|The Silence Left From Screaming
Author: Tvmatchmaker795 PM
Emma is battered and broken and Mary Margaret can find no comfort without her. Guilt, hope, and hopelessness fill both of the women's worlds as they each struggle to cope with horrible events. ALTERNATIVE ENDING TO 'A SECOND CHANCE'. It can be read as an independent story, but I suggest reading my other story first.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Family - Emma S. & Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10-23-12 - Status: Complete - id: 8637255
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I know this is going to pretty intense for most so just be thankful this wasn't the ending of my other fic. Please review and comment. I am very interested in knowing what you think of this ALTERNATIVE ENDING.
Margaret wipes away the tears in her eyes as she clutches Emma's hand. Her heart hurts so much for the woman in front of her. She's been siting diligently at her best friend's side since she got out of surgery. Dr. Whale told her that it wasn't invasive and it was just to make sure the gashes over her body were not infected but her mind still screamed that Emma had to have surgery. It's only been a couple hours and already she feels hopelessly lost without her roommate.
"Wake up Emma. Please. I promised I wouldn't leave you but that doesn't mean you can leave me." Mary Margaret carefully brushes the blonds bangs out of the way of the bandage covering most of her forehead. She searches her best friend's face for any signs of awaking but she sees nothing. She closes her eyes and lets her tears fall freely. She honestly thought she didn't have any more tears after seeing Emma on the sidewalk so beaten and cried as hard as she did.
Mary Margaret clutches her chest with her free hand after she feels her heart tighten with fear. Something about seeing Emma in pain or just in danger makes her want to break down and cry, and protect Emma from anything like it. It confuses her about all the motherly instincts that arise when Emma is near.
Her mind is still racing yet Mary Margaret finds herself fighting off sleep. She straightens her back with a jolt when she feels her body beginning to slump against Emma's bed. She swears to keep her eyes open but soon her consciousness begins to fade as sleep claims her.
Everything seems to snap awake. Her eyes immediately open and her body seems to twitch for a second. Mary Margaret takes a minute to adjust to her situation. She can already feel her body moaning in protest at the position she is in. Leaning from a chair on Emma's bed/legs is not at all comfortable yet she managed to fall asleep. She lets out a sigh and tries to get more comfy. She closes her eyes and tries to enjoy a moment of peace.
"You awake yet?"
The voice startles her out of her half-sleep status and Mary Margaret immediately sits up. Her heart pounds as she gazes upon a smiling Emma. She has to restrain herself so she doesn't hurt Emma as she hugs the woman fiercely. She hears Emma chuckle when she wraps her arms delicately around Emma's waist. Mary Margaret feels her eyes begin to mist up again and when she pulls back from the hug, Emma's reaction confirms her suspicion.
"Don't cry! I- I'm fine. Dr. Whale said if I pass all the medical tests today than I can go home maybe tomorrow afternoon." Emma says very quickly as if she thought Mary Margaret was going to burst into a fit of sobs right there. She probably couldn't even if her emotions felt like it; her tears are mostly gone by now. Mary Margaret smiles through her watery eyes.
"You called it home." It almost feels like a question but she rephrases it so that she doesn't scare Emma off. Somehow, despite all that they have been through, it feels like Emma still is someone she needs to be careful with. She knows she is the one being protected most of the time but that's going to change. This whole experience has changed her. When her focus shifts back to Emma, she notices Emma is looking at her with a questioning gaze.
"I've almost always called it home…"
Mary Margaret tilts her head sideways and thinks about why she thought Emma calling her house home was so monumental.
"I guess I'm just over sentimental because you-" Her voice stops dead and the sentence just hangs in the air. She averts her eyes, hurting from mentioning Emma's absence. Emma squeezes her hand and she looks up.
"I'm fine." The words seem forced and out of place. Mary Margaret can feel anger arise from a place deep inside her. At first she is confused why her anger is directed at Emma but then she realizes that she is angry with Emma for not dealing with her emotional scars.
