world.
Malachi Charles Fallon, when on hell did you become a hopelessly cheesy romantic?
No, Mal reasoned, no way on earth. He knew he had to cut all ties with his old life, and he seriously contemplated marrying Rosalyn. She was pretty and looked a bit like Natara, so why shouldn't he use a replacement?
No, dude. Are you like, crazy or something? How will Nat feel? His inner voice reasoned.
But she got back together with Oscar. The Hispanic who didn't love Natara as much as he did; yet somehow, they ended up together again. How could Natara end up with someone she didn't love, he honestly had no idea. Was that a hint for him to move on?
"Dude, if I were you, I wouldn't marry Rosalyn," Carlito spoke suddenly, holding onto a shot of tequila. They were in the lounge of General Salazar's castle, slumped over the bar table.
"What gave you rights to say this, Carlito?" Mal spat bitterly, "You are in love with Esmeralda, Carlito; I could see it in your eyes. So shut the hell up and let me drink."
"Who said I were in love with Esme? I never even liked her."
"You wouldn't even experience the pain of loving someone for three whole years, only to have crashed her wedding, confessed to her and ended up in this hell hole!" Mal stood up abruptly, slamming his fist onto the table.
"Trust me, I do," Carlito spoke with a calmed composure, yet his eyes were undeniably flaming with rage and regret.
"Oh really? Do tell."
"I was in love with my next door neighbor, and she was also from a prestigious family. She was the daughter of a transnational textile conglomerate chief executive officer, and I proposed to her before I got shipped here. My father basically blackmailed me into the nuptial with Esmeralda to unite the cartels."
Mal listened with sympathy and silently told Carlito to continue.
"Lauren... she hung herself in my room." Carlito buried his face into his palms.
"You've got to be kidding, bro," When did you even start calling Carlito your brother, Mal?
"Dude, that's true. I left without further delay for San Trobida because I couldn't simply bear with the thought of my Lauren haunting the Flores mansion."
"Guess we're more alike than we thought then, Carlito," Mal slapped his back. Carlito broke into a sad grin, and smacked Mal on the fist.
Natara could almost feel the physical pain - Mal's words were like swords stabbing relentlessly into her fragile heart. Blood poured fresh from every cut, yet she couldn't feel the pain. Her aching heart overrode her self control, numbed her senses.
Somehow, she knew she had to leave Oscar for Mal, for Mal was her only true love. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to do so. It'd be so cruel to Oscar, she often told herself. Could you be sure that you'd bring the completely badass choirboy back if you leave Oscar?
Could you, Natara?
Could you be sure that you would be Princess Williams, walking down the aisle with King Mansingh holding your arm and handing your hand over to Count Fallon?
Admit it, Natara. You've never ever gotten over Mal.
She knew that she should leave Oscar. Dragging things on, and even going on the anniversary dinner with him would only make him suffer unnecessarily longer. He was an honorable man, with a big heart and understanding mind. He would definitely understand Natara's decision.
What about her father? He was immensely disappointed in Natara after she decided to enter law enforcement instead of following his footsteps in global finances and business, but was he happy that she spoke her mind? She knew her father wasn't happy with her marriage; his eyes didn't glitter in joy and care when he took in his son-in-law, unlike how he looked at his wife. She wasn't so stupid to ask her father if she was satisfied and happy; she knew she couldn't bear another scolding. She had had enough when she changed her surname from Mansingh to Williams, cutting all obvious ties with the Mansingh Transnational corporation.
Was she happy in her marriage with Oscar? Neha had often asked her this question, yet she couldn't quite answer it.
She couldn't bring herself to admit that she didn't love Oscar, that her affection towards him had diminished into thin air once she started treating him as a suspect of the Ladykiller case while she did her job. Oscar had deemed her behavior as her being distrustful, and they only rekindled their relationship after much effort... but should a good relationship be rekindled after much effort, only to remain on-and-off?
What about the proposal? She knew Oscar was being understanding. Considering her age, nearly thirty-one, she might as well remain a spinster. She couldn't bring herself to understanding the motive behind Oscar's proposal in front of the precinct - why couldn't he wait till some other time, when they both were comfortable? Why couldn't he wait until when she was dressed properly, at least in her work clothes, instead of mismatched trousers and blouse?
The more she thought about it, the more she compared Oscar to Mal. Mal definitely would come up with some more unorthodox ways to propose to her. He wouldn't be the one who got down to one knee and did it in the traditional manner. He would most probably go like, "Hell Nat, you've got me enchanted, and I bet your freaky brain with mind-reading abilities already figured out my question. So what's your answer?", while brandishing a down-to-earth, yet stunning, ring in front of her, right in front of her eyes - or even on her holster.
She missed the one who put his hand on his single holster whenever Kai got under his skin, not the one who was cold and unapproachable, with two holsters on his belt.
Natara knew she had to take action - fast - yet she couldn't do so.
She couldn't hurt another person anymore.
