"Where You Can't Hear Me"

Don't touch me, Takeru.

Can't you see how much it hurts me to be close to you? To see you smile so often, and know that those wonderful smiles will never be meant for me?

I want to be close to you so badly it burns. It's like someone's lit a fire deep inside in my stomach and every time I look at you, it fans the flames. It's not a feeling I really understand, but it scares me so much . . . I can never tell you.

I want to be your friend- your best friend, your only friend- but I can't even speak to you without saying something even stupider than usual and getting you mad at me.

Like today- I wasn't trying to make you angry when I interrupted your date with Hikari. I AM jealous, though. I can admit it here, inside my mind, where you can't hear me. But it isn't you I'm jealous of . . .

It's her.

How can she talk to you so easily? How is it that she always says the right thing, while Daisuke the idiot keeps sticking his stupid foot in his mouth every other sentence? Did your friendship come to her this easily? Was it as easy for her to steal your heart as it once was for her to steal mine?

Yet now . . . it's not her I want. It's you.

But I have no idea what for.

* * *

Please touch me, Daisuke.

Can't you see how much it hurts me not to be close to you? To see you grinning all the time, and to know that those amazing grins will never be meant for me?

It's so cold when you're not around. It's like there's a block of ice deep inside in my chest where my heart used to be and every time I touch you, it melts just a little more. It's not a feeling I really understand, but it scares me so much . . . I can't even tell you.

I want to be your friend- your best friend, your only friend- but I can't even speak to you without saying something stupid and getting you mad at me.

Like right now- I'm not really angry that you've interrupted my so-called "date" with Hikari, if that's even what it is. I AM jealous, though. I'll admit it here, inside my mind, because you can't hear me here. But it isn't you I'm jealous of . . .

It's her.

How can she talk to you so easily? How is it that she always says the right thing, while stupid little T.K. keeps screwing up? Did your friendship come to her this easily? Was it just as easy for her to steal your heart, or did that take longer?

Don't you get it? It's not her I want- it's you.

And I have no idea what for.

* * *

Later . . .

"Hey, Matt? Can we talk?"

"Oh, hey, Daisuke! Long time no see. What's up?"

"Well, I kinda have a question to ask you about Takeru . . . Please don't freak out."

"Uh, okay . . . Shoot."

* * *

"Um, Jun . . .? Can I talk to you?"

"Eh? Oh, you're one of Daisuke's friends, aren't you? Uh, T.V., right?"

" . . . Close enough. I kinda need to ask you a question about Daisuke. Do you mind?"

"Nope, go ahead."

* * *

"Do you think there's a chance he might like me?"

*ende*