Her features harden as she looks at Emma. "No, you're not. You can't just wake from a coma and expect everything to be okay. You nearly were killed so you can't just lay here and pretend that you are fine." Her outburst shocks Emma. Emma glances away and she can see water droplets forming at the corners of Emma's eyes. She can tell she pushed too far. Immediately her anger disappears and guilt, just as strong, takes its place. "I was so scared, Emma." Her voice is small and weak. She drops her gaze and refuses to look up even though she feels Emma's gaze on her. Her shame heats up her cheeks. She just yelled at her best friend for trying to cope with a near death experience.
"I was too. But you know what got me through it all?" Emma sounds so sincere and not at all mad. When she keeps quiet and her head hanged low, Emma answers her own question.
Mary Margaret's head lifts up and hears her heart thumping in her ears. She never thought she meant that much to her roommate. She knew that she was closer to Emma than everyone in Storybrooke, maybe except Henry. She smiles at Emma and grabs Emma's hand with her two. This time tears of joy start to cloud her vision.
"I- I" She stumbles for words. Her mind is racing to try to find a way of saying everything she feels at this moment.
You helped her.
The voice from her dream comes back. The words echo in her head and suddenly she knows what to say.
"I love you, Emma." She waits with baited breath for Emma's reaction. Emma seems to be shocked but then her features seem to glow as Emma smiles cautiously at her. A smile lights up Mary Margaret's face at Emma's reaction and she beams when Emma actually wraps her arms around her when she hugs Emma. A feeling of serenity settles deep within her. She closes her eyes and sighs, happy to remain in this moment forever.
Mary Margaret opens her eyes and begins to pull away when Emma kind of pulls her closer.
"I- I love you too." Emma says hesitantly. Mary Margaret is overcome with joy. She never thought she'd hear Emma say those words, not after Emma retreated when Emma stumbled over the words 'family' after they escaped Jefferson's. It'd seem like Emma would have never thought of her as family but now they both realize how important each other is. Mary Margaret smiles even wider and rests her head on Emma's shoulder, content to stay in Emma's arms.
Beep. Beep. Beep. The steady sound of the heart beat monitor fills her ears.
Beep. _ Beep. _ Beep. The sharp, high-pitched sound echoes the beating of her heart. Emma closes her eyes and ignores the tears running down her cheeks. The sting of the cold air hits her eyes abruptly when her eyes open. She smiles when she sees Mary Margaret still clinging to her. It's clear that her admission meant a lot. It did for both of them. She never fully realized how important Mary Margaret was until it was threatened to be taken away. She blinks faster, trying to push away the tears before Mary Margaret sees them but it's too late.
Mary Margaret has tears of her own on her face but no doubt from a completely different reason. Emma averts her eyes, ashamed and guilty about her reason. Mary Margaret probably takes that as her embarrassment from admitting she cares deeply about her because Mary Margaret smiles, wipes her own tears away, and settles down in her chair. Emma feels more tears rising to her eyes. She swallows a sob that threatens to escape.
Beep. _ Beep. _ Beep. The spackled ceiling becomes interesting as Emma stares at it, wondering why life is so god damn unfair. Her whole life she has been desperately searching for someone to love: family to love and family to love her. Her fears of never finding family had lifted when she had gotten closer to Mary Margaret. Sure, Henry said that Mary Margaret was her literal family, but she knew that Mary Margaret was family even though she isn't her mom. Her mind wanders, a part of her interested in thinking of scenarios if Henry was actually right.
Beep. _ Beep. _ Beep. Maybe when everyone remembers who they are, they will come rushing to find her. Emma feels a smile tug at her lips despite her situation. David would be Prince Charming and Mary Margaret would be Snow White. She probably would be blocked off from them for a while, too astounded at the fact that her parents are fairy tale characters. But then after a while, probably some wild adventure, they would worm their way into her heart like Henry and Mary Margaret did. They would do so without warning and she might wake up one day, realizing she has parents that love her and she loves them back. Emma's heart aches when she thinks about it. She would have her family: Mary Margaret/Snow White, David/Prince Charming, and Henry.
Beep. _ Beep. _ Beep. The shrill sounds seem to get louder, as if they were trying to warn someone. Emma stops looking at the ceiling and gazes at Mary Margaret. If only Henry's book was real, then everything would be right. The longing in her chest hurts to the point that she can't stand it. Emma doesn't realize that she has been caught staring until it is too late. Mary Margaret's eyes meet hers and she glances away.