Mal was shocked - that was an understatement. He never expected Carlito to be married to Esmeralda for some exchange crap; he thought Esmeralda used her beauty as a snare and manipulated Carlito into marrying her. Carlito wasn't so dense, after all.
The idea of leaving the cartel business behind overwhelmed him. He knew he had to go back to Natara, his one and only true love; yet he couldn't put everyone associated with him at risk of Pablo Salazar's threats. He had no doubts that he would be the one who hired snipers to splatter his brains if he dared to talk about boarding a private jet.
Was he willing to sacrifice the "future", the "prospect"?
Could people accept him after he disappeared and was reported dead after two years?
What would Nat, Blaise, Jeremy, Kai, Amy, or even Chuckle Anders do when they knew what he was up to during the course of these two years?
The more he thought, the more he felt uneasy. He had betrayed the trust that everyone had in him, and turned into a complete savage. A complete barbarian with nothing but blood lust to care about. A lethal automaton who cared about nothing but killing. He couldn't believe he had been so selfish. Natara was the one who plucked up her courage to confess to him right after he crashed her wedding. That was enough to show that she trusted him, wasn't it? He could very well trust Natara not to spill the secret to anyone. He couldn't let anyone know that he is The American - that would break Cynthia's heart, Angela's trust, the precinct's faith in him. It would crush Jacob, the rogue captain who first threw himself into the cartel.
Where was the Mal Fallon who swore that he had nothing to do with the cartels? Where was the one who sneered at his father's disdainful act and refused to call him "father"? Where was the hatred for his father?
Most of all, how could he bear to leave Natara heartbroken, to leave her married to Oscar?
He could finally feel the demise of humanity after these two years. He finally opened up his heart that was sealed with steel over time, and a silent tear rolled out of his eye.
He could feel his soul slowly colorizing again. He felt vigor slowly making its way into his veins, penetrating his arteries and veins and finally reaching his heart. Never had his heart beaten with such energy and vitality before.
It was as if he found a new meaning to life.
To find Natara Williams.
Natara understood completely that she had to find Mal, to rescue him from that deep pit of Hades before he reached the point of no return. She couldn't let others suffer, yes; but she couldn't let Mal suffer, above all. She could see from his eyes, though securely concealed, the hollow soul that was threatening to break his heart and shatter his life once it wasn't under tight guard.
When she looked into his eyes, the eyes didn't belong to the badass choirboy that she knew. It belonged to a stranger - The American. The American had snatched the man she knew away, and didn't return it; not even under the tight claws of fate.
Her phone vibrated, signalling a new call.
"Hi dear," She spoke into the phone, with a small smile painted on her lips. She already knew what she had to do.
"Hey there, beautiful. Are you ready for our anniversary dinner yet?" Oscar's unmistakably cheerful voice rang form the other end of the receiver. She couldn't believe that she was about to hurt this man - the man who helped her move on, the one who helped her to cope with Mal;s disappearance, the one who forced her to sleep on a proper bed after sleeping on a couch in the SFPD lounge room for half a year, living on a bottle of rum.
"I'll be ready in thirty. Pick me up!" She said cheerfully. She already had the perfect dress in mind - black cocktail dress, with shimmering silver lining on the edges. That was the dress that she planned to wear for the departure to the honeymoon venue; the only remaining dress that Mal hadn't seen.
She hoped that she was in time to catch Mal, to make him realise that he wasn't alone.
She had already made up her mind. If Mal wasn't going to return to normalcy in San Francisco, she would be the one to drag him back.
And she wasn't intimidated by the prospect by a single bit. She had already determined, and myriad plans appeared in her mind instantaneously. She wasn't going to let anyone destroy her plan, not even the cartel that held Mal hostage and changed him into a cold-blooded killer.
However, first things first. She had to tell Oscar about her decision... and deep down, she knew Oscar wouldn't be very happy for his sake, but happy for her.
She could already feel a part of herself releasing and relaxing, the first time in two years since Mal;s abduction. The attempts that the SFPD had put on were rendered futile, and no records could be traced of his whereabouts. Damn cartels.
Natara had already decided that she would, at all costs, bring Malachi Charles Fallon back to the world where she and he both knew, instead of the Salazar cartel headquarters that could never be called home - there were no friends, no families, no love. She couldn't leave him alone there, in his solitary lifestyle, any longer. She had had enough.
Wait for me, Mal; I'm coming to save you from your descent down inhumanity. I'm not going to let you slip away from my hands when I can tightly hold onto you and never let go.
I know this ended quite abruptly, but I knew I had to update somehow, to prevent you throwing .26 revolvers at me or snapping my collarbone like Jeremy did in V10C5 xD This is NOT going to be a long story -I'm thinking of around ten chapters at most? Updates will be terribly infrequent :( My apologies. But I'm a massive nerd and I've got tonnes of work to work on, especially the Year Book. I swear my life's going to be cut few years short if people keep on pissing me off -_-
Until next time! Stay tuned, and please review :) They motivate me to keep on writing x