Beep. _ Beep. _ Beep. The monitors sound like they are screaming at her. Emma lets out a muffled sob and regrets it immediately because it attracted the concern of her best friend. Emma looks at Mary Margaret through swollen eyes. No… in these moments, Mary Margaret is Snow White, who is her mom. Her wishful thoughts lead to another sob breaking down her body. Her mom gets up and rushes to her side, never letting go of her hand.
When she feels her mom pull her closer, Emma automatically curls into her mom. She closes her eyes and desperately clutches at the sweater material on Snow. She can feel her mom's arm wrap around her at a rate that means she is worried about her. Emma cries into the warmth of Snow, unwilling to let go of the family she has.
"Emma, what's wr-"
Beep. _Beep. _ Beeep. The last harsh, elongated note the monitor sings finally catches the attention of her mom. Emma opens her eyes and glances up to catch Snow's head whipping towards the monitor. Her mom's features contort to fear and confusion. Emma lets go of Snow, her mom, and lays back again the pillows and waits. She can't look at her mom and best friend anymore. It will hurt too much. She has an overwhelming sense of guilt that aches constantly at this point. Her mind lashes out at herself. How can she do this to Mary Margaret/Snow!? Her guilt gets the best of her and she looks over at her mom. Snow is frantically glancing from the monitor and back at her then she lets out a scream for Dr. Whale.
Emma can't stand the sight of her mom, Mary Margaret or Snow White, like this so she grabs her hand. Snow immediately looks down at her and she can see the tear stains on Snow's cheek.
"I'm so sorry, mom." The word just slips out. She has been thinking about Mary Margaret as her mom for the last couple minutes and it flies out her mouth without hesitation. Her mind readjusts for a second, getting back to Mary Margaret as her family. Mary Margaret looks at her with a confused expression but with a smile nonetheless. Mary Margaret opens her mouth to talk but the shrill scream of the monitor captures both their attention.
Beep. _ Beeep. _ Beeeeeep. It's weird- weird to feel your heart stop. Emma turns away from Mary Margaret, lets go of her hand and stares at the spackled ceiling. She can hear her heartbeat in her ears and knows it is too slow to be normal. She keeps looking at the ceiling even though Dr. Whale is in the room. She knows he will… or can do nothing to help her. There is nothing that can help her.
When Mary Margaret was asleep on her legs, Dr. Whale came in and clarified the results of her surgery to her. Unbeknownst to everyone, including her, she had suffered major internal damage while on the floor of the basement. Dr. Whale sympathetically explained that she probably got the injury when she was tossed on the ground and she probably hit some blunt object. The surgery was supposed to stop the bleeding but they found that the cuffs were old enough to contain lead, which seeped into her blood while they were rubbing her wrists bare. The lead poisoning made it impossible to save her because the surgery weakened her resistance. The lead is making its way through her blood to her heart. Dr. Whale said that what she is experiencing, waking up and feeling fine, is called a surge. It is the one last boost before… well death.
Emma asked Dr. Whale to promise not to explain that to Mary Margaret until after she left. She wrote an extensive note that is as long as an essay a college professor would want. She didn't know if she could handle explaining all her feelings on her death bed to her best friend. Her uncontrollable guilt she's experienced since making that decision is unbearable but she couldn't take away Mary Margaret's happiness, not after the face she made when she realized Emma was awake. It broke her heart- well would have if it weren't already breaking inside her body.
Beeeep. _ Beeeeeeeeeeep. Emma feels her body take its last breath. Strangely everything feels calm. Her heart isn't pounding in her ears anymore and there is no pain. But her bravery is gone so Emma glances at Mary Margaret with scared eyes and grabs her hand. Mary Margaret is sobbing, she can tell, but apparently she can't hear her. All that fills her ears was the sound of the monitor.
Suddenly Mary Margaret's words return to her but no she can make no reply and she finds herself staring at Mary Margaret as darkness closes in.
Her gaze stays on Mary Margaret until the silence.
Nothing. The monitor screams no more as the silence echoes.